Dec 8, 2018 A/N:
Just added the update for this massaged chapter :)
Lady p.
-ooOooOooOoo-
Three words. How can three little words stir so much anxiety in the wolf? So much trepidation? So much hope?
Wait for me.
Stunned and a little terrified at the miko's whispered command, Kouga had used all his stealth to move silently through the underbrush, moving further downwind from the little camp, while making sure it was an obvious path for Kagome to follow in the dark. It had been to the small clearing at the edge of the forest that the wolf had finally stopped. Soft grass grows on the small hill rise, covered with little flowers of bluebells and cat's eye's peeking through the thick vegetation, and overlooking the dark sprawling land below. The crescent waning moon illuminates the land in a soft ethereal glow.
Wait for me.
It was how she had said it that had taken Kouga back. The usually feisty and volatile miko had no trouble showing and expressing her emotions, but her tone had been cool, neutral, detached. What could she possibly be thinking? Was she angry with him that he'd been spying? Pleased that he'd cared enough to seek her out?
The soft padding of feet stirs Kouga from his thoughts and sets the wolf's heart thundering in his chest like a herd of gazelle running at break neck speed. The scent of lavender and honey on the cool night breeze sends the wolf's blood humming as Kagome steps out of the forests edge and into the glow of the hillside. Sitting with his back to her, not entirely sure what to say, Kouga does what the stupid mutt never seems capable of doing. He sits quietly, like she's a deer emerging from the forest, any startled movements and she'll bolt.
Kagome bites her lower lip, not entirely sure why she's out here. Okay, maybe that's not entirely true. But she doesn't understand why she's out here. It hadn't been the first time that she had sensed the wolf's twin shards late in the night, wondering if he often forgot that she could sense them because he would never approach her. Simply hang somewhere deep in the brush of the forest where InuYasha couldn't smell or detect him, and he would just sit there. She was sure of it. Never did his shards move in the night where she sensed him watching, listening, until he was ready to leave. Usually, just after all the others fell asleep, she would suddenly sense the tingling cool energy of the shards get weaker and weaker until the wolf was gone.
Why now? Why tonight? Why did she betray herself and let him know that she knew he was there? Was it the story? She'd read many of the fairytales from her era to the little kitsune, knows for a fact the wolf has heard some of them too. Was it what she had said to Shippou about happy endings and overcoming obstacles? Kagome knows she's far too old to believe in fairy tales, but it's hard not to believe when you're surrounded by legends and fables every day, battling in adventures that no one in her era would ever believe.
Kagome shakes her head. Watching the wolf carefully, she breaks through the forests edge. Her heart beats quickly but steady as she makes out the strong outline of Kouga's body against the soft light, legs stretched out before him and crossed at the ankles, dark ponytail falling behind him. Kagome had always known the wolf was handsome, you'd have to be blind and undead not to see it, but lately there's something in the way he looks at her when they meet on the road, among all her companions under the bright light of day. A look that hadn't ever been there before . . . something missing . . . something that stirs a dull ache in her heart, something that feels strangely familiar to her somehow; something that speaks of loneliness.
Is that what's compelled her out here? Maybe she just needs to know. Needs to know what that look in his eye is, and why it breaks her heart? Needs to understand why he keeps coming back despite how often she's pushed him away and told him no. Why does he still fight for her? Battle for her, and protect her, like any knight or prince in her stories?
Something in the thought swirls a warm, fuzzy sensation in Kagome's stomach. Chewing her bottom lip thoughtfully she can't help but gaze at him. Has he always been so beautiful? Even with the low light she can see the outline of muscles tensing and flexing as Kouga leans back on his arms, waiting. Waiting for her because she had asked him too.
Gods he's going to go crazy if she doesn't say something soon! But Kouga maintains his calm demeanor, if she was angry with him surely she would already be tearing into him, wouldn't she? Would have already purified his ass to Kingdom come? The soft grass crunching under foot behind him as she finally moves closer makes Kouga inhale sharply. What the hell is his problem?! Acting like some startled fucking rabbit! Kagome's right behind him now, the heat from her legs is practically burning against his arm and he has to fight from jerking, to keep from reaching up and pulling the miko roughly into his lap, where he knows his beautiful woman belongs, and kissing her senseless.
"Kouga," her voice is soft, quiet when she speaks. Pleased when he finally turns to look at her, surprised that he hasn't already, and then she sees it – the insecurity raging in the wolf's electric blue eyes.
"Kagome . . . I . . ." Kouga takes a thick swallow.
Sitting next to him, she folds her legs to the side, watching as Kouga's gaze follows her, still stuttering as the usually confident wolf attempts to form coherent words.
"I uh . . . I was just . . . w-when . . . I . . ."
Kagome laughs, surprising the wolf who grins sheepishly. He's never lied to her before, why start now?
"How'd ya know?" staring into his woman's amused gaze he no longer fears her reprisal.
"Kouga," Kagome smirks, "you've always seemed very intelligent to me." At this, a wide grin spreads across the wolf's face making Kagome giggle.
"Intelligent, if not perhaps a bit too cocky and over-confident," she mock glares, raising an eyebrow at him, and the wolf has the decency to blush.
"But, a good cocky right?" Kouga grins, revealing a flash of fangs, enjoying the light sweet conversation between them. The stupid mutt is usually around ruining any such moments they might have together.
Kagome crosses her arms playfully across her chest, narrowing her eyes on the charming wolf. "Hmmm . . . don't know, I think it might be the cocky that keeps getting in his way."
Kouga's eyes widen at Kagome's honest and direct statement, despite referring to him in the third person, noticing the flush to her cheeks as she says it. Is . . . is she really hinting that he might actually have some kind of chance with her? Kouga's youkai rumbles hungrily at the back of his mind at the thought, a rush of something he hasn't felt for a long time sparks to life in the wolf's heart, lighting up his eyes.
Kagome has to fight back the wave of flutters that erupt in her belly at the glow that suddenly fills Kouga's gaze as he looks at her. A spark she hasn't seen in a long time. Why does it make her so happy to see it there?
"And if he were a little bit smarter," Kagome winks, nodding in his direction, "he'd remember that this miko," she points to herself, "can always sense his jewel shards," pointing to Kouga's outstretched legs.
Kouga lets out a painful groan as he smacks a large hand to his forehead, sliding it down his face in an attempt to conceal his flaring embarrassment at his own forgetfulness. Kagome laughs harder.
"Why do I keep forgetting that?" Kouga shakes his head, laughing to himself. Looks like he's been busted – hard.
It's the vague scent of tears that shocks Kouga to his core as his head spins in Kagome's direction, watching as water wells up in the corner of the miko's eyes, stirring instant panic in his blood.
"K-kagome?" Kouga's eyes grow wide at her quivering lips.
"Kagome, fuck, I'm so sorry!" Kouga rises to his knees, hands clutch at the miko's shoulders. "Whatever I said," eyes of storm tremble wide and uncomprehending, "whatever I did, kami's I'm so sorry!" Frantically he searches the miko's trembling gaze for some kind of understanding, some acknowledgement, finding nothing but large empty pools.
It had been so unexpected, so sudden, the rush of emotions that had sprung through her at Kouga's innocent words. Words that the wolf had played off like they were nothing, but which had struck a chord so deep and painful in Kagome's heart that the well of emotions it had unleashed threatens to drown her.
Kouga whines at the back of his throat when she still doesn't speak, cursing himself as he watches Kagome's head hang low, her aura filling with despair as a strong burnt orange scent pours from her, making Kouga's inner beast howl miserably. A scent he had caused.
"Kagome, please," he whispers hoarsely, reaching for her face. Hesitantly, slowly, he lifts her shaking chin, pleased when she doesn't pull away from him.
It's the soul deep pain radiating in her eyes that makes Kouga almost choke on his air supply. Tears welling up in the corners shake violently as they threaten to pour forth, and Kouga can tell she's using every last bit of strength she has to keep them from falling; to keep from being weak in front of him. Gods, but she has no idea, does she? She's the strongest person he's ever met in his life.
Kouga's thumb and index finger hold her chin carefully, pouring all his love for her into the tender gesture, pleading with her through his own unsteady gaze, "Please tell me what's wrong," he begs.
His soulful eyes bore into hers, so open and sincere it startles Kagome, surprises her, shocks her to her core. Realizing suddenly that there's never been any hidden agenda's with the wolf before her, Kouga had always been honest and open with her. Even when he had kidnapped her, he had been straightforward with why he had taken her – she could sense jewel shards. Of course Kouga had wanted her, everyone had wanted her because of those stupid shards, even InuYasha.
So how can it be that after all their years together, after all the battles they've been through, and foes they've faced, how can Kouga possibly forget something so important as that fact? The thing that seems to define her, after all, isn't that the whole point of her existence? To be the protector, the carrier of the Shikon jewel? Simply a casing for the powerful gem that needed guarding? She was the box your pretty bracelet came in, tossing the container away without a second thought. Just like InuYasha tossed her away every time Kikyo made her presence known.
It feels like an eternity when Kagome finally speaks, the words slowly pushing past her still trembling chin that is held firm and fast in the wolf's gentle grip.
"How . . . how can you say that?" voice hoarse and shaking with the power of her emotions.
Kami, the sound of her broken voice just about kills him.
"Say what?" Kouga asks softly, clearly confused. What exactly had he said? His eyes dart between each of hers like he might be able to find some answers buried within. Somehow understand what's set her off so badly.
The whisper that comes from her is low and trembling, full of utter bewilderment.
"Forget that I can see Shikon shards?" A single pearl of water slips the miko's control, carving a wet glimmering path down her cheek in the soft light of the moon. Her eyes turn accusing on the wolf as if he might be lying to her for some reason, before her gaze shifts back to one of desperate, aching pain.
"Kagome," Kouga whispers in shock, feeling himself dying inside as understanding of the miko's words plunges the Tessaiga itself deep into the wolf's breaking heart.
It's then he sees it, the fractured bit of the miko's soul that has been damaged by all this jewel hunting business in ways the strong silent miko has never let on about. He can see how strongly she doubts herself, allowing herself to be defined by a gift, an ability, somehow mistaking herself for the tool. The realization sends a cold fury raging through Kouga's blood, and a desire to kill the hanyou as he thinks on all the harsh words he's lashed at Kagome for years, slowly chipping away at the miko's sense of worth, her confidence.
The wolf's youkai growls with fury, he holds himself back. Now it's time to focus on Kagome. There's always time to kill the mutt later.
"I'm so sorry, Koi," making her blush with the endearment. Releasing Kagome's chin, he runs his clawed thumb carefully over the softness of her cheek, wiping away the single glistening track as no others had sprung loose of her control. Kouga's large hand cradles the side of her face gently. She looks at him with eyebrows drawn together, not understanding his apology, cheeks still pink from his lingering touch.
"Kagome, I know that when I first met you, what I saw was a human that could sense Shikon shards, and I wanted that power for myself, for my pack," at this the wolf can see the pain that fills her eyes, but she says nothing, waiting for him. "But that was just what caught my attention," Kouga's thumb strokes her cheek slowly, softly, needing to convey his feelings through touch, as is the way of wolves.
"What's held my attention from that day to this day, what keeps me coming back, despite the less than questionable company you sometimes keep," he teases her, making Kagome smirk – the sound makes his heart hum, "has nothing to do with you seeing Shikon shards."
"It . . . it doesn't?" she asks softly, trembling. More than anything he can tell she wants to believe him.
Gods how he hates himself, what a fucking moron he's been all these years! Fighting with the mutt over her like she was something to be possessed, instead of treating her like the prize she is, something to be won. He'd heard enough of the stories she read to the kitsune to know how very different a human's idea of love and romance is from a wolf demons.
In fighting with the mutt, in declaring himself boldly, in being confident, even cocky and sure of himself, Kouga was behaving exactly as any wolf demon would attempting to attract a mate. Displays of his power, and ability to defend her, to protect her, provide for her. It hadn't been until he'd started hearing the stories she called, 'fairy tales' that Kouga had begun to understand just how far off his game he was with her. And the proof of it is staring him in the face, with fat painful tears waiting to fall and break his wolfish heart.
"No," Kouga barks out a soft laugh, surprising her. "Gods, Kagome, I am such a fucking idiot." He hangs his head, shaking it at his thick stubborn pride. He doesn't see the look of disappointment that passes through Kagome's face as he draws his hand back, running it through the tops of his hair in a nervous gesture – but he hears her soft laughter at his outburst, making him grin. Raising his head, Kouga's bright cobalt eyes flash at her, fluttering her heart.
"Kagome, I've obviously been going about this all wrong with you if you can honestly sit there, and think that all you are to me is some kind of, jewel detector," he growls softly at the back of his throat at the words he's heard the miko use on more than once occasion with the mutt; only now understanding the depth of pain and hurt hidden behind those two little words.
"Your gift doesn't define you, Kagome. Your ability to see shards isn't what created the selfless, loving, and courageous person that you are," Kouga's words blaze in her heart as he speaks, sending a flush of warmth throughout her entire body.
"Just like my swift feet don't make me who I am," Kouga grins a slow and sexy smile at her, he can see a light blazing somewhere in the depths of Kagome's conflicted gaze, sees her eyes shifting, filling with . . . something, he keeps going, gaining confidence.
"I mean look at me, I'm dashing, and charming all on my own," he gives her a full-blown wolfish grin that reveals sharp pearly whites, and eyes that gleam with mischief.
Kagome laughs, pushing him softly on the shoulder. The unexpected contact sends a tremor running under the wolf's skin that makes the hairs on Kouga's tail stand on end, fighting back a grunt at the sudden spark of sensation that hums through his youkai.
"Thanks for proving my point," Kagome smirks at the cocky remark, but Kouga notices – with glowing pride – that she doesn't contradict him either.
"Hey, I wouldn't be me if I didn't say it," he chuckles, loving the effect he's having on her.
"True," Kagome beams, surprised at how much lighter she feels.
Kouga can't help but watch her for a moment, the shine of Kagome's dark tresses under the light of the moon glows around her like a halo. It cascades down her back like a dark waterfall of fur he just wants to run his hands through. The way she tugs on her bottom lip with her blunt tooth in a nervous gesture, gods, how he wants to be that tooth! Or the slight spray of freckles on her face because she'd been under the sun too long, has he ever seen anything more heart-achingly beautiful?
When he finally speaks, the memories of their first meeting flash through his mind, spreading the grin on his face.
"That day on the mountain, Kagome, when I first took you to my den, I saw up close your courage, your feistiness," Kouga smirks, remembering the slap she'd given him like it was yesterday. The wolf's hand rises to the place where she'd struck him, he can still feel the ghost of her palm against his skin when he thinks about it, pleased when Kagome smiles back with a slight flush, obviously recalling the same memory.
"Well, you did kind of deserve it," she tugs on her bottom lip, feeling a touch embarrassed now. Thinking back on the day, Kagome can hardly believe her own forwardness with the deadly, ferocious wolf leader that skipped across canyons like he was crossing the street.
Stupidity is what InuYasha had called it when Kagome had told her friends the story after they had all been reunited. Didn't she know the wolf could have easily snapped her neck for doing such a thing?! InuYasha had yelled at her. It had been hard to explain to them then, but somehow Kagome had known she had nothing to fear, and InuYasha had called her, 'stupidly insane'. But what if it had been something more? Could some part of Kagome have known that she had nothing to fear from the wildly aggressive wolf leader?
"Oh, I absolutely deserved it!" Kouga grins, making her laugh. "But I'll never forget the way you faced down my entire pack on the hillside just to help the little fox get away," Kouga's heart swells with the memory, filling his entire being with a rush of love and pride. He surprises Kagome by scooping her two small hands into his larger ones, holding them before him.
"That's when I knew Kagome," he stares intently into her eyes, hearing the small intake of breath she makes as he rubs his thumb over the back of her hand. "That's when I really saw you for the first time."
"Kouga?" she whispers, her heart hammering.
"I saw how strong you were in the face of fear, how determined to save the kit at all costs, even at the price of your own life. I saw your love, your bravery, your compassion, radiating around you like you'd been born of the Sun." Kouga's eyes fill with wonder at the memory, his heart racing right along with Kagome's.
The wolf's tone softens, slows by just a fraction. "And I had never seen anything so beautiful in my whole life."
Kagome is awed by the love and ache she can see flooding Kouga's gaze, a rush of emotion that breaks off the wolf's aura in an overwhelming wave as it brushes up against Kagome's, stealing air from her lungs.
"And every time I close my eyes," a clawed hand comes up, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear, softly he brushes the back of his knuckles against the side of her face, "it's still all I see."
Kagome's breath hic-cups.
Slowly, Kouga's face inches closer, "You're all I see, Kagome." He can hear the miko's heart thundering in her chest, can smell the thread of arousal swirling through her scent, setting the wolf's heart afire.
"Kagome," Kouga whispers, so close now he's a breath away from those soft pink lips. The kami have given him this rare, precious moment, and he'll be damned if he lets it slip through his claws.
"Yes?" the softest of whispers. Kouga's hand continues to graze gently against her face, fuzzing the miko's mind and heating her blood.
"May I kiss you, Kagome?" he asks hesitantly, not wanting to take from her any more than she wants to give. That's not what a Knight from one of her fairytales would do, not what a Prince would do.
Kagome's heart thunders like a freight train in her chest, her mind twisting and whirling on a set of tracks running straight into an avalanche of thoughts, emotions, and sensations. But before she can think to reply, her head is somehow already nodding, and Kouga's soft, supple lips are on hers – sweet, gentle, and chaste at first. Heat flutters Kagome's belly as her lips part and Kouga's tongue slides across her bottom lip, sending quakes of molten fire burning her insides that squeezes her thighs together. The feel of the wolf's hand pressing on the back of her head as he deepens their kiss, turns the fire blazing in the miko's belly into an erupting volcano. A haze of darkness teases at Kagome's senses as Kouga's tongue strokes hotly against hers, devouring her, breathing her in like air.
They part, gasping for breath – lungs burning for oxygen as they stare at each other, eyes wide and wild. Kouga can hardly believe that's he's just kissed Kagome! His mind struggles to comprehend what's just happened while still drawing in deep, panting breaths. It's then he notices the change in her scent, slowly filling with anxiety.
"Kagome?" his gaze softens.
But faster even then Kouga is able to follow in a moment of pure euphoric bliss, Kagome rises from the soft grass and sprints back into the forest, disappearing into the night. The wolf's hand comes up to his lips. Fuck, he can still taste her on them, and it makes his inner beast swoon in ecstasy.
Oh yes, Kouga grins, body tingling and on fire. He is definitely going to come back tomorrow night, and find out what else happens with his Snow White.