I don't own the Vampire Diaries.

Chapter title from the Alisha's Attic song, 'Push it all aside.'

"It gets harder every time, we've both crossed the invisible line...

We're broken, who's gonna fix us, and put us back together again?"

Chapter 2 – When all the damage is done

Liz pulled out her phone and dialled, waiting impatiently for the call to connect.

A sleepy voice answered "Sheriff Forbes? Is something wrong?"

"Sorry to call so early but I need your help, it's important. Can you come over?"

"I'm on my way."

Liz had given Caroline a big enough dose of vervain to keep her out for a few hours, and had moved her in from the porch to lay her on the couch in the living room, resting her head in her lap. She slid her daylight ring back onto her finger and smoothed her hair back, thinking furiously. She needed a plan, or she'd have to dose her again to buy herself a day to work out what the hell to do.

She called in to the station to let them know she wasn't coming back in for at least the rest of the day and to ask one of the deputies to take over. For once, she was putting her daughter first, like she should have been all along. Maybe if she had, she wouldn't be in this situation.

She was pulled out of her thoughts by a tentative knock on the door.

"It's open!" she called, not willing to get up and move Caroline's head from where it rested on her lap. The door opened and Bonnie walked in, starting when she saw Caroline unconscious on Liz's knee.

"What happened?" she blurted, "Is she okay?" She saw the worry and indecision on the sheriff's face as she bit her lip and considered her words carefully.

"She's not injured, Bonnie. She's been vervained."

"By who? Was it Klaus? Why would he –" Liz cut her off.

"No, it wasn't Klaus. Bonnie, please sit down. This isn't easy for me to say, and I need you to stay calm. I need to know if you'll help me to protect Caroline."

"Of course. She's my best friend. We've had our issues lately, and with everything going on with Silas, and Elena, I haven't been able to spend much time with her, but you know I love her, so … what do you need? Wait … if it wasn't Klaus, who was it?"

"It was me." She passed Caroline's letter over to Bonnie, who scanned it quickly before looking at her in disbelief, the beginning of tears collecting in her lashes. "When I asked if you would help me protect Caroline, I meant even from herself. Can you do that?"

"I, uh. I don't know what to say to this, Sheriff Forbes. I didn't even know she felt like this, she never said …" she let the words trail off, looking pensive. Liz let her work out what she wanted to say. Bonnie looked straight at her, guilt plain on her face. "Elena's struggling with turning her emotions back on, so I've been a bit absorbed with that, and I've been having a hard time myself, letting go of Jeremy and dealing with everything … I ... I saw I had a few missed calls from Caroline and ... I didn't call her back. I figured she'd call again or send a message if it was important. I never thought ..."

"Bonnie, don't blame yourself. It's not your fault. No one noticed. I didn't notice and I'm her mother. We need to work out how to help her now."

"I'm in. I can't lose Caroline too. What did you have in mind?"

"I need a way to stop her trying to hurt herself at least long enough to get her to listen to me, and then maybe some help keeping an eye on her? I don't want to use more vervain if I don't have to, I don't want to hurt her. I need an alternative. I just think if I can get her to talk to me, I can talk her out of this. It's the heightened emotions controlling her right now, and I think she feels like she can't see any other way out. It's the only explanation I have, unless I've missed something huge."

"No, that's probably right – this is way out of character for Caroline, she never lets stuff get her down. At least she hasn't switched her emotions off like Elena, that would be a disaster. Why didn't you ask Stefan or Damon to keep her in the cell at the boarding house and talk to her there?"

"I don't want them involved. I see Damon as a friend, but he and Caroline … they have history."

Bonnie snorted at that, "Understatement." Liz glanced at her curiously. "Sorry."

"Anyway," Liz continued, "Stefan … I know he and Caroline are friends, but he's been leaning on her a lot lately, so I don't think he's in any state to support her right now. And he's been focused on the Elena situation. I know he cares about Caroline, but Elena has always been his priority."

"You could really say the same about me though. We've all let her down. I sometimes forget how much she's been through, and I don't even think I know about all of it! She's always seemed so strong in spite of it though. She really changed when she became a vampire, and although I wasn't happy about it at first, I think it was a good thing for her."

"I think she felt strong because she had Tyler to rely on for support. He gave her someone else to focus on and she knows he loves her. Because of what he is, he helped ease her worries about living forever too because she thought she wouldn't be alone. I think that's a big part of what has her so terrified now."

"I know you don't want to tell the Salvatore's," Bonnie said tentatively, "but I think the cell is probably the easiest way to keep her in one place long enough for a conversation." A thought occurred to her and she paused, "Wait, what about the council cells, where Elena put Stefan to dry out?"

The sheriff shook her head. "No, that's where Bill kept her. The last thing we need is to bring up those memories right now – it would only make her remember being tortured." She noticed Bonnie's wide-eyed look. "You didn't know about that?" she said, surprised.

"No. What? I knew he found out what she was and she was upset about some things he'd said, but that he tortured her? What the … what even happened? And why didn't I know about this?"

"I don't know, Bonnie. I thought she would have talked to you about it, as she certainly didn't talk to me."

"What exactly happened?"

"As far as I know, she was leaving Tyler's and Carol shot her with a vervain dart. She woke up in the council cells. Bill had her fastened to a chair and pumped vervain gas into the cell, deprived her of blood, and burned her with sunlight to make her fight off the bloodlust. He wanted her to learn to survive without blood and threatened to stake her."

"But … Caroline drinks from blood bags. She doesn't hurt anyone and she has great control, especially since she's still so new. Stefan isn't even as controlled as Caroline! Why would he do that?"

"I know, trust me, I know, but it's how we were all brought up, Bonnie. We were taught that vampires were abominations with no connection to the person they were before they died, and that all they wanted was blood. I don't agree with what he did, by any means, but I understand it to some degree."

"What happened then?"

"When Tyler realised what his mother had done, it was nearly dark on the full moon. He took Carol to the Lockwood cellar and she saw him transform. She agreed to help Caroline after that, and he called me. We went to get her, and after seeing how weak she was, covered in burns and her own blood … I've never been so tempted to shoot someone as I was right then."

Bonnie was in tears at the thought of what Caroline had gone through.

"Oh my god, poor Caroline – she forgave him anyway, didn't she? I know how hurt she was when he refused to transition, but I don't think I really understood it until I was in the same position with Abby. I can't imagine how hard it was for her to be there for me so soon after he died, but she stayed, and she looked after me, and then she helped Abby with the transition, and training … why didn't she tell me and let me be there for her too? Stefan was the one to tell me and Elena when she was captured by the werewolves – "

"What?! When did that happen?" Liz gasped.

It was Bonnie's turn to be surprised. "You didn't know about that? It was before Klaus came to town. Mason Lockwood's pack was looking for revenge on the Salvatore's for killing Mason, and Caroline got caught in the crossfire. Again."

"I'm starting to think there's a lot of things going on with my daughter that I don't know about. I'd ask you to tell me all the details, but I think I should ask Caroline."

"Good idea." Bonnie agreed. "So, considering her past experiences, the cells are a definite no. I'd suggest something like the tomb spell, but … um ..." she trailed off and took a deep breath. "I've been avoiding magic since we took down Silas." she confessed. "I don't have control – and using expression nearly killed me. The spirits won't help me anymore, either."

"It's okay, Bonnie. I didn't call you for your magic, no offense. I called you because, along with Elena, you and my daughter have been friends practically since you were toddlers, and you know her as well as I do - maybe better."

"You didn't call Elena?"

"I don't think she would be much help with her emotions switched off. To be honest, Caroline is my priority, and as much as I love her, Elena always seems to end up being the focus of everything, whether she intends to or not. I want to keep her out of this."

"I guess I can understand that." Bonnie said slowly, "I think I have an idea. We could take Caroline to my Grams' house. It has a converted basement, she used to use it for her consulting so it's comfortable and there's only one door and no windows. Do you think that would work?"

"That sounds perfect, actually."

"Do you want me to be there when you talk to her?"

"If you're happy to stay, I'd appreciate it. If she won't talk to me, maybe she'll talk to you. I'm going to take the week off work and turn off my phone. I need to spend time with Caroline right now. I just hope it's not too little, too late."

"Don't think like that, we'll talk some sense into her." Bonnie spoke with a confidence she wasn't sure she felt.

"I just need her to talk to me." Liz sighed.