Thank you for the feedback! Also, a HUGE thank you to Jacking. Peeta's. Style for editing, writing many parts of this story, and creating the title.

I play with the small diamond ring, trying to ignore the pencil and paper sitting before me. What can I write to Gale after he's given me this? "Sorry, but I don't think I'm ready for marriage, even after dating for three years?"

And then there's Peeta too.

I finally focus and begin writing to Gale, a little easier than I imagine writing to Peeta would be.

Dear Gale,

I love you. I already miss you so much. I wish you didn't have to go. Remember what our fathers have taught us. They died heroes and I hope you become a hero too, without the dying part, of course. I love you so much.

Katniss

I can't bring myself to talk about the engagement. It's too much. I don't know what to say. I need more time to think about it. I'm sure with a couple hours of thinking I'll know that Gale is the one for me. But something feels wrong about marrying Gale.

Time will determine the situation, my dad had once told me. I laughed and thought that it was stupid, because I always thought that once you have that feeling then it's there. But lately, I've been following my father's advice.

Gale and I's fathers were in the war in Iraq when it had first started. I remember crying as I watched my father disappear. I didn't know Gale back then. Our fathers were in the same troop, supposedly good friends in battle, saving each other's lives quite a few times. But then came a time when they were both stuck in a situation that they could not get out of. They decided to camp out in an old abandoned building with the rest of their troop. Apparently our fathers had gotten a feeling that maybe there was going to be an attack. They got all of them out of the building before something bad could ever happen. Sent them off to fight the other battles that went on outside. Only an hour later, the building in which our fathers were in was bombed. The building exploded, reducing our dads to bits. Nothing could be buried. Gale and I were only eleven.

Two years later, we were met by Gale dropping his pencil in science, a class which he failed in and I excelled in, and when I handed it back to him he smiled at me. I frowned and turned back to my work. But he continued to try to talk to me for four months when I finally obliged and began trusting him, little by little. Soon enough, the trust was at a maximum and Gale asked me out when I had turned fifteen, when everyone was leaving after a small get together at my house. I thought about how all of the other girls at my school had boyfriends, and although I wasn't one to follow the crowds, I wasn't going to say no and let these girls keep telling me that I'd never have a boyfriend. But I've grown to love Gale as a boyfriend.

But now there's also Peeta in the picture. Why did he have to ruin it and tell me that I was the girl he had been chasing? I was with Gale, and now I have second thoughts.

I look at the blank sheet of paper before starting to write Peeta's letter. I bite my lip, unsure of what to say. What are you supposed to say to some guy you've never really talked to? It wasn't like he was my friend, not even my acquaintance. A stranger that I've seen walking through the halls before, a stranger who everyone adores, and just so happens to be a stranger who also saved my life. I plant my face against the creaking wooden table, regretting my promise to write him. I bite my pen before writing in my messy, thin handwriting.

Dear Peeta,

I don't really know what to say. We've never really talked before, except for maybe the empty words we exchanged at the bakery.

And the bread, I want to write, but I can't bring my hand to scribble it down. It was nearly eight years ago; I doubt he even remembers it. I try to keep my focus on writing his letter, and finally manage to write something down.

The bakery is actually quite lonely without you. Your mother and your two brothers, Rye and Josh, are helping out in the front and long story short, things haven't been as great as it probably would have been if you were still working.

I miss you. It's an odd feeling, missing you, since we're practically strangers. I miss Gale too. I'm so sorry that we never got to know each other before you left. I'm sorry that I can't like you the way you do. I'm with Gale, and I can't change that. I'm sorry if I'm hurting you. I hope you understand. Maybe we can become friends first? I honestly don't know what to do. I don't know how I feel right now. My head is filled with all of these feelings and I don't think I should start saying the wrong things before we all get the wrong idea.

Teardrops begin to splatter the paper, distorting most words. I sigh, deciding I don't care, I continue writing.

I hope you're safe and come back home soon. This place isn't the same without you. Don't let Gale read this, please.

Sincerely,

Katniss Everdeen

The creamy white paper looks as though I had walked with it through the pouring rain, drenched with my tears. I can only hope he knows it's from me.

I quickly take the envelopes that I have sitting beside Gale's perfectly dry letter, and scribble down the addresses and slide the letters in. I take a deep breath in and another breath out, suddenly overcome with sleepiness. I get one of Gale's faded grey shirts from one of my drawers and quickly slip it on before inhaling the scent of it. Apples and oranges, with a hint of alder smoke. My vision begins to become fuzzy and tears start to trail down my cheeks yet again, the smell of Gale suddenly bringing back memories and the pain of him gone. I wipe my cheeks with the back of my hand and retire to my bed and cover my body with an old creamy white afghan blanket.

But I never fall asleep. My mind keeps me awake, all night.

OxO

Light begins to shine through the dusty plastic shutters, flooding my room with brightness. I unwelcome it by pulling the strings of the shutters to close the sun.

I walk out of my creaking door like a zombie, my head down, my hair all over my face. I don't even try to tuck my stringy hair behind my ears.

"Would like something to eat? You look like you've seen a ghost," my mother laughs, trying to be cheerful. I roll my eyes but I remind myself that she can't see me. I crumple my body against the couch, my knees tucked under my chin, my arms wrapped around my legs. The clunky television in front of me is a mirror and I do indeed look like I've seen a ghost. Or perhaps maybe I am the ghost.

My mom sets a plate of steaming food onto the coffee table, savory sausages and scrambled eggs. Probably extra money that she had from my father's compensation money. I can't eat though. I can't eat knowing that my boyfriend, who could be my fiancé, and a boy who's saved my life, are thousands of miles away, fighting for their country.

I stay motionless on the couch for a long time, probably a little too long, thinking. What could I have said to make both of them stay here? What if they die? I didn't try hard enough to save them.

Eventually I get up and get dressed and head out the door, not even knowing where I'm going. The forest? The Hob?

No. I end up at The Mellark's Bakery.

I drag my feet inside. It feels like a million years ago that I was here, when in reality, it's been only two days. From what I hear, Peeta's mother, Aileen, and his two brothers, Josh and Rye, have been working Peeta's part here. I wrinkle my nose as I watch Peeta's mother give a fake smile towards a costumer before I walk up.

"What're you doing here?" Aileen sneered, her entire demeanor changing from the once happy-to-help-the-customer attitude to the kind of tone I would use describing Prim's cat, Buttercup.

I fight the urge to roll my eyes before speaking. "Just wanted to get something is all," I give her a plastic grin. Rye, Peeta's twenty year old brother, comes up behind Aileen and gives me a mega-watt smile before smoothly getting in front of his mother.

"Mom, let me take care of this lovely customer," Rye winks. I laugh loudly as he tries to flirt, trying to grab my hand and kissing it.

Aileen widens her eyes. "I don't need you kissing the hand of a Seam brat! You don't need their germs!" She slaps him behind the head. Hard. I widen my eyes and bite my tongue, suddenly terrified.

"What did you say about flattering the customer, mom?" Rye asks innocently, giving me a mischievous smile.

"I'm sure Peeta's flattered her enough," Aileen grumbles, "Boy's no good, it's probably better if he just stays there, dies there.." She stomps to the back of the store, and pushes the door open with the sign at the top labeled Employees Only.

How could someone wish for their son to die? I could never wish for my child, my own flesh and blood, to die. Ever. The thought alone makes my skin crawl. Honestly, that's what I'm scared of. What if my child decides he wants to go to war, and dies there in the enemy's hands? I wouldn't be able to do anything about it. Wants to be brave, follow his grandfather's foot steps by being the sacrifice of the troop. Just another casualty of a war. I can't stand losses.

I look back up from the counter and back up to Rye's uneasy smile, trying to calm me down unsuccessfully.

"She says that a lot, and hits a lot.. Don't think that it's unusual or anything, Katniss." Rye grins as he says my name. I raise an eyebrow in confusion.

"What?" I ask, narrowing my eyes. Is he trying to make fun of my name?

During freshman year, a group of popular girls, consisting of Clove Stevens, Glimmer Rambin, Cashmere Till, and Enobaria Embrassio all thought it was just hilarious to make fun of my name, calling me Katpiss instead of Katniss. It was completely stupid and immature, considering that I never did anything to them. Gale just told me to ignore them and took me out to the archery range to let my anger out, plastering their MySpace photos onto the target.

"Nothing," Rye laughs again, making me go across the counter to punch him in the arm. He raises his eyebrows and looks at me in mock horror.

I grit my teeth in annoyance. "What do you want, Rye? God damn, you're annoying. I don't understand how Peeta could have put up with you all this time." I roll my eyes with a puff. Rye's eyes widen.

"Wait, you know Peeta? Shit, he thought you didn't even know his name! Damn, is he going to be happy about this!" Rye cheered, clapping his hands together, laughing like a little girl. I couldn't help but snicker at his red face, flushed with excitement.

"I said goodbye to him at the airport," I say, rolling my eyes.

Rye, seeming extremely surprised by this, takes off his flour-caked apron, dumps it on the floor despite his mothers screeching protests about someone having to man the counter, and jumps over to the customer side of the counter. I look at him quizzically, knitting my eyebrows.

"Miss Everdeen, as Peeta's older brother and the only one who could actually stand listening him talk about you," Rye said, making me blush, "I think I deserve a little break hearing about this heart-wrenching, romantic goodbye."

"If you didn't know, Rye," I give him a glare, "I have a boyfriend. Gale Hawthorne. Do you know him?" Rye's eyes enlarge to the size of saucers as he shakes his head.

"What?" I ask, suddenly self conscious of myself. Does he not approve of my boyfriend? Why should I even care? I should be walking away right now; or flipping him off. But I'm actually truly curious as to what he thinks.

Rye just continues to shake his head. I punch his arm again, hoping to get him to talk using violence. But he remains quiet for a short moment before speaking.

"I know I shouldn't be up in your personal business Katniss-" Rye says, but I interrupt him.

"But you are," I roll my eyes. He gives me a short laugh, but it's deadly and almost cold.

"Yeah, whatever. But anyways, Gale isn't a good guy, Katniss. I've heard the things he's said about you. They might be great in the view of Glimmer Rambin or Clove Stevens, but from what I hear, you're pretty innocent," Rye says quickly, looking at my face for any emotion I might have. I just narrow my eyes.

"What are you trying to say, Rye? That Gale, my boyfriend of over four years, is not the guy I've been dating? You think you know him better than I do?" I snap, walking away from him quickly. I can hear him stomp closer and closer to me as I hear his short, tired puffs.

"Calm down Katniss," Rye says, still puffing. "Can you stop walking? You're too fast! Wait up!"

"Rye, you really think I'm going to date Peeta after I've been dating Gale for so long? I can't move on that quickly! So stop trying to be your brother's wingman!" I yell, furrowing my brow. I see streetwalkers watching, but I couldn't care less.

"I just want to help out my brother. I understand, Katniss, just hear me out, alright? Gale isn't the guy you think you know. Trust me. Two years ago, during my Senior year and your Sophomore year, I had gym with Gale. Damn, he would talk about how you guys would always meet up at the Slag Heap and.. You get what I mean Katniss.. I don't expect you to just dump Gale and go for my brother. But as your friend," Rye grins as he emphasizes the word friend, "I feel like I need to help you."

"You aren't my friend," I growl, gritting my teeth. Why does he expect me to believe him? I mean, Gale has been my friend for six years, and for four of those years, has been my boyfriend. I remember him bragging about his experiences at the Slag Heap before we dated, when we were about fourteen. But would he really tell his friends about that when him and I were dating? Would he really lie just to make himself sound cooler? Am I just like those other girls he bragged about being with?

"Just take what I'm telling you in consideration," Rye begs. "For my brother."

"Why would I care about Peeta when I have Gale?" I ask coldly.

"Because my brother loves you," Rye says casually.

"No he doesn't."

"Yes, he does."

He didn't tell me that he loved me at the airport, okay? And, not only that, you just said he likes me. Likes. It's probably no more than a schoolboy crush," I argue.

"This is more than a simple crush, Katniss. Jesus, didn't you ever notice Peety stalking you? Damn, you are oblivious to everything, huh?" Rye laughs, shaking his head.

"I'm sorry I didn't pay attention to someone who never talked to me!" I roll my eyes. "It's not my fault he never went up to me and tried!"

"He thought Gale would beat the shit out of him."

"I doubt Gale would really do that."

"He did when Cato Evans asked you out during Sophomore year," Rye protested, "I remember Cato having to sit out during wrestling season for two whole months for the things Gale did. Did you know that?"

"Shut up, Rye. Boys don't like me, boys don't look at me, boys don't even talk to me, okay? Get that through your fat head, I have Gale, that's it, so stop trying to screw up the one thing I have."

With a defeated sigh, he says, "Just think about it, alright Katniss?" but before I can respond, he's already gone, his blonde hair mixed in with all of the other merchants in the square. I groan and drag my feet back to the Seam, unable to think correctly.

Was Rye just lying to me to be a good brother? Or is he being honest with me? Would Gale really say those kinds of things? He's been my boyfriend for over three years. Has he been making rumors for this long for the sake of a good reputation, to sound cool in front of his friends? My brain fought itself on who's side I was on. Internal conflicts always ended with late night calls with Gale, but this time I couldn't do that. I put my face in my hands; stressed. I obviously couldn't talk to Prim about this. Sure, she's fourteen and probably knows what people do at the Slag Heap, and can probably keep a secret. But I couldn't risk it if something slipped out about the engagement. Prim and my mother hadn't seen it. I don't think anybody had; it was just between Gale and I, we just looked like a regular couple who were going to miss each other dearly, not two people who were fresh out of high school, one of them going to go fight a war, the other desperate to find the answers to mind-racking decisions.

Before I retire to bed, I walk over to my desk, the letters and a small old flickering desk lamp occupying the top. I quickly grab Peeta's letter, and before I have any second thoughts, I immediately rip it to small pieces. I ignore the pain in my heart and turn the light off before unsuccessfully trying to sleep, attempting to shut off my annoying brain.

But even as I fall asleep, nightmares continue to make me scream to the top of my lungs, watching as my rebellious boyfriend continues to shoot bullets into the boy with the bread, eventually seeing Peeta drop to the ground, unmoving in the pool of blood.

Is that what will happen if I pick Peeta? Gale will kill him? I shake my head, trying to remove such negative thinking, but it returns swiftly. That scenario is unlikely, nonetheless it's a frightening possibility.

I know my decision now.

So what do you think Katniss' decision is? What did you guys think? Good or bad? Thank you for reading! Please review!