Hiii everyone! I'M THE WORST PERSON EVER FOR MAKING YOU WAIT FOREVER FOR THIS CHAPTER! I kind of felt like I needed to watch the second Ouran DVD to get a better idea of how the Ouran characters should interact with one another, and I was right. I felt like I could add a lot more accurate depth to them after watching the second DVD (which is, by the way, TEN TIMES awesome-r than the first one!...That isn't a spoiler, is it?) Thanks for all of you that reviewed and subscribed! The first chapter went over a lot better than I expected it to! ^^;

Kind of the reason this came up so late besides the reason stated above is because I had to start this chapter all over. After typing up about two one-third pages up, I decided I wanted to totally change what was going to happen in this chapter since I couldn't think of anything to continue that chapter with and it was far too short anyhow. I like this idea a lot better anyway.

I gots a story I want to share with you guys. I went to Oni-Con '08, my first anime convention, for one day on Saturday. I got to meet Vic Mignogna (Ed and Tamaki's voice actor, for those not in the know) and bought a bunch of stuff in the dealer's room and artist's alley, which was to be expected of. Anyway, the thing I wanted to share was that while I was in Vic's 11am Panel, I saw an Ed cosplayer in an Ouran uniform in the first row! I never got to talk to them because me and my friends had to rush to the Ouran panel that was starting immediately afterwards, and I never saw them for the rest of the con. I'm probably flattering myself in even wondering if that cosplay was inspired by my story. ^^;

Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy the second chapter of Fullmetal Pedigree, and please don't hate me for the uber lag on the update of this story! Hopefully I can get the third chapter up faster than this one! ^^;

Fullmetal Pedigree!

Edward sat impatiently outside the infirmary. It took the medical staff forever to allow him to stay instead of going to lunch, even if he couldn't be in the room with Al. Obviously, they sensed the strong bond that the brothers shared; either that, or they were just plain scared of Ed (and if you ask me, I believe it was the latter.)

Damn rich people… Ed thought to himself, it's all that narcissist's fault that I broke the chandelier. I was just minding my own business, when all of a sudden; he just picks me up and calls me short! He doesn't even KNOW me(1)!

While he thought such thoughts and profanities about his new peers, one of said peers walked right up to him, seemingly out of no where. "Uh, yeah…" he—wait, no, that was the brown-haired girl—said. She had one hand behind her head and turned to look back from where she walked from, as if people were watching her and she was nervous. Ed merely gave her a cock-eyed look. He couldn't be bothered to deal with any of them right now, and he honestly couldn't care less why she wasn't in her lunch at that given moment.

"What do you want?" Edward hissed. He knew that girl hadn't done anything to wrong him, but, again, he was thoroughly irritated with that group, whoever they were.

"You broke a chandelier," she said, with a bewildered look on her face. (She's one of the ones who, even though they witnessed it, did not believe Ed actually broke the chandelier by the means that he did.)

"Yeah, and? Can't you damn rich people just pay for the damage yourselves?"

"Unfortunately, we cannot," she laughed to herself, "You sound just like me." She sat down next to him. "I'm just a middle class citizen, but I came here on a huge scholarship because I'm a straight-A honor student. The same for you and your brother, right?…I hate all these damn rich people sometimes too, but…they grow on you after a while."

"…Then how the hell am I supposed to pay my debt?" he inquired, totally ignoring her attempt at a touchy-feely moment.

"You'll do what I did," she said, "become a host." A puzzled look suddenly crossed her face. She seemed to be studying Ed's facial features.

"…What're you looking at?" Ed couldn't help but ask a few seconds after the silence.

"Oh, it's nothing," she said, snapping back to reality, "it's just…you wouldn't happen to be a girl, would you? I mean, it would explain your small stature and your long hair, and you do kind of have some girlish facial features…"

Ed couldn't be anymore offended. "HELL NO! WHAT WOULD GIVE YOU THAT IDEA?" he yelled, completely outraged.

She was ready to defend herself immediately. "It's nothing! It's just…never mind…"

"…It's because you're a girl, right?"

"…What did you just say?"

Why does she seem so surprised? Ed wondered. "You're a girl, right? I must be blind not to be able to tell," he repeated, completely casual, "well, if you are a girl, why are you in a boy's uniform?"

After a moment of silence, she sighed, defeated. "Biologically, yeah. It's a long story."

"I'm not leaving anytime soon," he settled into listen. This was the first time since he arrived in this strange place that he had actually given his listening ear to someone.

"Well, okay. I guess since you are a host now, you were going to find out anyway. On my first day of school here, I was just looking for a quiet place to read. There were four library rooms, and not one of them was quiet! Eventually, after some long searching, I came across a room that was seemingly perfectly quiet: Music Room #3. Sound familiar?"

Ed nodded. "Go on."

"All right. So, of course, I entered, in spite of myself. Just as you had, I was attacked by rose petals; the kind with the smell that just sticks to you. That smell didn't wear off me for a long time, which explains why the host club members always smell like roses…anyway, when I entered, they instantly mistook me for a boy. I didn't have enough money to buy a school uniform, so I just threw on whatever for the day. Anyway, one thing led to another, and I ended up breaking a vase. The debt on that stupid thing was eight million yen; an unbelievable amount of money that I could hardly think of accumulating by myself. At first, I was their errand dog for a while, but then they forced me into becoming a host, and half of them were still thinking I was a boy. Anyway, things led to other things, until they all, one way or another, found out I was a girl. They're the only people in the school who know my secret, and they intend to keep it that way. And now…you know, too."

"Wow…" was all Ed managed to say, "Tell me, that blonde narcissist, was he one of the ones that were the last to find out you were a girl?"

"You mean Tamaki-senpai? Uhm, yeah…he was the last to find out, and he didn't realize it until he saw me in my underwear."

Ed snorted. "How thick can he get?"

She scrunched up her face, but decided to evade that conversation until another time(2). "I'm Haruhi, by the way," she said was a tiny smile, "Are you a foreigner? Sorry, but I had to ask, your name is just so unusual."

So is yours, Ed thought to himself, but he pushed that thought out of his head.

"I guess you could say that…" it sounded awfully suspicious, but Haruhi didn't seem to mind.

"And your footsteps."

"Huh?"

"Like you don't notice?" she said, "Your footsteps. They're uneven-sounding."

"Oh, that? That's just, uh…the way I walk. Yeah. I was in an accident when I was younger, and I've walked like that ever since." He was telling the truth; just not the whole truth, but can you honestly blame him?

Haruhi gave him a suspicious glance. "O-kay…" But she didn't question him again. She was sure he had his own personal reasons, and he did. "Maybe you should go now. I think Alphonse will be okay if you're not there when he wakes up. He'll understand."

"I guess you're right…" Ed sighed, pushing himself up. "I don't even know where I'm supposed to be."

"Everyone's still in lunch right now. That means its host club time. Follow me." Haruhi began walking on her route to Music Room #3.

I am totally going to regret this, Ed thought to himself. But he followed her anyway.

Fullmetal Pedigree!

"Well, if you go by his height, he would be the loli-shota type, but Honey's already gotten that covered…" Ed resisted the urge to go into full-on short rant mode. The one that had said that was Hikaru—or was it Kaoru? Ed was still unable to tell, even after just being told moments before the difference between their parts.

"His type doesn't matter at the moment. Let the ladies decide, shall we?" Tamaki, the "king," (though Ed thought him to be anything but) said.

Seconds ago, along with learning everyone's names, he learned about honorifics in addition to just exactly what this host club thing was all about. The whole idea seemed incredibly idiotic to him. He was hardly enthusiastic about entertaining girls that have way too much time on their hands. He also didn't understand how any of their "customers" could actually feel content with themselves when they knew it was all an act. It was sickening to him, really. But he knew he had to suck it up and do it.

"So…when do I start?" Edward asked warily.

"Why not start now?" Tamaki asked, "Like they say, no better time than the present!"

You know I really hate you right now, right? Ed thought to himself. Instead, he forced a smile and said, "Yeah, you're right." Out of the corner of his eye he could tell Haruhi was giving him a look that obviously meant that she knew he was completely faking.

Thus, the barrier between Ed's true feelings for the hosts and how he portrayed himself to them was starting to set in stone.

Fullmetal Pedigree!

Edward was forced to entertain Unnamed Girl A, Unnamed Girl B, and Unnamed Girl C(3). How they could all be so love-struck from only hearing a few words from him was beyond him.

"You're a foreigner, right Edward?" Unnamed Girl B said. (I'd explain how he decided who would be A, who would be B, and who would be C, but the only person it actually makes sense to is, well, Ed.)

"Yeah," he said, just nearing combustion. It was about the hundredth time anyone had asked him that question in the past five minutes. Why did the girls felt the need to ask even though Tamaki had pointedly introduced him as such? Idle conversation, maybe? It would make sense considering the circumstances. Ed thought that these girls needed to get a real hobby. And yes, at this point, he couldn't care less that out of the hundred times he had been asked the same question, he had more-or-less lied in response.

"What made you move to Japan?" Unnamed Girl A inquired.

"Err…my father, he…we had to move," he said, trying not to remember too hard about what he had witnessed only days before(4), "Me, him, and my brother."

"You have a brother?" Unnamed Girl B said.

"What grade is he in?" Unnamed Girl A said.

"Why isn't he a host, too?" Unnamed Girl C said.

"He's not in this stupid host club because it's a freakin' waste of time! I was forced into this club because that egoist you call a king made me break a chandelier!" At least, that's what he wanted to say.

"Yeah, he's a first-year. Actually, I have a debt to this club I needed to take care of." He was at least allowed to say that, wasn't he?

"Oh, like Haruhi!" Unnamed Girl C said.

"The host club is so creative in getting commoners to pay their debt, aren't they?" Unnamed Girl B praised, more to the other girls than Ed.

WHAT?! Hardly! They're just a bunch of sadists! And I am not a commoner! You should've seen how I was in Amestris when I was made of military paychecks, you rich little—!

"Yeah, I'm pretty fortunate they didn't put me in a dungeon or something," he said, trying to humor them as best he could, even though he felt like doing anything but—not here, not with these spoiled brats that were sad excuses for young ladies, not with these poor excuses for members of an elite private academy. He'd rather be back at home, catching up with Al. Even if they didn't have a place they could even call a shelter yet.

Suddenly, Kyoya—the glasses guy—came over and dismissed the ladies.

"So, do you mind if…" Unnamed Girl B started.

"…we requested you for tomorrow?" Unnamed Girl A finished.

"Yeah, I'd really appreciate it!" Bubble-headed brats.

The girls got up, curtsied to Edward, and left the club room. Edward got up with a heaving sigh and loosened his tie, which was really starting to get on his last nerve along with all these damn spoiled rich people.

"How was your first day, little rookie?" Tamaki was suddenly hovering over him. Ed looked up—he had to, because of the extreme height difference. That's when he realized the subtle short joke.

"WHO'RE YOU CALLIN' SO SHORT THEY COULD BE THE LOLI-SHOTA TYPE?!" he fumed.

"Uhm, I think that would be you," he said, hardly stricken by the outburst itself.

"WHY YOU—!"

"GUYS! Please!" Haruhi was suddenly between them, possibly saving Tamaki from a broken nose. She was prepared to keep Ed back with all her strength, but it seemed she didn't have to. He restrained himself to mere snarling when she threw herself between them.

"Haruhi…" Tamaki muttered, stepping back away from her.

At a distance, the twins, Hikaru and Kaoru, observed the scene.

"Looks like Haruhi's gotten to someone else, hasn't she, Hikaru?" Kaoru glanced over at his older twin.

"Yeah…" his brother responded in awe.

Fullmetal Pedigree!

~Footnotes!~

(1) Those of you who watched the first DVD set over and over and over and over again should get why this gets its own little footnote. 

(2) Yeah, that totally wasn't a hint at some Haruhi X Tamaki right there, of course not.

(3) SOLD~I~ER A~! SOLD~I~ER A~! THE UNSUNG HERO OF ANIME~! Okay, I'll stop now. Vic Mignogna fangirl much.

(4) AHH! SPOILER FOR THE MOVIE! But I'll say it anyway since this is heavily based off the movie anyway and it shouldn't really make sense if you haven't seen the movie…

You know the part when Envy's dragon form goes CHOMP on Hohenheim? Yeah, that's what he's trying not to think of.

/

DUN, DUN, DUUUUUUN!

What'd you guys think! Review, review, review!!!

BTW, I love writing in Ed's POV in this story. I know it sounds evil, but I love writing to bitterly! This story helps me get my anger out. X3

PAIRINGS QUESTION! IMPORTANT!: Okay, I know I said at this beginning that this story didn't have any pairings, but now I'm starting to think otherwise. What I would like to know is, would it be too weird if there were cross-universe pairings, i.e. Ed X Haruhi? I'm already a huge Haruhi X Tamaki fan so there will most likely be hints of that throughout the story (see footnote 2), so maybe I should just keep it as that, but maybe there could be a love triangle? It's all up to you guys! I don't want to put something in here that you guys don't want to read! ^_^ Let your voice be heard!

CHAPTER'S REVIEW QUESTION: What sort of "weird happenings of Ouran" would you like to be in this story? Stuff like Ed and Al meeting Nekozawa, you know.