Those who have this on alerts, this isn't the new chapter, thats chapter one! lol Thanks

Disclaimers: I do not own Dragon Age it belongs to the awesome Bioware and their awesome team of writers!

Spoilers: PLEASE READ ZOMBIE BEFORE READING, Ties in to my other story The Path of the Mage, possibly Stolen Throne and The Calling.

Author's Note: After writing the piece Zombie I had the idea of doing a series of oneshots looking at the memories of the characters that appear in The Path of the Mage story. Many of them will focus on during the Blight, from different characters points of view but I may do some during the gap between the birth of River and six years later. This one is of Amilia's POV as she goes through the Circle of Magi during the Broken Circle Quest.

The Breaking Of Ties

The newest Grey Warden recruit looked around her former home watching as the templar's scurry about like mice. To her left one helps care for another while to her right two help barricade the door to the rest of the tower. Fear is potent in the air and what is behind those doors she knows will be testing but what stands before her grates more on her self control than anything behind those huge oak doors. It takes everything in her to not just turn on her heels and walk straight back out of the tower.

Let them deal with the abominations and blood mages, I'm no longer tied to that leash anymore, she thinks. But the ex-templar at her side and the life of an innocent, albeit foolish, boy is resting on her shoulders now. Reluctantly she swallows her pride and decides to act professional towards the monster before her. But it pleases her that at least she is free and has a choice now.

Greagoir stand ahead of her. As usual he looks harried, stressed and above all, really pissed off. Ami allows herself a small smirk before composing herself as the Knight-Commander turns to notice her and her merry party of wonderfully odd companions. The look of pure disgust and hate is enough to give her reason to smile for weeks that just her and her companions' presence has sparked this amount of reaction from him. But there is nothing like the present to get on with things and Ami is straight to the point about why they are here and what they want. She doesn't want to be here longer than she has too.

Greagoir isn't pleased and that isn't at all surprising to her as she tries to resist the urge to roll her eyes as he goes on and on about abominations and such like. As if she doesn't have enough problems already, with the Blight, a bounty on her head and her fellow Grey Warden, who has also just mentioned in the past few days that he is a prince. Yes, Ami doesn't have enough problems without Greagoir pointing out the significant flaws in her plan. Eventually the urge to rub the bridge of her nose at the templar's ramblings becomes too much and Ami snaps at him.

"I'll sort your problem for you since you are such hypocritical lackley to do it yourself!"

That shuts him up. For about two minutes before he starts spewing more abuse at her and bringing up the whole Jowan thing, again. Seriously if she hasn't already had to explain that to her fellow companions she'd swear she was stuck in a time loop constantly going over and over the same point and arguing with him at every moment. And that would be her idea of hell; she does not want to take over from Irving and have to argue with him all day. Does he really think she actually wants to be here? In this blasted maker forsaken excuse for a 'place of learning'? With him? So she says so and that does shut him up and he finally lets her and a few of her companions enter the tower while the rest, she reluctantly tells to help the templar's.

Amilia Amell does not want to be here. The memories of her former home are thick and fast coming to the front of her mind. And Jowan, someone who she has tried desperately to avoid thinking about is around every corner now as old memories surface. In the one poignant look she shot at him back at Redcliffe castle after agreeing on the course of action, she had sealed his fate. I will deal with you later.

Now twice because of that idiot friend of hers she was back in the tower under Greagoir's supervision. But then it gets even better because they come across Wynne and Ami can't help but feel that the Maker is having some laugh at completely her expense. The old mentor is glad, apparently, to see her alive and wants to follow them. Ami does her best to not show her exasperated expression and agrees half-heartedly for her to follow. She also agrees with Morrigan even if she doesn't exactly say it. It's better to have more allies in this place than fewer she thinks; this is the tower after all. But if Greagoir was one thorn in her side Wynne was the other and of course none of her companions are helping her. Alistair is just standing there, Leliana is looking about, ever watchful about the place and Morrigan as usual is complaining. She hasn't stopped complaining since they left Redcliffe, actually, since they left Flemeth's hut and Ami knows that once Wynne joins them it will be a pairing disaster and no doubt the grey haired hag won't leave even after the tower is saved, the women is just like that.

Fortunately there is little time for much conversation after they begin to walk through the tower and Ami is glad about that. She really doesn't want to answer Leli's questions about her memories of the tower, though many are pleasant the last few are a painful reminder. As Greagoir had said abominations and demons were stalking the tower and it takes Ami and her companions a few moments and trial and error to figure out how to actually take them down. But they soon fall at their feet as they slowly climb up the tower Alistair announces that they are getting pretty good at it. His humour is a small respite from the horror that has befallen her home but Ami has other things on her mind. By the time they reach the templar's quarters Ami is becoming a little more worried. She hasn't seen Cullen. Not his body or anything of him as they've walked through the tower and the thought sends her skin tingling.

Their final goodbyes had been an exchanging of relieved glances as he, Duncan, and Irving rescued her from Greagoir and his poker. Alistair had tried talking to her, to distract her from the haunting memories of the tower but it was futile. When he makes a joke about the tower and mages flirting with templar's Ami abruptly stops and shoots him a dark look before hissing at him, her hands clenched tightly with a tight ball of electricity in her palm.

"You have no idea what you're talking about Alistair," she growls. "You've never set foot in the tower; you've never lived with mages and templar's in a small space." She looks down the hall and points to one of the bodies, one she unfortuantly recognises. "That is Ser Bryn. I thought of him as a friend once." Then the tears come, easier than she expected but she's started now so she'll be damned if she isn't going to finish. "He used to watch me during detention when I got into trouble but he always had sweets and gave them out to the younger mages. This was my family." She turns on her heel and walks the next few feet into another room ignoring his attempts at an apology.

Seeing Niall on the floor being, eaten, is a memory that Ami knows will never leave her, one of many now. The demon that hunches over him sets Ami off and she launches the ball of lightning she's still holding. It doesn't do much but get the monsters attention and then all Ami can do is suddenly feel like she needs a well earned rest. She shakes her head, twice to rid the feeling but the demons words which are somehow soothing, no creature like that should have soothing words it was just, wrong. It doesn't matter in the end because Ami soon finds herself wrapped in sleeps warm embrace and nothing, nothing seems more blissful than this.

The next time she opens her eyes she finds herself on a bed. A large big bed with a proper mattress that's not lumpy like her old apprentice one and not hard like the cold ground she's been sleeping on. Something stirs next to her and she freezes and her eyes go wide. A mantra of things run through her head but one name quite clearly sounds in her head over and over.

Please don't be Zevran; please don't be Zevran, anyone but Zevran, Alistair, Sten, anyone, just not the perverted elf!

Gathering her courage she turns over and looks at the sleeping red head next to her and gasps.

It's Cullen and he's asleep, naked, next to her. Oh Maker you are evil, she thinks. Because this has to be the time she dreams of Cullen in her bed when there are so many things to do. Even though at the moment she can't think of a single one, strange she thinks but then she shrugs the odd sensation away and looks at the demigod next to her. Ami can't help the sudden mischievous thoughts that run through her head and she grins. She takes a peak under the covers to actually see him and the sudden rush of blood that runs to her cheeks does nothing to help dampen down the excitement that's beginning to flame up in her belly. It's then she realises that she's also naked and that just makes her cheeks burn brighter. Her rustling and apparent squeeing gently rouses the carefully sculpted figure next to her and sleepily he opens his eyes and looks at her with a contented smile that she's never seen before.

She doesn't know how long passes but there are two warring thoughts running through her head that concern her. For once in her life she is happy and content but even that has her concerned. Her logical mind screams that this isn't real that no one could ever be this happy and content, the world wasn't like that not while monsters roam. Darkspawn! She remembers, there are monsters called Darkspawn and … and an arch demon! Her head feels fuzzy but now she is certain, something is wrong.

Another part of her screamed that Cullen would never, never cross this line and she knows that. She knows Cullen is a loyal templar. Templar, she scoffs mindless Zombies. But she also knows he's not a mindless Zombie, he was Cullen her rescuer. Greagoir she thinks and the memory comes haunting back and she shivers as she realises this is the fade. After a number of attempts she finally escapes and goes in search of her companions.

Everyone is reluctant to leave their dreams and Ami almost feels sorry for them, taking no pleasure in making them leave. Afterwards, however, Ami and her companions have the chance to vent their anger at the demon itself. They return to the real world a little worse for wear and jaded. Ami above everything else is angry, furious; the demon raised by the blood mages had delved deep into her thoughts and shown her, her true feelings. She walks with purpose now, determined to see an end put to the complete chaos that has befallen her home.

But around the corner and through the door to the stairway to the Harrowing Chamber a caged figure stops her in her tracks.

Her heart breaks as she see's him there pacing and muttering to himself. When he looks up to see who approaches it's like he doesn't see her, or know her.

"Cullen!"

All propriety is left behind at the door as she runs up to the cage. She recoils as she is zapped by the cage falling a few feet away on her back. A grunt of a laugh from Alistair earns him a dark look as he helps her to her feet but anything else he says is ignored as she walks back to the cage. This time she looks about to try and figure out how to get to him to free him.

"Cullen," she smiles. "Oh it's so good to see you! Hold on I'll help get you out!"

She paces around the edge of the cage, judging and her mind fervently trying to work out how to bring this barrier down. As she glances back at him she see's his scowl and he folds his arms.

"This trick again! I won't be fooled!" he growls making her take a step back.

"Don't you recognise me?" she whispers.

"Only too well." He confesses, his expression sad and lost. "How deeply they must have trudged through my thoughts. Using my—my- ill-advised infatuation with her—with you, Ami-against me. A mage. The one thing," he gasps, "the one thing I always wanted but could never have."

Ami ignores the gasps from Wynne and Leliana and looks at him. He doesn't see me, she thinks and she hears Leliana say something about being tortured and Ami feels her heart tear a little more. She searches his face trying to get his amber eyes to recognise her, even a little, but it's no use. He can't see her.

"Cullen, Cullen it's me. It's really me." She pleads.

He bends onto one knee and clasps his hands together and starts to pray.

"You defeated my brothers but I will stay strong! For my sake – for theirs!"

Ami watches as he begins to cry and all the strength in her legs fail as she slumps to her knees hearing that sound. She feels helpless because she knows no amount of magic or spells can free him and it looks like he's only getting worse.

"Cullen, Cullen listen to me." She places a hand on her chest and the other just a little away from the cages edge. Channelling some magic into her hand she presses it against the barrier so she can rest her hand on the shimmering barrier. "I'm real, I'm really here. What have they done to you?"

There is disbelief in his eyes as he looks up at her. She knows he's unsure what to believe, if this is a trick or if it could be true. She whispers his name again and she nods as his eyes widen that she is in fact sitting there talking to him.

"Why?" he croaks. "Why have you returned to the tower?"

"The Blight sent me and when Greagoir told me what happened I couldn't stand by. I had to find you and the others."

He scowls and growls at her. "To think I once felt sorry for the mages!"

The look she gives him is one of sorrow and hurt and she knows he feels it strongly. The way he stares at her makes her stomach turn in flips and not like the way the sloth demons Cullen had done. This look is one of hate and anger and so much rage it takes her a moment to realise she's let him see her weak as she feels her face becoming wet with silent tears.

"We're not all evil Cullen," she says, only loud enough for him to hear but the templar looks at her with disgust and anguish his sanity on the knifes edge of falling away completely.

"Only mages have that power! Only mages are that susceptible to the whisperings of demons! You have to kill them all!"

Ami stares at him in horror. Her Cullen would never demand her to end the life of an innocent but then, she has never been trapped and tortured with his face and demons taunted him with her face. He has and has suffered for how long? Hours? Days? Damn Greagoir for not protecting him! She thinks but then remembers that Cullen would run in to help and save the helpless regardless and this is how he has been rewarded. With pain and torture and my face haunting and teasing him, that is his reward? Uldred, Uldred will pay, oh he will pay and that she makes clear but when she tells Cullen that she needs the First Enchanter he condemns her compassion.

"I hope you haven't doomed us all!" he yells after her.

Ami has never felt such heart felt pain in her being before. It feels like part of herself has been ripped from her and it takes all her skill at hiding her feelings to push on. She grasps at anger and rage, those emotions giving her strength as she marches her troops up to the Harrowing Chamber to meet the enemy. She makes a point of slapping the blood mage in the face with her staff before he has a chance to speak his poison at her. She takes pleasure in hearing the crack of his nose breaking and the intake of breath from her companions. The battle is long and Ami is tired of fighting, the battle with Sloth has drained her of the large amount of energy she had but she refuses to give up until the corpse of what was once Uldred, mage of the Circle sits at her feet. They have won but not without cost.

Irving is dead and Ami hears the wail of grief from Wynne. The young Grey Warden is tired and slumps to the ground to catch her breath on the steps of the harrowing chamber, no-one approaches her. When Alistair eventually does, at the urging of Leliana she barely notices. The ex-templar takes a seat next to her and they sit in silence for a few moments before Ami gets to her feet and tells them that it is time to see Greagoir.

He doesn't take the news well which surprises her a lot. Perhaps she was wrong to call him a Zombie but then the scars on her legs remind her that no, in fact he is and always will be a monster. Wynne is the senior mage now but it doesn't matter she of course wants to go with the Wardens, no surprise there. What is surprising is that Greagoir offers both the mages and the templar's help in the fight against the Blight. Ami doesn't know what to say but 'thank you' and it's a 'through-gritted-teeth' sort of thank you. But Greagoir is a little different now; he looks deflated and less foreboding than he used to be which is a little disheartening. What is even more shattering for Ami is Cullen's ramblings about mages being abominations-in-wait and the look he gives them disturbs her. It's a crazed scary look and thankfully Greagoir shuts the idea down but not without Cullen spouting off his own thoughts and cursing them all for their blindness. He finally turns his fierce gaze on Ami and glares at her.

"I don't care what you think!" he says taking a step towards her. "It was the stupid fancies of a naïve boy!"

It takes a moment before Ami realises she's shaking, his words have cut her deeper than any darkspawn blade, deeper than any piercing arrow his words have cut through her heart, pulled it out and thrust it into her hands. It takes another moment for her to realise that Alistair and Morrigan have both stepped forward and are shouting at Cullen, defending her. Alistair defends her more and tells him that Ami just saved his sorry ass. It isn't till later that Ami finds it amusing that he said it but at the moment she is numb and in shock. The way Cullen just looks at them all in disgust and walks away makes her heart sink. Ami keeps her eyes on his back as he walks away and then she lets her eyes drop to the floor. She doesn't hear what else they say to him but she doesn't want to be in the tower any longer. She stretches her hands feeling the familiar tingling between her fingers if she concentrates on the feeling she could bring the ceiling down, she could end the ache thats in her chest. She quickly clenches her hands, feeling her nails dig into the palms and her entire body tense. She won't let that demon out; no it can be of better use to fighting other demons, darkspawn.

She hears Alistair and Wynne talking to Greagoir in the background. They were organising the restock of their supplies and giving them information about the situation at Redcliffe. Good, they can do without me she thinks and so she makes to leave the tower. Leliana follows her but the perceptive bard begins to distract her with mindless talk of shoes and dresses as she links her arm around Ami's.

The mage doesn't look back to the tower once the doors close behind her. The wound of her first love is too deep and too fresh to have anything but a bitter taste in her mouth. She doesn't ever want to come back here. She's a Warden and her duty is to them and the protection of Ferelden, sod the mages and the Templar's or rather one templar in particular.