The first year of medical school Eun Soo was invited for an interview. It was a regular protocol to talk to the students about their choice of medical profession. Scare a few weak ones off and keep the good ones around longer. She was asked a standard question: "Why do you want to become a doctor?"

"Because I do not want to see people die."

"Ms…" the professor looked at the paper, "Yoo. Do you understand that in your professional career as a doctor you will have patients die and you may not be able to save everybody. That is something you have to understand and be prepared for," he frowned.

"I understand, professor. I want to learn what to do to save people. If I'm next to someone who is dying, I want to be able to say I know what to do to save him."

"Ms. Yoo, it is a noble sentiment, but it is not realistic. I am worried about your mindset. The doctor needs to know her limitations."

"I will become the best doctor I can be and will try to save as many lives as I can. What's unrealistic about that?" she stared daringly at the old gentleman, who continued to frown at her.

"Ms. Yoo, if you want to face death and fight with it, you should focus on surgery. You might get a chance to safe a life or two. Are you up to that?"

That's how she ended up in surgery.

Eun Soo did not reveal the real reason why she decided to become a doctor, why she studied so hard and won prizes for chemistry and biology in the regional school contests. She did not tell the real reason why she wanted to devote her career to saving lives. It was not some kind of an idealistic dream. Nothing of the sort. She did not want to loose out to death. Once was enough.

. . .

"Oppa, Oppa," Eun Soo was jumping and waving her tiny skinny arms. "Oppa, over here".

"Eun Soo-ya." She was lifted and thrown up in the air, squealing and giggling at the same time. "Do you want to fly?"

"Yes, oppa!"

"Climb up." And a boy put her on his shoulders.

Eun Soo raised her hands, spreading them like wings, and with the wind into her face, she was flying. "I'm a bird, I'm an airplane, woo, woo," she was delighted, and her brother laughing, ran with the little girl, who loved to fly on his shoulders.

"Oppa, I got you a present."

"A present? What is it?"

"You have to close your eyes."

"OK," he lowered himself, squatting in front of her and closed his eyes.

Eun Soo neared a fluffy yellow flower to his nose, tickling the tip of it. "Ha-ha-ha," she was so proud of herself, laughing herself into a fit, finally falling to the ground and rolling around.

"Eun-Soo-ya, not fair," he grabbed her, falling on the ground himself, lifting her little body, he warned, "You'll pay for it!"

"No", she playfully bumped her forehead against his. "I DID get flowers for you. These are my favorite ones. They are bright and pretty and they remind me of you – because they make me happy."

"I got you all of this" – she spread her hands wide. They were in a middle of the field, blooming with yellow flowers.

. . .

Eun Soo never talked about her brother. Nobody besides close relatives knew that she ever had one. That was her last happy memory of him. He died. He died in front of her. In a stupid and senseless car accident. He was crossing the street, picking her up after preschool. She did not see what happened, she was looking at the window display, picking a cake she wanted for her birthday. She heard loud noises and screams and felt something horrible, as her heart shriveled inside. Her brother was on the ground and she tried to run to him and tell him to get up. "Oppa, oppa!" But his heart stopped. The medics came a minute too late and the onlookers did not do anything, scared to touch a bleeding man. So the little Eun Soo, weeping on a sidewalk, could only watch. She decided that she would become a good doctor, the kind of doctor who would not be late, the kind who would not let people die.

. . .

Eun Soo arrived into the emergency room and was immediately directed to the new patient. "He is critical, doctor." It was a man in mid 20s, tall, lean, with long thick hair tied in a ponytail, a bandana on his head, dressed in a marshal arts-like or even historical looking outfit. Hand firmly grasping a sword (she was not sure at first, but that's what swords looked like on TV). With blood on his face and broken ribs, barely alive.

"Car accident – massive internal bleeding and a head trauma on top," a nurse was rapidly reciting the important details of the case to familiarize the doctor.

Code red– he was crashing. Eun Soo used defibrillator once – still flatlining; second time – still the same. "Damn it", she screamed, hitting him with the fist on the heart muscle, "Don't you dare die on me here. I still need to take you into the surgery and save you! Do you hear me?" Desperately, she started doing CPR, pumping his heart to revive him. "Come on, come on!"

"Doctor, that's it enough, he is gone."

"Not on my watch! I have not lost a patient yet and not about to start now!" she pushed the hands away.

"1, 2, 3, come back!" She was so desperate to save this stranger, anger and frustration overcame her, bitter tears dropping down on his face, "Please, just stay with me, ha? Just a bit so that I can get you better!" She exclaimed softly.
Whether it was her plea, her tears or good-old CPR, something jolted him into the world of living and the monitor registered a heartbeat.

Exhausted she stepped aside. "Prep him for surgery, I'm scrubbing in".

"What is wrong with me?" she muttered to herself. The first rule is not to get too emotional. Crying over a patient – I must be off. Ah, the break up. That must be it. After seeing someone come back from the dead the little disturbance in her romantic life seemed kind of stupid to even worry about. Still her emotions were quite raw, making her extremely sensitive.

Getting ready for the surgery, his pale face and white lips still flashing in her mind. Who is this person? Why did it happen to him? If I was not there and like a crazy woman tried to revive him, when everybody gave up, would he have died? Was it all meant to be? Random thoughts coursing through her mind, she needed to quiet herself and get ready for the procedure.

She scrubbed in. The patient was young and strong, luckily his heart was not damaged. The surgery lasted for 7 hours. They managed to stop the bleeding and prevent any further damage to his brain.

Eun Soo was given an honor of closing up. She had a magic touch, even seasoned doctors agreed, she had a way with a needle, her stitches were like a work of art. "Here, now you are going to be like new."

"Doctor, good job," a nurse commented. "First dibs on him, I like me some young and handsome ones", she continued joking with the other assistants.

"Nurse Kang, Doctor Yoo," professor Kim gave out the assignments. "You will be monitoring the patient's progress. This case needs a lot of attention, the next few days are vital for recovery."

"Yes, sir." Eun Soo exchanged the looks with the nurse, who volunteered for post-op care, "Let's go".

After giving the instructions to the nurse, Eun Soo went to the "dark room" where interns could catch some sleep. She grabbed a bunk and crashed, completely drained. For some reason, the patient's face stayed with her, haunting her during the night. Although she never actually saw them, his eyes looked familiar – deep brown, thoughtful, with a tinge of melancholy, almond shaped – these eyes seemed to follow her wherever she went in her dream. Every time she would turn, the image disappeared, the man was never there. It was all in her imagination.

"What a weird dream," she thought in the morning. I really need to get a good breakfast.

She bumped, of course, into her ex in the corridor. Looking like a train ran over her, she was not in the shape to make any snipe comments or to even look him straight in the eye. She brushed past him, keeping her head lowered, as if she did not notice his presence, purposely taking off her glasses.