2

Arizona's POV
It took her and Mark another half an hour before they got me to leave Calliope's side. The moment I stepped out of her room I felt a mixture of relive and guilt wash over me. She probably didn't even notice I was gone, but if something happened and I wasn't there… I can't think about that. I hesitated to turn around and go back to her, but my best friend seemed to know what I was thinking because she grabbed my arm and pulled me towards the exit. The moment I breathe in the fresh air I feel nauseous, I can't even take 5 steps without emptying my stomach next to the nearest bench. Teddy hands me over a tissue before dragging me towards my apartment building, she has a firm grip on my wrist, like she's afraid I'm going to run away. Not that I could, I don't seem to have any control over my body whatsoever. I glance at her side, 3 months! I haven't seen my best friend in 3 months. One part of me wants to hug her and tell her how much I've missed her, but the other part wants to kick her because she made me leave Calliope's side.

Before I know it we stand in front of my apartment, she opens the door and the smell of the place overwhelms me. It smells like Calliope in here so much I almost throw up again. She pushes me into the bathroom gently, and helps me undress. I'm glad she does because I don't know if I would've managed on my own. She sits down on the bathroom floor while I let hot water run over my body. God I needed this more then I thought. I let the water run over my face, hoping it'll wash away my fears as well.

''I'm going to get you some clothes, are you okay in there?'' she asks me.

Does she think I'm going to drown myself or something? I would never do such a thing, as long as Calliope's fighting so am I.

How on earth did I get here? I ask myself. But I already know the answer to that question. The reason Calliope's lying in that ICU bed is me, it's my fault. I told those guys to back of, I lured them out of their cages. Callie stood in front of me, protecting me, using her own body as a human shield. Before I know it I start to cry, it starts out softly but it soon turns in to the freaking Niagara Falls. Then I feel two arms surrounding me, holding me tight.

I don't know for how long I stayed in the shower, crying my eyes out with Teddy's arms wrapped around me. But I'm now sitting on the couch, with a steaming cup of tea in my hands.

''I'll be right back, I just have to change into something a little less wet.'' Teddy smirks. Apparently she didn't take her clothes of when she stepped into the shower with me.

''Yeah you better do that cause you look like hell'' I joke. This is probably the first joke I make in 5 weeks and 5 days. I hear the shower turn on but before I know it she's back.

''Do you maybe want to get some sleep?'' she offers. I shake my head 'no' and stand up, implying to her to leave again. This time she doesn't argue, she just sighs and follows me out the door.

When we reach Callie's room I can see Mark sitting next to her, holding her hands with tears in his eyes. The door's not entirely closed so I can hear him whisper things to her.

''Cal you have to wake up, you can't leave us all here, you can't! It'd kill Arizona Callie! Do you know how much she has slept in the past couple of weeks? I'll tell you, almost none! She loves you sweetheart, she's worth fighting for! You have to come back and safe her, she's lost without you. And I am to…'' he says while there're tears running down his face.

Teddy stands next to me, watching Mark cry over his best friend.

''You're not the only one who misses her Zona'' she says quietly.

''She's his best friend sweetie, you know how much she means to him, just talk to him. Or me, or Yang for that matter. But you have to start sharing this, it'll kill you if you don't.''

I just stand there, watching Mark and Calliope… She's right, I'm not the only one who's going crazy over this. But until now I didn't let myself think about them, the others, her friends and family.

''We went out to dinner that night'' I start.

''To celebrate our engagement... Do you know we've been together for over 2 years now after the shootings?'' Teddy knew this was a rhetorical question.

''We left the restaurant around 11 pm, there were these guys following us.'' I take a deep breath before I continue.

''I thought I recognized them from the restaurant so I didn't really look to much in to it. I wanted to walk home, it was a beautiful night and after I made certain kinds of promises she agreed to walk instead of taking a cab. Then all of a sudden one of the guys started making very rude jokes about women, lesbians in particular. After a few minutes I couldn't take it anymore and I asked them to stop. This wasn't my best move, but they where so damn rude I just had to say something! They were practically yelling that all women are stupid and that they should all stay at home and cook or something. Oh and according to him women who are lesbians never had a 'real man' in their life. Who on earth says these kinds of things?!''

Teddy soothed me by patting me gently on my back.

''Continue please'' she asks me after I calm down.

''Well, they came up to us and started making comments about my ass and stuff. I tried to ignore them, but Callie had a tougher time doing that. I tried moving us in a different direction, but then they made comments about Calliope's breast and something in my snapped. Before I know it we're in an alley and that's when…..''

But I couldn't continue anymore, it was all too much. Teddy seemed to understand this since she didn't push me to continue the story. She took my hands in hers and squeezed them tightly. At that moment Mark walks out of the room

''You sure do smell better'' he jokes.

''Thank you Mark, for you know… everything.'' I whisper.

He pulls me into a big bear hug,

''Listen roller girl, you're not alone. If you need me, for anything, I'm just a page away'' he says into my hair.

''I'm going to talk to the chief for a minute, you go in there okay?'' Teddy says.

So I walk into her room again, and as I take my place besides her bed again I feel a sudden wave of tiredness hit me. I give her a soft kiss on her hand before I fall into a restless sleep.