Mandy: You are all probably thinking that we're going to HELL.

Summer: Sorry to tell you this, but we're already there. :)

Mandy: It's quite nice, but if you come for a visit, be sure to bring your sunscreen. It's a little warm.

Summer: We're at the pool, sipping ice cold cocktails. At a cocktail party, with cocktails.

Mandy: Jealous?

Summer: Anyway enough sharing how nice hell is. On with the story.

Mandy: We've been over this before, we own absolutely nothing. Nothing at all.

XXX

Dumbledore entered the Teacher's Lounge with a twinkle in his eye and a smile plastered on his face. He was wearing a striking set of blue dress robes that just so happened to match his eyes. His mood was as bright and cheerful as his clothing. The other teachers, regrettably, were not in such good spirits. Why, you might ask? It was a beautiful Saturday morning and they were stuck inside the castle, deciding the fate of the poor bastard who would have to teach sex ed to the student body. The children, they believed were, undeserving of such a cruel and torturous ordeal. Even Professor Snape, who always had enjoyed torturing the children, but this was over the top and it affected him too.

"Good morning, staff!" a gleeful Headmaster greeted a frowning audience. The teachers offered no reply. They just wanted to get this meeting over with and the hell away from Dumbledore and his crazy ideas.

"I realize not all of you are as optimistic as I about this new coarse, "Dumbledore went on, not phased by their reactions.

"You can say that again," came a mumble from Professor Snape's general direction.

"But I assure you that it will be one of the most enriching experiences of your lives thus far." Dumbledore went on, ignoring the comment. "I know that I'm looking forward to the day I'll be teaching."

"Wait," interrupted Professor Mcgonagall through pursed lips. "What do you mean the day you teach?

"Well, my dear professor, since I can't find a permanent teacher to fill the post, I've decided that we will all get a chance to widen the horizons of our students' knowledge on this particular topic." It sounded to some of the teachers as if Dumbledore thought they would be happy about this.

"This only leaves the small decision of who will be the first to have the honor of teaching," Dumbledore announced.

"I have an idear," Hagrid growled.

"Yes, dear Hagrid," Dumbledore said invitingly.

"Let's play spin the wand!" Hagrid stood up excitedly to voice his epic pronouncement, not fully understanding what was going on.

"Brilliant idea!" exclaimed Dumbledore. "The first one to kiss the headmaster wins."

Dumbledore levitated his wand into the air, and it began to spin. All the teachers (except Hagrid) were holding their breath and praying to god it wouldn't land on them.

And of coarse the unlucky (or lucky, as some might call it) professor is...

Summer: We know we're mean. And this time Mandy typed so feel free to guess how many times she swore.

Mandy: Thankyou everyone who reviewed. And for anyone who's wondering, Summer said dammit 30 times.

Summer: Please review! I love you so much!