"Miss Xiao Long, thank you for coming to see me."

Jaune sat at his desk, and across from him was his nearly eternal bane and discipline problem, the Blonde Bombshell herself.

"Oh, you know I'd make the time for you, Prof," she smirked, folding her arms under her ample chest and lifting ever so slightly. Not enough to be obscene or blatant, but just the right amount to accentuate, to hint at the wonders that lay beneath that jacket of hers.

Her grin widened as his eyebrows twitched slightly, but otherwise he gave no reaction. She knew she'd get a more substantial reaction out of him one day… and if she was right about what she had been called in for, she was about to get it.

"Miss Xiao Long-"

"Call me Yang, Prof."

"Very well, then, Yang, I suppose that you're wondering why I called you in here today."

"Surprise me," she stated demurely as she leaned back in her seat.

"It's about what you've been putting on your history homework for the last week."

The grin was now in full force. Called it, she thought victoriously. "I'm afraid I don't know what you mean," she replied innocently.

He raised an eyebrow at her. "Really?" He lifted up the bottom sheet from a pile in front of him, "You don't recall writing, 'If you give me a passing grade on this, I'll let you feel my muscles?'"

"Nope."

"Despite it being written in the same pen as the rest of the homework."

"Doesn't ring a bell."

"And being in your handwriting."

"I think I'm being framed."

"And you signed it 'The Sexy Mistress Yang."

"I swear I saw Cardin writing something on there."

He rubbed his eyes as he sighed. "Let's take a look at some of the others, shall we? 'Blondes have more fun, let's see if together that's cumulative or a multiplier,' 'You have an eye for fashion, Prof, but those fashionable clothes would look better on my floor,' 'Would you like to see exactly how hot my Semblance can make things?' Quite frankly, though, this last one confuses me: 'For a good time call Yang' followed by contact information." He turned, confused, to the smirking beauty. "I get why you'd put it down, but… you are aware that your teachers have the numbers of all the scrolls of those attending Beacon, correct?"

"It's my private scroll."

He stared at her with a deadpan expression.

"If that was me that wrote that on the homework, of course."

"Of course. And something else interesting that I noticed, was that these assignments start roughly three weeks ago, when Doctor Oobleck announced that I would be grading homework for his class thanks to his work on his upcoming book."

"Wow, that is a coincidence. I hope you find whoever is doing this, you must be so embarrassed."

"Actually, I'm not, which is sort of why we're having this conversation, Yang."

Yang's smirk vanished, replaced by a confused look.

"Now, I've tried to piece together what happened, but the day after he announced that, you were in Ms. Kitsune's office, correct?"

"Ruby got a little too enthusiastic in a sparring session, I had to go get one of my ribs checked out."

"Was it okay?"

"Just a bruised rib, nothing too serious. It's all healed now. Thanks for caring about me, Professor," she gave a softer smile this time.

"All right, that explains it… because if you had attended that particular class, you would have heard that Doctor Oobleck made a mistake. He failed to mention that I would be grading homework for the second years, not the first years. I never saw these until the grader brought them to me and asked me to talk to you about it."

Yang, over the course of his statement, had slowly turned white until even Weiss might have thought she looked a tad paler than was strictly healthy.

"I-it wasn't Oobleck, was it? I swear, I might flirt, but I don't do it to married men! Did Ms. Sheila say anything? I have to tell her I'm sorry, I don't want to annoy her-" she stammered.

Jaune raised his hands in a calming gesture. "I assure you that Ms. Sheila doesn't know, and Oobleck wasn't grading first year papers." He shuddered slightly at the memory of meeting the Doctor's wife. She was a scary woman, but she loved her husband, eccentricities and all. "The teacher that was grading your papers made sure to contact me, as the Student Advisor, to try to make sure that this wasn't going to be a problem. She felt it would be unprofessional to confront you if you were serious about this, and thought it might help to get an outsider's perspective on this, i.e. mine."

"Wait, wait, she?!"

Jaune nodded. "Professor Goodwitch says that if you weren't serious, then you have detention with Professor Port for the next week. If you were, she wants me to tell you that she's flattered, but you aren't her type and are a tad too immature for her tastes."

TWO HOURS LATER

Amid roars of laughter from the other members of the staff, Jaune gasped out, "And I didn't think it was possible for a human to turn that color that fast, but she did, and she sprinted out of my office!"

Port clapped a hand on his shoulder, shaking with mirth. "Perhaps this will keep her more focused on her studies and less on the members of the staff, eh?"

Glinda smirked. "I doubt it. She might be a good huntress, but the best hunters tend to be stubborn. It'll take more than this to knock the lesson of 'don't flirt with the staff,' into her head."

"Perhaps better that way? Stubborn streak means willingness to not give up. Be poor huntress if willing to give up quarry at first sign of difficulty. Doubtless side effects showing up in more innocuous ways. Pursuing romantic relations with a perceived strong figure, not backing down even in the face of evidence that the action is a mistake…" Oobleck inhaled through his nostrils strongly. "Problematic."

"We run a school for soldiers," Ozpin murmured into his coffee, "Some side effects were… inevitable."

Jaune stood up from the staff table, stretching his arms carefully. "Well," he announced, "I'd like to finish that book on PTSD before I go to sleep tonight, so I'm going to head back to my room. I'll see you guys tomorrow."

As he turned towards the door, Glinda's hand reached out and grabbed his shoulder. He turned to face her, and she looked directly into his eyes. "Thank you very much, Mr. Arc. You handled this very well."

He nodded while smiling. "You're welcome, Glinda. What are friends for?"

She pulled him close and whispered, "Play your cards right and you'll find out what I mean when I said that Ms. Xiao Long wasn't that mature…"

He gaped at her as she walked away demurely.

MEANWHILE…

Lie Ren, leader of team RVNN, carefully knocked on the door of Team RWBY, and was greeted by a frazzled looking Weiss.

"What!" She cried, before seeing Red with Nora bouncing on her heels close behind. "Oh, it's you."

"Yes, me. The other team on this floor elected me to-"

"I thought they said they were all scared of Yang, and that you're the only one who wasn't at the meeting."

"The other teams elected me to be the one to ask your team to please stop using the shower, you've used up all the hot water." He paused. "For the next week."

Weiss rolled her eyes. "You think we haven't been trying to get her out of there? She's been in there for the last hour and a half. She ran in the room, ripped off her clothes and jumped in the shower saying something about 'never be clean again.' Ruby's done everything from getting fresh cookies for her to promising her free vouchers to that club downtown she likes, but she still won't leave."

In the shower, the water had long since run cold, but Yang was beyond caring as she scrubbed her skin hard.

I can't believe I was accidentally flirting with GOODWITCH! Ugh, I don't feel clean… and she thinks I'm not her type? The hell! Ugh. Stupid Goodwitch.

She thought of the handsome professor she thought she had been making hot-and-bothered, but apparently wasn't, and he didn't even react to her well-thought-out messages!

Doesn't take the time to appreciate genius… stupid Jaune.

But the biggest kicker of all had been when he had stopped her before she sprinted to her room and told her the last message that Goodwitch had wanted him to relay to her.

"Oh, Yang? Goodwitch wanted me to tell you that though she appreciates your attention, it's really rude of you to be cheating on Blake like this."

Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid Yang.

Sithking Zero: Professor Arc has a lot of Jaune getting his ass kicked emotionally and physically.

But every now and then, you gotta figure that he wins at least one fight.

Also, yes, I couldn't remember what Oobleck actually sounded like, so I basically channeled Mordin Solus from Mass Effect.

Ozpin's words are something that do freak me out a little- these kids are being turned into living weapons. No one really considers this in the show, and it's a little terrifying.

Altogether this was WAY too much fun to write.