Iruka sighed and slung his book bag over his other shoulder, trying to even out the strain. His classes had been rough today; they were getting towards finals, and all of the professors were determined to make sure no one failed their class. Iruka had four advanced-level classes and another two normal ones; his workload had increased almost fourfold per class.
He sighed. The headache that had been lingering since that night abruptly spiked into full-blown pain. Iruka sighed and closed his eyes, leaning on the wall and trying to force the pain back to its previous level.
He hadn't spoken to Mizuki in three days. He'd been avoiding him; Iruka was still thinking about what had happened, and what Kakashi had said, and Mizuki. He couldn't make up his mind. On one hand-what Mizuki had made him do, what he'd allowed to happen, was horrible. Iruka was ashamed whenever he thought of it; ashamed and degraded and he just felt…dirty. Used. On the other…on the other hand, Mizuki loved him. He'd said it, he'd proven it. Mizuki was the only thing Iruka had in the entire world, and the thought of loosing him twisted Iruka's heart and made it hard to breathe. Mizuki had been there for over eight years, supporting him, making him laugh, loving him…
He didn't understand what was happening with Mizuki. He didn't understand the rage, the black moods, the higher and higher level of controlling behavior Mizuki was showing. He'd started hurting Iruka, making him bleed, and it seemed to make Mizuki more excited. More than once, he'd fucked Iruka so hard that he'd had trouble walking the next day, sometimes taking him without prep or lube, and Iruka knew, deep down in his heart, that it was becoming more rape than anything else, because Iruka cringed whenever Mizuki touched him now. It hurt so bad, tore Iruka up inside…
I have to leave him, Iruka thought, misery making his shoulders tighten and his headache spiked abruptly. I can't…I can't let him do that to me anymore. That night, those men…that was rape and Mizuki not only let it happen, but he encouraged it and participated in it. Willing rape, at first, but rape never the less. If he loved me…if he really loved me, he'd never have done that to me…
"Iruka?" Iruka jerked; he'd been so deep in thought he hadn't noticed the other until it was too late. Mizuki, his black eyes mournful, was blocking his path. Iruka took a step back, his breath hitching, and Mizuki stepped towards him, holding his hand out. "Iruka, I was so worried about you…" Mizuki said, his voice thick with concern. "Where did you go? What happened?"
"If you were so worried, why didn't you come and check on me?" Iruka asked, surprised at the anger that rose in him. "I was home, recuperating. It took me two days to be able to walk without pain…"
"I'm sorry. I know it was a little rough, but you were so good…my friends really enjoyed themselves." Mizuki said, smiling. Iruka stared at him; Mizuki seemed completely obvious to the anger in Iruka's body, or the disgust on his face. "Next time, I'll make sure everyone's a little more considerate…"
"There won't be a next time." Iruka spat. Mizuki froze, staring at him like he'd grown another head and Iruka snapped. "I'm leaving you. I never want to see you again, Mizuki. I'm done. I'm tired of being slapped, raped and cut, of hurting and crying and being…used. I'm done."
"You're…you can't…" Mizuki said, his eyes wide with astonishment. "Iruka, you can't leave me…"
"I'm doing it right now." Iruka said, trying to push past the other man. "Goodbye, Mizuki…"
Iruka managed to get past Mizuki, but he was suddenly slammed forward, his face hitting the wall hard enough to leave him dazed. He felt Mizuki spin him around and slam him into the wall; Mizuki had always been strong, but where was this…insane…strength coming from, Iruka thought dazedly. What was this…
"You can't leave me." Mizuki repeated, his voice ugly and low. "No one leaves me, Iruka. You belong to me, and you better learn your place." He slammed Iruka into the wall gain. Iruka grabbed his hands, trying to free himself, but Mizuki's grip was too strong. Mizuki let go of his shoulders and wrapped his fingers around Iruka's throat, tightening his grip. Iruka felt the air being choked from him and frantically scrabbled at his fingers, his eyes bulging in his head. He kicked, but Mizuki ignored his blows like they were nothing and slammed Iruka back again, his hands tightening again.
"You can't leave me." Mizuki said again, his face contorted with rage. "You can't leave me…" Iruka felt his vision starting to fade and gasped breathlessly, his body jerking. He slid into the darkness, tears streaming down his face.
…
When he woke, he was laying in Mizuki's room at his house, staring at the ceiling. He couldn't breathe, and it felt like his body was made of lead. Licking his lips, he turned his head, wincing at the effort, and stiffened to find Mizuki sitting on the bed, stroking his hair.
"Ruka." Mizuki crooned, his voice gentle. "You finally woke up. Scared me a bit there. I was afraid you'd done permanent harm."
Iruka cringed, trying to roll away, but Mizuki kept him firmly pushed down. "Poor Iruka. I'm sorry. But you should know better than to say things that upset me so badly. I lost my temper, didn't I? But no harm done. You're fine." He smiled and patted Iruka's head, then stretched out over him, placing gentle kisses on the corners of Iruka's lips. Iruka tried to push him away, but his body wasn't obeying him very well, and all he could manage to do was push feebly at Mizuki's body. Mizuki laughed and kissed him again, then Iruka felt fingers pushing into him.
"N..no…" he gasped, shaking his head. "No…please, Mizuki…" he croaked. Mizuki's face was marred by a fleeting frown, but he smoothed it out and smiled again. Iruka felt Mizuki's fingers sliding in and out of his body and he whimpered, tears slipping down his face again. He wanted to fight, he wanted to push Mizuki off and run away, but he could only lay there and let Mizuki molest him. Shortly, Mizuki removed his fingers and pulled Iruka down the bed, thrusting his cock into Iruka's ass. He didn't use lube; Iruka cried out weakly, his back arching in pain. Mizuki laughed softly and began to thrust, moaning in pleasure. Iruka could only writhe, tears of rage, shame and agony pouring down his face. Finally, Mizuki finished off, the hot cum stinging Iruka's ass. Pulling out, Mizuki bent and kissed the tears from his face, then patted his cheek.
"Don't worry, Iruka. I'll take care of you." Mizuki burbled. "We're a team. Oh…you need to rest. I've got a couple of friends coming over tonight; I expect you to be…good…to them, ok?"
Iruka sobbed and Mizuki sighed, shaking his head. "Sleep, Iruka. Everything'll be better once you've had some sleep." He pulled the blankets over Iruka's body and left the room, humming to himself. Iruka closed his eyes, letting himself fall into the darkness.
…
Iruka woke to voices; he identified Mizuki, after a moment, and at least two other people. Mizuki's got company over, he thought fuzzily.
Suddenly he sat up, gasping. The movement made him dizzy; his hands flew to his throat, touching the bruised and puffy flesh with a wince. Mizuki's got company…
I've got a couple o f friends coming over tonight; I expect you to be good to them, ok?
Iruka almost fell out of bed, his body trembling. He couldn't. He couldn't stay there. He couldn't let it happen again. Nearly blind, he grabbed the first pieces of clothing that his hands touched and pulled them on. Ignoring that he was barefoot, he painfully raised himself out of the window and almost fell; the tree was slippery, and he was dizzier than he'd thought. Grimly, he let himself down to the street and staggered away from Mizuki's house. He kept going, his vision fading in and out. He finally managed to get to Kakashi's house. Approaching the door, he knocked, his body trembling. He'd helped him once; would Kakashi help him again?
There was no answer. Feeling close to panicking, he knocked again.
"He's not here, dearie." A quavering voice spoke behind him. Iruka nearly died; his heart was hammering in his chest. He turned to find an ancient old woman standing behind him, clutching a basket. "He left yesterday; he always leaves me a sign when he leaves, so I know to water his plant for him. Are you a friend of his?"
Iruka fought to think of a way to answer that. He wasn't, really, but finally, he croaked "Yes…"
The old woman smiled. She was obviously near-sighted; she didn't seem to notice that Iruka was barefoot, or the bruises on his neck. "Oh, good. He never has friends come over. I was starting to think he didn't have any. But you'll have to come back-there's no telling when he'll be back. When the team's not in season or training, he disappears for days, sometimes a week at a time."
Iruka licked his lips, feeling his heart plummeting to his feet. He couldn't go back, and he was afraid to try to hide anyplace else. "O…ok." he said finally. "Th..thank you."
The old lady smiled and pushed past Iruka. Iruka watched her numbly, his body shaking, then turned and walked around the corner. Once he was out of sight, he collapsed, sobbing, He cried until he was sick; he felt hollow and empty.
A sound made him look up and shrink into the wall. It was just the old lady, leaving Kakashi's house. Iruka watched her dully, then stood up. He had to hide, and Kakashi wasn't home, but…
He tried the front door and was distantly surprised to find it open. Pushing it open, he stumbled inside, then walked to the bedroom. The bed looked invitingly cool and peaceful. Closing his eyes, Iruka fell into it, hugging a pillow to his chest and crying himself to sleep.