Chapter 2 - It Only Hurts When I'm Breathing
"It took so long to see, you walked away from me, when I need you. Wake up, I'm pounding on the door. I'm not the man I was before. Where the hell are you, when I need you?"
- -Three Days Grace "Wake Up"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Always and Forever. That's what we promised to each other. But I guess being teenagers prevented the 'Forever' and the 'Always'. I would have loved her till death do us part, just like in our vows. I wish love could conquer all, and we were together like on our wedding day.
- -flashback- -
Haley and Nathan are standing on the beach, Haley in a white gown and Nathan in a suit, with a priest and Haley's parents, Lydia and Jimmy. Nathan slips a ring onto Haley's ring finger and smiles at her.
"Someday, this beach might wash away . . . the oceans may dry . . . the sun could dim but on that day, I'll still be loving you. Always and forever. I promise you Haley."
Haley smiles uncontroably back at Nathan as the priest continues. "And now, Haley, please repeat after me; I Haley, take you Nathan."
Haley looks at her parents and smiles before turning her attention back to Nathan and the Priest in front of herself. "I Haley, take you Nathan."
"To have and to hold, from this day forward."
"To have and to hold, from this day forward. In sickness and in health. For richer or poorer. For better or worse. I promise, that I will love and cherish you And will deny all those that would come between us. I make this promise for eternity. I promise that I will keep forever . . . Until the end of time. Till death do us part."
- -end flashback- -
But I guess we can't always get what we want though, can we? Reality sets in and you find out that your wife has a special talent and is offered to tour with The Wreckers and one Chris Keller. Reality sucks.
- -flashback- -
Nathan and Haley quickly enter the apartment, and Nathan turns toward Haley. "You know, now that Taylor's leaving, maybe we'll have enough hot water for our own showers."
Haley smiles and closes the door. She eyes him a couple of times before climbing onto the counter with a sigh. She hugs him sadly. Nathan asks, "Haley, what's wrong?" as she lets go of him.
"Um… Michelle Branch likes my voice. She thinks I could be a singer. A real one." Haley watches as a smile spreads across his face. "Chris said that she wants me on tour." It hurts when she sees Nathan's smile drop. "I'm so far ahead with classes and I'd be back in time for finals."
Nathan nods but Haley knows that he doesn't approve of this. "So says the great Chris."
"No, this isn't about him, Nathan. This is about… opportunity. I have, my entire life, been the reliable one and the dependable one and I've always done… precisely what's expected of me."
"Till we got married."
"And then I finally did something for me… something that I wanted… and the world didn't end." She smiles sadly before taking a deep breath and continues on. "And I have that chance again."
Nathan raises his eyebrows, Haley notices and it makes her heart break. "If you leave me."
She gasps. "This is not the end for us. This is my shot to find out if I am good enough to have a life in music. Or if nights at TRIC are all I get."
"And this has nothing to do with Chris?"
Quietly she answers, "No. Absolutely not."
He snorts softly. "Then why haven't you asked me to come with you?" Haley doesn't answer, not really sure how to answer but he continues anyway, his voice broken. "Did you kiss him?"
"Yes." Haley watches as Nathan breaks, showing that he is beyond hurt and she wraps her hands around his neck. "I'm sorry. You have to believe me. That's not what this is about. Nathan—"
"Haley, listen; if you wanna go, you should go." He pauses breathing deeply. "If you do…" He steps back, away from Haley, "we're done." Haley gasps as Nathan turns and leaves the apartment.
- -end flashback- -
Nathan brought the bottle to his mouth, posed to swallow the bitter taste down and forget the painful memories. But no matter how much he drank, the memories continued to come.
- -flashback- -
The basketball is dribbled down the left side of the court, the rhythm of the bouncing ball on tune with the rhythm of the players heart beat. The ball is quickly passed to another player and then right back to his hands. He streaks through the crowd of players blocking him, under the net and out the other side. He jumps and slams the ball through the hoop as his fingers rub the orange rim. Somewhere a buzzer is going, and finally he comes out of this state he works up when he plays, somewhere where he can't be disturbed.
"Scott, hit the showers."
"Alright coach, I will eventually!" Nathan moves into the shot, dribbling his basketball with perfect rhythm, throws the ball and gets it into the hoop. He races toward the hoop to retrieve the ball from under the net as his teammate joins him on the court.
"Yo, Big Time, you got a letter, man." Nathan's teammate waves the envelope containing the letter in the air desperately trying to get Nathan's attention. Nathan can hear his heart beat faster and faster in anticipation.
"A Letter? From who?"
"I don't know." His teammate brings the letter up to his nose smells the letter and smiles his sweet, though devilish smile. "Whoever it is, she smells hot." He hands the letter over to Nathan and steals Nathan's ball, bounces it once and slams it through the hoop. He catches the ball again, walks to Nathan and gives it back. "You better just hope she doesn't meet me."
"Yeah, you wish Aaron! How do you know it's not from my mom?"
"Well, if what I think you told me is true, she was just in college when she had you, so she can't be that old and she probably is hot." Aaron winked at Nathan.
"Yeah, I really walked into that one now didn't I."
"Yea, so who is it from?
"I don't know. The address is typed and there isn't anyway I could know who its from unless I open it." Though he said he didn't know who wrote it to Aaron, Nathan knew who it might be from, and Nathan both wanted and didn't want it to be from her.
"Yo, Big Time. Are you going to open it or what. Do you want me to get you started?"
"No its okay, I'm going to go back to my room and open it if you don't mind." Nathan walked away from Aaron and started toward his dorm room, not even stopping to have a shower before. It slipped from his mind.
He entered his dorm, through his basketball in the corner chair and laid down on his small single bed. He kept looking at the letter, staring, until his eyes began to water. This wasn't the first letter he had gotten from her, but he hadn't opened any of them.
He walked over to the dresser in the corner of the room that Nathan occupied. He opened the bottom drawer of his dresser, pulling out jeans and shorts until he found the tattered, Nike shoe box. Nathan pulled out the shoe box and opened it, revealing about ten letters. Silently, he placed the newer letter into the box and closed the lid.
- -end flashback- -
Nathan took another drink from the bottle enclosed in his hand and looked around the beach where he had come a few hours before. If he wanted to escape her memory, shouldn't he have gone to the place where they got married.
He picked up one of the small purple flowers that surrounded himself and brought it up to his nose, letting the smell reach his nose as he sighed and laid on the ground.
- -flashback–
"So, Big Time, you hear? We're going out P-A-R-T-Ying tonight!"
"Cool. I'm down."
"Are you sure? Are you really sure? Cause you know you ain't going to get any ladies with me around you now are you?"
"Yea, okay. Most ladies like the big scorer."
"And I ain't?"
"Course not." Again, Nathan and Aaron laughed. "What time we leaving bro?"
"Nine. Meet in the front lobby, all right?"
"All right." Nathan and Aaron parted and Nathan went up to his dorm to shower and change to go out. Around nine, Nathan left his room and met up with Aaron and about fifteen more from the team. "Where we headed?"
"A friend of a friend's cousin's sister's ex-boyfriend's party. Supposed to be real fun."
"At least you know the people." Nathan smirked and they pilled into two vehicles and drove till they arrived at a small house shaking from the loudness of the music.
The host of the party was at the door, allowing people to come in. "Help yourself, the kegs in the bathtub."
Nathan and Aaron headed toward the bathroom and Aaron poured two cups of beer for him and Nathan. Nathan took a long drink and finished it right there in the bathroom. "I know there is a reason that I call you 'Big Time,' but I didn't think you were that fast with a beer."
"Just pour me some more." Nathan stuck out the hand that held his cup, and waited until Aaron poured him some more. Nathan took longer to drink it this time, but it wasn't too long until he was back getting some more.
Nathan lost count of how many he had in a short time span of a few hours, but he was feeling a lot better. He was laughing with his friends when a small blonde caught his eye.
She smiled sweetly at Nathan, and he smirked back at her. Aaron, having caught this exchange, looked at Nathan. "Damn, how do you always get the best looking ones?"
"That's why they call me 'Big Time.'" Nathan left his group and headed over toward the blonde and again smirked. "Hey."
"Hey."
"I saw that you were watching me."
"And here I was, thinking you were watching me."
"Guilty, I guess."
The blonde smiled again, less sweetly this time and grabbed his arm, leading him slowly up the stairs and pushed open a bedroom door.
- -end flashback- -
Haley moved on. She left me, went on an adventure without me and chased her dreams, with Chris Keller. She moved on. So why can't I?
- -flashback- -
The blonde led him up to a bedroom and pushed the door shut. She pushed him against the wall then pushed him onto the bed, sticking her tongue into his mouth. He opened his, inviting her, trying to forget everything else.
She pulled of his shirt swiftly, pulling him closer as he ripped off her own shirt and he unhooked her bra. A swift picture of Haley crossed his mind and he pushed her away.
"What? What's wrong?" She looked at him curiously and he could see the uncertainty on her face. She was nervous and Nathan realized that she wasn't used to this.
"Nothing. It's just I can't do this."
"Did I do something wrong?
"What? No, no, of course not." Nathan walked over to her handing her bra and shirt to her and she turned around and put them on. "It's just that I'm in love with someone else and I just couldn't do this."
"You have a girlfriend?"
"Not really. She was my wife, but we are kind of estranged. She left on tour about five months ago and I haven't talked to her since."
"So what's the problem? She left you." The blonde began to kiss his neck again and nibbled lightly at his ear. Nathan pushed her away.
"The problem is that I still love her. And no matter what, I know she still loves me and this feels like I'm cheating on her. So sorry, I'm leaving." Nathan began to leave.
"Fine then, be like her and just leave. If she left, she couldn't appreciate what she had, then she isn't worth the trouble. I say forget her, she isn't worth it."
Nathan turned to look at her. "You are just lucky you're a girl. If you weren't, you would be on the floor, pain every where on your body, wishing that I would just kill you. And you might have gotten your wish after what you said about my wife."
Nathan slammed the door behind him and ran down the stairs. Aaron found him and came up behind him, tapping him on the shoulder. "What's wrong man?"
"Did you set this up? That girl?" Aaron looked at Nathan confused. "I can't believe it, this isn't fair, I shouldn't be still hung up on her and should be able to move on but I can't." Nathan pause letting his eyes fill with tears. He turned back to Aaron. "I'm going home."
"Nathan—" Nathan pushed Aaron away and walked out of the house and onto the street. He didn't have a car but that didn't stop him. Nathan walked home in silence.
- -end flashback- -
Nathan pulled a large brown envelope out of his bag beside him and pulled out his annulment papers. He looked down at his signature on the top line, and then down at the signature of his wife.
I sent her the annulment letters, hoping that I was doing what was right. She wanted to be free again, to move on and follow her dreams, and so do I. But I can't. I love her too much.
He brought out a lighter in his pocket and lit the annulment papers, throwing them on the beach and watching as the sides began to burn and turn black.
"I still love you Haley."
It Only Hurts When I'm Breathing - Shania Twain
Awwww! Okay, I'm a hopeless romantic, but don't worry, I'm also a big fan of angst and tragedy, so this won't just be fluff. Anyways, I hope you like the update, if you did, didn't or have some suggestions, just press that little 'go; button at the bottom and make my day. I love your reviews.
Okay shout outs to my loyal readers from the WB boards, including Mose ForeverAndAlways14 and Kelsey who commented here, xSmile, who read my last story, and my new readers OTH.daddy'sgurl.06, and -T'bite me for reviewing. You guys make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside . . . lol. Please keep up the reviews. And all your questions will be answered soon I promised. As for pairings, I know what they are, you are going have to wait and see!
-Katie-