A cold jab hits me in the small of my back, jarring me from welcome unconsciousness. I shoot upright in shock, my fear slowly melting into confusion as I take in my surroundings. Sitting up, and wincing in the lingering pain in my back, I quickly turn my body 360 degrees, trying to figure out where I am.

My thoughts sluggishly replay the last things I can remember, so infuriatingly slowly. I begin to remember the small staircase I died on...Seeing L...dying...Oh god.

I jump up hurriedly, and immediately gasp in horror and disappointment. There, on the horizon is-

Nothing.

Just like in every other direction. I can only see three things on this empty plain; the sand, stretching out in every direction like a cold desert, the sun; or what I think is a sun. A faintish glow coming from the sky would be a more accurate description. And the third thing I can see is myself.

I listlessly begin to stagger in a random direction, desperate to see any kind of change in my surroundings, or the presence of another human. I hadn't realized it at first, but I'm incredibly lonely. It's just me in an empty, flat Sahara.

A long laugh breaks my train of thought, and I whip around fearfully, to see a familiar looking figure. Ryuk. He's just hanging, perched in midair by his wings, laughing at me endlessly. After a few more seconds of his mirth, he stops and eyes me in disdain.

"Thought you'd be headed to the Shinigami Realm?" Ryuk asks me rhetorically. "Well, you can forget it. Usually, a Death Note user ends up there and becomes a death god, but the Shinigami King didn't wish for an insane psychopathic murderer to have a second chance at killing. So instead you were sent here, to Mu."

I can say honestly that I'm not surprised. I didn't deserve a second chance, even the twisted half-life of a Shinigami. All things considered, I did deserve to end up here, to be forever tortured by my mounting guilt. My reverie is broken again by Ryuk's laughter, and even as he slowly vanishes from my sight, I can still hear his disdainful laughter echo in my ears, "Hyuk, hyuk, hyuk."

I dislike the fact that Ryuk still finds me a source of entertainment. I guess that watching an insane killer sprout and blossom from within a perfect, model citizen doesn't occur often in the Shingami's life. No wonder he said he was bored; the only difference between here and Ryuk's description of the Shinigami realm is both the presence of other Shinigami, and the different land features; cliffs, trees, rocks. Other than that, they sound quite similar.

Knowing that it's pointless, but doing it anyway because if I simply curl up on the floor and wallow in my guilt, I know I'll eventually turn insane, I slowly begin to trudge along the soft sand that is the only thing in Mu.

LATER LATER LATER LATER LATER

I collapse into the sand weakly, less inclined to get up than the previous multitude of times I've stumbled. How long have I been here – weeks? Days? For all I know, it could have been mere minutes, and I wouldn't know. That's the second worst thing about purgatory – the unknowingness. I long to see my father, and L, wherever they are, but I never will. The lack of information is part of my eternal sentence. Part of my eternal curse.

I dimly consider getting up again, but now the thought of insanity seems almost like a blessing, so I willingly curl up in the sand, and replay memories in my head. The first sighting...Lind L Tailor...The twelve FBI agents...To-Oh university...Hideki Ryuuga; no, L...I wince mentally at the name. I hope he doesn't hate me, though why should I be deserving of his forgiveness? The more I think about it, the more horrific Kira seems to me; and I can hardly believe that before I ended up here I was naive enough to aim for divinity.

Wincing again, this time at the unwelcome thought about Kira, I focus on past memories. The task force, Ukita's death, Misa Amane, Rem, the Yotsuba group, Higuchi... and the Notebook.

Again, I distantly wonder how long I have been reminiscing on my past. Soon, though, I won't have to remember anymore. I can feel myself slipping into the numb embrace of madness, standing on the edge of a cliff overlooking insanity. I can tell I'm close; by the way things seem to slide around my consciousness. All I need is a little bit more time...

I raise my slumped body up until I'm on my knees, head bowed, the proper picture of atonement. I'm ready to step of that mental cliff into the oblivion of madness. I slowly close my eyes, waiting for the inevitable, yet gentle push that will send me spiralling into unconsciousness, when the sand shifts behind me.

I growl silently to myself- I was so deliciously close, and my imagination had to completely spoil my careful preparation. It would take even longer now to reach the numbing embrace of oblivion. I begin mentally cursing myself, when I feel more sand flick onto my bare feet. A small glimmer of hope begins to grow in my chest, perhaps I have reached madness after all. I briefly consider ignoring the irritating movement. But curiosity gets the better of me, and as I'm turning around, I think wryly to myself, Curiosity killed the cat, but what if the cat wants to die?

Narrowing my eyes slightly I push my head back a little farther and take a quick peek over my shoulder. To my surprise, there's nothing there. But there, in the distance, and this time I'm sure it's not my imagination, is the shadowed silhouette of a person. But before I can properly make out the person, who seems all too familiar, the edges of my vision clouds black, and I slowly sink into the clutches of sleep.

A/N: I know, cliffhanger right? :D I know, I'm evil. I got the whole insanity idea after wondering what I'd do in that situation...stuck in an eternal Sahara with only my memories.. I'd be kinda like Tom Hanks in that weird movie where he got stuck on an island. With his friend Wilson the soccer ball o.O