Ranma, Linkin Park, Yoko Kanno, Ishikawa Chiaki, Nishida Masao, and any other entities mentioned knowingly or unknowingly are either in fact others or property of others and used without permission in the hope of entertaining readers for free. The laws of physics and sense are broken here without permission, but might be put back afterwards. The actual process of talent location and such in Japan is freely ignored. Japanese used occasionally to emphasize non-Japanese words, which are romanized mercilessly. Special thanks to folks at fukufics who helped me with my deplorable lack of singing knowledge.

Komura Kimiko was not having the best of days. As a matter of fact, she wasn't having the best of careers. And here I thought that being in the music industry would be glamorous. Maybe it is if you're actually involved in production, or concert organization, or pretty much any other department. She looked at the stack of tapes, CDs, DVDs, and papers in front of her and sighed. Maybe I'm looking at this the wrong way. How many other people get paid to watch crazy people act stupid? Other than those at mental asylums, anyway... And this job's prestigious enough that maybe I could get up to live work one of these years.

Sighing again, she took the top item from the pile, a CD labeled "Midori no Akatsuki." Green Dawn. Huh, wonder if they're a knockoff of that American band, Green Day? But then why would you name a band so obviously after another famous one, anyway? Though there there was that one band from America trying to audition which just copied others and called itself an homage group... Staring at the CD itself did not reveal any insights, as it had only the band's name printed upon it. Well, some things might be better left unexplained. And it still sounds better than that one, kiss-killers or whatever it was.

Putting it in the CD player only confirmed her initial guess that it would be sub par - saying something sucked in official reports was frowned upon - as the recording sounded like some sort of rock mixed with some bunch of yelling people. Well, it must either be 'art' or a live concert, she thought, but it is 'lacking in creative achievement' either way. Ejecting the CD let the next one take it's place. This one is..."Fantasy of the Chinese." Well, it might not be too awful.

However, it was. And so were the next 12 CDs, 4 tapes, and 15 DVDs. Luckily, lunch was not.

Sipping the last of her soda, Kimiko sat back at her desk. Nothing like good noodles to make up for lame music. Looking to the stack of viewed items, she sighed again. Well, I suppose I should finish watching these and then get on to paperwork. As bad as having to go through all these is, the paperwork's worse.

She pulled the top DVD off the pile and looked at it. Hmmm..'Tendou Productions Demo-technical and singing'? Interesting - more than just the normal music. Could easily be the best one today, I suppose. With that whole martial arts fad there had been more submissions featuring performances instead of just singing. Unfortunately, most were still quite bad, but at least seeing people embarrass themselves jumping around was a change of pace from seeing people embarrass themselves with bad singing.

Popping open the DVD player, Kimiko inserted the disc. The menu was simple, with two options labeled 'technical' and 'singing' in bright red letters on a black background.. Makes sense, given the title...guess I'll get the singing over with first. Selecting that choice on the menu led to two more options simply labeled 1 and 2. Simple enough. Suppose I'll go about it logically. One click caused the screen to flash "My December", by Linkin Park momentarily before the singing began.

"This is my December
This is my time of the year
This is my December..."

The picture was centered on a black haired man standing in the middle of the screen before a black background, singing. Well, makes sense-better to show the singing apart from the music video part I suppose. He's doing pretty well, good tone and pitch, even though not it's original music. Need to keep up on those American bands a bit more often, I guess. He's kinda cute, too. Smiling at that thought, she returned her attention to the singer.

"...These are my snow covered dreams
This is me pretending
This is all I need..."

Kimiko idly tapped her pen against her lip. He's better than most, I admit. Good voice, sustains the notes well, though he's not testing his full range on this song. Probably the best singer today, actually. Though...he looks surprisingly serious compared to most of the auditioners we get, just sitting there with no change in expression or anything. Doesn't quite have the 'smile when you sing' concept down either. Reaching the end of the song, the DVD returned to the secondary menu. Hn...maybe it just seems odd because so many videos I've seen today have been live concerts with some focus on the crowd and performance, all the jumping around and such. Shrugging, she selected option 2. Suppose that's my logical next choice. The screen briefly presented the title "Kiseki no Umi," by Kanno Yoko on the nearly familiar black background before cutting over to a shot of a red-headed woman.

"Yami no Yozora ga Futari Wakatsu no wa
Yobiau Kokoro Hadaka ni suru tame..."

As the singer continued, Kimiko began her analysis. Well, she's also quite decent. Good enunciation, good tone. She seems a bit more involved with the song than the guy, but then singing foreign languages often does that.

"...Kaze yo Watashi wa Osorenai
Ai Koso Mitsukedashita Kiseki yo..."

Musing further as the song continued, Kimiko's mind analyzed the possibilities. Hmm, both are good at dramatic singing - no demonstration of other genres. She sounds like she'd be good at something livelier if she can get in to it, motivate the crowd...could have a more lively stage presence than the guy too. He'd do well with a dark or brooding image if he never smiled and was always serious on stage. Or maybe get him to smile more, change his hair, give him a prettier look? He'd have to have plenty of energy to really be able to pull that off, though. As the song concluded, the figure on screen kept up the earlier intensity but Kimiko paid it almost no more attention, still deep in thought. Well, the best singing so far today, at least. Either of them, really. Hmm...they might be good in a duet, actually. Unless one of them is a prima donna type or something.

Kimiko momentarily ignored the return of the DVD to the secondary menu as she continued to ponder the possibilities. Yeah, maybe them and ah...Mamoru? Yukiko? With someone else fairly serious, they'd make a good dramatic singing duo. Or maybe go the other way, add someone much lighter and try for more of a pop idol feel? Looking back to the screen, she shook her head. They don't really seem to be much in the way of a typical idol, though, so that probably wouldn't go over well. Could mention that, though...eh, don't know if they'd do it or not. Anyway. now to the technical part

Navigating over to the technical menu, Kimiko saw that there were actually three numbered options. Aww, and just when I thought I was seeing a pattern...Wow, this job must be wearing at me if that's enough to entertain me. With that entertaining thought out of the way, she clicked on the '1' label.

The screen again faded to black, then recentered on the black-haired man from the first singing demonstration standing on some sort of wooden stage with a black background. Everything was still for a moment before he began moving slowly. The increase in martial arts based videos had led Kimiko to get a quick overview of the main schools of martial arts and so she was able to recognize what was onscreen. Ah, a Taikyokuken kata. Nice execution, but that's not going to sell concert tickets. Wonder why -. At that second, the man altered his motion and began combinations of leg sweeps, kicks, throws, and an occasional flip. Whoa, he completely changed his style! It's...umm...well, different.

She watched intently as the man continued to spar with his invisible opponent. It almost looks like some sort of judo, but it doesn't use kicks. Maybe some derivation, or a similar old school? He's looking impressive regardless. Best technique I've seen in any submission the last week. As the now revealed martial artist performed a backflip kick into a leg sweep and punch combination, she revised her assessment. Best one this month, and maybe all year!

The demonstration continued through at least half a dozen additional styles, only two of which Kimiko recognized, before it came to a close. The screen again faded to black and returned to the tripartite menu.

Impressive indeed. I bet the next option is that girl doing her own martial arts demonstration, but what will the third be? Despite her curiosity, she selected the second option. Matching her expectations, the television displayed the redhead on the same stage as the previous demonstration.

The demonstration proved to be an apparently identical demonstration of the large number of styles, performed identically to the best of Kimiko's observation ability. Impressive how they managed to get that down so pat. Though of course when you can do as many takes as you need, it's easier to present a flawless run. And given video editing these days, you can combine multiple takes so cleanly...

As the menu faded back into view, her hand was already on the remote control moving the selection to the red number '3' on the screen. If this is as good as the other two, we've got to give this 'Tendou Productions' a call.

The same stage again appeared on the screen, but this time it differed with the presence of a fountain in the middle of it. The left side of the stage had the black-haired man while the right had the redhead, noticeably shorter than the other. They bowed to each other and then assumed stances. They held them for a few short moments, and then flashed into action.

The redhead charged toward the center first followed imperceptibly later by the man where they exchanged a dozen punches before jumping back. The man went for a leg sweep which the woman did a backflip over, bringing her leg down in a kick aimed at the man's shoulder. He brought his legs back under him and raised his arms in a cross block that she almost bounced off of before he countered with another series of punches.

In the seconds since the fight had begun, Kimiko had gone from hopeful to awestruck. This is as good as a martial arts movie! I can't believe - and then even doing anything other than watching the fight was a chore as the woman countered the punches by ducking and returning an uppercut which the man swayed out of the way of only to try and grab the woman's arm in what looked to be a throw position.

She twisted out from the strong arm's hold and lept back. A standing five foot backwards jump! How can she do that? She stood there for a moment and then started to sing.

"Hikari ni Tsutsumare Musuu no Hanatachi wa
Mayou no nai Me de Ashita o Mitsumeteru..."

Her eyes narrowed at the man as they stood otherwise motionless for those few moments. A more robust accompaniment than had been featured previously in the singing demonstrations swelled as she launched into action, launching a pair of roundhouse kicks.

The black haired man swayed back from the first, ducked under the second, and then retaliated with a half dozen punches which the woman dove in and around, somehow avoiding being hit the entire time. She countered the seventh punch with a parry into an elbow thrust which the man lept back from. He then lept high toward the woman, somehow staying suspended for extra seconds while the music swelled. As he landed, she continued singing while dodging the now incoming punches.

"...Dare mo ga Junsuisa o Watashi ni Nozomu kedo,
surikiresou na Sora ni Motteikeru mono nado..."

As she entered the second line, wind began swirling around her hands onscreen, coalescing into a rose-shaped tornado that somehow launched at the man. However, he had begun gathering some sort of blue energy in his own hands at nearly the same time and it met the oncoming air, dispersing it in a bloom of light and wind.

"...Saiteru Hana o Otte,
Jibun no mono ni suru you na,
Tsumibukai mono Bakari..."

The fight became even more esoteric with multiple wind and light blasts trading sides, forcing both combatants to dodge out of the way or counter with another surge of power. Their movements sped up further with flying leaps taking combat to the other, leading to further exchanges of blows before a flip or tumble carried the two apart again. The combat began almost to resemble a slow forming whirlwind of action centered around the fountain on the middle of the stage which was almost surprisingly undisturbed but for the occasional wake indicating that one of the two must have hit it while diving by.

"...Mirai to Yubikiri suru no o yameta no wa,
Itami kara Tooku Nogareyou to shite mo..."

The climax of the fight was almost a physical shock as the fist of the man planted into the face of the woman as her foot collided with his stomach. The two froze in place for a moment, music stopped, before separating and bowing to each other as the screen cut once more to black.

Kimiko could only sit there, stunned.