Chapter 2: Ghosts
XXXXXXXXXX
(Thanks going out to Winterheart2000 (Glad to have you along!), Kittykins (Update granted!), Wildwind13 (Thank you so much!), Willow (You've got it!), Aizenfan6969 (You're so sweet!), Periwinkle (Glad you like it!), Yukino76 (Thanks so much for reading!), Featherfoot (Here you go!), PrivateCaller (I see you there!), and ShariBerry89 (Victor's past is definitely weighing on him.) Enjoy the new chapter, and a Happy Mother's Day to all of the moms out there! Thanks to my mom for teaching me to love reading and writing. That is the best gift ever! Love and kisses, Spunky)
XXXXXXXXXX
Yuuri sat silently on an examination table, watching as a young male nurse carefully wrapped his injured ankle.
"Doctor Crespo will be in with the results of your x-rays in just a few minutes," the nurse informed him, "As soon as I'm done, here, I'll go and bring your fiancé in to see you. He's been pretty anxious about how things are going."
"That sounds like Victor," Yuuri sighed, lowering his eyes, "I really upset him."
The nurse gave him a sympathetic look.
"Are you in any pain now, Mr. Katsuki?" he asked.
"Yeah," Yuuri admitted, "It's pretty bad."
"Okay, I'll let Doctor Crespo know so that he can prescribe something for you."
"Thanks," Yuuri said, dispiritedly.
"It's no problem," the nurse answered, smiling encouragingly.
Yuuri watched the young man leave, then turned his head to look out the window.
Victor is right to be angry at me. I was stupid, trying to do difficult jumps when I had been drinking. I wonder if he's still mad.
He heard the door open and looked back to see Victor entering the room. He read his fiancé's serious expression and felt his heart sink.
He's worried, but he's also still angry.
I guess I deserve it, but…
"Yuuri."
It's weird. Victor has been mad at me before. He usually just yells a little and we work things out. This time, he's angry, but it's like he's holding it back. I can see the tension in his body and hear it in his voice, but it's like he's trying really hard not to let it out. We both know I deserve it. Why won't he tell me what I already know he's thinking? What's going on with him?
"Hey, Victor, I'm sorry they made you wait out there for so long."
"It's fine," Victor answered quietly.
He moved closer to Yuuri and slipped an arm around him.
"Are you in pain?"
"Some, but the nurse said that I'll be getting something for that."
"You should be sure to wait long enough after drinking…"
"We've been here for hours, waiting to get in, then x-rays, then the MRI. I think it's been long enough. It's already morning."
"Hmm."
Yuuri bit his lip gently, fighting back threatening tears.
"I know you're still angry."
"I'm not angry," Victor said, more quietly.
"I can tell you are," Yuuri insisted, "and I deserve it. I was careless with my body and I got injured because of that. You're my coach. You've put nearly a year of effort into training me. You took time out of your own training to do that, and I thanked you by…"
"Stop it. I know you're sorry," Victor said, blinking back tears of his own, "I just hope this is a sprain and nothing is broken in the joint."
"Yeah, I hope so too," Yuuri agreed, leaning into Victor's embrace.
Victor managed a sad smile and kissed the top of Yuuri's head, then rested his chin there. The two held each other silently as they waited together.
I know I already said that I was sorry, but I wish there was a way to make things okay between us again. Usually, Victor doesn't stay upset for very long. He has a hot temper, so he lets it out and it's usually gone. I've never seen him hold back like this. It's almost like he's afraid to let me know he's still upset.
"You're shaking," Victor said suddenly, "Are you cold? You can use my jacket."
"No, it's okay," Yuuri assured him, "I'm not cold, just a little scared."
"I am too."
The two stiffened as a soft knock sounded on the door, then the doctor returned to the examination room.
"Yuuri, Victor, thank you for waiting," he said cordially, "I've looked over your x-rays and I still found no breaks. We'll have the results of the MRI in a day or so. In the meantime, I am going to give you a brace to wear when you have to be on your feet. You are a figure skater, so you already know what I'm going to tell you."
Yuuri nodded.
"Rest, ice, compression and elevation."
"Yes," the doctor affirmed, "Do not put any weight on that ankle until the results are in and we know if there are any small fractures in the joint. We will treat this carefully, because, as a competitive skater, you put a great deal of pressure on your hips, knees and ankles. Now, were there any other injuries? My nurse said you felt a little dizzy when you first arrived. We didn't see any signs of concussion."
"It was probably that I'd been drinking champagne," Yuuri suggested.
"There is no dizziness now?"
"None," Yuuri assured him.
"Good," the doctor said approvingly, "I've prescribed pain medication that you can take as needed, until the pain can be controlled by over the counter medication. Start with one capsule and use a second if the first is not enough. Be sure to wait long enough for your body to have fully metabolized the alcohol."
Yuuri nodded.
"I will, thanks."
He sat quietly, only clenching his teeth slightly at the discomfort as the doctor placed the heavy brace on his ankle, showing the two how to adjust and remove the device.
"If our specialist finds any breaks, I will call you back to place your foot in a cast. Hopefully, it won't come to that, but you are going to have to be very careful as you recover, not to re-injure yourself, Mr. Katsuki."
"I understand."
"I will be calling in a special therapist to work with Yuuri as he begins to train again," Victor informed the doctor.
"That is a good idea."
"Thank you, Doctor Crespo," Yuuri said gratefully.
"Take care, Mr. Katsuki," the doctor answered, smiling at him, "I want to see you competing again soon."
"Thank you."
Yuuri watched as the doctor left the room, then looked at Victor silently.
"We should get you back to the hotel," Victor said, helping him to his feet.
Yuuri cooperated quietly as the two picked up his pain medication, then caught a taxi, heading back to the hotel. They exchanged only a few words during the ride and even fewer as Yuuri undressed and settled into his bed. He laid on his back, resting his injured foot on several pillows.
"I don't know if I'll be able to sleep this way," he sighed wearily.
Victor gave no answer, but slipped his jacket off and removed his shoes, then he laid down next to his injured partner, snuggling up against Yuuri's side and holding him gently as he drifted off. But as soon as Yuuri was sleeping, he left the bed and retrieved his shoes and jacket.
I should sleep, but I feel too unsettled. It's too early for drinking, so maybe a long walk. Anything to break the tension. I know Yuuri senses something isn't right with me. I want to talk about it, but I just feel it happening all over again. An accident on the ice. Doctors. Reports. Waiting and hoping.
He left the hotel and walked down the street, heading into a nearby park, following a pretty, hedge-lined path.
Disaster. Disappointment. A growing distance.
His feet stopped, and Victor's tired eyes focused on a pretty red flower with one blackened petal. He drew in a slow, shaky breath, closing his eyes and hearing Evgeni's voice in his mind.
"Get out, Victor! I don't want you to see me like this!" the blonde skater screamed, his voice breaking.
"You don't know what you're saying," Victor insisted, trying to sound calm, but a tremor invading his voice, "Evgeni…"
"GET OUT! I DON'T WANT YOU TO SEE!" his injured friend howled.
Victor's face paled.
"That's crazy, Evgeni," he whispered, his eyes tearing, "What are you saying? I love you. I want to help you!"
"Are you stupid or something? I told you I don't want you here!" Evgeni shouted, "You heard what they said, Victor. Even if they can heal it, it will be forever before I can put on skates again."
"That doesn't matter!" Victor shouted back, laying a hand on Evgeni's arm, only to have it pushed away roughly by the other man, "Evgeni, stop it! Don't be like this. Lots of skaters get injured. It doesn't mean that it's over."
"It's over for us," the blonde man snapped, closing his eyes tightly, "Get away from me, Victor. I can't look at you without feeling sick inside. Just go. Please, just go."
Victor turned towards the door, pausing to let his teary eyes meet their coach's.
"Yakov," he managed in a harsh whisper, "take care of him. And…let me know when he's willing to see me."
Victor sucked in a shaky breath and rubbed at his eyes.
Yuuri is not Evgeni.
But even the truth in the words gave him no comfort.
He probably only has a sprain, not a break. Evgeni's leg broke. Yuuri's ankle was just twisted. Even if it takes awhile to heal…
He felt a quiver inside as he remembered the long, lonely days after Evgeni had left him.
That was when I decided that I could only find new strength alone. I threw everything I had into my skating, and it made me famous…but it was all built on throwing things away at the end of every season and starting over. I did the same thing in my love life. I never dated a man other than Evgeni. I only saw women, and it never lasted long. As soon as I saw their eyes begin to look settled when they looked at me, I ended it. People thought I was screwing around because of how many women wanted to be with me. In truth, I wasn't running to them, I was running away from the memory of the person I loved. I opened my heart to Evgeni. I was ready to spend the rest of my life with him, but…I don't know what happened. I don't know why he left me. What did I do wrong? Did I say something wrong? What was it?
I don't want to make that mistake with Yuuri.
I don't think I could handle it if he left me.
Victor startled as he felt his phone vibrate. Blinking to bring himself out of the haze he felt himself in, he glanced at the number.
"Yuuri," he whispered, his heart aching.
Why am I so afraid to go back there?
Yuuri is not Evgeni.
He is Yuuri Katsuki, and I know that he loves me.
He won't leave me.
Yuuri won't leave me.
He stared at the flashing numbers, unable to move as the phone continued to vibrate in his hand. When it finally stopped, he stared at it until it vibrated shortly, once more, to signal the arrival of a message. Taking a steadying breath, he pushed the buttons to hear the message.
"Victor, I woke up and you were gone and there was no message. Are you all right? You were pretty upset before. Can you call me?"
Victor sighed and touched the button to stop listening.
"Hey," a male voice called out from behind him, "Victor."
Victor turned and found a scowling Yurio standing a few feet away, watching him.
"What's going on? How is the pork cutlet bowl doing? Is he okay?" the younger skater asked.
"It looks like a sprain," Victor answered in a weary voice, "but we are waiting for the results of the MRI."
"So, what are you doing out here in the cold, staring into space?"
"Yuuri is sleeping."
"Bullshit. He just texted me, looking for you, which means he texted you first and you ignored him."
"I didn't ignore him," Victor said, irritably, glancing at his phone again.
Damn it! Three messages? I thought it only vibrated that once. He texted twice also.
"I should go back."
"You want me to go with you?" Yurio asked, "You look a little rattled."
"I'm fine," Victor lied.
"You know, you're a shitty liar, Victor."
"Get out of here, Yurio," Victor sighed, closing his eyes.
The younger man's scowl deepened.
"If you don't love him, then you need to tell him," Yurio growled, "Don't be a douche and string him along, thinking you'll tell him later. He's a little piggy, but leave him some pride."
Victor let out a piqued breath.
"What makes you think I'll ever leave Yuuri?" he asked, shaking his head.
"He's there, worrying about you and you're ignoring him. If you're not leaving him, then you're asking him to leave you."
Victor frowned.
"You think he's going to think that?" he asked.
Yurio crossed his arms and glared at his friend petulantly.
"What the hell would you think if it was him doing this to you?"
Damn, he's right!
Yuuri…
XXXXXXXXXX
Yuuri picked up his phone and quickly read through his friends' replies.
"Victor," he breathed softly, "where are you?"
His body throbbed, through his back and hips, down his right leg and in his injured ankle. He glanced at the clock and sighed in relief that enough time had passed so that he could start his pain medication.
Ah, but I left it in the bathroom.
He sat up in the bed and picked up the foot brace from the nightstand. His hands fumbled with the device, and he managed to slide his foot in, but struggled to remember exactly how it was properly fastened. As he worked with the stubborn straps and clips, the ache in his body grew more powerful. Sweat broke out on his face and he panted softly in distress.
Come on, it can't be that hard! I should be able to do this. It'd go faster if I wasn't hurting so much my eyes are watering.
He let out an impatient breath and let the annoying device drop onto the floor. Moving cautiously, he climbed out of bed, putting all of his weight on his good foot and holding the injured one away from the floor. He took a few hopping steps to the end of the bed, groaning as the jolting motion made his other sore joints ache more fiercely.
It hurts so bad, I feel dizzy.
I need that medication.
He took a shuddering breath and let go of the bed, gritting his teeth as he hopped towards the bathroom. With each jolting move, his discomfort and dizziness grew, until the room seemed to spin and his injured foot lowered to the floor. Instantly, harsher pain shocked his body, and Yuuri's vision darkened ominously.
Oh no!
He felt his body falling and fresh pain radiated in his head. Victor's frantic voice sounded far away, calling his name repeatedly. But even that faded into the rushing sound that filled his ears.
"V-victor," he whispered, catching just a glimpse of his lover's white face and frightened eyes.
Victor, you came back.