"Dear Mary, you have a most peculiar enjoyment of that book of sermons. I cannot imagine what it's passages contain that cause you to smile so?" Mary shut her book carefully and placed it on her lap. She changed the subject abruptly, "I do believe you mentioned we are to expect a guest, I was quite engrossed with my book – do remind me who will be joining us?"
"Colonel Fitzwilliam, you met him at the wedding Mary. Darcy's cousin?" she looked at Mary expectantly, though Mary's blank expression confirmed that she did not remember him. Elizabeth frowned. "I am sorry Lizzy, of all your sisters, Mama had to send me to you! What a poor specimen of a young lady I make!" her tone was light, but Elizabeth knew she meant it. "Do remind me though, what Mr Darcy's cousin looks like?" Lizzy laughed. Colonel Fitzwilliam was a favourite amongst all the ladies he met, his manners and easy conversation much celebrated. Only her Mary would fail to notice the most eligible bachelor of her acquaintance. Elizabeth sighed, she understood too well why that was so. Now that she knew what it was to love – she could not fathom a life without her own Fitzwilliam, and was certain she, like Mary, could never find another man worth considering if misfortune befell them.
"Mary, you must not think so. You are not a specimen to be paraded about. I do not wish you to be uncomfortable here, you are our most welcome guest. There is however, something I wish to speak with you about. May I?" Mary nodded suspiciously. "I admit that I could not understand your continued grief when Frederick had his accident" she checked that her sister was not too disturbed by the subject, "…we all loved him so dearly, he was a brother to all of us, and yet so much more to you, it was right that you were so much more affected by his loss, however…" Mary was unsure how long she could maintain her countenance, almost five years had passed, and most days she found that she was able to think of him without the sadness overwhelming her. "…as the years passed, it was distressing to see you continue in your grief, you were so altered, we selfishly wanted the old Mary back. I want you to know that I am sorry." Mary was clearly not expecting that, her expression showed that she was taken aback. "Whatever are you sorry for Lizzy?"
"I am sorry that we urged you to forget him and move on. I am sorry that we forced you into this" here Lizzy looked pointedly at her spectacles that were too big for her face, at her hair, pulled back into the most unflattering style for her features, and her gown, high necked and brown.
"You think me in character then, Lizzy?" her sister nodded cautiously "I think we have all suspected your behavior a long time, Mary." Mary sighed, she had been so put out when her mother regarded her one day before exclaiming that she still had it in her to catch a good man. Frederick had been then gone but two years! Mary had been taught from her infancy that her future was with Frederick, and they had both been devoted to the match, their temperaments perfectly suited, they were very much in love. She was to be Mrs. Frederick Summers, it was a fact. Until it wasn't, and would never be, and yet Mary could not consider marrying without love, and it was not possible to love anyone the way she had loved Frederick – she had simply determined she would not marry. When Mama persisted in throwing her in the way of eligible young men, she had to act. She would make sure that no man would want to show her attention.
Mary tossed her glasses on the table and handed Elizabeth her book. "Open it Lizzy" she was resigned, to ending her charade. She had been increasingly tired of keeping up her act. Lizzy looked shocked before she laughed heartily "Oh Mary, have you been reading novels all these years?" she laid the book open on the table, its original contents had been discarded, in their place sat a neat copy of 'Evelina'. "I do enjoy them so Lizzy, they were my escape from reality" she paused, taking a breath, before confessing, "Oh Lizzy, the last few years have been a lie! I tire of pretending. I do not need glasses! I do not like brown! I hate sermons! I can play the piano and I can sing. I want to have enjoyment in my life again Lizzy. But it seems if I am myself with no act, then I am to be married, and I do not wish it. No man could ever…" she did not need to complete her sentence. Her sister's hand was on hers, and she was regarding her with the saddest eyes filled with understanding. Elizabeth sobbed quietly "then my guilt is tenfold, we forced your hand Mary! Let me make amends! I will speak to Darcy, you will never need to marry, unless you wish it!"
Mary felt excessively relieved, the dual burdens of keeping up a rather elaborate pretense and keeping her act a secret had been so tiring. It was not until she confessed all to Elizabeth that she realized how much weight she had carried under her performance. The sisters spoke late into the afternoon, through tears and laughter. They embraced as they parted to dress for dinner, and Mary felt all the promise of a new beginning.