Chapter 2

She stood up and began walking to Nero's room. When she reached his door, she stopped and listened before knocking. No answer. Kyrie took a deep breath and opened his door. It was dark in his room, but she could see his silhouette lying on the bed. The moonlight shined through the sheer curtains illuminating his eyes as he stared up at the ceiling. She slowly closed the door behind herself and stared at him, but he didn't say anything. He didn't even move.

"Nero." she called.

He looked at her, but still said nothing.

"Talk to me. Please?" she asked hoping he would tell her what he was feeling.

"About what?" he asked.

"Why did you leave like that?" she inquired.

"Had to." Nero responded.

"What?" Kyrie was not expecting him to say that, "Had to?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"Because," Nero began, "I just did."

Kyrie furrowed her brows in confusion.

"Nero," she replied, "why are you doing this?"

"Doing what? I'm not doing anything Kyrie."

"But you are." Kyrie was beginning to feel knots in her stomach. His tone sounded detached and somewhat cold.

"No i'm not." Nero re-focused his attention to the ceiling.

"I can't believe this right now Nero." Kyrie began to feel a lump in her throat as tears threatened her eyes again.

"Believe what? What am I doing Kyrie? I just want to think right now," Nero responded.

"Why won't you just talk to me Nero?" Kyrie responded as she stomped her foot a little. She was starting to feel frustrated at his evasiveness.

"I am talking to you, but I don't know what you want from me." Nero stated.

"I just told you. I want to know why you left like you did. But you wont tell me. You never do..." Kyrie was glad the lights were off as tears began to stream down her face.

"I told you, I just had to Kyrie. Just leave it at that." Nero said as he took a deep breath.

Kyrie turned and opened the door, walking out and heading back to the living room. She sat down on the couch and put her hands over her face as her tears flowed freely. She suddenly wanted to go home and just be by herself for a while. All she wanted was for him to talk to her and tell her what was going on with him, but he wouldn't, he just wouldn't. It was all so confusing to her and it broke her heart that he wouldn't open up and tell her what was wrong. She wanted to try to help him. She hated when he was upset, especially if it had anything to do with her.

She stood up and got her purse and started packing up the things she had brought with her. Maybe it would be best to just leave him to his thoughts and cut this evening short, that way she wouldn't be tempted to aggravate him further with her growing concerns. But as she packed, she heard the distant sound of a door opening. She refused to move because she didn't want him seeing her crying again.

"What are you doing?" Nero asked.

"I'm just getting my stuff Nero," she started without turning to look at him, "It's probably best if I go home..."

"Kyrie wait, just... don't go." Nero responded.

"Nero, please, let's just call it a night. Okay?" Kyrie replied.

"Why?" Nero asked.

Kyrie could sense something in his voice, but at this point she just wanted to leave. She would focus on surviving the drive home without trying to pry further.

"Because, I don't want to make anything worse. You said you wanted to think, so I just want to give you space." Kyrie stated.

"No Kyrie," Nero started, "please...I..."

"Nero, I just want to go home." Kyrie's tears kept falling.

Nero grabbed his keys from the telly stand and sat on the couch resting his head in his hands and looking at the floor.

"Please don't leave," Nero choked out.

"Why Nero? Why shouldn't I?" Kyrie was getting even more upset because he was giving her a hard time when she was only doing what she thought he wanted. She started feeling besides herself.

"First you walk out, then you won't tell me what's wrong." Kyrie began firmly, "You wanted time to think and now i'm trying to give you that. So why shouldn't I leave Nero?" She turned to look at him to show him how serious she was about this.

"Because..." he said lowly, still looking at the floor.

"Because why?" She didn't mean to, but the frustration was apparent in Kyrie's voice now.

"Because I love you!" Nero yelled as he looked at her with tears streaming down his face.

Kyrie was taken aback as she saw that he was crying. The calmness in his voice had not let on at all. Her heart beat fast as she began to think that something was very wrong now. Nero never cried about much of anything. The only other time she could remember seeing him cry was when...

Nero continued to speak.

"I love you so much Kyrie, you don't even understand. I'm not trying to hurt you, i'm trying to protect you!" Nero was raising his voice and he stood up from the couch before he continued. Kyrie stayed firm in her position as she looked up at him.

"You want to know why I walked away? You really want to know?"

Kyrie pursed her lips, trying not to burst into tears as she nodded. She had no idea what was coming next and frankly, she was a bit scared.

"I want to make love to you so bad, I feel like it's killing me." Nero's voice shook as he spoke and he stepped towards her, "You just don't understand how close I was to losing control without even realizing it." Nero looked away with a scowl on his face.

Kyrie heard him, but she didn't understand what he was getting at. Didn't he know that she came close to the very same loss of control?

"When you told me to stop, I came back to my senses..." Nero said in a low voice, "But when I looked at you...and saw you crying, I just..."

Kyrie looked on in silence as he bit his lip and looked up at the ceiling and closed his eyes, clenching his fists at his side. What could possibly be tormenting him this much? Surely this was the first time they had gotten so deeply lost in passion that they almost crossed the line, but how is it that they were not feeling the same reaction towards the situation? The important thing was that they stopped before it was too late. Right?

Nero opened his eyes and looked at her.

"...Did you want it?" Nero choked out as a tear rolled down his cheek.

Kyrie furrowed her brows in confusion. What did he just say? It was obvious to her now that he didn't know how much she was struggling too. Maybe he wasn't the only one who needed to open up about some things. Kyrie thought deeply and before long, something dawned on her. And she didn't like it. Not one bit. She was almost offended...

"Did I want it?" Kyrie repeated, thinking maybe if she said it, it would take on a different meaning than what she was thinking he meant by it.

Nero said nothing.

"I can't believe you Nero..." she began, "You must think i'm some kind of perfect person who couldn't possible feel those things that 'bad people' would feel. Is that what you think of me Nero?"

She saw him open his mouth to speak but she continued, determined to find out if her suspicions were true.

"Did I want it? You think if we go that far, it would be just because you wanted it and not me?" she didn't want to be so direct, but she decided to go forth anyway.

"In other words Nero, you would rationalize it to be rape?"

Nero looked away from her, confirming her assumption. She had never wanted to smack him upside his head before, but in this moment, she wanted to knock it right off his shoulders. Where in the world did he learn to think such crazy things? But even so, it hurt her to know that he believed she couldn't return the feelings he had for her because it wasn't the right time to act on them.

"Well?" Nero's low voice cut into her thoughts.

Kyrie was angry and hurt. She hated being falsely thought of as this perfect girl with no problems or struggles. He just didn't get it.

"Of course I wanted it Nero!" she said, now raising her voice a bit, "I wanted it to happen just as much as you did!"

Nero blinked and furrowed his brows.

"Was it proper? No. But that doesn't mean I didn't feel it. I'm human too Nero!" she looked him straight in the eyes, "You would have known that a lot sooner if you hadn't closed up and walked away."

"It's just that, I felt like..." Nero began, but Kyrie cut him off again.

"No. No Nero. I'm not going to let you just take the blame,when we both wanted the same thing! I want to give myself to you, because I love you too! If you think I don't struggle with controlling my feelings too, you're dead wrong. I want you just as bad Nero!" Kyrie stared at him as she finished speaking hoping she had gotten through to him.

The room was silent as they gazeded at each other. That is, until Kyrie broke the silence with another much needed point to emphasize. Since they were here, why not lay it all out in the open?

"I don't like when you lock up and don't tell me what's going on. It hurts me when I know something is wrong and you refuse to let me in, so we can work it out together. It's not fair. Don't you trust me?"

"You know I do Kyrie..." Nero responded.

"Then why do you do that to me?" Kyrie wanted answers although she believed she had an idea of what was going on now, "Do you think you have to hide from me?"

Kyrie closed her eyes and shook her head.

"I wish you'd understood that i'm a human being just like you Nero. I'm no more perfect than you or anyone else on this planet." she said, "I have no room or interest to judge you or anyone." She didn't realize tears streamed down her face until she saw water dripping onto the floor.

As she lifted her eyes to meet his, she watched him slowly close the distance between them and wrap his arms around her. In the back of her mind, Kyrie believed his reaction had nothing to do with him thinking that he was forcing himself on her. Nope. It had everything to do with acceptance. Everything to do with him thinking Kyrie judged him to be some kind of monster, instead of an imperfect human being like her and everyone else.

Maybe he knew all this and just needed to hear her say it. Or maybe he truly didn't know and needed her to tell him her thoughts. Whatever he needed, she was more than willing to give it as long as he brought it to her attention instead of shutting down. It's silly to think that anyone has room to judge anyone else when all people struggle with the same thing, though it looks different from person to person.

Love covers a multitude of sins. Does that make sin any less wrong or any less in need of correction? No, of course not. She knew that as long as progress is being made towards getting better, people and the relationships they're in will also get better and stronger. But to love someone despite what their sin looks like as they grow through it, reveals a God-given ability in a person that surpasses natural tendencies. It's supernatural.

Kyrie wanted Nero to know that she had her fair share of struggles too. That she was not this perfect and squeaky clean little girl that he was creating her in his mind to be. Being perfect was an unfair standard to hold any person to. She felt that if he understood that, maybe he would change the way he reacted to some things when it came to her.

"I'm sorry." Nero said in a low voice that was just barely above a whisper, "I never meant to hurt you. I just...I guess I didn't know what to do."

Kyrie could understand that. Sometimes she didn't know what to do when it came to Nero either. In a way, she was glad this had all transpired because a hidden issue was able to come to the surface and get taken care of. This sort of thing could have had an explosive result in the long-run had it gone unchecked. Kyrie thanked God that it didn't get that far.

Wisdom had always told her that there was a deeper and more serious problem at the root of every unpleasant experience, and that was further validated on this night. It's just a matter of looking below the surface of the situation at hand, recognizing the core of where the issue is coming from, and dealing with that.

"I'm so sorry baby." Nero repeated as he pulled her back gently to look her in the eyes.

"I'm sorry too." Kyrie responded, coming out of her thoughts.

No one said anything more as Nero's lips came down onto hers. Kyrie wrapped her arms around his neck as he gripped her waist and slipped his tongue into her mouth, deepening the kiss. Then Nero pulled back and rested his forehead on hers.

Blue eyes locked with brown ones and Kyrie anticipated another kiss, but to her surprise, Nero let go of her waist, shoving his hands in the pockets of his sweat pants and sitting down on the couch. Kyrie looked confused.

Nero scratched his head and glanced at her "If we were married," he started, "this would be the...uh...part where we...have make-up sex...so...yeah."

The awkward look on his face almost made Kyrie burst out laughing. She smirked and put a hand to her mouth, now understanding his sudden actions. She looked at the floor, blushing like mad, while sitting down next to him as he brought an arm around and pulled her close. A somewhat awkward and comfortable silence filled the air.

"Will you please stay Kyrie?"

Kyrie was a bit confused for a moment but then remembered as she looked at her packed belongings on the floor.

"Yes Nero, I will stay" she said before looking up at him and kissing him lightly on his nose.

He hugged her tighter and smiled as she smiled back at him.

"Good." Nero responded.

He picked up some popcorn from a bowl next to the couch and playfully threw it at her.

"Hey!" Kyrie giggled as she grabbed a pillow and smacked him in the face with it.

Nero's hair flew back and he grunted at the impact before he grabbed more popcorn and pelted her with it. Laughter filled the air as the two resumed their evening of movies and snacks. Kyrie knew that from here on, they had to be careful and know their limits. They had vowed to wait until marriage and that's what they would do. No exceptions, even if that meant refraining from some things in order to honor that. Because with the special love they shared, in the long run it would prove to be worth waiting for.