HK: Well y'all can thank kingbroseidon for this nice early update. We're meant to be working today, but since she's busy reading fan fiction (should never have sent her the link!) I have nothing better to do than post this. I could post something that people would, well, read, but what the hell! Also here we finally get to the part I was talking about earlier! Down at the bottom of this chappie is the scene that inspired me to write. Enjoy! Also! We're getting a little more of the ladies in this one. Don't get too mad at me about Loki's relationship with Sigyn, it will be explained in time!
Disclaimer: Freyr: (chilling in a lawn chair with a glass of lemonade) HK still isn't completely comfortable with having us do the usual stupid crap she has in these, so I got voluntold. Probably 'cause she thinks I'm a pimp. (waves his hands, sprinklers come on) What can I say, she's right. HK doesn't own anything. (sips his lemonade)
WARNINGS! More of Thor being Thor and Loki being Loki… mostly just harsh language and a little innuendo.
Important note! This happens after Hel and Jor have been banished, but before Fenrir was chained. As such, Thor doesn't have his hammer yet, Loki's lips haven't been sewn shut yet, and in general they can actually still be friends.
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The norns were not impressed.
"For the love of crap Loki!" There was a brief moment as the other two gave Skuld an odd look, but the norn of the future ignored them. "We told you not to cause trouble! Do you ever listen to a word I say?" Loki, still far too high on the amazingness of his bonfire, simply grinned.
"Occasionally." Skuld drew herself up, her fury making her look more like a Valkyrie than usual. Fortunately Odin stepped in quickly before Loki could get his ass cursed. He had almost gone a full month without a curse of some kind, which was something of a record for him. Be a shame to break it now.
"He will be dealt with. I shall find a fitting punishment for him." For a moment, it didn't seem like Skuld was going to agree. After all, the future was her domain, and Loki had basically just fucked it in the ass a little. Slowly a rather terrible smile crossed her face, and she calmed.
"No." Odin blinked, a little surprised by the outright refusal. Usually people treated him with respect. Apparently Skuld wasn't in the mood for manners though, and Odin wasn't about to bring it up while she was like this.
About once a month she got really aggressive, and long experience had taught Odin that it was better to back away slowly during those times. Loki hadn't spent enough time in the company of the norns to know that, however, and thus he wasn't running away.
He was a little surprised though when the normally composed Skuld gave him a vicious smile equal to one of his own. "I have a far better idea. Loki and Thor have retrieved our furniture. Thor failed to keep Loki from his usual chaos. Thus both will be punished." Thor shot Loki an utterly unimpressed glare. Loki ignored him.
Skuld pointed a long, gnarled finger at the two gods. "Together, you will be charged to construct and deliver the furniture you have purchased to every house in Asgard! And you can use no magic to assist you. I would suggest you hurry," she added with a dark smile as both gods started angrily, "you do not want to keep your fellows waiting." Loki glared at her indignantly, but Odin butted in before he could argue, smirking.
"I agree with the punishment as it stands. I recommend you start with the furniture for the norns, before moving on to mine." The Allfather swept away, leaving Thor to glare at Loki.
"You couldn't resist burning things." Loki glared right back.
"I didn't know this would happen!" Skuld rolled her eyes, going back to her own rooms and leaving her sisters to evict the two gods. Which they did quite quickly; after all, they were looking forward to having their furniture delivered.
XXXX
Sif had apparently gone to visit some of her own friends, taking the twins and Thrud with her so no one was home in Thrudheim. This made it far preferable to Loki's home, so the gods lugged the ridiculous tower of furniture into Thor's hall. In the largest room, they looked up at the monumental task before them. Loki sighed.
"It wouldn't be so bad if I could just use magic." Thor grunted an agreement.
"The only time when I would welcome your witchcraft, you are banned from using it. Typical." Loki scowled up at him.
"It isn't my fault." That got him a flat look.
"It is." Loki pulled out his best innocent face.
"How could any of this possibly be my fault?" And again, flat look.
"You set the Ikea on fire." The trickster paused, considering this. He shrugged, dropping the innocent act. Not much point really, Thor had kind of been there.
"Yeah, but I didn't know this would happen." Thor rolled his eyes, beginning to unload the slightly unstable stack.
"Would it have stopped you anyway?" Loki paused, giving Thor an appraising look. Thor had been getting sarcastic lately… not that long ago, Loki had been convinced that Thor had no idea what sarcasm was. A slightly sappy grin crossed the trickster's face. Thor was learning from him. And then he came back to his senses and pulled the long horrible list from his pocket.
"Probably not." He looked down the list, which thankfully was organized by who wanted what. "I guess we should get started." Thor nodded, frowning at the nearly identical boxes.
"What did Skuld want?" Loki gave him an incredulous look.
"Are we seriously doing her stuff first? It's her fault we're in this mess!" Thor gave him a flat look again. That's an expression that's getting a real work out today.
"Set fire to Ikea." In spite of himself, Loki grinned.
"Alright, fair point. But it was still her idea that we have to do this." Thor shrugged, deciding that lifting half the stack off at a time would work faster.
"Yes, but if she stops being angry with us, we may be able to visit the future of Midgard again." Loki nearly dropped the list as he stared at Thor in shock. It was entirely possible that he was losing his touch. Thor had had an idea that awesome before he had. Because Loki had quite enjoyed his visit to the future Earth. It was so nicely flammable, for one thing.
No longer objecting to the idea as plans for his next visit to Midgard replaced spite, he consulted the list.
"We should probably sort all of the boxes by person first… it'll save time in the long run," he explained as Thor grunted. No arguing with that though, so they spent the next few hours moving piles of boxes around Thor's living room.
Sif arrived back with the kids just as they had sorted out the last boxes, and though she was a little confused as to why her front room was full of boxes, she was too happy to worry.
"Thor! You took your shoes off!" At the abrupt arrival of his wife, Thor remembered why he had actually been so considerate (fucker) in the first place. Dropping the box containing a table almost on Loki rather than on the pile, he strode in the hall to sweep his wife into his arms and kiss her.
Magni, Modi and Thrud watched their parents for a moment, before going to explore the mound of boxes in their house. Loki watched a moment longer, as always slightly jealous of Sif. Not for the love and affection, he got plenty of that from his own wife on the rare occasion that he actually went home, but for the fact that Sif had Thor.
The thunder god was never tenderer than when he was with his wife. After a few minutes, Sif pulled away, looking flushed but happy. "What brought that on?" Thor beamed down at her as though she was the most wonderful thing he had ever seen in his life.
"I love you. You are the most beautiful woman in Asgard, and your taste in furniture is perfect." Sif still looked happy, but was now more than a little confused. Loki, on the other hand, almost knocked over a stack of boxes as he fell undaintily on his ass. The sofa. Thor had kissed Sif to within an inch of her life because he approved of the sofa.
Magni and Modi were watching the trickster curiously now, but Thrud had already decided that she was too grown up to be excited about mystery boxes or her parents kissing, and had gone to her room. While highly tempted to storm out and… he wasn't sure what, but it would definitely involve yelling at Thor, Loki instead turned his attention to the twins.
"What do you want?" Magni frowned.
"Why did you fall?"
"Because your father's an idiot." Modi puffed himself up angrily.
"He is not! Daddy's the smartest!" Even Magni looked dubiously at his brother at that one. Loki decided to take it as a joke, and laughed, ruffling the boy's hair.
"He's certainly something. So do you want to help Uncle Loki and your genius father build a whole lot of furniture?" Magni seemed to have noticed the sarcasm where Modi didn't, and Loki made a mental note of it. Magni appeared to have inherited his mother's brains rather than his father's. Have to keep an eye on that.
Modi, on the other hand, cheered up at having "successfully" defended his father's honour.
"Sure!" Unfortunately Sif chose just that moment to enter the sitting room, giving Loki a slightly wary smile. They had always gotten on well enough, but she still wasn't convinced that Loki was a particularly good influence on her husband, let alone her children.
"Sorry Loki, but the boys have to go and see Tyr for weapons training soon." Thor puffed himself up proudly, putting a hand on his wife's shoulder.
"Mighty warriors they're shaping up to be already! Tyr himself told me that he was impressed with their progress!" Loki resisted the urge to roll his eyes. The twins were barely four years old, but it was already obvious that they took after their father in strength.
The boys were thrilled by their father's compliment, running over to hug him. They were barely as tall as Thor's thigh, which did absolutely nothing to deter their enthusiasm as they almost knocked him over. Loki got to his feet, directing his smile at Sif as Thor wrestled with his boys.
"With Thor for a father, they will certainly be an asset to Asgard's defense. Maybe I should teach them some magic as well? It can't hurt to have brains as well as brawn." Sif looked a little unsure, but Thor's loud laugh prevented her from actually saying anything. She was actually having visions of what would happen if her boys somehow learned Loki's cunning along with his magic, and in all honesty Ragnarok seemed a better option. Fortunately Thor was boisterous enough to distract Loki's attention before she had to try and find a polite answer.
"You'll not corrupt my boys with your womanly arts, Loki! My sons are men, and they will need no trickery to aid them in battle!" Loki shot him a heated glare, fully willing to go into the age old debate again. Sif decided to head them off at the pass.
"Why are there so many strange packages in the sitting room Thor? Have you and Loki been down to Midgard already?" At first she wasn't sure they would let the subject change stick. Thor smiled suddenly, scooping Magni up over his shoulder and fending off Modi with one hand.
"Indeed. And we shall be assembling our bounty for you as soon as we have finished with Odin and the norns'." Sif tilted her head, a little confused.
"Are you assembling everyone's then?" Loki smiled a little bitterly at her.
"Yes, and without magic. Odin has decreed that we must."
"Loki could not resist spreading discord and mayhem," Thor confided with a wink. He dropped Magni, shooing the twins out of the room. "Go and prepare for your lessons with Tyr." He pulled Sif in for another kiss as she passed him before waving her away too.
Turning back to a still sullen Loki, he gave his friend a wide smile. "Cheer up my brother! I did not mean to insult you earlier; I merely do not want my sons to follow in your footsteps. Asgard would surely not survive another two like you." Somewhat mollified, Loki shrugged, glancing around at the boxes around him.
"Technically I am your father's brother." Thor clapped him on the shoulder as he passed on his way to Skuld's pile of deconstructed furniture.
"Be that as it may, I shall never think of you as anything other than my own kin. Now let us begin our task; if mortals can do it it surely cannot take us very long!" Yeah right Thor. Yeah right.
XXXX
Half an hour later:
"WHAT THE HEL IS A SCREWDRIVER!" Loki frowned reproachfully at Thor.
"There's no need to bring her into this." Thor paused, his frustration momentarily derailed.
"True. But still! What is this infernal device!" The trickster examined the diagram that had come with Skuld's end table.
"I don't know. Let's skip this one and hope none of the others need it." Tough luck boys. Every box they opened seemed to require a screwdriver as part of the instructions. Loki examined each and every screw in detail, trying to see if there was any way they could be persuaded to work with neither screwdriver nor magic. He was out of luck though.
From the pictures in the book and the design of the screws, their purpose was fairly self-evident. However, since the Aesir weren't exactly master craftsmen in the arts of carpentry or masonry, no such tool existed in Asgard.
It would be a simple matter for Loki to construct one by magic, but again, he was forbidden to use his talents until the task was completed. But the task couldn't be completed without that magic. Quite the conundrum.
Of course, it wasn't like Loki had ever been too bothered by rules in the past. Thor, on the other hand, laboured under the delusion that he was a good person, and therefore would not cheat. It seemed that only one other alternative was left to them; a trip down to Svartalfheim to see the black dwarves. They would almost definitely have the required tool. The only question was, could Loki be bothered to go?
The answer was definitely not, so whilst Thor wasn't looking, Loki transformed a handy stick into a screwdriver and presented it to his nephew. Thor, who was not very inquisitive by nature, accepted it readily and the work began.
Not being particularly huge fans of actually reading instructions, they managed to attach three of the four legs on a small end table backwards by the time Sif returned from dropping off the twins. The corn goddess took one look at them, Thor holding the table upside down whilst Loki puzzled over the wheels, only one of which had slipped neatly into a hole.
By some unerring womanly instinct for when the men have skipped that all important step (or maybe just by knowing these particular men), she immediately realised what the problem must be, even without any experience with Ikea.
Smiling fondly, she found the discarded instruction booklet and looked through it for a moment. Yes, she could see what the problem was now. The men hadn't seemed to notice her yet, still puzzling over what they had done wrong.
Trying to be as unobtrusive as possible because she knew how delicate the boys' egos could be, she tapped Loki gently on the shoulder and put the book into his hands. Still examining the table legs minutely, the trickster didn't even turn to acknowledge her.
Indeed, it took him a few moments to notice that he was now holding more than just the wheels. He didn't seem about to question how it got there, and in fact almost dropped it again. Sif was just wondering if she was just going to have to give in and actually tell the boys what they had done wrong when Loki seemed to decide that the directions were worth a brief flick through.
As he reached the part where he put the legs on the table he groaned, smacking himself in the forehead. Thor looked over, annoyed more than concerned at this point.
"What?" Loki groaned again, dropping the wheels.
"We put the bloody legs on the wrong way around." Thor roared in frustration, and seemed to be highly considering smashing the bloody table and starting again. Sif decided that it would be best for her to intervene now, and keep the boys from getting themselves into more trouble.
"I'm sure it won't take long to fix now that you know what's wrong." Loki gave her a baleful glare, not bothering with niceties at this point.
"It took us long enough to do it this way. How do the mortals manage!"
"Quite well apparently." Thor shot her a glare too for this one, but Sif had realised that her time was better spent doing… pretty much anything else. As much as she would enjoy sticking around to watch her husband doing something constructive for once, it was about time she went to visit Sigyn. Someone ought to tell the poor dear that Loki was actually back in Asgard.
Sif couldn't understand why she worried so much, especially after the scandal with the giantess came out. But for reasons known only to her, Sigyn adored her husband, and stood by him come what may. Leaving the men to bicker over how to fix the table, Sif left again.
XXXX
In the end, they didn't actually fix the table legs. Loki took a knife and gouged new holes into the bottom of each leg, slotting the wheels into those. The end result wasn't quite as stable as Ikea had intended, but, well, Skuld shouldn't have insisted on having her furniture done first when they weren't very good at it yet.
In a perfect world, the boys would learn from their mistake and begin to read the instructions. In a perfect world, they'd be women. Or at least sensible. But no, they were Thor and Loki, so they never bothered turning to the instructions.
Instead, Loki simply improvised his way around any mistakes with the help of his knife. If this made the furniture a little less durable than the original design, that was okay. Loki also placed runes upon most of it to prevent it from failing, and to keep it sturdy long after its intended time.
If Odin objected to the use of magic, Loki would simply not rune his stuff. Eventually, everything all three of the norns had requested was more or less finished and it was time to deliver. The furniture looked a lot more daunting when it was fully constructed.
Fortunately the carts were large enough to carry the sofas and tables, and Thor was easily strong enough to carry all the rest of the stuff by himself. He wasn't too impressed with the idea of being a pack horse again though.
"Why can you not carry some of this?" Loki rolled his eyes, tugging one of the carts through the large door.
"Because I'm not supposed to be using magic, if you don't recall." Thor huffed, shuffling a pair of padded arm chairs across his shoulders.
"I was thinking less of your magic and more of your muscles." Loki paused a short way down the street to stare incredulously at his friend. After a moment it seemed that Thor was serious. It was a little hard for Loki to find a response to this which didn't hurt his own pride. Finally he settled for,
"Because I did most of the work during the building, so it's only right that you do most of the work on the delivery." Thor grunted doubtfully, but didn't argue. They drew a lot of looks as they passed through the city to the passage down to the base of Yggdrasil, where the norns lived. Baldur paused on his walk to chat.
"So your journey to Midgard was successful?" Loki, who didn't like Baldur at the best of times and was still frustrated from putting together the furniture (it's not that hard if you actually read the instructions), nodded curtly.
"Yes." Thor gave Loki a minorly reproachful look. Manners were important.
"Indeed it was, my brother. And because Loki could not resist his usual antics, we shall be building and delivering it for you personally." Both of Baldur's golden brows raised at this, and he gave Loki a slightly patronising smile.
"Really? Well, I suppose if normal punishments aren't enough to make you learn, Loki, at least the rest of us will benefit." Loki gave him a sarcastic smile in return.
"Of course, we must focus on how everything impacts you, Baldur. It would be a shame if you had to do any work." The god of light's smile faded to a frown.
"Your temper is not usually so short, trickster. Surely you aren't having trouble with your task?" Thor opened his mouth to confess that yes, yes they were, but Loki slammed his hand across it.
"Of course not." Baldur smirked, reading the truth in the gesture.
"Good. I should hate to think that the tasks mortals find so easy were giving you any difficulty. Indeed, one might think that you didn't deserve your place among us… were that the case. I'll tell Nanna to be
expecting your delivery soon then?" He strolled on, leaving Loki to fume behind him. Still showing extraordinary presence of mind, Thor said nothing, waiting until Loki calmed enough to speak. Finally the trickster turned to face him, speaking through gritted teeth.
"We do his last." Thor didn't argue.
XXXX
Skuld was still off in her own room, so it was Urd, the norn of the past, who let them in. She looked the furniture over critically, then shrugged.
"It's good enough. Would you mind setting it up for us as well?" Loki opened his mouth to swear at her, but now it was his time to be silenced rather abruptly. Thor gave Urd a wide, if rather fake smile.
"Gladly, my lady. If you would direct us?" As soon as his mouth was free again, Loki began to mutter angrily under his breath, ignoring even Thor's warning glares to stop. Fortunately Urd thought of Loki the most kindly of the three sisters, and was willing to let his temper slide as long as she got her comfy chair.
She even went as far as to offer them refreshments before they set out again, but while Thor wanted to accept, Loki cut her off bluntly.
"We have far too much more to do to waste any more time here." The limits of Urd's patience were now being tested, and her smile turned sharp.
"You should control your temper better Loki, lest it get you into more trouble. My sister is not the only one capable of wrath." Forced despite himself to admit that his temper wasn't Urd's fault, Loki grudgingly apologised. Almost at once her smile sweetened again, and she placed a cookie in each of their hands. "I accept your apology. And you have my thanks for your assistance." Loki grunted gruffly, looking at the cookie rather than at the woman.
"Don't thank me, I didn't do it because I wanted to." The old woman smiled, patting Loki's cheek in a grandmotherly fashion.
"I'll thank you anyway Loki if I want to. It's one of the perks of age, I do what I want. When you boys are done come and find me again and I will talk to my sister about letting you visit the future again." Both Thor and Loki looked surprised at this, and she chuckled. "Your conversation happened hours ago, that puts it in my domain. Eat your cookies, boys, and do try to cheer up. Young Baldur can be arrogant at times, but he means no harm. If he gets to you too much Loki, just remember that he came quite close to losing the battle for his wife against his blind brother Hod." In spite of himself, Loki smiled.
"Even after seeing your sister's temper, it seems to me that you're the most dangerous one to cross, dear Urd." The norn chuckled, settling herself comfortably into her new comfortable chair.
"You're quite the flatterer, Loki, but you may be right. Everyone has something in their past that they would not wish the world to know, and I of course know all that has occurred." Loki moved closer, the gleam of mischief lighting in his eyes.
"It seems that only a fool would cross you, Lady Urd."
"A fool… or a trickster," she replied with a sly smile. "Now either come and sit with me a while or return to your duties. It will be Verdandi's turn to come in and rest soon, and Skuld will be heading out to water Yggdrasil from my well. She cannot argue if you are my guests, but she is not best pleased with you now trickster." Again, Thor decided to let Loki make the decision, mostly because he didn't want to get smacked across the mouth again.
He was becoming impatient with the talk though, as he didn't bother to understand it. He had already finished his cookie, and was eying Loki's covetously. The trickster didn't appear to have noticed, as he was still engaged in his conversation. His temper was as changeable as his form, and already he was almost cheerful.
"As much as I'd love to stay and bandy words with a beautiful and intelligent lady such as yourself, I'm afraid Odin will be less patient and understanding. But can I perhaps visit you another day?" Urd chuckled again, shaking her head.
"Don't think I don't know what you're doing, my dear trickster." Loki looked slightly guilty, but tried for his charming smile anyway. This made Urd flat out laugh. "Don't think I object, either. I have no problem with being flattered by good looking young men such as yourself." Laughing in spite of himself, Loki bent to kiss her hand.
"Then I shall see you again soon, I hope." Urd smiled up at him, waving a hand in the direction of the door.
"Get out of here then, young troublemaker." Giving her a low bow, Loki allowed Thor to pass through the door before him, back onto the path back to Asgard. Actually humming in his new found good mood, Loki paused half way up the World Tree to glance at Thor.
"You were oddly silent during our visit to Urd." Thor shrugged, partially glad that Loki's mood was better, mostly wondering if Loki was ever going to eat that damn cookie or if he could have it.
"I know of old that words are the only medium in which you will always defeat me. I know better than to tempt your tongue when you're in a bad mood." A little surprised at the compliment, Loki bestowed a dazzling smile on his friend.
"Well my mood is far from bad now. I could probably even tackle more of those bloody Ikea boxes without complaint." Thor grunted noncommittally, his mood not as boosted.
"A good thing too, as we don't have a choice." The trickster shrugged happily, pushing aside the entrance into Asgard and stepping out into the city.
"But as I feel now, I may even enjoy it. It is certainly different to build something." Thor half smiled in spite of himself.
"For you perhaps." Loki chuckled, turning to face his friend and walking backwards down the street.
"Admit it Thor, you rarely do anything constructive either. Breaking things is more both of our styles." Thor nodded a gruff agreement, spotting something over Loki's shoulder that could lead to even more trouble than Baldur.
"Loki?" The trickster flinched a little spinning around to greet his wife.
"Sigyn. Sorry I didn't come straight home to see you." Sif walked over to join them as well, smiling at Thor as she approached. She glanced at Loki with badly disguised distaste as he practically held his bride at arm's length, not quite looking at her as he spoke.
Sigyn, being eternally patient where Loki was concerned, didn't seem to mind. Indeed, she seemed almost ridiculously pleased to have her distant husband back.
"It's alright. How was your journey?" Loki shrugged, still not looking at her.
"Not bad. We got everything we were sent for… and some other stuff too. We have to build everyone's stuff for them, so I won't be home for a while." Sigyn nodded, still smiling widely.
"Sif told me. Would you like any help?" Loki shook his head quickly, meeting her eyes for the first time.
"No, we'll be fine. We have to finish Odin and Sif's furniture first, but I promise we'll do our stuff next, alright? Before anyone else's." His wife sighed happily, brushing a few strands of hair back off her face.
"I don't care about that Loki, you know I don't. I'm just glad that I get the chance to see you." On a lesser, or possibly greater man than Loki, you would be seeing some guilt right about now for flirting with a norn not even twenty minutes ago. Not so on Loki the polygamist. He just nodded quickly.
"Right. Well… we have a lot to do, and I'm sure you ladies are busy too?" She nodded back, smile fading a little.
"Yes… we were going to go shopping." A slight smile crossed Loki's face, with a tenderness in it that might just have redeemed him a little to Sif… had she not been busy talking with her own husband about some new clothes she had bought.
"Good. You deserve something nice. And Sigyn…" he glanced around, as if making sure there were no witnesses (there weren't), before quickly leaning in and pressing a gentle kiss to her lips. "I'll be back with you and the boys soon. I have a surprise for you."
Sigyn lit up like a Christmas tree at the rare display of public affection (she didn't notice the lack of witnesses). Almost ashamed to have made his wife so happy, Loki grabbed Thor's arm and attempted to tow the thunder god back toward Thrudheim.
He wasn't all that successful, but Sif got the hint and began to lead the glowing Sigyn away. "We'll see you ladies soon!" Sif huffed, wrapping an arm around Sigyn's shoulders as they returned to the market.
"I'm sure. I don't know why you put up with him Sig… if Thor ever treated me like that… I mean, Loki's such a womanizer!" Sigyn frowned, ever ready to defend her husband.
"I know that Magni and Modi aren't your sons." Sif flushed a little, frowning.
"Yes, but I love them as my sons and Thor swore that the giantess meant nothing to him!"
"As Loki has sworn to me."
"Well… it isn't just women! Your husband lies with men too. He's gotten himself pregnant Sig!" Sigyn gave her friend a slightly frosty gaze.
"And he's a more compassionate father for it. Unlike your Thor, he actually understands the pain I went through in child birth. He doesn't belittle it. And I don't care how many men or women,"
"Or horses," Sif added under her breath,
"he touches, just so long as his heart always belongs to me." Sif sighed, giving her friend a quick hug.
"I wouldn't count on that too much Sigyn, that's all I'm saying. I just don't want to see you hurt." Sigyn gave her a heart rending smile.
"You're a good friend Sif, but Loki would never hurt me."
XXXX
Having already had some experience in these matters, Loki and Thor found that Odin's set of furniture went a lot quicker. Indeed, since Loki was in a good mood, even Thor found it almost enjoyable. There was a certain something to be said for building things rather than breaking them.
Of course, everything seems much better without constant bitching. They ran into several more of their fellows on their way to deliver the furniture, all of whom had apparently heard about their predicament, and all of whom wanted to know when their furniture was going to get finished.
Thor tended to stay out of these discussions, knowing that now Loki's complaints were good natured, and more of a joke than anything. Still, Thor had less patience than the trickster for conversation about bland topics, or indeed conversation in general, so while Loki talked Thor let his attention drift.
Only when Loki paused to chat with Freyr for almost twenty minutes (something to do with how much Freyr would enjoy the future Midgard, now that it was warm enough for women to show skin) did he get bored enough to interrupt.
"Loki. Either carry these chairs or hurry up." Loki and Freyr exchanged looks, then Freyr chuckled, waving a hand.
"I'll have to come with you on your next journey, Loki. But I'll let you get on now, before Thor grows too tired." Loki nodded, smiling widely.
"I'll look forward to it." Thor privately decided to skip this trip, as he had no wish to sit around watching as Freyr and Loki seduced various women (and occasionally men) of Midgard.
Thor had hoped that the apparent relish Freyr took in his marriage would curb his overtly sexual nature, but apparently not. Freyr had left his wife maybe twenty minutes ago, and already he was planning another whoring expedition with Loki. That's probably inevitable really, Freyr being a fertility god and all.
Thor knew his disapproval wouldn't exactly stop the pair, so he remained silent for the rest of the way to Gladsheim, despite Loki's attempts to draw him into conversation. Like Urd, Odin had them place the furniture the way he wanted it before allowing them to leave. However, he also told them that they would not be required to do the same for the rest of the Aesir unless they wanted to. Like hell either of them were going to volunteer for that… well, except for their wives.
Sif's furniture took less time than Odin's, now that the boys were getting really good at it. Of course, organizing it to the goddess' satisfaction took significantly longer. Sif was just returning from her day out with Sigyn, arms full of shopping as the boys finished setting up. She took one look around the house, and groaned.
"Thor, you cannot put a sofa at the dining room table." Thor glanced down at the shiny brown sofa (the one he really liked), then back at his wife.
"Why not?" Loki snickered, then contrived to look as innocent as possible when the couple snapped around to look at him. Sif shook her head, returning her attention to her husband. This was going to be quite awkward enough without Loki's interference. It always was when she put her foot down.
"Because it is a dining room. You'll only spill food all over the sofa and ruin it." Thor frowned, not liking that Sif was telling him off in front of his friend. It didn't help that she was completely right, or that the friend was Loki, who could be counted on to tell anyone who was likely to be amused by it.
"It will survive. Besides, I would rather eat in comfort." Sif folded her arms, giving her husband a sceptical look.
"Would you rather not be comfortable when you return home from your quests and go to sit in front of the fire with the children and I?" Humming a cheerful tune, utterly aware that he was only making matters worse, Loki leaned against the table and inspected his nails.
Something in the way that Thor glanced at the sitting room before answering her caught Sif's attention. "What kind of furniture DID you put in the sitting room, Thor?" Thor looked at the ground, shame faced, and Sif turned, striding down the hall to open the doors and look for herself.
She stormed back a lot quicker than she had left, her face almost as thunderous as Thor's was wont to be. Her voice, in contrast, was deadly calm. "Why is the sitting room empty of all but crates?" Thor shuffled his feet, a grown man reduced to a child.
"There isn't much room in there…" Sif's voice now became deceptively sweet.
"And how about when you remove the boxes? What are we to do then, Thor? Would you have us sit on the floor?" The thunder god still wasn't looking at her, and seemed more sheepish than anyone Loki had ever seen.
"No…" The corn goddess advanced, now poking him in the chest.
"Do you know what you're going to do?" Thor glanced up in a panic, looking across at Loki for help. The trickster grinned like he had been given a pair of strippers wrestling in a tub of jello and said nothing. Given no other alternative, he looked at his wife. His normally loud voice was reduced to almost a whisper.
"No?" Sif's smile widened, almost as wide as Loki's but not quite.
"You are going to take that couch and put it in the sitting room. You're going to have to move some boxes around, but you're going to do that so that you have somewhere to sit while you build the rest of the furniture. Do you understand?" Thor nodded mutely, picking up the couch and carrying it through to the other room.
Sif and Loki followed, carefully avoiding each other's gaze. Loki because he didn't want to burst out laughing, Sif because she didn't want to see the look on his face. Not many people had ever seen her more aggressive side. But then, she wasn't married to a thunder god for nothing.
Thor was waiting in the sitting room, having placed the sofa a few feet away from the fireplace and cleared a space for it. He was still looking at the ground, having decided that it was better if he didn't look at either of them. Sif smiled, walking over and placing a gentle kiss on his cheek. "Thank you. I'm going to go and get the twins, would you like to come?" Loki dropped in before Thor could say yes.
"We have to do Sigyn's furniture, and we really do have too much stuff to put together." Sif looked surprised but happy to see Loki actually thinking of his wife.
"Are you sure you can't take a break?" Loki shrugged, smiling a little sheepishly.
"Probably not." Thor sighed, turning to Sigyn and Loki's stack of boxes. He had been hoping to get a short break and see his sons, but they probably really didn't have time. It had taken them six hours to get to this point, and although no one had actually said it, it was sort of generally agreed that they weren't supposed to stop until they were done.
Sif sighed, then smiled and nodded.
"Okay. I suppose I'll see you later then?" Thor nodded, not resisting as she gave him another kiss and avoiding Loki's gaze. There was a moment of awkward silence after Sif had left. Loki was still grinning all over his face, and Thor was determinedly avoiding his gaze.
Finally Thor gave Loki a challenging glare.
"We should get started." Loki honestly tried, but he really couldn't stop smiling.
"Okay. You know Thor, I never realised you were so W-H-I-P-P-E-D." Thor gave him a wary frown, bending to pick up a hammer.
"What are you talking about?" Loki grinned wider, dancing on the balls of his feet and edging towards the door.
"You, my dear friend, are completely whipped." Thor turned, throwing the hammer in the same movement and Loki let out a bark of laughter, turning and fleeing through the house. Partly pleased that he would be getting a brief reprise from the furniture related chores, even if it was just to hunt down and beat Loki rather than see his sons, Thor gave chase. Loki would soon see who was whipped!
What Thor didn't realise was that Loki would thoroughly enjoy the entire affair, from the chase to the beating, and was quite looking forward to a little rough handling. It made the chase all the sweeter.
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If Thor had been awkward in the presence in his wife, it was nothing to how Loki felt while they were outfitting his own home. Sigyn insisted on getting Vali and Narvi to help them, and while both boys would have preferred to be doing something else, they didn't want to disappoint their mother.
Loki did his best to avoid Sigyn whenever Thor was in the room, but once Thor caught them sitting side by side in silence. It was quite possibly the only time he had ever seen Loki peaceful as he sat there with his arm around his wife.
Loki's short attention span was notorious though, and by the time they left he was bored again. He needed something else to do. So his attitude started to sour again. By the time they were delivering Freya's furniture, he was bitching worse than before.
He started to complain to the goddess herself, and Freya gave him a sarcastic smile.
"A single tear drops down my cheek." Then she slammed the door in his face. That didn't bother Loki, as when he was in a mood things only served to fuel his fire. It certainly didn't decrease the amount of bitching.
Nothing seemed to, not even a visit to Freyr to tease him about his new wife. That is, nothing until they had delivered the furniture to Tyr. The war god hadn't looked kindly on Loki ever since he had become the only person allowed (and therefore was charged) to take care of Fenrir (Loki was forbidden to see his son, so he couldn't do it himself), and responded curtly to Loki's opening complaint about how much this sucked.
"Close your mouth Loki, or put it to work on my cock." Far from shutting up, Loki actually paused, looking Tyr up and down thoughtfully.
"If I do will you finish off the furniture for me?" Tyr was caught completely off guard, taking a step back.
"No!" Thor, equally startled by Loki's reaction, stared in shock at his companion as the trickster shrugged, turning and walking away.
"Fair enough." The two As leaned in to watch him as he left, and Thor glanced at Tyr. He was slightly disturbed by what he saw.
"You're actually thinking about it now, aren't you?" Tyr was unable to lift his eyes from the sway of Loki's hips (which usually weren't half so interesting… work that ass Loki!) to even glance at his comrade.
"… Yes." Thor gave him a slightly disgusted look before remembering that he had to go help Loki with the rest of the furniture building. If only the world would stop giving him cause to think about what the trickster was like in bed (fat chance Thor).
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It was late at night by the time Thor pushed open the door to Thrudheim, their task barely half complete. Neither god had really realised just how numerous their colleagues were until today, and even bold Thor was utterly exhausted.
The thunder god didn't even glance at all the piles left to go, just shed his coat, walked as far as the arm of the couch and passed out over it, asleep before he hit the cushions. Loki followed, only slightly more awake than Thor.
Seeing as how the entire sofa was covered by Thor's muscular form, the trickster shrugged, moving around to the back of the sofa. Sitting up on the back cushion, he let himself fall back until he was lying across Thor's ass, his long red hair spilling from his upside down head and onto the floor.
Thor grunted, but didn't object. He couldn't be asked to get a blanket, so Loki's body heat was a welcome addition. Before long both gods drifted into unconsciousness, neither of them noticing the shadowy figure that watched from the doorway.
Sif was unable to keep an indulgent smile from her lips as she went and fetched a blanket for them, laying it out across their bodies and pulling it carefully back from Loki's face. The trickster's brow crumpled, but he didn't stir. Thor was already starting to snore. Seeing that all was well, Sif returned to her own bed for the rest of the night.
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HK: Well, I hope you enjoyed it! Hell, I hope anyone even reads it. But either way, I'll keep posting it. :P Spam up them internets. Leave me a review to let me know you exist and it'll happen a lot faster! Oh, and one very important note; would anyone object to actual explicit ThorXLoki smut? Because I've just not decided whether or not I'm writing that yet… Drop me a line and let me know!