Midnight in August

My first fanfic. Don't be mean. This story is about lily and MWPP. It probably will have a plot, even tho I don't like plots, since life doesn't have a plot. I'll try to get romance and humor in there, I don't know, I'm very new at this. By the way, this fanfic will be pretty modern and sorry to all u other ppl, but also very American-ish. I can't help it! :-D

Disclaimer- Kay, I'm new at this too. Anything you recognize is NOT mine. Most likely JK Rowling's. Anything you DON'T recognize is MINE! Please ask before you take anything.

Got any questions? Ask me in a review or e-mail me! Or, if you want, IM me on my harrypfanatic111 or freddyhedgehog sn.

Ch. 2 Crush

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You know everything that I'm afraid of

You do everything i wish i did

Everybody wants you, everybody loves you

I know i should tell you how i feel

I wish everyone would disappear

Every time you call me, I'm too scared to be me

And I'm too shy to say

Ooh, I got a crush on you

I hope you feel the way that i do

I get a rush

When I'm with you

Ooh, I've got a crush on you

A crush on you

You know, I'm the one that you can talk to

And sometimes you tell me thing that i don't want to know

I just want to hold you

And you say exactly how you feel about her

And I wonder, could you ever think of me that way

Ooh, I got a crush on you

I hope you feel the way that i do

I get a rush

When I'm with you

Ooh, I've got a crush on you

A crush on you

Ooh, I wish i could tell somebody

But there's no one to talk to, nobody knows

I've got a crush on you

A crush on you, I got a crush

You say everything that no one says

But i feel everything that you're afraid to feel

I will always want you, I will always love you

I've got a crush...

-Crush, Mandy Moore

'Daddy's job? Problems? They never told me anything...did it just happen? Oh no...what if they've been lying to me? What if they ARE lying to me? Moving...they can't...moving...' Lily's thoughts were rushing through her head, she felt like a trapped animal, pressed against a wall, looking wildly for an escape. Sighing, she picked herself up from where she had fallen. When Lily came up to her room she had mindlessly dived into her secret "comfort room", which was a trapdoor over by her bed, and the exit was by her walk in closet.
Lily so wanted to just forget about everything, everything. But somehow, everything was connected to the happenings of the morning. She guessed it had been about an hour at least since she'd come upstairs and collapsed into the entrance slide to her secret room. Flopping on her waterbed in the middle of the room, she had fallen into a semi unconscious state, leaving her thoughts to scamper around her head in any incomplete, unorganized or perfectly blunt way. After a while though, Lily got sick of all the numbness and terror filled thoughts, so she pushed them out. Of course they came back, and here Lily was now, still on the waterbed, yet sitting up and gazing about in a nonchalant way.
Finally pulling herself out of the confined space she'd put herself in, Lily slowly got up, climbed the ladder leading out of her secret room, peeked her head out of the trapdoor to see if anyone was in her room- she really didn't feel like talking to anyone at the moment- found that it was clear, and slipped onto the hard wood floor of her room. Deciding to take a shower, she grabbed a towel and a change of clothes and walked into her medium sized bathroom. In it was a Jacuzzi, shower, counter with a mirror running along the wall behind it, a toilet, (A/N: Obviously there's a toilet in there, jesus, I just decided to add in case any wondered.) and a gigantic full-length mirror that came with the house for some reason. 'If Daddy's job isn't going well then why do I have all this stuff??' Lily thought in confusion and suspicion. Mostly she'd just taken all that for granted, as her friends had mostly the same fortune.

Staring stonily into her full-length mirror, she examined herself. Her mid- back length hair was auburn with red, blonde and slightly orange highlights. Her heart shaped face was tanned-despite her fair face- from being outside quite a lot this summer yet still had more than plenty freckles all over her face. Leaning in closer, she glared back into the eyes reflected in her mirror. The part of her she wasn't sure if she loved or hated. At least 30 different shades of green, her eyes are a guarantee to be called unusual. They sure were gorgeous, she knew that but she wasn't sure if she liked the attention she got from them. Lighting up at odd times, and an open door for her emotions, was another factor she couldn't decide good or bad on. Her scrutiny moved downwards. Although not exactly skinny or thin, she as sure as hell wasn't fat in the least. Being 13, (A/N: to put this politely...) her chest had started to grow quite a bit, she was a bit discomforted about that, she wasn't a big fan of being fawned over by boys. Her eyes traveled down to her favorite feature, her legs. She was proud to say she had killer legs, well toned and long. At times, she would think they were too muscle-y, but she liked them how they were. Being a dancer she was super fit and was happy for it.

Shrugging, Lily undressed and climbed into her shower that had been pouring out steam for the last 10 minutes and had turned her bathroom into Fog Land. Half an hour later, Lily was squeaky clean and dressed. After drying and brushing her hair, applying her light makeup (that included eye shadow, mascara, blush and lip gloss) and brushing her teeth, she hesitantly stepped out of her bathroom, for Lily still wasn't quite big on the idea of telling her friends about her supposed moving. Thinking better of her plan to go on a walk, since there a chance she'd see her friends, Lily switched into her dance gear and went down to her comfort room, which held a dance studio that she got James' dad to secretly put in there as a birthday present a few years ago.

Music and dancing was like a cure to any problems in Lily's life. She took to it like a fish to water, when music turned on she couldn't help but start dancing, the endless rhythm in her body and soul would overcome her. Feeling a need for assurance, she went back to her memories. Turning on the A Rush Of Blood To The Head Coldplay CD, she switched it to track 5, "Clocks". Her modern dance from a year ago shot through her mind, a forgotten thought sweeping along a remembering mind. Closing her eyes, feeling the music the dance, Lily desperately danced to the familiar movements with the rhythm on fire in her body, her soul. Dancing through the whole CD, she put in her Sarah McLachlan CD, whose haunting vocals ripped straight to her heart.

Lily tied her pointe shoes on her feet, and she danced, danced on bare feet, on her toes, in ballet slippers, in jazz shoes, working herself to exhaustion, where she brought herself to her centered waterbed, and cried. Burning, angry tears poured from her eyes leaving salty trails of wet fire on her cheeks. Without realizing it, her 5 CD stereo had clicked on to her Good Charlotte CD, and was on track 12, "The Young and the Hopeless". The lyrics ran through her head and she thought 'How true are these lyrics?' Sighing, Lily forced her tears to stop, and went to face the music- in other words, have a talk with her parents about this issue and then, if she was feeling up to it, with her friends. Stepping down the last flight of stairs, Lily plummeted downwards as she absentmindedly fell heavily on the wood floor of her foyer when she missed the last step on her stairs. Muttering about her sore ass and god having it in for her, she walked into the kitchen expecting to see her parents. Unfortunately or fortunately, depending on the way you looked at it, all Lily saw was a note saying:

Lillian Dear-

Your father and I went to the grocery store and the bank. We will be back in a few hours. You know what numbers to call and where to go if there's trouble.
Love, Mom

P. S. We left some money if you'd like to go somewhere with your friends.

'Heh. They're feeling guilty...bribery is what THAT is. Jesus I'm not stupid, Mom...' Lily thought after reading through the note written in her mom's near perfect cursive. It brought back memories of her mom teaching her to write in 3rd grade. She blocked it out though, since elementary school wasn't a big part of Lily's fond memories. Friends and trust were a problem back then; and cruel, consistent teasing; dissing and hurtful comments from her brother had kept her self-esteem down low. She had been best friends with him, but that changed that one day when they were 8. Ever since then she said she hated him, but underneath that protective shield she knew she was still hurt and scarred forever by what he'd put her through. Even now, the scars from him and friend problems still made her falter at times. She was stronger now, mentally and physically, but that didn't stop her from questioning all she trusted from her friends to her family.
Lily thought, 'Well, if they're gone, maybe I should just wait to talk to my friends. I don't know if anything is for sure, I don't want to scare them.' Of course, God and fate had other plans. So they chose that moment to have her friends stop by her house again. Ringing her doorbell, she was frozen in her spot by the choices of answering the door or hiding, which might not work since her friends knew numerous ways to get in and out of her house secretly.

'Hmmm... I don't HAVE to say anything to them so I guess I'll answer the door...' Using that streak of courage, Lily walked into her foyer and opened the intricately designed double doors of the front of her house. "Umm...hey guys." She said with a fake smile.

"Ohmigod Lily, what's wrong??" Lindsey instantly asked.

Lily blinked. She was confused. Then it dawned on her. "Oh...oh...my face..." Her makeup must have ran and still been on her face from when she was crying. And her eyes must have been a billboard saying that she had cried.

"Well? Are you going to explain why you look like crap?" Anne said rather bluntly.

"Anne! That was harsh!" Jen shot a reproving glare to Anne and gently soothed Lily who had began to get upset by saying to her, "Come on, Lil, it's okay, do you mind telling us what's wrong?" and put her arm around her.

"Why does everyone say it's going to be okay? What if it ISN'T going to be okay?! You don't know! Jesus..." Lily said moodily, and tears formed in her eyes.

"I guess that's a no to telling us what's wrong..."Jen said and looked over to the others to discuss what the plan of action was now.

Lily threw Jen's arm off and looked over to the forest on the far side of her house. For a while she just imagined how lovely it would be in there, peaceful, quiet. Then she walked over to it, noiselessly. Lindsay, Sirius, Anne and Jen were busing conversing on what to do since they noticed Lily didn't want to deal with anything at ALL and paid no heed to her when she left, as she was so quiet. James, though, who'd been oddly silent through this whole thing, looked as she went, and left after her, much in the same fashion as her, slipping away without a sound.

Gazing at her and quickening his pace he caught up with her but didn't say a word, though he knew she heard him. She didn't look u or falter, just continued as she had before, James matched her pace, and they walked in a comfortable stillness, side by side to the forest. He would glance at Lily from time to time, but never say anything. Once she sighed. He looked over, concerned, but she was still looking straight ahead, and still didn't verbally acknowledge him.

James softened his gaze and thought about her. Though he's never told a soul, he had a crush on her since one day in the middle of Transfiguration, he realized, as he was thinking about her, that he LIKED her MORE than a friend! Of course, this had frightened him, as it was only in first year, and he had only a little experience in that. Sure, he thought some girls were hot, and had a few girlfriends in 5th grade or so, but he really liked Lily. For everything. She was beautiful, and he simply loved the way she WAS. Her laugh, her smile, her personality, the way she would always care about her friends no matter what, and of course the way she looked. She was almost fragile looking, but ever so soft and sexy, with her dreamy eyes, delicate complexion and fine, wavy/curly/straight hair that was red, auburn, orange, and very slightly blonde. She seemed perfect- not super skinny, just the right height (his level) and almost floating along beside him. Even now, with her messy face and slightly red eyes, she was gorgeous, like a goddess, a fairy. Come to think of it, her ears DID turn up a little at the top and-

Lily glanced over at him for a split second. "I can feel you stare at me." She said with a small smile and a laugh in her voice.

James laughed and blushed. "Caught me, did you?" and made Lily smile a true smile. They entered the opening clearing of the forest and walked through till the sun that shone upon everything and blinded them before, left and hid behind the many trees of every kind gathered close together. And for a long time, it seemed almost an eternity, of endless trees and plants. Then, after walking till their feet were sore, the sun blinded them again. "It's so gorgeous." Lily breathed, looking around at the pure setting of it.

There was a glade, surrounded by cattails and long grasses. The pool itself seemed like a looking glass, its reflective surface a mirror image of the dream like quality of the clearing they had stumbled (A/N: not literally...) upon. Flowers of blues and purples like bluebells and lady slippers graced the earth around the pond and the edges of the clearing. The water in the pool was clear as diamonds and showed the bottom of the pool, filled with near thousands of stones of blues, grays, blacks, and whites, and with fish- tropical fish, that just didn't look native to here, yet thrive in this glade.

"I've never seen this before." Lily whispered, taking off her flip-flops and tracing the smooth yet rough surface of the tall stones scattered around the pond with the tips of her long-nailed fingers, and feeling the soft, bare earth that was just powdery dirt mixed with a shimmery substance, as if it were crushed up jewels. Sitting down on one of the several stones mentioned just before, Lily breathed in the sweet damp air that had a surreal touch to it. "Wow..." she closed her eyes and smiled.

James went and sat down beside her.

"You're right." He said.

"About what?"

"It is beautiful."

"A little late on that one?" Lily said with smile.

"Always." James replied grinning.

They sat in stillness for a few minutes, each chewing on their own problems and gazing about, around the hedges and shimming over what Lily identified as faerie mushrooms that have grown one after another in the form of a circle. It's said these are made when the faeries come out and they dance and play, and the magic released from their mystic rituals make these rings. Lily was strangely drawn to them, and this place in general. She wondered if there really were faeries in her forest, her glade. Maybe she wasn't as muggleborn as she thought. She sighed, again.

"Do you wanna tell me what's got you looking so sad?" James asked with a concerned look on his face, his eyes penetrating into hers. She sighed, yet again.

"Mmmm...I suppose...how that I think about it I feel foolish. I'm making much too big a deal about it..."

"Well, do you still wanna clue me in?"

She didn't answer. Another sigh. "My parents...told me we might move..." Lily finally said hesitantly, her eyes glued onto a tree straight in front of her, almost in a trance. After a few seconds, she snapped out of her reverie and swung her head around to face James and said, "You think I'm overreacting, don't you?? I'm being stupid! It's just moving, after all!" she said bitterly with a false laugh, and looked stonily back to her tree.

"Hey, hey, calm down," her said touching her arm and staring in her eyes, "No, it does matter, you know we all love you, Lily! We'd miss you to death, even though we spend most of the year at Hogwarts, summer wouldn't be the same without you." He took a breath. "Wait... you're not moving THAT far away...right?"

"I'm not sure...yeah..." she was still thinking about what he had said. There was something about the way he'd said love. "Wait! No! No, they didn't say anything a yes or no...sorry, you know how it's my reflex to say yes." She laughed.

"No kidding, it's only happened about 15 million times." He grinned and playfully shoved her.

"Hey!" she smiled and shoved him back while giggling. "Whoa!" he exclaimed as he fell backwards. "Jesus, how strong ARE you? You push hard!" James said while staring at her in amazement with a strange smile on his face.

"What're you staring at?" Lily said with a humorous smirk on her face, and then replaced it with a worried look. "Anyways, are you okay? You looked like you hit your head pretty hard..."

"I'll be fine, Lils." He replied as he watched her come over and looked him up and down for injuries, "You just pushed me off this thing and I hit my head on the stone. No big deal."

"Okay. Wait, you hit your head on the stone?! That could cause serious brain damage! Are you dizzy? Nauseous? You look kinda pale...do you feel weak? Tired? Like you're gonna faint?" Lily asked anxiously.

"Lils." James said "Lils! Lily...Lily...Lily! Li-ly...oh forget it..." Then he shot her a look she didn't receive because she was too busy listing symptoms and side effects. James cleared his throat then shouted, "Lillian Anastasia!" She suddenly straightened up and jerked her head to look him in the eye with a murderous glare and started to say her 'how-dare-you-call-me-that- you-KNOW-I-hate-that-name!!' speech, but before she could he cut her off and said, "Sorry, I had to, you weren't listening otherwise."

"What about- "

"I tried your other names."

"Well-"

"Lils, it DOESN'T MATTER, okay?"

"Yeah, but-"

"Just drop it." He said pleadingly with a smile.

"Okay, fine" she said reluctantly "But never again, you hear me? Unless you want the claws of death to come pouncing on you!" He smiled and felt a weird sensation as an image of her on top of him sent chills up his spine. 'Whoa, where did that come from?!' James thought and shook his head slightly to shake the image from his mind.

"You okay?" Lily asked him, as he had a dazed and uncoordinated expression on his face.

"Yeah, yeah I'm good." James shook his head again and waved away the thought of liking her more than he already did as absurd. He stood up and stuck out his hand to help Lily up.
She took it, stood up beside him, and was shocked to feel her stomach squirm and a shrill wind go up her back as her hand was clasped in his. 'What? Why am I feeling like this? I've touched James and he's touched me plenty of times before! I'm probably just tired...'

"So, uh, you wanna keep walking? Of course, we could go find the other guys too..." James added quickly at the end and his face glowed red. 'Ugh, why am I blushing?!' he though furiously to himself.

"Um, well, we could keep walking, unless, I mean, um, do you want to? Or we could go find them, if you want to." She said, stumbling over words and crimson creeping up her neck to her forehead, and then just noticing his face was the same color. 'Why is he blushing? Why am I blushing?! Oh my god...what IS this? We're both acting like fools! Ugh..." Lily thought.

"Well let's keep walking, then. I don't feel like seeing them again yet." James said and smiled at her, trying to force the blush off his face, while thinking, 'what's happening? We're both blushing! Does she like me more than friend?! And I've never acted like this before! Even when I realized that I had a crush on her I didn't! What is WITH me?! Ugh, whatever, maybe it'll go away...hey, she's so pretty in the sunlight...whoa...not again! Okay...'

"Okay." Lily replied and smiled, trying to gain back control of herself. She turned and started walking towards the clearing and was disappearing when James realized it. He took a breath and ran to catch up to her.

'Oh my god. What am I gonna do? I think I have a crush on him!' Lily though frantically, 'Maybe we should go back to our friends. I KNOW I'm acting weird. Even I can tell! Ohhh my god...' she turned around quickly, and came face to face with James. She nearly fell as she tripped trying to get as far back as possible, so instinctively he reached out for her and caught her by the waist. A jolt went through her stomach so she jumped out of his arms, and stumbled a few feet away. "Are you okay, Lily? You're acting kind of...strange..." James said with concern written on his face.

"Yeah! Of course I am! Heh heh..." she said with a fake laugh and suddenly couldn't help but notice how cute he looked when he was concerned...about HER...she sneakily glanced back at him to catch a look of his gorgeous brown eyes. 'Why am I like this?! Good lord, it happened so fast too! Oh no, he caught me looking...I am SUCH a dork! Oh no...I'm blushing again!' Lily started to get panicky 'Oh no, I look like crap, too! What is he thinking? And WHY is he blushing?! Oh no! Does he think I like him? Does he know? Is he embarrassed because he doesn't like me and knows that I like him? And Jesus! He's my best friend! I can't have a crush on my best friend!! AHHHH!' and her eyes widened at the thought.

James was just standing there, wondering why the hell she was acting like this. Then her eyes widened at something. He looked around, over both shoulders. Nothing was there. He was getting extraordinarily suspicious when she said in a pitch too high for her normal voice, "Uh, um, maybe we should find the others."

"Oooookay, Lily. Whatever you say." James replied and smiled at her. "Let's go then."

She tried not to swoon at his smile that just suddenly turned a whole lot more attractive, and tried to give a weak one back as she started walking and gave a mental kick to herself for going wacky over her best friend. 'What is with her...she looked so cute when her eyes widened though...' James thought as he walked beside her.

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Once they caught up with their friends, where Sirius and Jen were having a battle of who could chug the most Gatorade, Lily calmed down a little but couldn't resist shooting devious short looks at James. Anne noticed the one sided staring contest. She pulled her away while they were all watching a movie, Pirates of the Caribbean, and James and Sirius were doing impressions of different scenes. Lily was laughing at both of them, as everyone was, but had her eyes locked on James and would only flicker towards Sirius every once in a while. Little did she know, James was trying his hardest to make Lily laugh.
Once they were all caught up in a battle scene, Lily said, "I'm gonna get a drink guys."

"Yeah I think I will too." Anne said fast, seizing her chance to interrogate Lily. She caught up to her in the hallways and said,"You LIKE him, Lily!!" she whispered indignantly.

"What are you talking about? Who do I like?" Lily said calmly, confused but inside she was squirming to death.

"James! I saw you looking at him! ALL day!"

Lily shot another confused look at her. "Anne, he's one of my best friends! How could I like him? And I think you're hallucinating, 'cuz I haven't been "looking" at him." Lily was simply freaking out inside.

"Well that's what I'm wondering! Lily! I'm your best friend, you hafta tell me! I tell you who I like!" Anne was beginning to whine.

"Exactly, Anne. You're my best friend I wouldn't lie to you!" Lily said in a completely trustworthy tone. 'Thank the lord for my acting skills...' she thought.

"Lily! Damn it! Tell me!"

"Anne, I have nothing to tell you!"

Their conversation was rising in a crescendo rapidly.

"God damn your acting skills Lily!"

"Shit, Anne! Why the hell are you being like this!?"

Unknowingly to them, the others had paused the movie several seconds before and were exchanging glances as they listened to the fight.

"Why the hell are YOU being like this, Lillian?! I thought we were best friends!"

"We ARE! That's why I'm wondering why you're not believing me!"

"Bull shit! I KNOW when you're acting, and you are right now!"

"That is not true, Annabelle Elisabeth!"

"Whatever!"

"Jesus Christ! I'm leaving!"

Lily stormed out of the living room where the 5 of them stared at her for a few seconds then hurriedly averted their gaze as she said "What are YOU looking at??" with venom in her voice. She walked to the couch, grabbed her bracelet that she had taken off, turned on her heel and slammed the door as she walked out of James's house.
All of them lived in the same neighborhood, so Lily only had to walk a few streets to get to her house, but before she got very far, she heard her name being called by someone she wasn't feeling up to seeing.
She turned around slowly when she felt James's hand on her shoulder. "Can you just leave me alone James?" she asked, despite the butterflies in her stomach and the want of him to like her more than a best friend- even though that was a tough relationship to put on the line.

"No, I can't. What was that fight about?"

She sighed. "James...I don't want to talk about it...please..."

"Well I do, Lils...I'm your best friend! Um...right?"

"Of course James...it's just...oh never mind..."

"No, Lily. Please tell me..."

'He looks so desperate...but I can't say anything! And there's no way in hell I'm telling him how I feel! And its not just this fight...there's something else, too...how can I deal with THAT though...'

"James...I can't!" Lily was now near tears. "I'm sorry, you don't understand. I can't." she so wanted to spill it out to him, as he always knew what to do, and he knew everything about her. But this time, it was different. This time, he couldn't, as one of the things was about HIM. She didn't know why, but that was one of the saddest things she'd ever experienced. She turned away, her tears starting to sting and leak from her eyes.

"Hey, hey...Lil...what's wrong? Lily! Come on...what is wrong?"

"Everything!" She choked through her tears her back still turned.

"Oh, Lily..." He clasped her shoulders, turned her around and said, "Lily, what can be so bad that you can't tell me?"

"Y-you don't know!"

"But you've told me everything, all your secrets, you even said so!"

"N-no! Not all of them! You don't know, you don't know! And I can't say them! I don't know what to do!" she sobbed.

All of it just caught up to her. All the pain she'd been through, through all the years, all the emotions she'd hid, all the tears she never cried, somehow something caused her walls to break down. Her shoulders shook and she hid her face as she cried. James's hands jumped as her shoulders did. 'Oh my god...what's gotten into her? She's never been THIS bad! And I've known her since, when we were practically babies! Shit! I don't know what to do! I wish she'd tell me...she looks so stunning even crying...I want to just kiss her and make it all disappear for her...'

"Oh, Lily...it'll be alright...I'll make it better..." James said and embraced her. He hugged her tightly to try and make her shuddering stop.
It when on for a while. Both were secretly enjoying being so close to the other, but Lily continued to gasp and sob, while James desperately tried to console her.

"Shhh, Lily, come on, it looks like it's gonna rain, come on, let's walk now."

But Lily was still in her own world. Something was very wrong, and James knew that. He didn't know what else to do, Lily was sobbing as if the world was going to end, and huge droplets of rain were starting to fall, scattered amongst the pavement. So he picked her up, his two strong arms supporting her body.

"James, James where are we going??" she stuttered through the tears mixed now with rain on her cheeks.

"Shush, Lily, I'm taking you back to my house."

"No!" she struggled, "No! I don't wanna go back there! Let me go! James, let me GO!" she squirmed and twisted.

"No, Lily. It's already raining, I'm not leaving you out here, and you don't HAVE to talk to Anne or any of the rest of them if you don't want to."
It just brought a whole new round of tears on.

As they were talking, James had walked back to his house.

"Let me go!" she sobbed.

He held her tighter, said, "Lily, please...I care about you so much, and I really wish you'd make this easier..." and opened the door.

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there's the second chapter. why do i have NO reviews? is it really that bad? well i don't care what you say, just review with what you think. and i appreciate constructive critism!

the third chapter is now being typed. dance camp is done so i'll have more time.

don't forget to review. if you have any ideas for me, or how to make it better, tell me!