Rurouni Ranma

by Darkfyre99

Disclaimer: Ranma ½ and related characters and situations are the property of their creator, the divine Takahashi Rumiko. Any other characters from other anime or manga, that make an appearance in this fanfic, are also the property of their respective creators. This fanfic was written purely for entertainment purposes, and not for profit.

Chapter Two: "Aftermath"

Nabiki stretched languidly, enjoying the sensation of her nightshirt sliding against bare flesh. Despite having had her sister keep her up for over an hour, she felt well rested and ready to face the day. She loved erotic doujinshi, and her "Mr. Happy" had gotten quite the workout last night.

Absently humming, she tamed her bed hair and put on her school uniform. It was nice to be in a good mood in the morning for a change. The last month had been far too intense to enjoy. Between Ranma running off to China, Akane getting kidnapped, the whole wedding fiasco, and its aftermath, "tense" had been her middle name. Gathering together her school things, and checking her books for any other pools that may have ended yesterday, she left her room.

Checking herself out in the mirror, she smirked and said, "I've really got to borrow that book from Kasumi when she's done with it. It sounded like it had the mother of all 'juicy scenes.' "

The sight of a disheveled, scowling, and sleepy-eyed Akane greeted her when she opened her door. Her little sister gave her a glare, before growling out, "You are such a pervert, Nabiki."

"Oh?" Nabiki bent towards Akane, a wide smile on her face. "Try it. You might like it. Or better yet, get that hunky fiancé of yours to help you." She gave Akane a friendly pat on the cheek. "I don't expect you to go all the way, but a little 'A' or 'B' might sweeten that disposition of yours." Nabiki started down the hall.

"I'm not like you, Nabiki! And I don't want that pervert touching me!"

"Please... even Kasumi does it every once in a while."

"Oneechan isn't a pervert, Nabiki!"

"Want me to show you where she keeps HER 'Mr. Happy,' Akane? Mmmm?" She almost skipped down the stairs when she saw the shocked expression on Akane's face. Today was just too good a morning to be spoiled by her irritable, perversion-obsessed little sister.

Reaching the kitchen, she sung out, "Good Morning, beloved big sister!"

Kasumi beamed a dazzling smile as she chorused out her own, "Good Morning, beloved little sister!" The older girl then turned back to her cooking, humming a little tune merrily.

'That must've been some book... she's practically glowing.' "Say, Kasumi? Can I borrow that book once you're done with it?"

"Which book would that be?"

"You know... the one you were reading last night." She elbowed her older sister playfully. "Eh? Eh?"

Nabiki grinned as she watched her sister go into a full-body blush. "Oh my! You... you heard that last night?"

"Don't worry about it sis... we all get needs once in a while."

"Aaaa! I'm surrounded by perverts!"

Nabiki was treated to watching her sister rush out the kitchen. "Of course, some of us know better than to let those needs build up before we become complete bitches. So, can I borrow that book? Usually, those 'juicy parts' aren't longer than half an hour."

"Of... of course, Nabiki-chan. You'd best sit down. Breakfast will be ready in a few minutes."

"Sure." Nabiki walked a few steps, then thought of something. She turned around, and whispered in Kasumi's ear. "By the way... you might want to be a little more... discreet about your fantasies. I don't blame you, Ranma is quite the hunk, but if Daddy had heard you, let alone Akane or the Saotomes..."

Nabiki smiled as Kasumi blushed an even brighter red. "I'll... keep that in mind, Nabiki."

The middle Tendo daughter made her way to the family room, where most of the household was assembled for breakfast. Akane was at her usual place; a sickly glow emanating from the bad mood she was in. If she had been taught the Shi-Shi-Hokodan, she probably would've leveled the house by now. Nabiki was rather surprised to see Genma sitting beside Nodoka, rather than sparring with Ranma out in the yard, while they waited for Kasumi to announce that breakfast was ready. She took her place at the table, beside Kasumi's empty seat.

"Nabiki, have you seen that ungrateful son of mine?" Nabiki frowned. Usually, that line would've come from Genma.

"I haven't seen Ranma since last night, Auntie."

"The pervert probably spent last night with one of his hussies!"

'Yeah... right sis.' Nabiki looked at her sister, thinking, 'There goes stooge number one.'

"Ranma! How dare you cheat on your fiancée!"

Sighing at her father's antics, she thought, 'And there's stooge number two...'

"Ranma! You shame your father!"

'And stooge number three chimes in right on cue.'

"Oh! My son is so manly!"

'I guess I'm going to have to start calling her stooge number four. I guess that would make her Shemp. Heh.' Nabiki allowed herself a smile.

Kasumi walked in, carrying a large tray with breakfast. As was her custom, she called out, "Breakfast is ready everyone."

"Oneechan? Are you okay? You look a little stiff."

Kasumi turned her dazzling smile at her sister as she handed the girl her rice. "I'm fine, Akane-chan." Nabiki noticed that Kasumi had served her father, herself, and Akane before her sister served herself and began eating.

'So...Oneechan is still upset with Nodoka. Anyone who thinks Kasumi is mild mannered and always nice is fooling themselves. She just doesn't announce it to the world with a bullhorn like Akane. She's just very subtle.'

With a covert glare at Kasumi, Nodoka served her husband and herself before frowning at the empty spot beside Akane. "Where's my son? It's not like him to miss a meal."

"Who cares where that baka is?"

"Last night, Ranma-chan renounced his family name, repudiated the engagements his former parents made on his behalf, and said he was going to China to look for a cure. Would you like some more rice, Father?"

Nabiki boggled at Kasumi's announcement, said in the same tone of voice she would use to announce that she had sent Ranma out to pick up some groceries. 'You certainly know how to drop a bombshell, Oneechan,' Nabiki thought, her hair poinging out in all directions.

Silence reigned for about a minute, while the eldest Tendo daughter calmly ate her breakfast, her perky smile from this morning unchanged. The woman even had the audacity to hum merrily. Then chaos erupted around the breakfast table.

"Why that ungrateful brat! How dare he defy me?"

"Waah! Ranma's gone ronin! Now the two schools will never be joined!"

"How could he abandon his poor father in his old age?"

'Where's the fourth stooge?' Nabiki looked at her younger sister, who had gone completely pale, her chopsticks frozen halfway to her mouth. To Nabiki's amazement, tears were forming in Akane's eyes, and she began shaking her head in denial as the chopsticks fell from her hands. With a sob, Akane ran out of the family room. 'Was she... crying? I can't believe she actually cared about him... Akane, you are an idiot. If you'd just given him your trust, you would've had him a long time ago.'

Nabiki suddenly thought of something, a thought that drove all concerns about her little sister out of her mind. If Ranma had renounced his family name last night, then she might owe somebody a lot of money. The pool was at 27,000 yen if she remembered correctly, and since nobody was willing to take bets on Ranma totally abandoning his honor, she had had to lay out five to one odds. Even then, people only started laying bets when they could take three-day blocks. Someone had taken the block ending last night at midnight. She believed it had been Akane's friend Yuka that had made that bet. In fact, she had made it after the wedding.

As casually as she could, Nabiki asked, "So... when exactly did Ranma renounce his family name, Oneechan?" She took another bite of her rice.

Tapping her lips with her chopsticks, Kasumi said reflectively, "Let's see... Ranma mentioned his intention to renounce his name a little after 11:00 last night..."

'Kuso! I owe Yuka about 135,000 yen!' Nabiki looked mournfully at the imaginary bags of yen flying away into the distance as she absently nibbled on some pickled vegetables.

"But I suppose he didn't officially do so until about 12:30 or so."

'Yes!' Nabiki's bags of yen flew triumphantly back into her wallet. Continuing to eat breakfast while watching the raging parental units blame each other for Ranma's departure, she thought, 'Why would Ranma tell Kasumi at eleven, but not "officially" renounce his name until 12:30? Wait a second... wasn't that about the same time that Kasumi stopped...' Nabiki began choking on the rice it her mouth.

After a forceful swat on the back by her older sister, a shocked Nabiki croaked out, "Thanks, sis." After gulping down some warm tea provided by the ever-helpful Kasumi, she gave the older girl a look. "We've got to talk."

"Of course." Finishing her breakfast, Kasumi rose and made her way to the kitchen, Nabiki following in her wake.

"Alright, Oneechan... let me see if I've got this straight. Last night, Ranma came to your room, told you he was renouncing his family name, somehow seduced you, and then fucked your brains out for over an hour before leaving?"

Kasumi blushed. "Nabiki-chan, you really shouldn't use such language! Besides, that's not what happened. Don't be silly."

Nabiki sighed in relief. 'At least it wasn't what I thought it was. I can't believe that I thought that Ranma and Kasumi would...'

"Ranma-chan came to my room, told me he was renouncing his family name, and I told him it wasn't fair that I didn't get to be his fiancée when my two sisters did. He transferred the engagement to me, we made love, and then I sent him on his way." Kasumi's eyes became dreamy as her hand caressed her cheek. "It was so romantic! Like one of those American romance novels you gave me!"

Nabiki stared at her sister, shocked once again into a state of dishevelment. After absently smoothing her hair and straitening her school uniform, she proved that she was indeed Soun's daughter. "Waah! I've corrupted my saintly big sister!" She soon found herself in Kasumi's embrace, the older woman's hand rubbing her back.

"There, there, little sister. You didn't corrupt me. Everything will be all right."

"Sniff But what if you get pregnant?" Unlike her volatile father and little sister, Nabiki usually regained her equilibrium quickly, those few times she actually lost it.

"Don't be silly... we used condoms."

Nabiki narrowed her eyes. "I find it hard to believe that either you or Ranma would have condoms, let alone know how to use them properly." 'But then, I never figured either one of you would be the type for a one-night stand, either... especially with each other.'

Kasumi blushed. "Well, I figured that eventually Ranma and Akane's relationship would become physical, and I knew neither one was mature enough to think about things like contraceptives, nor would they want to have children so soon, so I figured I'd better be prepared." Kasumi's look became stern. "Now, you'd better get going to school if you don't want to be late. I still need to call your school to tell them that Akane won't be coming in, then I need to check up our little sister, to make sure she's alright."

"Nice try, Oneechan... but I don't distract that easily. What happened to, 'I don't think it's right at all,' when Ranma snuck into Akane's bedroom three weeks after he moved in with us?" Nabiki did her best Kasumi imitation, complete with her hand on her cheek and her eyes opened wide.

"They had only known each other a few weeks, and it was quite obvious that they weren't ready for a physical relationship," Kasumi said primly. "It was equally obvious that Akane didn't want Ranma there."

"What about, 'Oh! I hope he's older than me. Younger men are so boring.' " Nabiki sent her best "annoyed Kasumi" glare at her sister.

"It wasn't as if Ranma or I were planning on marrying, Nabiki. Besides, I'm sure you've noticed that Ranma may be many things, but boring isn't one of them."

A smile ghosted across Nabiki's face for a second. "And what happened to, 'Shampoo, I think we should have a little talk about men and baths?' " Nabiki turned her best "disappointed Kasumi" expression towards an imaginary Shampoo.

"Nabiki, I wish you would quit 'quoting' me."

"Just answer the question, Oneechan."

"It just isn't appropriate for a woman to barge in on a man while he's bathing... and especially the other way around. If she wants to join him, she should ask permission first, and it was quite obvious that poor Ranma didn't want her there. You really should get to school, little sister."

"Hai, hai. I'm going, I'm going." Running out the door, Nabiki thought, shaking her head, 'You think you know someone...'

- + -

'What to do... what to do... what to do...'

Nabiki found herself in a quandary. On the one hand, she had valuable information, very valuable information to certain parties she could name. If she acted quickly, she could make a killing. On the other hand, it would in poor taste to take advantage of those same parties, but telling them for free would effectively tell everyone for free, which was bad for her bottom line...

Ignoring the Blue Blunder of Furinkan High, who waited by the customary tree for Nabiki's little sister and the pig-tailed girl to come rushing into his arms, and to deliver "Heaven's Vengeance" upon the black sorcerer Saotome, Nabiki came to a conclusion. 'Well... I guess there's only one thing to do.'

Making her way to room 2-F, Akane, Ranma, and Ukyou's current classroom, Nabiki was greeted by the anguished cry, "WHY Ranchan! Why did you leave me behind?"

'So much for that idea...'

Finding the distraught Ukyou, Nabiki put on her best sympathetic expression. "I'm guessing Ranma visited you last night and told you he'd renounced his family name."

Yuka and Sayuri, who had their arms around Ukyou's shoulders, nodded together. "How's Akane taking it?"

"Since Kasumi was the only one he told at home, and she decided to let everyone else know at the breakfast table, Akane's taking it pretty hard." Nabiki thought to herself, 'I hope Ranma knows what he's doing. Without a family name, he's going to find it hard to survive in our society, and I doubt many clans would be willing to adopt a genuine ronin. Of course, he's also very skilled in the martial arts, and that counts for something, so...'

Ukyou's head dropped to her desk. "He didn't even give me one good fuck for the road. I barely got a good kiss out of him, the jerk." Ukyou turned her head to glare at Nabiki. "What exactly set him off? What did Akane do to him?"

'Well... I'll give Ranma credit for not rushing from one woman's bed to another...' Nabiki's hand automatically shot out. "Five thousand yen." Nabiki's expression didn't change when Ukyou's glare turned into a glower. Eventually, the chef gave up and paid Nabiki the requested sum. "It wasn't Akane," she said as the money disappeared, "His ex-mother, in her infinite wisdom, accepted a substantial sum of money from Kodachi so she could be one of his 'concubines.' Needless to say, he didn't take it very well." Nabiki noticed that most of the boys were nodding in agreement to the wise course of Ranma's actions. The rest, primarily those who were once part of the 'Hentai Horde,' looked disgusted at Ranma's displeasure about having Kodachi as a concubine.

The wall to the adjoining classroom chose that moment to crumble into fragments. Framed by the gaping hole was the ever buxom, quite bouncy, and frequently well-armed Amazon warrior, Shampoo. "Nihao! Ranma take Shampoo on date, yes?" It took the purple-haired warrior a few seconds to realize that Ranma wasn't there.

Not really wanting to deal with the perky Chinese girl, not to mention getting a little bit of revenge, Nabiki said, "Sorry, Shampoo, but Ranma isn't here. He's renounced his family name, and has run off to China in search of a cure."

"Aiya! Shampoo so happy! Ranma chose be Shampoo husband!" After a couple happy bounces, much to the enjoyment of most of the males in the room, and several of the females, Shampoo jumped off the second-floor balcony. A few moments later, the distant chime of a bell drifted back to them on the wind.

Nabiki looked at the shocked Ukyou, and said wryly, "I wonder how long it's going to take for her to figure out that he left her behind as well. Well, if you'll excuse me..." With a wave, Nabiki rushed off to her own room, making it just before the tardy bell.

A few minutes later, the homeroom teacher from class 2-D peered through the gaping hole at the equally incredulous Hinako-sensei. "Well... there goes another wall."

Hinako nodded. "That delinquent!"

- + -

Kuno Tatewaki really, really, really hated bucket duty.

- + -

Kasumi knocked on her youngest sister's door. "Akane, can I come in?" Getting no reply, Kasumi gently opened the door and went inside.

Inside, Kasumi found Akane curled up on her bed, crying, with her pet P-chan held tightly to her chest. Kasumi noticed that, as always, the pig looked slightly freaked out, being held by Akane in that fashion. The look of anger wasn't quite so common, but not so unusual either, but the bug-eyes and blue hue to his face was definitely a new look for the miniature black pig.

"Akane, I don't think P-chan can breathe, the way you're holding him."

Akane slowly sat up, setting P-chan down on the bed beside her. "He didn't even say goodbye."

Kasumi joined Akane on the bed, gently pushing P-chan to the side. "I think it was because he would've stayed if you asked him to."

"Really?"

Kasumi draped her arm over her sister's shoulders, bringing her into a loose embrace. "He said that for months now, you were the only thing keeping him here." 'That and me, but I don't want you to know that.' "He really was trying to make things work out between you two. He just didn't know how to do that, thanks to his father." Kasumi noticed that P-chan looked curiously dubious at that statement.

"Really?"

"Yes. He was trying to find a way to break the engagements between Ukyou and Shampoo, without either of them losing their honor, or he his. He didn't want them as either wives or lovers..."

"Lovers? Why that pervert! I knew he was cheating on me!" Kasumi saw P-chan nodding from his place by her knee.

"Akane... would you listen for once?"

"What?" Akane was startled to see a frown on Kasumi's face.

"Akane, I just said that Ranma did NOT want either Shampoo or Ukyou as lovers. He did, however, want YOU as a lover. Right after the wedding, he had believed that you wanted him as well."

Akane paled at that. "He wanted to..."

Kasumi's frown deepened. "Akane... what do you think would've happened if you and Ranma had successfully gotten married, and Ranma had assumed, correctly, that you finally wanted to be intimate with him?" Seeing the expression on her younger sister's face, Kasumi sighed. "That's what I thought. Akane, I don't know where you got your ideas about what 'perversion' is... but that is what married people do. You must've known that. Why on earth did you agree to marry Ranma if you weren't ready to do that with him?"

Akane looked down, blushing furiously.

"Akane," Kasumi stood up. "If you won't admit it to me, then at least admit it to yourself. You know where to find me when you're ready to talk."

Kasumi's sister was still staring at the floor when she closed the door behind her.

- + -

Tendo Nabiki was eating her lunch when a bundle of five-hundred yen bills was tossed onto her desk. Never one to look a gift horse in the mouth, she picked it up. Looking up at the individual who had done the tossing, she asked, "Is this a present, Kuno-chan? My thanks."

"It is not, Tendo Nabiki. I have heard a most glorious rumor, and I want to learn the truth of it."

"Which is?"

"That the foul demon Saotome has, at last, shown his cowardice, and fled my righteousness."

"Well, Kuno-chan, I have to say that the rumor is false." She absently counted the ten bills before putting them away.

"And what is the truth?"

"The going rate is 10,000 yen." After receiving her payment, she looked at Kuno Tatewaki. "The truth is that after your sister offered his mother a substantial sum of money to be one of his concubines, which she accepted, Ranma finally got tired of being the son of such dishonorable parents. He chose to become ronin rather than remain in that family."

"So! The scoundrel has finally been revealed to be the rogue that he is! He has at last released his hold on the fair Tendo Akane and the pig-tailed girl! I must go at once to prepare to welcome them into my embrace! Fair educator! I must depart!" Oblivious to the incredulous stares around him, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High imperiously marched out of the classroom.

Katsu-sensei, having just arrived from lunch, shook her head as she absently reached out for the class list. "Kuno Tatewaki... leaving early once again."

- + -

Tendo Nabiki made her way back home, after a rather tiring, but still profitable, day at school. Tiring because she had to keep confirming what had happened the night before. Profitable because everyone just had to hear it from the proverbial horse's mouth, which meant that they had to pay her for the truth. She absently stepped over a dazed Kuno, who was muttering, "I fight on." She raised her eyebrow at that. That wasn't Kuno's usual line after being knocked into the stratosphere by Akane.

As she approached the Tendo Dojo, she noticed two men standing on either side of the gate. Both were in their mid to late twenties, dressed in a gi and a keikogi/hakama combination respectively, and possessed the build of martial artists. Not surprisingly, the one wearing the hakama had a bokken leaning against his shoulder.

"So how long do you think the Kuno boy's going to be this time?" The kendoist said to his companion.

"I give it another fifteen minutes. The idiot simply doesn't realize he's in over his head. You mind if I thrash him this time? I'm not particularly fond of bullies who won't take 'no' for an answer."

"Sure. Don't forget you get extra points for distance."

As she approached, the quite handsome swordsman bowed, and opened the gate for her. "Welcome home, Tendo-san. Kasumi-dono has requested that you join her in the living room as soon as you returned from school." She managed to place a name to the face: Myoujin Akira, one of the top twenty young kendoists in Tokyo.

'Kasumi-dono?' Taking a moment to gather her wits about her, she said, "Ah... thank you, Myoujin-san." Resisting the urge to ask, "What the hell's going on here?" she made her way to the family room. There she found her sisters. Her father, from what she could hear, was still crying over Ranma's departure in his bedroom. Her littlest sister looked out of sorts, as if she couldn't decide whether to rage or weep, with good old P-chan in her lap. Kasumi, however, looked positively serene. "Hey, sis. What's up? Where are Auntie and Uncle Saotome?"

"The Saotomes aren't here, Nabiki. They aren't a part of this family, and with Ranma-kun's departure, they never will be, so I have asked them to leave. Myoujin-san and his friends are here to ensure that they don't return."

In his bedroom in the next room, Nabiki's father broke out into a fresh round of sobs. "My baby girl doesn't like my best friend!"

"Okay... so you finally decided to get rid of the freeloaders, sis?"

"In part. This morning, I informed Yamada-san..."

"The ladle-lady?"

"That's right. I informed Yamada-san that I was finally willing to see the suitors she'd been collecting on my behalf. I also informed her that I might need help in removing the Saotomes from our home. Fortunately, the young men Yamada-san knew were quite eager to help me out."

"My baby-girl is going to get married!"

The Tendo sisters ignored their father's outbursts in the next room. Akane frowned at her older sister. "Why now, Kasumi?"

"Because I was hoping that you and Ranma would work out your differences, and carry on the Dojo. Unfortunately, it didn't work out, so I must be the one to secure part of our family's legacy."

Nabiki stared out at the back yard, where a pair of young men in their mid to late twenty's, patrolled the property wall. "Which explains all the young martial artists around the place."

Kasumi smiled. "All these men were interested in my hand before today, Nabiki. I had always intended to be a martial artist's wife. I was simply waiting for Akane to marry Ranma, before I would secure my own future."

"I don't get it, Sis. What's the rush?"

Kasumi's eyes narrowed dangerously. "Let's just say I think it's in everyone's best interest to not to have the Saotomes here to influence Father anymore."

"You've noticed that too, huh?" Nabiki shook her head. "It's amazing that Ranma turned out so well... with parents like those."

Akane gave her older sister a dubious look. " 'Ranma turned out so well?' Seems to me the apple didn't fall far from the tree."

Nabiki rolled her eyes. "Give me a break, Akane. Ranma was relatively honorable, especially when compared to his father. He was rough around the edges, sure, but look at who raised him. Ranma was also a virgin when he lived under this roof... which is surprising given that Shampoo, Kodachi, and even Ukyou were willing to give themselves to him if he asked. Not to mention many of the girls at school, and some from nearby schools, also would've loved to have a fling with him... especially when they found out he turned into a girl. It seems quite a few girls think that's an advantage." Nabiki shook her head. "Believe me, Akane, if Ranma had wanted to, he could've gotten laid on a daily basis, with a different girl each night. Or with several girls..."

"But..."

Kasumi shook her head as well. "Ranma isn't like his parents, Akane. That's why he's forsaken his family name."

Akane frowned. "So... now what are we supposed to do?"

"Get on with our lives, Akane. Speaking of which... I think it's time for you to take P-chan there to the vet and have him fixed." Nabiki saw the pig's eyes bug out, and with a squeal, he began trying, unsuccessfully, to struggle out of Akane's grip. "I know you don't want to do this, but since Ranma is no longer here, there isn't a man in this house willing to keep P-chan from misbehaving anymore."

"My daughter doesn't consider me a man!"

Watching the pig struggle helplessly in Akane's grip, Kasumi added. "If you don't want to have P-chan fixed, then you'll have to give him away. I'm sure Akari-chan would be interested in giving P-chan a home.

"As for me... I have two-dozen young men I need to get to know better before Father and I can decide upon on husband for me." Kasumi smiled impishly. "It should be fun."

"You're gonna string along two-dozen men?" Akane stared in shock.

"No, Akane. I'm going to get to know two-dozen men. They are all aware that is what we'll be doing, and that in the end I'll choose only one of them. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get ready for my date with Kamiya-san. I wonder what he has planned..." Kasumi absently rose to her feet and headed towards the stairs.

Nabiki looked at her still shocked little sister. "Kind of feels like you woke up in a parallel universe this morning, doesn't it, sis?" At Akane's faint nod, she smirked. 'If only you knew the truth, Sis. If only you knew.'

- + -

"Obaasan... I have a letter for you."

Cologne, ever mindful of her dignity as one of her tribe's Elders, resisted the urge to shout out to the uncaring gods, "What have I done to deserve this?" Besides... they might just answer, and she didn't feel like getting a list of the many such offenses she'd accumulated through her century-long life.

The extremely trying day had begun when her great-granddaughter had begun yet another ill-conceived campaign to get Ranma to "date" her. With the exception of a brief visit to pick up her pack, Shampoo hadn't returned yet. Cologne couldn't believe that Shampoo was so... delusional. She simply couldn't believe that her primary candidate for an heir to her position and her Art was that deficient. She didn't even want to dwell on the fact that as far as the local martial artists were concerned, Shampoo was on weaker side of "average," and she only managed that achievement because Ukyou didn't have time to train properly between school and her restaurant, and the Tendo girl simply didn't take the Art seriously.

On top of her problems with Shampoo, the Nerima rumor mill was working overtime today. If the rumors were true, and Ranma had completely forsaken his honor by renouncing his family name, then he wasn't likely to care about what happened to her great-granddaughter anymore. If the rumors were true, as she suspected them to be from her great-granddaughter's rushed explanation of "Ranma go China to marry Shampoo. Leave stupid panda man," as she ran upstairs for her pack, then she wasn't likely to salvage anything out of the last nine months for her family, her village, or the Amazon tribe in general. The rumor that the eldest Tendo girl was suddenly seeing suitors, martial artist suitors, also lent a bit of credibility to the rumors about Ranma's departure.

The restaurant had also been uncharacteristically busy, and without Shampoo to take the pressure off, Cologne hadn't been able to investigate the rumors herself. It was days like this that really made Cologne regret opening the restaurant as a cover for her operations in Japan. Unfortunately, the Ministry of Immigration didn't have a box on their forms for "seeking husband won in battle."

"Thank you dear." She accepted the letter from the child, giving her a hundred yen note in exchange. She had to smile at the girl's profuse thanks as she ran out of the Nekohanten. Opening the letter, Cologne had to say, "Somehow I doubt this will be good news."

"Hiya old ghoul!" Cologne read.

The old woman sighed, "Oh great, it's from Ranma. I knew it wasn't good news."

"I'm sure by now you've heard that I've renounced my family name. It's true. Genma pretty much insured that I couldn't honorably marry anybody, and Nodoka seems to be determined to add to the problem. But don't worry, just because I've abandoned my family name doesn't mean I've abandoned my obligations to you..." For the first time since this morning, Cologne felt the first stirrings of hope. "...even if those obligations are caused by laws that are barbaric and I am under no obligation to recognize those laws, as far as my honor, such as it is, is concerned. After all, you've taught me a lot, and though I can't forget that Shampoo tried to kill me because of your sore loser law..." Cologne blinked. She had heard the "Kiss of Death" described as many things, but the "sore loser law" was a first. She really didn't like the implications of that observation.

"...but I kind of like Shampoo, and I'd hate to see her suffer because of a bit of stupidity on my part. Now, as much fun Shampoo would've been in bed ..."

Cologne found her estimation of Ranma rising. She had assumed that Ranma's resistance to Shampoo's advances stemmed from something other than sheer will power.

"...I just can't seem to trust you not to view that as consummating..."

Cologne smirked. She could practically hear Ranma carefully spelling out that word.

"...the marriage, so I can't. Instead, I've left you a donation at the Nerima Fertility Clinic. Now I'm sure Shampoo will be disappointed about being knocked up without enjoying many long hours of hot, passionate sex with yours truly," the letter smirked.

Cologne paused. 'Smirked?' The matriarch reread that passage again. 'Yes, the letter literally smirked. That boy's a marvel, I wonder if he is even aware of the level of ki manipulation necessary to do something like that in a letter, especially one written with modern paper and ink.'

She continued reading. "But that's the way things have to be between us. Now, how you use this donation is up to you. The doctors say that using artificial insemination, Shampoo could probably bear two or three of my children, and even more if you use other techniques. Since the deal was for one child, I guess you're getting the more than you wanted..."

In a way she was. Cologne had hoped that the boy would indeed impregnate Shampoo the old fashioned way, which would have consummated the marriage in the eyes of the Communist government back home, allowing Cologne to bring political pressure to bear. Unfortunately, Cologne had figured that someone would tell him about how a girl could get pregnant without having to have sex with her.

The outright gift of Ranma's seed, rather than simply using that seed to get Shampoo pregnant, was a bonus in Cologne's eyes. Amazon fertility techniques would increase the odds dramatically, meaning that Cologne could trade some of Ranma's seed to the benefit of her clan and her village. She knew that many other Elders wanted Ranma's seed in their bloodlines, given the requests she'd had to arrange a marriage for Shampoo's children by Ranma.

She read on. "... so I consider my end of the deal to be more than fulfilled. From this point on, we're on even ground. Whether you wish to build a new relationship is up to you. I would like to learn more from you, Sensei..."

Cologne was surprised sense the respect coming from that word in the letter.

"...but I'd rather not have anything to do with your laws and your customs.

"Finally, I thought you'd like to know that while I was at that clinic today, I made several 'deposits.' The docs told me that quite a few families had expressed interest in my seed, if I ever decided to go this route, and I must admit that their offer was tempting enough to be worthwhile. Lots are being auctioned off two weeks from today to the highest bidder, and I get fifty percent of the sales. I'm sure a smart woman like you will know whether it's in your best interests to attend.

"Until next we meet again, your student, Ranma."

Cologne exhaled. She would definitely attend the auction, if only out of curiosity for how valuable Ranma's seed was in the eyes of his fellow Japanese. Given how easily Genma's engagement schemes had worked, she suspected something was up within the close-knit community of practitioners of the traditional Arts. She wanted to know what that was.

"Great-grandmother, I home!" Cologne could hear the frustration in her great-granddaughter's voice. It wasn't too surprising, since she was sure that Shampoo had come to the erroneous conclusion that because Ranma had renounced his family name, and thus the engagements to Akane and Ukyou made by his father, that he had decided to marry her.

Grabbing her staff from where it leaned against the counter, she pogoed over to her not quite so perky descendant. "Good news, Shampoo!"

Shampoo got perky quite quickly. "Ranma here to marry Shampoo?" The bounciness to her manner, one of the attractions of their restaurant, returned.

"Not quite, Shampoo. Ranma has agreed to our offer..."

"Aiyaa! Ranma waiting upstairs to ravage Shampoo long time?" The girl giggled in anticipation, no doubt imagining said 'ravaging.'

The inevitable outburst from Mousse came from the kitchen. "Saotome! You cad!"

With a long-suffering sigh, Cologne bopped Shampoo on the head with her staff. Having gotten the girl's attention, Cologne continued. "Unfortunately, he's taken the less obvious route for impregnating you. Fortunately, he chose to simply give us his seed, rather than simply give you a child, so you have some choices to make, starting with whether you want to bear Ranma's child, and ending with how many you want to bear. While you're thinking about your options, I need to make a long overdue visit to the Tendo compound. Oh... since you've been gone the whole day, make sure you clean up the restaurant."

As Cologne exited her restaurant, she heard Shampoo venting her frustration, following Mousse's ill-timed advance. It was a pity that Mousse was so obsessed with her great-granddaughter. Given "duck-boy's" potential, she would've liked to marry him off to one of Shampoo's many second cousins, despite his handicap. After all, that handicap is easily overcome by wearing glasses, contacts, or through surgery. That kind of strength in the martial arts, especially a more esoteric martial art such as Hidden Weapons, needed to be preserved for the good of their tribe.

- + -

"No sign of the panda and his wife, Soun sobbing about some silly thing or another, several young martial artists of considerable strength and skill here at the dojo, and young Tendo Kasumi dressed to the nine's... something tells me the rumors I've heard are true."

The three Tendo daughters turned to face Kasumi's window, where the Amazon matriarch was perched. "Oh, hello grandmother Cologne," Kasumi said, smiling. "I suppose it depends upon the rumors."

"That Ranma has abandoned his family name, and has left for parts unknown. That your family has kicked out the Saotomes," She nodded in Kasumi's direction, "And that young miss Tendo here has become Tokyo's most desirable bachelorette, at least within the martial artist community. Am I wrong so far?"

Nabiki grinned. "Nope. Although Ranma's last reported destination was China."

"Given Ranma's recent display of maturity, I doubt the lad is heading to China." The elderly martial artist stared at Kasumi. "I also think I have Miss Tendo to thank for repairing the damage done by my great-granddaughter and Akane here. I thought that his acceptance letter of my offer was a bit out of character for him."

Akane frowned. "What damage? What offer? And why are you blushing, oneechan?"

"The damage, young Tendo, was that between Shampoo's overly aggressive and clumsy attempts at seduction, and your reaction to anything resembling affection between himself and any female, yourself included, was Ranma's fear of physical intimacy. The offer was for Ranma to impregnate Shampoo." Cologne bopped Akane on the top of her head with her staff before the girl could interrupt. "Unfortunately, his acceptance of the offer was through the use of artificial insemination, rather than the more traditional manner, which would've resulted in consummating the marriage between him and Shampoo. Kasumi's blush means that I've noticed her tampering in these two areas... though I hold her no ill will for either case, for it opens a much greater opportunity for both myself and my tribe, as opposed to trapping Ranma into marriage. I doubt that Shampoo feels the same way, unfortunately." The old woman smiled. "Now that I've confirmed my own thoughts about what's happened recently, I will take my leave of you. Have fun on your date, Kasumi."

"What exactly did Kasumi do?" Akane asked, rubbing her head.

"I will." Kasumi winked.

"Just try not to have too much fun." Cologne winked back.

"Don't worry. I happen to believe that kind of thing comes after you get to know someone well."

"Good night." Cologne hopped out of the window to the yard below, and pogoed her staff over the property wall.

"Nabiki, I think I prefer a lighter shade of lipstick..."

"Come on, Kasumi. What did you do? Kasumi?"

- + -

Next Chapter Teaser:

"Yo, Ranma here. Looks like I finally get to make another appearance in what's supposed to be MY story. The changes to my life are only beginning, and I get in way over my head in trouble. Guest stars abound in the next exciting chapter of Rurouni Ranma: 'Demons and Wizards and Warriors... oh my!' "

- + -

Three months later:

Tendo Nabiki sat with her sisters and Kasumi's fiancé of two weeks. Across the table sat her father and the Saotomes. Somehow, she knew she wouldn't like what was coming next. Her father had that "Unite the Schools" look in his eye, which was never a good sign.

"Now then, daughters. Saotome and I, through great hardship and hard work," Soun ignored the skeptical looks from the young people on the other side of the table, "have managed to obtain a sperm sample of Ranma's. If one of you girls..."

"Oh my, Saotome-san. Wasn't that expensive? Where did you get the money?"

Her father, looking embarrassed, said, "Well, Kasumi... Saotome and I took a loan against our homes..."

"Then I expect you to repay every yen you borrowed, Father, before you can return home. And I expect Saotome-san to agree to pay you back every yen you contributed before we even discuss the matter further. After all, it was his responsibility to provide a son to continue our family."

Crying, the Tendo family patriarch said, "But... Kasumi..."

"That's final, Father."

"Then I guess we'll have to find a job, eh, Saotome?" The older man forced a laughed.

"Of course, Tendo, of course." The fatter man also faked a laugh.

Nabiki leaned over to Kasumi, and whispered, "Don't expect to see that money any time soon, Sis."

"Anyway, if one of you girls were willing to bear Ranma's child, it would unite our schools, and our family honor would be restored. Now, Kasumi..." Soun's voice trailed off as he saw the expression on his daughter's fiancé's face.

Kamiya Kenji was one of the best swordsmen in Japan, despite being only twenty-four years old. He had also inherited the Kamiya family's legendary temperament. They were all very friendly and easy going, but you simply didn't want to get on their bad side. Right now, the young man was giving Soun a glare that promised to burn his body into ash.

"Okay, maybe not. Nabiki..."

"The going rate for my womb is ten million yen."

Her father began to weep again. "Nabiki!"

"I will be willing to give you a discount on the impregnation charge if I actually get to have hot, passionate sex with Ranma at least once. What's the point of getting pregnant if you don't get to have fun getting that way? Don't you agree, Kasumi?" Nabiki smirked at her sister's blush.

"Aka..."

"Don't... even... think it."

"But..."

"Don't worry, Father. I've got a solution."

"Kasumi! I knew you wouldn't let your father down!" Tears of joy streamed down Soun's face.

Ignoring her fiancé's incredulous look, she handed her father a cardboard box. Soun stared at the plain cardboard box, wondering how this could possibly be a solution. "What's this?"

Kasumi smiled sweetly at her father. "Instant Nyanniichuan powder, waterproof soap, and a sixteen-centimeter aging mushroom. If you want to have Ranma's child, I'm afraid you'll have to do it yourself."