1. Place
He can't find his place, can't get comfortable. It's been like this since the crash, somehow they all survived, with barely a scratch, But this nagging anxiety, that this isn't right and something is missing or out of place. Going through the motions of fighting with Vyvyan, harassing Neil to make tea, trying to understand whatever it is Mike is going on about, man speaks entirely in riddles. But that's what it is, just going through the motions. He thinks the others might feel it as also, well at least Vyvyan does, he thinks, he just doesn't hit as hard as he used to, and his words rarely sting anymore.
2. Sideways
At first, Rick kept giving him sideways glances, then it turned into heated stares. It was starting to get under his skin. Mike would be talking to him about his latest conquest, and he would feel Rick's eyes on him; or when Neil was supposed to be handing out supper but was to busy bemoaning his lot in life, waving the ladle in the air, that none of them got food that hadn't hit another surface of the kitchen before it made its way to their bowls, there was Rick's stare. Someone was bound to notice soon, and Vyvyan didn't have the slightest clue how to explain it, if he was questioned about it. He was going to have to handle this, but he didn't have the foggiest clue how, and he didn't think his trusty cricket bat would do the trick. He would have to confront him, possibly with his fists and tell him to stop being so poofy. He knocked on Rick's door harshly, it sounded like Rick tumbled off his bed "What is it? What do you want? "
"Open the door virgin!"
The door clicked open, revealing Rick shirtless, in his trousers not fully done up, with a bit of lace peeking out. "Took you long enough Vyvyan"
The punks mouth went dry as his face flushed, and he was dragged into the room with the door shutting behind him.
3. Studying - connected to previous 16 Mess
"SHUT UP YOU POOFY BASTARD"
"I'm so terribly sorry Vyvyan, was I interrupting you"
"Rick, if you don't shut your trap, I will be forced to kill you. Now Shut The Bloody Hell Up!"
"I don't see why I should, it's a free count… " ::Thawk, Thud::
"Silence at last"
*ten minutes later*
"Really Vyvyan, there are better ways to handle situations than with violence.. "
"SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP! "
"No, I don't think I shall"
"Grr, look go to the basement grab some paint, paint the lounge, let me finish my revision in peace, so I don't lose my grant, and I will take you to party, alright poof?"
"What is this a twick or something"
"No just go, or I will use your spleen as my final project"
And that's how the lounge got painted while Mike and Neil were away.
4. Murder
Alan B'Stard killed his parents, cut the breaks on their car, to ensure his seat as a Thatcherite puppet. Rick has been sitting on this information for months now, still unsure what to do with it.
5. Bandages
"Poof, why is my room ransacked?" Vyvyan shouted through the anarchist's door while slamming his shoulder into it.
A click of the lock, made Vyvyan catch himself on the door frame as it opened inwards. "I don't know what you are talking about Vyvyan, Why would I want to do anything in your room, it's dis-gusting, I could catch something." "You're going to catch something alright, if you don't tell me what you were doing in there" He said as he grabbed Rick by his shoulder and started to drag him towards the upturned bedroom "It wasn't me, and really how could you tell it's been ... " Rick stuttered to a stop as he looked at the mess strewn about the punk's bedroom. "Well, I don't know what to tell you Vyvyan, it wasn't me" "Well then if it wasn't you, you poofy bastard who was it then? Neil knows not to go into my room or I will kill him, and why would Mike bother" "I don't know, are any bandages missing, maybe his girlfriend got a puncture?"
6. Tattoo
"Rick?"
"Yes Michael?"
"Not that I pay much attention to your life there Rick, but is that a bit of Biro on your arm there?"
"No it is not Mike."
"You care to elaborate on that there, because I don't even think you could get a spot that big"
"Not really Michael, but if you must know, it's a Tattoo"
"Where'd you get that?"
"At a tattoo parlor"
"Rick stop playing dense and explain your arm"
"It's a tattoo, Vyvyan got it for me for my birthday"
"Vyvyan got you a tattoo for your birthday"
"Yes, and really I have to get going now, I will be late for my demonstration, and really stopping Thatcher's henchmen from passing more unfair and ridiculous laws, is by far more important then my arm I should think."
7. Jealousy - Bachelor Boy's reference
Dear Diary,
Vyvyan announced today that he was in a relationship with Prince Andrew. I was protesting Neil being a hippy at the time, standing there with my willy all out, as I found out that Vyvyan really is homosexual. Why isn't it me? I'll have to burn this, so it's never found. I called the papers, said I was Neil, sold them the story. Now that's revenge. Take that Vyvyan, for not choosing me, you'll have to deal with all the papparazzo.
Vyvyan just came storming into the house, claiming his relationship was over, apparently the prince left him for Sarah Ferguson, oo-err, maybe I can get him on the rebound. Love and kisses, off to burn this now.
8. Hair
"Rick, Neil isn't home, so get your behind in the bathroom right now and help me with this"
"Umm Vyv, I don't really know what you have going on with Neil, but really if you have been having relations with him in the bathroom, I really don't think I want to be involved"
"Rick shut your mouth and get in here"
"Really now Vyvyan, I don't happen to think this is in way appropriate"
"Rick, for the last time, get in here, I am not trying to touch your bottom now, I need you to dye the back of my head, you nancy"
"Well isn't that the pot and the kettle Vyvyan, I think it's a bit poofy of you to be dying your hair, Wait a blooming moment, what do you mean that your not trying to touch my bottom now, what do you mean by now?"
9. Turtle
"Guys, guys come out here into the garden and meet my new girlfriend, right yeah"
Baffled looks overcame the faces of Neil's housemates as they walked to garden, beyond curious as to who could possible date the dirty hippy.
"Neil you unbelievable moron, that's a turtle in a wig, most certainly not a bird"
"Now now Rik, to be fair it's a tortoise" the punk informed him.
"tomato tomato fellas, we know all the birds go to me, now Neil, where is the tea? And put that wig back in my closet!" Mike said walking back to the kitchen table.
10. Call
They got a call from Rick's friend Sue, to come down to the Kebab. Upon entering Vyvyan, Mike and Neil were lead to the door to the back alley. A scuffle could be heard, the sound of bodies falling into garbage cans, and wood hitting flesh. To only discover the most unexpected thing. Rick giving the a vicious beating to a biker almost twice his size.
Rick fighting like a junkyard dog, was the most beautiful thing Vyv has ever seen.
When it was done and somehow Rick had won, he wiped the blood from the corner of his mouth, looked Vyvyan straight in the eyes and his only remark regarding the affair that he would give "What did you think I was incapable of fighting back."
11 Connecting
Rick thought the most surprising thing about Vyvyan are the freckles he has splattered across his shoulders and upper back. It's a contrast to his otherwise almost translucent skin. When Vyvyan is in a deep sleep, curled up in Rick's bed unlikely to awake, Rick likes to draw imaginary lines connecting them, hoping one day they'll be close enough that the punk will let him draw actual lines.
12 Following
Rick slammed into the house, trying to shut the door quickly, to keep the bald four eyed creep out.
"Look, Richie just because you got younger and uglier doesn't mean you can just ignore me now!"
"Look, I am not this Richie fellow, my name is RICK, and if you don't go away, I will call the pigs! "
Vyvyan came thundering down the stairs. "Ploopy pants, what are you squawking about now?, Oh hell, Uncle Eddie, what are doing here? "
"Wait you know this creepy degenerate pervert? What am I saying of course you do." Rik was cut off by a gentle rap at the door. "Neil, there's someone at the door!" Rick screeched into the communal area.
"Yeah but you see Rik, I am meditating and you have interrupted… "
"I don't care, shut up hippy"
The knocked sounded again followed by a tentative hello.
"Richie is that you? Are you a ghost come to haunt me?" Eddie fell to his knees, looking like he was about to start sobbing.
"Imbecile" Rick muttered as opened the door. Richie smiled bashfully while walking in and delivering a gentle slap to the back of Eddie's head. "I told you not to run off, why did you leave?"
"There was a pub, how'd you find me? I thought you died and came back as this girlie swot"
"I followed the trail of broken pint glass. "
"This is all very nice but would you mind leaving now" Rick gritted out.
"Well there's no reason to be rude" Richie huffed as he lifted Eddie off the ground and out the door while the drunkard exclaimed "Nephew you should buy your uncle a pint sometime you bastard"
Rik slammed the door shut in there faces the moment they passed over the threshold. "I hope I never see them again, how ridiculous… " he trailed off muttering as he ascended the stairs to his room.
"I would of liked to have gone for a pint with my uncles" Vyv said to no one, as he grabbed the kettle knocking Neil over the head with it. "So where's my tea you hippy? "