I'm glad you all liked the last chapter. I forgot to mention that this is based like six months after Tommy leaves so it's like early summer.
Jude's POV
I know everyone is worried about me, especially Sadie and Portia. Every since Tommy left, they've been trying to get me out of the house. Hell, they've been trying to get me out of my room. Before Tommy left, I always kept what I really thought and felt, locked away in a little bottle inside my head. Now that he's gone, I don't feel the need to. I've been to the about five times since that night six months ago. I even heard there was a new Instant Star. Karma, was her name. From what I've heard she's a real bitch, but if I were to meet, I'll probably put her in her place quick.
Not only has my attitude changed, but I life style has changed also. I've been sneaking out of the house in the middle of the night. I usually go to clubs when I get calls from guys I've met, but other than that I go and sit by the airport. The times I do sit by the airport, I watch the planes take off and land, wondering if Tommy might be on one of the landing ones. Wondering if he was on a landing plane so he could come home. Come home to me. You're probably saying, " Jude, he's just a guy, get over it," but he's not just some guy and I can't get over it. Sadie said that he probably left because he got someone knocked up. Portia said that he probably couldn't handle the pressure. I don't know what to say.
I've been sitting in this lounge chair, starring at the waves that are formed in the pool water. They're look like clouds sometimes, they just wash float away, just to start over again. Sometimes I just want to be like a cloud and float away.
Darius is worried about me, I could tell. He was always trying to find a way to get me back in the studio. I just can't handle it. I know it's been a while, but I'm not ready. Kwest, might have been my producer for a bit, and I might not know him as well as Tommy, but I know he's worried. Everyone is worried about me. They're worried about my mental state, but they don't seem to worry about my emotional state. They don't worry about how I feel like I'm not good enough, or that I don't feel worthy enough.
I just want them to realize what's really going down...