I OWN NOTHING, because the world would probably lock me up in an I-love-me jacket if I did.
XXXXXX
Making new enemies
Pamela Isley was a cute, attractive girl, as anyone would notice from looking at her even with her green skin. However, that said green skin made morons call her a freak. Some tried to use that to their advantage and score a date with her despite her appearance and dump her. That's how she discovered she had strange powers, one was a pheromone she could simply blow from her bare palms, as if they were a flower, and leave someone to her complete control. This trick worked wonders when she was once assaulted by common thieves and the sudden movements left some of those pheromones in their faces, making them return the money and hand themselves over at the police station.
The second power was from a smarter bastard that tried to get in her pants. She, alone due to her appearance, fell for his cheap tactics until she kissed him. The guy was soon sent to the hospital, coughing from the poison. When she went to visit, the bastard had shouted how angry he was that his plan to get laid failed because of her poisonous kiss. After that, her popularity had gone from low to the very bottom, save for a few true friends.
Her third power was discovered when she was in one of Gotham's botanic gardens. Some punks who were friends with the asshole who received her poisonous kiss had vandalized the place and all the plants were either burned or broken to pieces. The instant she touched one of her favorite bed of flowers they came back to life. Chlorokinesis; that was the name of the ability she possessed to control wood, vines, plants, fruits and flowers. She was basically Mother Nature. Some people from environmentalists groups asked for her support, and since her birth she had loved plants, and now loved them more than most human beings, she gave it a go. And now here she was:
"He's late." She sighed in the roof of the Gotham's Art Museum. Despite the museum having art it also had its historic halls and even some rooms designated to rare plants that she, after her powers were discovered, had worked on with a very kind payment.
But here she was, on the roof, which was also the cafeteria, drinking an organic grape juice in one of the empty tables atop the large building. There was an umbrella protecting her from Gotham's summer sun, but even without clouds the whole city was still a bit chilly. But her idea of wearing a fedora and a trench-coat like in the movies to hide her ID, her body needed air due to her half plant side, and her only coat had started to boil her, so she had to return to her apartment and leave it there after five minutes of walking with it.
So, suffice to say, she was irritable.
But, had she turned her head a few moments ago she'd have found her new employee - paid kindly by the city and the environmentalist groups she worked with for this new project of a clean Gotham - was also waiting for something: his fifteenth hamburger.
"Man, I worked quite an appetite on the flight here." Naruto said as he walked behind Pamela, carrying a tray filled to the brim with food enough to feed a family of ten. She wondered how the table, made of steel as it was, handled all that weight. That's when he popped his head over the tray with a large smile, "Ah, you're Pamela Is…Is… You're Pam, right?"
"Say my name right, at least." She huffed. She looked him over: black military clothes, no tags, an orange muscle shirt and a military cap with an old metal plate. "So you're the soldier Gotham hired? Naruto, right?" she asked curiously. He seemed to just be a year older than her.
He nodded as he, to Pam's disbelief, had already finished a double-meat cheeseburger before she could blink, "Been training hard with the team for some time, but this is my first mission."
Her disbelief turned into shock, "Y-You're a rookie? But I was told, by Slade Wilson himself, that they'd give me someone experienced."
"I have experience fighting." Naruto replied between his third and fourth hamburgers, "I'm, as Slade tends to call it, a child soldier."
"Wait, but a child soldier is someone who's fought in wars… Didn't you say this was your first mission?" asked the confused Pam.
"Working with the team, yes." He said as he finally went to attack the fries.
Then she put two and two together, "So, how much have you been fighting?"
"Since I was about fourteen years old. But I've been trained since I was six for any war…" he said, still sounding somehow carefree and even cheerful while pushing everything down with a soda inside what could very well be described as a bucket with a straw.
She felt afraid to ask, but, "Hey, how are you going to pay for all that?"
He smirked, "I'm putting it on Slade's account. Since he's not here I decided to have some revenge for every time he made me starve and live out of any frog I could find and eat every time he trained me." He said with a very large, happy smile.
Back in Alaska, Slade Wilson felt a sensation he thought long lost: fear. Meanwhile, Pam decided to let out a mental sigh of relief. Then it was back to making sure this guy's curriculum was worth the city's money, "So, how are you? In fighting, I mean. Besides, I also want to ask about your ability to be a bodyguard."
She then noticed something awe-inspiring, his tray was empty. The families, students and all sorts of visitors in the museum as well as the staff were gaping at how fast this one guy had devoured so much food. He clasped his hands above his head, as if saying a prayer to thank some deity for the food. But what Pam saw in his hands made her heart skip a beat: an arrow.
As Naruto ate he could sense that sense of killing intent emanating from one of the nearby buildings behind his back. He had heard the arrow coming his way, and thankfully right after he finished his meal, to move his hands up and clap, catching the arrow before it sunk in Pamela's heart.
The blond snapped the arrow in half with his knee, looking at where it may have come from, as the sniper – or archer in this case – had yet to leave the place. Now, one would wonder what would Naruto do in a museum without a weapon, because you clearly can't have anything sharp inside one. Problem was easily solved by grabbing his tray in both hands as a shield, an arrow now directed at him stopping inches from his heart and now nailed on the aluminum tray. By now the guests had made themselves scarce while the blond kept on using the tray to stop arrows coming his and Pam's way, also standing between the archer and the redhead. Once both walked to the nearest entrance to the museum and she entered first, the blond didn't come in after her. He threw the tray, with seven arrows in it, and ran at where he sensed the attacker.
Pam watched as her new bodyguard reached the rails of the roof, jumped, put a foot in the rails and impulse himself in the air. Everyone who saw the blond youth jump about two stories up in the air to the building where the archer was simply gaped, archer included.
The instant Naruto landed on the roof of the office building he was forced to parry a red bow with his right arm, using the left for support. Said bow was designed to be held as a sword for close quarter combats, and Naruto found out that despite it being blunt the one wielding it was decently strong. With his left arm adding resistance to the blow it was easier for Naruto to push the offender back and get into a loose battle stance: legs spread, left fist down and in front of his waist, right arm up and beside his head (Kazuma Kiryu's battle stance).
The archer was a young man about a year older than the blond. The guy was a redhead with short hair, had on a domino mask, those that look like a raccoon's, and wore a red, fitting outfit: boots, pants and even a vest were all red. On his back was a yellow sling-pack for his ammo, several arrows and some of which smelled like gunpowder to the kitsune.
The red archer smirked at Naruto, "Shouldn't you be taking care of your friend?" he asked; waiting for the idea to sink that Pam wouldn't be alone.
However, the idea sunk but not as bad as the redhead thought, "Who said I'd leave someone that cute alone?"
XXXXXX
The museum's gates exploded as people ran out. Pamela was right in the middle of the crowd as she stumbled between them down the stairs. Once on the bottom she attempted to move somewhere safe, anywhere but here. That's when she bumped into a large figure. It was a guy buffer than Naruto, and about the same age, with a square and stoic face wearing a black tank top, cargo pants and combat boots; he had short black hair and blue eyes that glared at the environmentalist in barely held cold hatred. There was also a red emblem on the guy's chest; it was a S inside a diamond shaped outline.
That was all her mind registered before he grabbed her by the throat, lifting her up to his eye level as she struggled to get free, but it felt like fighting against a press with her being trapped in it and with her throat about to become a squishy thing from the force in the guy's grip. But as her breath started to fade and her eyes rolled back she saw something black land on the guy's face. It was a bag, Naruto's bag.
The black haired boy took the bag off his face only to find a pair of black military boots slamming themselves right into his face. He was sent flying backwards, letting go of Pam. As her breath returned she found herself in a pair of lean but muscular arms, Naruto's. He smirked at her, "Yo, sorry it took me a while; I had to find my stuff." He stated, putting her on her feet and helping her up. The angry attacker rose from the ground while Naruto was tying his wakizashi's holster to his right thigh and taking his battle stance.
The raven haired boy growled, "Weren't you fighting Red Arrow?"
"I am." He said as he aimed a finger to the roof where a shocked redhead, now indentified as Red Arrow, got sucker-punched by Naruto(?) for being distracting at finding two blond boys.
The Naruto on the streets rushed in to attack now that the other boy was distracted, but as soon as he swung his fist the raven haired guy caught it in one hand. Naruto winced in pain as this guy had a very strong grip. He then tried to kick him on the side, but his opponent managed to capture his leg under his arm. Before Naruto could do a thing, he was being carried with his back being aimed at the walls of the museum to crush his spine into dust. There was, however, one way to reverse this, his free leg. Just as Naruto was about to hit the wall he moved his left leg behind him; using the wall as a step for his footing he brought his free knee into the guy's head and right into the ear, which caused the balance of the attacker to be lost.
The black haired guy fell to the ground, letting Naruto fall. The blond landed on his back, breaking his fall as best he could with his arms before flipping over his unceremonious landing back to his feet. The black haired boy simply rolled over his back and then face-first to the ground to slowly get up. From this Naruto easily deduced this guy wasn't a fighter, he was a brawler: brawn first, skill last. However, he had good reflexes to stop his sucker-punch.
And the raven haired boy also had an ego, "Ok, forget the target, I just want to kill you now." he said as he glared at Naruto.
The blond adjusted his cap, "Well, time to get to work." He said, getting in a different stance, both fists up and in front of him, weaving his upper body a bit and jumping on his toes. But the black haired boy didn't want to wait and charged at Naruto with a jump, lunging at the blond at speeds the kitsune didn't expect. Naruto yelped in shock before leaning his body back in a way his spine should have cried in pain, and if it did he ignored it as he had forced his head to hit the concrete ground to avoid a charging punch that split the lamp-post behind him in two.
"Ah! Damn it! It hurts!" Naruto grumbled as he rolled on the floor, nursing the lump on his head.
The people around him, rather the crowd around him, sweat-dropped at the kid's ineptitude at such a stupid trick from the Matrix movie. They had gathered to see someone actually fight Superboy, but were rather disappointed in what they were looking at. But what they saw as disappointment, Superboy saw it as anger, 'This is the guy who hit me and Red Arrow?!' he furiously snapped the remains of the lamp-post from the street and held it up like a club, intent on clobbering the blond to death.
Naruto's eyes widened as he saw the nearing piece of metal that would have smashes his head like a ripe melon had he not rolled away, "Whoa! Hey, take it easy!" he said as he sprung back to his feet with a hand on his beloved cap.
"Just die, you stupid waste of space!" Superboy roared while trying to smash Naruto's face in.
However, the blond proved to be more than met the eye, whenever a swing came his way he'd either side-step it or duck under it in a more stylish manner than his first evasion from Superboy's punch. It seemed as if he were reading the black haired youth's moves like an open book. The crowd were now stunned at watching the instant turn of events as Naruto didn't work a sweat, even keeping a hand on his military cap all the time. This, of course, irritated Superboy much more.
"Just stay still!" the boy roared, jumping with the intention to crush Naruto with the lamp-post held in both hands.
Naruto simply stepped forward, shocking everyone when he easily caught one of Superboy's legs in one arm and an arm in the other, carrying the ridiculously strong boy from one side before running at a nearby wall. He used Superboy as a ram-rod, but when hitting the wall with the boy's head, the strong assassin bounced off while the concrete of the wall cracked. Naruto let go of him and saw the buffer young man take the recoil by flying a few yards off the wall.
Naruto now crouched before the black haired boy who laid on the ground with his face eating concrete. The crowd was too shocked to think of anything coherent. Naruto simply took off his cap and shook it as if to take off the dust, "Hey, um… you wanna call it quits?"
Superboy was downright furious at that stupid question and jumped back to action, trying to deliver an uppercut. Naruto leaned his head to the side, holding his cap with one hand, and let the black haired boy stand up without even touching him. Superboy glared harder at the blond, "I'm going to rip your head off!"
Naruto dead-panned, "Pal, you need to chill."
"I'm not your pal!" the angry boy shouted at the top of his lungs as he charged the blond and kicked at him. Naruto crossed his arms in front of his face, using the impact to stand up. However, the force was too much and broke through his block, which Superboy tried to use to keep forward with the attack. However, once on his feet, Naruto spun on his left heel and delivered a solid roundhouse kick to the charging teen's gut, sending him back to the floor… or rather that would have happened had the guy who wanted the whiskered young man dead managed to grab a hold of his leg.
Naruto was swung around like a rag-doll in a tornado. He was let go so he slammed head first into the nearest tree. But before he could maneuver his body to right himself up, something caught him in the air. He looked down to find several roots around his torso, moving on their own before setting him gently on the ground.
Superboy glared at the one controlling the tree, a glaring Pamela who wasn't happy at all by being strangled. Soon more roots shot from the ground to capture Superboy, who reacted by punching and tearing them apart as fast as he could while they kept on coming.
XXXXXX
Meanwhile, the Naruto who had found Red Arrow was busy now that he had found himself in the sights of a second sniper. Right after sucker-punching the first sniper/archer he met today, another instantly attacked him from his blind side. The soldier of fortune dodged under a green arrow this time, before listening to a mocking female voice.
"Is that it, Red? I thought you said you could handle this." She was a slender female archer, fairly muscular and rather curvaceous, wearing a pair of black tight stealth pants, green combat ankle-high boots, and a green coat with a midriff, long sleeves hidden in black fingerless gauntlets and a green mask connected to the coat's collar with a black hood to keep her face hidden in shadows for extra measure. On her back was a sling-pack with arrows, in her hand was her trusty compound bow with a scope.
"Shut up, Artemis!" Red Arrow shouted at the girl before charging at Naruto with his bow held as a sword.
Naruto replied by catching one of Red Arrow's arms by the wrist with one hand, the other in a fist as he had it reeled back. He side-stepped Red Arrow, so he couldn't attack or counter Naruto's own counter. The blond then moved the arm with the fist over the one holding the red archer and in a swift motion delivered a whip-like elbow to the redhead's face. The first archer fell to the ground, holding his face in pain while Naruto managed to take the red bow.
Why did he keep the bow? Because Artemis was smart enough to aim at him while in the middle of the battle. Holding the bow in its melee form like its master did, the whiskered blond swatted aside an arrow that was aimed to his knee of all things. Artemis jumped back, flipping backwards in the air and landing on a large AC machine, the kind that are used for large buildings. She grabbed a second arrow and kept her distance from the blond who was now chasing after her.
She smirked when he was close enough and fired. Naruto, of course, swatted the arrow like the first one, but he did not know that both she and the other archer had customized arrows. After a quick explosion he was sent flying back with smoke around him. He landed on his back against another AC, leaving a decently large dent on it. He growled as he got up to his feet, used the bow he "borrowed" from the redhead archer to lift himself up.
Artemis had hidden herself around the ACs, and Red Arrow had decided to end the fight he started. "I'm going to blow your head clean off your shoulders." He stated, aiming a finger at Naruto.
"I have your only weapon, how do you expect me to feel threatened?" Naruto retorted, only to see in great dread how Red Arrow smirked.
"I am also known as Arsenal, did you know?" the redhead said as he raised his right arm, holding it with the left as if it were a rifle, and it sparked with electricity. The skin disappeared as the holographic image it was to show a metallic arm, which hand moved down from its wrist to show a laser canon (Yeah, the Young Justice cybernetic arm).
And faster than one could say, "Oh my god, you Metal Gear rip-off!" Naruto flipped backwards to avoid a red, hot glowing laser that barely missed his chin. However, the blond held said chin in pain as the heat of the laser was hot enough to give him a burn. It wasn't serious, but it stung like a bitch. The blond was currently holding his mouth and chin with his unarmed hand to try to lessen the pain and, unintentionally, shut himself up from saying a very loud blasphemy that would have made unborn babies cry.
Soon he felt Artemis nearby while Red Arrow, Arsenal… whatever his name was, readied another blast. Naruto grit his teeth to the point they almost squeaked as he jumped above the second blast and used the "borrowed" bow to deflect another arrow, this time hitting it on the rear rather than near the tip or else it'd blow up… Damn, that sounded dirty. However, bad innuendoes aside, the arrow did blow up behind him when it hit the ground, and all while he still held his aching chin.
He looked as the redhead prepared another laser blast, so thinking it was time to return the bow, he threw his only melee weapon back to its owner, right inside the canon. Arsenal screamed as his right arm sparked from the obstructed barrel before it blew up, taking his hand along it.
Artemis mentally cursed as she saw her partner lose his cybernetic arm. However, the fox-like blond was right in her sights and still airborne. She fired, watched as the arrow moved right into his back, where the heart was, only to gasp when he disappeared as a cloud of smoke. The only thing her arrow had hit was a… a log? How the hell did he get a log in the middle of the city?! Did he carry it with him?! Wait, what was that presence behind her?
Before she knew it, someone had slapped both sides of her head, right into her ears, with so much force she instantly fell down face-first.
Naruto sighed, touched his chin and winced. Good thing he was a clone, or else this burn would have annoyed the real deal for maybe a few days. The clone looked down where his real self was fighting; he then looked at Artemis and Red Arrow. There was something Wade had once told him: duct tape…. Yeah, that was it, only "duct tape." And from that day forward, somehow, Naruto always had duct tape with him. Why? He couldn't reason against Wade's logic for some strange, unexplainable reason. It just simply worked in a bizarre way around the universe's logic as if to defy existence. He honestly didn't want to know, Wade's mind, and therefore Wanda's mind, was a VERY, very terrifying place.
XXXXXX
Superboy couldn't move, flinch or even twitch in the most minimal way as he was trapped in roots and more roots like a cocoon. Suffice to say, when Mother Nature wanted her plants to be strong she got her wish. And Naruto, rather than let an opportunity to go slipping by, was busying himself drawing doodles – which were drawings of Chibi Naruto's - on Superboy's face, MUCH to the annoyance of the guy who tried to kill Pam.
"You wanna give up and tell me who sent you to kill Pam? Because this marker can't be deleted by either alcohol or even acid. I know, someone used it on me and I had a doodle of his mask all over my face." Curses and hail to you, Wade, for giving so many inspiring jokes that made people want to rip you in half.
Meanwhile, the crowd was both in awe and terror at seeing two people take on someone like Superboy. But soon, someone tugged at Naruto's pants, it was a small five year old kid smiling widely, "That was cool!" the kid said. "You went all like a ninja!"
Naruto couldn't help but grin a lot and stood up, "That's right!" he then took a pose, holding his cap's brim in one hand while his other aimed a finger up, "I am the Maelstrom of the Country of Flames! The hero who holds the strength of a hurricane! The man who can hold whirlpools in his hands!" he then flashed a grin at the crowd, hooking a thumb to his chest, "I am Uzumaki Naruto! The ninja with the power of a demon and the determination of a beast!"
Due to the very Kamina-like boast, children were either ecstatic or exploding in cheers, parents sweat-dropped, and Pam face-palmed while Superboy wanted nothing more than to bang his head against a wall until falling unconscious.
Pam could only mutter one thing that truly bothered her: "This is the guy who's supposed to protect me?"
XXXXXX
Meanwhile, in a dark, empty and oversized cave, several shadows looked upon the images of their teammates fail at the hands of such a doofus like this Naruto. Some were in disbelief, some tried to remain stoic despite their shock, and others wanted nothing more but to test their abilities against the blond ninja idiot. Behind them a large set of monitors a larger shadow stared at the images with interest on this newcomer.
A fast voice rang through the cave, "Man! Did they really lose to such a moron?!"
The larger shadow growled, "I wouldn't call him that. He has an interesting power in him…"
"What are you talking about, Master?" a shadow asked with the most respect he could muster, "He beat them just by luck and the help of our target. We simply need to pass by him and kill her, and then kill him for standing in our way."
A feminine giggled, "Oh please, my friend. Wouldn't you like to test your might against such an opponent in a more evened battle? He seems most… amusing…"
An animalistic shadow creeped from behind a much larger one, jumping into its right shoulder, "Yeah, Star? We're not some sadomasochistic psychos like you, ya know?"
A shadow darker than the others, certainly feminine by its figure but hidden in a hood, spoke in a monotone, "It wouldn't even be called a fight against such an idiot. The others lost because they underestimated him when they should have crushed him from the start."
A tall, buff shadow spoke indifferently, "A worthy opponent is what we have here, nonetheless. I wonder what my king would think if I were to surpass such a strong air-breather."
A new female shadow spoke with disdain, "It doesn't matter. He's still a human. He will be like all of them: greed incarnate. It is our duty to either eliminate him or have him under our will."
The larger shadow spoke next, "Indeed, Megan. However, I want this kid alive. I want to see, can he handle true darkness, or will he be just another snack for my games."
The submissive shadow nodded, "Agreed, it will be entertaining to see him fall. However, Master, you have to meet with that Isley bitch. Or else your public image may be damaged if you don't act kind and caring after this."
"Hmm… I guess you have a point… Fine, I'll indulge myself, and then see if this Naruto holds any worth at all."
Needless to say, the other shadows waited for his return, because one way or another, they were sure a fight would come soon, and that's what they had longed for in quite some time.
XXXXXX
And that's my rap! Sorry if it was short, but I wanted to put this part when my brain didn't stop yanking my nerves about it. Nah, honestly, I just felt the need to write this and start the fic on a better footing. Don't worry, there'll be the museum night fight, extended and with some Jackie Chan styled humoristic fights. Why? When people say "You break it, you pay it" it normally means bad things for Naruto.
And now, since a LOT of people begged me to increase the harem, this are the ONLY four gals I will add: Black Canary, Miss Martian, Starfire and Raven. NO more. That'd be ten girls, and already on double digits. If I put one more girl I will probably blow it. Here is what I plan for each girl in the harem (WARNING; some of these will be sappy to explain why I see this working):
Poison Ivy – Someone who has seen the cruel and greedy side of humanity finding a carefree idiot who just wants to enjoy life.
Blackfire – A duty-bound girl who wants to have fun and keep her sister safe find someone who always fights for what he thinks is right.
Lady Deadpool – A psychotic childhood friend who lost her sanity and innocence long ago, finding someone who can understand her in different levels.
Supergirl – A hate filled lass who finds a person with more reasons than her to hate everything and everyone helping others.
X-23 – A blade to take lives finding a shield who protects all.
Squirrel Girl – A flirty thief with a nag for jewels, especially sapphires if they shine line a certain pair of eyes she loves to tease.
Black Canary – A cold calculative killing machine, being more of a ninja than anyone else, Naruto's mission is to save her.
Miss Martian – Humans are selfish and beyond salvation… right? They only serve to be ruled over or eliminated… So why is he so different?
Starfire – There's such a strange, unexplainable fun when both are bloody. So exhilarating and yet so… so…
Raven – How can he understand her? How can they be so similar and yet so different? Why is he willing to save others, even her?
And that is IT! No more girls, and if any of you says anything about adding anyone else, I will block you. Those are my top ten, and even if I love Harley Quinn… she's my top thirteen. Sorry, but I'm a human being and I have the right to have a different choice than yours.
Swordslinger out!