whyareyourightinfrontofme,
Fics written in script format like this one are not allowed of but there are other sites that are better suited for this story. I advise you take a look at Deviant-Art, they are wonderfully set up for chatroom, and interactive fics. More importantly though is that they're allowed there. Fanfiction is a place for more serious, and professional writing. Which is why they stress so much the beta system and using a spell checker.
I advise you take this fic to DA, or one of the other sites that allow this sort of story, and don't forget that you can put a link in your FF profile to wherever you chose to take your fic. It's also good advertising for yourself to have different stories of yours on separate sites. You'll reach out to a broader pool of people this way, and therefore get more reviews from people on (for example) DA discovering you and coming to FanFiction so as to read your other stories, and vice versa of course.
I wish you luck with both this story and your others, but I do have to insist that you take this one somewhere else where it's accepted. If you do not then I'll be forced to report you. If you have any questions on the rules of FanFiction, or about Deviant Art and how to set up an account then do feel free to contact me. I'm very willing to help you in any way that I can.
-GG Admin of Critics United
Ok, I was anticipating this, I have a DA account and in a couple of days I am going to post the link into the… dreaded. FINAL CHAPTER!
And btw im startin the undead friends up agen.