When Kurt awoke about an hour later it was with a start. He had been having a nightmare. Forgetting that Blaine was there Kurt reached into his night side table to retrieve one of his hidden razors and bring it to his wrist. He felt like cutting was the only thing to make the pain stop or at least distract him for a while. But Blaine had never been asleep. He had simply been watching Kurt carefully and trying to figure out what he could do. When Kurt woke up and grabbed the razors, Blaine immediately grabbed them from him, ending up cutting himself on the palm of his hand. Kurt jumped at the fact that someone was in bed with him but calmed when he realized who it was. When he saw Blaine's hand his eyes went wide. "I'm so sorry!"
Blaine shook his head. "No, I'm fine as long as you are," he whispered and stood up so he could get some paper to hold to his bleeding hand.
Kurt followed him. "I have a first aid kit under the sink. Let me clean it up then I'll make you your favorite dinner to make up for it."
Blaine turned slowly to face him. "Will you please eat with me?" he asked carefully.
"I'm not hungry, Blaine," Kurt shook his head as he moved to get the first aid kit out. "I don't mind making food for you. I like cooking for you."
"You're starving, Kurt," Blaine said gently. "I think.. Maybe you should try making some soup? We can eat soup and then go out for a walk or something so you can't think about it, okay?"
Kurt sighed deeply but nodded his head, "I-I guess I could.. try to have something." his voice was reluctant. He didn't want to be fat and he thought if he had a little soup he would never want to stop.
Blaine walked up to him and cupped his cheek with his uncut hand. "Baby, you're beautiful. I mean it. There is no reason for you not to eat. You had the most gorgeous body I had ever seen before you started losing weight."
Kurt gave Blaine a half-hearted smile before he pushed him down to sit on the edge of the tub. Once he was done bandaging the cut Kurt hesitated briefly before giving Blaine a small hug which made him smile. "You'll be okay," he whispered. "I'll help you understand how beautiful you are. You'll eat again and stop cutting and we'll be happy. I promise."
"Thank you," Kurt whispered pulling back "You... You're not gonna tell my dad are you?"
"I will if you don't start getting better," Blaine said softly. "Because in that case, we'd have to get you professional help."
"Why? I'm not crazy," he looked hurt.
"I'm not saying you are," Blaine said and shook his head. "I'm just saying that if you can't handle this yourself, we have to find someone who can."
"I can handle it myself. I'm fine," Kurt stood up quickly "Can we go get this over with please?"
Blaine frowned. "I don't want you to see it like that. You'll be alright; you just need to believe it yourself."
"I'm alright now!" Kurt snapped unable to help himself. "I don't know why you think I'm so bad off. I'm alive aren't I?"
"Yes," Blaine said, closing his eyes. "But..." He opened them again and allowed a few tears to slip down his cheek.
"But what?" Kurt begged desperately.
"You can't do this," he whimpered through sobs. "I just- You are beautiful and I just need you to be h-healthy! A-Anorexia is d-deadly if it isn't st-stopped."
"I am not anorexic. Don't worry about me okay? I'm a big boy, I can take care of myself." Kurt brushed Blaine's tears away with his thumbs. He hated that he was the cause of Blaine's current pain.
"Like you have taken care of yourself so far?" Blaine asked quietly in a sarcastic voice. "If you show no will of getting better, I'm going to tell your dad."
Kurt stepped back, "Don't you dare worry him for nothing! His heart can't take it."
Blaine bit his lip. Kurt did have a point there. "Th-Then I'll tell Carole. Or s-someone. You have to get better, Kurt!"
"Fine," Kurt choked out. He looked down as he began to cry again, sobbing. "Just p-please please d-don't leave m-me."
"Oh," Blaine said and quickly wrapped his arms around Kurt again. "I am never leaving you. Never, do you hear that? I want us to have a future together. A house and children and growing old together. We can't do that if you're not healthy, honey."
"I want that too," Kurt sobbed into Blaine's shoulder. Hearing those words made Kurt decide to get better no matter what. Even if that meant eating big meals and not throwing them up once he was away from everyone, "Will you make me something to eat? Maybe that lasagna you were bragging about earlier?" Kurt sniffed not letting go of Blaine.
Blaine pulled back and smiled as he rested his forehead to Kurt's. "I think it would be better if you ate something thinner to start with, like soup. How does that sound? I can make a quite good vegetable soup actually," he said as his smile grew.
"That sounds good. Blaine.." Kurt started but then stopped himself. "Never mind."
"What?" Blaine whispered and reached up to cup his face. "What is it, baby? You can tell me anything."
"It's just we haven't kissed in awhile. Like really kissed. I know it's my fault for not letting you near me and being disgusting and making you not want to be near me but I just... I miss it." Kurt admitted sheepishly.
Blaine smiled and ran his thumb across Kurt's cheek. "You're not disgusting. I've been dying to kiss you, but you just didn't seem interested so I couldn't pressure you. But whenever you're ready," he said and pouted with his lips adorably.
Kurt gave a large sincere smile before leaning in to capture Blaine's lips in a some-what heated kiss. Blaine smiled against his lips and kissed him back lovingly, yet a little heat behind it that had been stored up inside him for a long time. After a few moments Kurt broke the kiss feeling a bit light-headed. He rested his forehead to Blaine's while closing his eyes. Blaine pressed a kiss to Kurt's nose and cheeks and then a few pecks to his lips again. "I missed this..."
"Me too. And I'm sorry.." Kurt whispered while playing with a few of the curls at the back of Blaine's neck.
"As long as you're willing to fix this, don't apologize," Blaine smiled softly. "And if there would be someone to apologize to, it would be yourself."
Kurt nodded. "I'm...it's not really that bad is it? My body I mean.."
Blaine bit his lip. "I-It's pretty bad, Kurt.."
Kurt sighed and nodded, "We should probably go have that soup. I sorta forgot to ask my dad if you could come over so if he gets here and you're still here he'll kill us both." Kurt smiled apologetically.
Blaine shook his head. "He knows I'm here, I texted him earlier," he smiled. "I can stay until my curfew, at 11. But yeah, let's go make some soup!"
Author's Note:
Second chapter is up! Yay! I have up to chapter seven completed and just waiting to be edited which I will get to at some point or another. I might upload chapter three tomorrow but I'm still deciding. Anyone see the glee last night? With Come What May and all that other crazy stuff? I freaked out. Thanks for reader. Leave a review please :) Reviews make me very happy!