The urge to scream immediately fights against you, and you find yourself burying your face into a towel, releasing a muffled cry- both of confusion and anger. You don't know why your subconscious would even bring up that bastard and you don't know how you're certain it's him, considering you haven't seen each other in about three years since Al joined your world, but it feels so painfully certain.
You stare into the sink, which was half filled with icy cold water, and your reflection stares right back into pale, honey gold eyes. 'What is with this reaction?' The question echoes around your mind and you search through every possible explanation your mind can constitute. 'You're not in-love with him, obviously.' The thought almost makes you want to break out into a fit of hysterics. It's an impossible thought, even if you were to develop feelings, they surely wouldn't be returned, or so you think. Nonchalantly brushing the situation off and setting it aside to examine later, you dry the rest of your face and head down the stairs to join Al for breakfast.
When the match is struck, sparks of flame flare behind it and within a blink of an eye, they've dispersed. Bending down to the hearth, you light crumpled paper in three spots before returning back to the bench beside the fire place, watching as the flames grew larger, consuming the paper and attacking the twigs. The fire entrances you; its reflection dances in your soft eyes as the warmth consumes you and welcomes you further. It's no surprise you're amazed by fire considering you're a well known alchemist for using the advanced art of flame alchemy, but you have stopped using it ever since that one time three years ago. You've even relinquished the white gloves with the familiar array on them.
You rub your eyes- well, the right one and the black patch where the left one used to be- and sigh, listening to the wind as it rapped against the window across from you, bringing large snow flakes along with it as they settle on the sill. You wonder how many days or months you'll still be here in the same old cabin where it always seems to snow. Of course, you chose to come out here and honestly you'd prefer to stay out here, since civilization and being in large groups of people have lost your appeal, and you still do pay visits to Central. Often times, if you do not show up, Breda or Havoc would be sent out to bring you another care package or to check up on how you are.
You've also given up on lying to yourself.
You're still waiting here for him.
When you were once restored to your alchemy, you did try working in Central for a few months but something was still wrong and you felt very restless. The reoccuring dreams also stopped, which caused you to feel even more anxious and somewhat empty as you longed to see that golden hair or the usual scowl on his face. It was almost like you're a prisoner, confined here because you simply can't let go of the past.
Or because you don't want to.
You are also afraid of never having the comforting dreams again. This is your only outlet because screaming your heart out to dead silence and snow never helps, and there will never, never be another replica of him. You'd rather hold onto the ethereal one that clings to your dreams and haunts your every waking thought.
Once your boots come off, and the constricting military jacket you settle back into your bed not expecting to fall so quickly into sleep but it grasps onto you and slowly absorbs you until your body is weightless and all your anxieties vanish from mind- but only for a little while until you're pulled into a deeper sleep which brings you into the world which you long for and love. He's sitting there by the dying fire bundled up in that heavy red coat he always wears while the dim firelight causes his hair to shine a brilliant gold. When you speak his name he turns to you staring in awe but it slowly melts into a gentle smile as if he's mocking you.
"Mustang," Edward turns towards you while standing up slowly. "You look pretty awful." He laughs but all you can do is walk towards him with a weak smile on your face. "I think if you were stuck out here for two and a half years, you'd look miserable too." You speak silently as the fire crackles and breaks the sound barrier and surprising the younger boy, making him flinch a tiny bit. The smile slowly disappears from his face as his eyes soften and trail away from yours. You can't help but reach out and wrap him into a tight embrace- which was much easier now since he had grown a bit but you refuse to comment as it would ruin the moment- but he doesn't refuse the embrace, oddly enough.
"Fullmetal, where have you been?" You manage to say without your voice wavering. Edward leaned into the embrace, bringing up his arms to wrap around your torso, and this surprises you because you always expected him to reject any emotions you happened to send his way. He lifts himself up onto his toes (and you have a hard time resisting the amusement that wanted to show on your face) and whispers quietly to you, "I've always been here, just, not in a physical form," He was always good with getting around whatever question you flung at him. "Also, drop the 'Fullmetal' I'm no longer an alchemist, the alias isn't needed." At that you mentally flinch from the bite of his words. "Alright, Edward," you laugh as you say his full name hoping to get some sort of reaction from him, but nothing you receive nothing of that sort.
After you feel the pressure of Edward's arms disappear from your torso, you release him and take a step back sitting down on the bed beside the fireplace. He joins you, lightly resting his cool metal hand on yours while scanning the dark room looking for something to comment on. The only thing he does ask about is your left eye as his automail hand left yours to relocate to your face, lightly brushing the dark fabric that covered the scarred mess of your eye. "What happened..?" He tilts his head and you think of a smart response to top the one he said earlier. "The world is an imperfect place, and seeing only with one eye has made me realize this." You say as he leans in closer, lightly touching his lips to the edge of your cheek bone. You lightly take his hands, both automail and flesh, in yours as the connection between your cheek and his lips are broken.
Neither of you mind, at least until your lips find his and you can feel the heat radiating off the younger boy's face causing your lips to break into a slight smile, much to Edward's annoyance. When you break away to catch your breath, Edward pulls you back into another heated kiss, holding it for a while until finally breaking away breathing a little heavily. You chuckle, "I never knew you felt that way about me, Edward." You can see the blush rising up from the collar of his shirt all the way to the tips of his ears. "S-shut up.." He manages to stutter before you slide your hands out of his to grasp his wrists, pushing him down to lay flat on the bed while he makes a surprised squeak.
"What are you doing you b-" You cut off his sentence with a gentle kiss and lay beside him gently brushing the hair from his fringe behind his ear. "Just admiring the view." You say with a smile, as Edward gently kicks your leg.
You both stay like that until the fire dies out, hands entwining and exchanging kisses every so often until you're both to tired to continue so you lay there staring into each other, basking in his warmth. It was like finding a light in the seemingly always cold, dark world, and for a second you don't feel empty anymore. But when you awake, the room is dark and cold while the wind still buffets the window begging to be let in.
You've lost your light, and you're getting tired of this.
You demise a plan to share worlds with him once again.
AN; yes i have the second chapter up ! I've been dying to get this up sorry if it seems rushed, or has any mistakes. I didn't get my beta to look over the bottom half x_x;;