Goodbye cont'
Title:
Goodbye
Author: Alexis Sacrifar
Genre: Angst / Romance /
Tragedy
Pairing: GinKira
Disclaimer: I do not own
Bleach
A.N: Continued from 'Learning to say Goodbye'...hey i've
been slacking off the BleachContest didn't i?? I'll catch up next
week... Character death...just trying to keep is short and simple/ -shudder- Oh Gin...-cries- Oh!! My volleyball sponsor has ran off!!
How dare she!! Anyways. Rowella your request for Bya x Gin is
accepted. Lemme think...
The night was cold and lonely, bitter. It was winter, and how long has it been since Aizen's betrayal? Only Kira knew the exact time. The act lay heavy on everyone, the loss was great. Sereitei never lost three captains in one go, and with its own foundations shaken to bits at that.
Ever since then, time flew for Kira. Yamamoto sou-taichou had promoted him to the rank of a captain, as was expected as Renji looked on enviously. He should be happy, he knew, as he bowed to take the white haori from the captain commander, but he just couldn't put a smile on his face. There was never as second, a day when he could stop thinking of his silver haired captain. As he drew on the white haori, the significant mark of a captain, he felt it settle heavily upon his shoulders. He didn't want this, didn't want to be captain. What would he give to get his beloved captain back? Days progressed into months steadily, but his wish fell empty. As he watched the third division bow to him, he felt nothing but grief. He was not captain, never one.
'Well, Kira taichou, i suppose...congrats?' Renji clapped him soundly on the back after the ceremony.
Kira taichou...the title didn't suit him at all.
Cold winds rattled his window, and Kira sighed, straightening up from the stack of books he had been sorting through and stretched. Seeing that it was winter, he had mercifully let his fukutaichou home early to prevent him from freezing to death. He remembered the way his lieutenant had been staring at him when he had dismissed him.
'But it'll be freezing in the office at night, taichou!! You'll catch a cold!!'
Kira merely shook his head. How cold was cold? It couldn't be colder than his heart ever since Ichimaru left, he bet. Even now when Yamamoto sou-taichou shivered beneath the thick load of blankets, he felt nothing at all. Just a persistent dull ache in his heart, as a reminder of what he had lost. Standing up, he sighed heavily, looking to the heavy oak desk that used to be Ichimaru's and now was littered with his own things, and ran a hand over its wooden, slightly coarse surface, remembering the times when the sly captain would sit behind the desk, chin resting in his hand, and quietly observing the on-goings around him.The times when Kira would try to secretly clean up the cluttered desk when Ichimaru was away, only to be spun around and pushed back upon the table, soft lips tightly pressed against his own. That was right, Ichimaru came and went suddenly, without prior notice, like a cat. He should have known that Ichimaru would leave him from the start.
'Ichimaru taichou...' he murmured, running his hand over the edge of the tabletop, before letting it drop...
And froze as a hand caught his and pulled him back to collide with a warm, solid body, cold steel pressed to his neck, the blade forcing him to tilt his head backwards, exposing the pale skin. How could he not have noticed an intruder behind him?? Too careless. Heart pounding, he moved his free hand to wabisuke's hilt, but was stopped as the sharp blade pressed down harder, but not yet enough to cut.
'Don't move, an' be quiet.'
He froze again, but this time not out of fear, but in disbelieg. That familiar soft, lilting accent...he closed his eyes, tears brimming. Could he...dare he?'Ichimaru taichou, have you come to kill me?'
That was the first sentence Ichimaru heard from Kira, as he held the small, cold body to him, Shinso's blade, naked and deadly, pressed to his lover's neck. He couldn't see his face, only his back. His hand shook as he held Shinso in place, but he steadied it quickly. So Kira was captain now in place of him, from the white haori he was wearing, the vest making Kira looking even smaller. He felt the small form shudder beneath his hands, breathing in ragged, short gasps, but unresisting, commiting himself to him, at his mercy. He looked at Shinso lying on the slender, thin neck, and swallowed.
Just do it, make it quick, and leave...He pressed down harder, sparking a gasp from Kira as the blade bit in, red blood welling up and spilling down onto Kira's uniform.
Do it, kill him.He couldn't. With a cry, he pushed Kira harshly away from him, and sheathed Shinso with a metallic hiss, before lunging for Kira and wrapping a hand around the blonde's neck, lifted him bodily up into the air, strangling him.
He watched as the blonde thrashed in the air, hands scrabbling uselessly at his neck, flailing, his face turning redder every second from the lack of air.
'I...Ichima...ru...t..taichou...' Kira gasped, choking.
Kill him.But he just couldn't do it. He threw Kira away from him into a wall, and turned away as the third captain slammed into the wall and dropped to the bottom in a crumpled and groaning heap, coughing. Memories flashed through his mind, as clear as if it was just yesterday, him and Kira, whispering heated words of promise to each other, words that he will never be able to keep. He hated himself, regretted it. He wished that he had never fallen for Kira in the first place, if it was to see the lieutenant's blood stain his own hands red. How he wished that it didn't have to be this way.
'T-taichou...?' he heard Kira shift from his position behind him, still gasping for air, voice shaking.
'I'm na ya taicho' anymore, Izuru.' Ichimaru sighed, turning around, suddenly weary. He was tired, exhausted of everything. Kira was still the same as ever, he mused as he watched him disentangle himself from the pile of books and jump to his feet. What changed, was that Kira had became a little thinner, shadows lying beneath his eyes, looking haggard. His eyes, however, remained innocent and trusting.
'Taichou...'
'I said i'm na' ya taichou anymore, Izuru!!' he repeated again, this time, more harshlu. Reaching out a hand tentatively, the urge to touch Kira overwhelming, to convince himself that he wasn't dreaming. 'Do ya hate me?'
'No...how could i, Ichimaru taichou?' Kira closed his eyes as Ichimaru brushed light fingers across his cheek, tracing his features like he always did, and shuddered as he felt lips upon the bleeding cut on his neck.
'Gomenasai...'
It was so hard to believe, that Ichimaru was standing before him, like a dream, dressed in the pure white robes that would mark him as Aizen's comrades. His presence was so close, so real...Kira opened his eyes to look into Ichimaru's, feeling the weight of his grief over the months fall away, drinking in Ichimaru's face, before his eyes settled on a dark purple bruise carefully concealed beneath powder on Ichimaru's left cheek, and noticed a scar leading down from his neck to disappear further down into his pristine white robes.
He reached out a hand to touch them, but Ichimaru had batted him away, his face usually unreadable, now a mixture of anguish and repulsion. 'Don't...'
'Did Aizen taichou-'
'Shh, Izuru...' Before he knew it, Ichimaru had kissed him. 'Ya feelin' so cold now, Izuru.'
'I'm not.' Kira broke away, blushing. He saw Ichimaru move slightly, as if making to hug him, but then suddenly, Ichimaru was gone and reappeared by the door.
'Ya must take care of ya own body, Izuru. I'm na' here with ya anymore...promise?' Ichimaru sighed, back facing him. 'And then, forget 'bout me.'
'Taichou!!'
He saw Ichimaru turn, regarding him for one silent moment...
'Sayonara, Izuru.'
And then he was gone, leaving behind nothing but a single strip of white fabric fluttering down to the floor, the only indication that he had been there. Kira went to the door and picked it up, holding it to his chest, tears now rolling down his cheeks freely.
'Ichimaru taichou...'
He should have done this a long time ago, he supposed. Let it go, leave everything behind. Today will be the last time he'll be saying goodbye. Heart pounding, he turned a corner, feeling the reiatsu behind him draw closer. He was never anything to Aizen after all, just a play toy. He should have known, and did what he was supposed to do at the start.
He felt his pursuer draw closer again.
Why was he fleeing in the first place anyway? He didn't know.
Walls, white walls. Endless, twisting corridors. Was there an end to it?
Dark brown doors flashed past as he fled through the corridors.
Behind him.He turned, glimpsing Aizen's face in the blur of his surroundings.
His eyes. Cold, hard, emotionless. Was that regret? Impossible.
Sometimes, he wondered what he had ever accomplished in his life at all.
The flash of a blade. Burning, searing pain.
Aizen was smiling.
Then...nothing.
A.N: Aah...just review!! I did this in a hurry!! Don't flame me. Wanted to add an emotive poem but can't find any that was good enough... Mas Selamat is still on the loose i think