I'm not quite sure what day it is. I haven't been keeping track, and all of my muscles are sore from inactivity. I hadn't even thought that possible. Pabu is scurrying around, anxious from being held captive in here with me. I know he's dying to get out. He jumps up on my bed, nuzzling his snout against my nose.

"At least you love me, Pabu." The only creature that ever will. I suppose I'll become a crazy ferret man. And I'd name everyone after her.

Holy badgermoles of the Earth. I need to get up. It's daylight out, and I know that Mako has left already to train, or to trounce around with my love. My eyes are cemented shut, held in place with the crusty remnants of the past few days' soul-shattering sobs. I can see the capillaries in my eyelids illuminated by the thin light, dark red and webbing out. I've stopped imaging her face; it's the only way I can breathe. I rub the crust off, and swing my legs to the side of the bed. Upon standing up, blood rushes to my head and my eyes black out completely. I sway and sit back down.

Shit, I can't even get up. Maybe the universe is telling me something. No, it's not. Shut up, brain.

I grunt and stand up again, solid and steady as a boulder. That's what I have to do, solidify myself like the Earth. If only she knew. But I can't make her know, can I? She'll see what she wants, believe what she wants, and love whomever she wants. A.K.A. Not me. I grab a washcloth and bathe my face, my neck and arms, my chest. I dress myself and walk out into the small living room area. There's a blanket and some clothes spread on the chairs and floor. In the kitchen there aren't any groceries. I'm famished though. Pabu scrambles up my leg and perches on my shoulder, squeaking and ready to go. I walk out of the gym and half way down the street to my favorite little tea shop.

It smells absolutely wonderful in here. Rich and floral, with different tones of herbs and sweetness, and even the heavy scent of steam is comforting. The clinking of china and low murmur of chatter lull me into a daze as I pick at a pastry and sip some jasmine tea. The morning is bright, but still bleak. The sun is streaming through the window strong, but it does not cause anything to glare or shimmer or dazzle. It's shining bright and flat.

"Bolin! Oh, I'm so glad to see you. Please, may we talk?" No. Please no. You really can't be here. It's cruel. I haven't been able to force myself to hate you, and even if you think you know how I feel, you're way off.

Here comes the cheese. So natural and convincing. I consider myself an emotion bender more than an earth bender.

"Of course, Korra!" I say with a smile. She's confused, with that lovely furrow forming, but relieved that I'm "fine".

"I haven't seen you at the gym. Where've you been?"

"Oh around, you know. Just teaching Pabu a couple of tricks and trying to make some money downtown. I probably should get back to training, though."

She stares at me intensely, trying to see through the facade. I'm too experienced, and my cover is unbreakable. Her spirit is indomitable though, and she pushes further.

"Hey, about the other night, with Mako..." she begins.

"What about the other night?" I nail the confusion and innocence, "I was just a little shocked, and really tired, that's all. No worries."

Her eyebrows knit together tight and sharp, her full rosy red lips pout in bewilderment and her eyes tighten in annoyed disbelief. But then her entire gorgeous face smooths out, and a smile pulls at the corners of her lips.

"Oh, really? You're alright then? I just thought... And then Mako said... And well I wouldn't want... You're just such a good friend, I didn't want to lose you."

Cruel compassion. Enchantress, you've gotten me, so why do you continue to play your sick, twisted games? My heart is wrenching and shriveling with grief unfathomable. If you truly cared, you wouldn't be here. If you weren't here, I don't think I'd be either.

I laugh, light, but almost callously. I laugh as if what she were suggesting was the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. I laugh so that I don't cry, collapse, die. And in response, she smiles. Her eyes are wide, and twinkling like a mountain lake. They're the endless sky into which I could float into nothingness. They're the blue that comes in dreams and can never be recaptured in paint or word. These eyes, I am completely confident, could restore a dying man's last breath and cause him to give it up again.

And then I see it, tucked away so cleverly, but not enough. Deep red wool is peaking from her parka, and I know immediately what it is. My face, one instant smiling and reassuring, collapses free from the strain of falseness. I stare her dead in the eyes, eyes which suddenly seem alarmed.

"Bolin? Bolin, what is it?"

Gingerly, with painstaking slowness and self restraint, I reached across the table and lightly, ever so lightly I pull my mother's scarf from beneath her parka. Mako wears this scarf constantly, and never allows anyone to touch it, not even me. He washes it by hand and I have seen him watch it dry. There can only be two possibilities as to why this would be around her neck.

1. He's dead. As infuriated as I am, I don't necessarily blame or hate him, and I especially don't want to lose the only family I have left. If that were true though, why would she be wearing the scarf, and why wouldn't she have told me already? So...

2. She stole it. Here, I thought she was only capable of stealing hearts, an action which is completely unintentional. Purposeful theft though, I cannot believe sweet Korra would do.

Then there's a third option. I come to this realization slowly, and with enormous dismay. My eyes, green and firm bore into hers as the scarf lays limp in my hands. They are completely unveiled: it is only rage and betrayal I feel. I drop the scarf on the table and stalk out.

I've lost the two people I love the most. And they were lost together.

I didn't have a clear route in mind, but for some reason the seaport was calling to me. I jumped down off of the dock and stalked under it to the sand. At once I began practicing my sand bending. I'm not especially good, but I attack the activity with all of the energy of a lifetime.

I will build a tomb in this sand. I will bury myself here next to the deepest blue sea.