Hey guys and classy ladies this is the first real chapter in the series hope you enjoy; by the way kudos to whoever can guess the movie reference made in the chapter. I don't own the AMVs I write about, I am just an admirer of the art.
-Sage
Adventures of an ANBU Trainee
Chapter 1- The Farm
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Flash-forward 6 months
It had been a long time coming for this team, months of hard work formed this perfect team; they were the most effective squad in ANBU so far and had gained everyone's respect. Team Alpha was now kneeled before ANBU captain Lion waiting to be dismissed after yet another successful mission.
"Rise" said Lion after reading the report on the mission in the Land of Grass.
"Excellent work Alpha team, another one for the books" indeed he was happy that his A team was doing so well in the field.
"Now you should…" was all he could say before Naruto and his team of trainee's barreled through the door looking as if they were caught with their hand in the cookie drawer.
"It was unreasonable for all of us to be up against the door." Said Shino in his monotone voice as if he were saying the most obvious thing in the world.
"Shove it! We are supposed to get our first mission but Alpha team is taking soooo long let's get on with it. I mean we all get it 'oh alpha team you're the greatest thanks for saving my cat from a fire lets go make a parade for you guys' bah they probably couldn't take us on!"
"Um Naruto they are still here" said Lee while pointing to the still kneeled team in front of Lion meanwhile Neji was trying to rub away the strong head ache he was having due to all this tomfoolery.
"You are dismissed meet again tomorrow bright and early; I have another important mission for you." Lion stated while attempting to ignore the intrusion. Alpha team all nodded and left without a sound making extra sure to wipe it in the trainees' faces.
"Alright you trainees front and center" he said with a no nonsense tone. Quickly all four stood at attention. They all were excited for their first mission some definitely more excited than others
This is it finally one more step to being Hokage and getting him back Naruto thought excitedly.
Yosh! Time for everyone to see my flames of youth explode! Lee also very excited.
(Sigh) Lets just get this over with I'm ready to get away from these guys after so long Neji thought tiredly.
…bugs… Shino thought absentmindedly.
"Now all of you have shown good improvements over the last six months so I think you are ready for your first mission."
"Well almost all of you…" The ANBU captain let that sentence hang as all eyes turned to Rock Lee's back which was now holstering a blunt and pretty much useless katana.
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Flashback 2 hours ago
Deep in the heart of the ANBU Bunker there is an area made for the trainees so they can place their stuff in desks and as they all were clearing out Rock Lee was the last one left to leave.
"Yooo Trainee Bitch." greeted an ANBU figure wearing a bear mask.
"Yeah Trainee Bitch" said another ANBU figure wearing a fish mask.
"Hey guys I don't actually like that name I know you guys think it's funny but I don't like that name" said Rock Lee.
"What you working on? Something youthful?" said Fish while grabbing some papers off Lee's desk.
"Actually I was working on some poems for Sakura-chan! So I will take that back now." he replied taking the paper back from Fish.
"Ahh" said Bear
"Specifically Haiku" Lee replied
"You know some of the other ANBU have been talking and um they were like 'how come you have never used your katana in the office before'" Bear said
"Good point" Fish agreed with Bear.
"I'm sorry I don't follow you" replied Lee
"You never used your weapon in the office"
"We all have you know it's called a desk slice" chimed in Fish
"Listen guys…I know you don't respect me as an ANBU officer…"
"Not true"
"But I'm not going to take out my katana use it in the office."
"Lee listen to me I'm going to make this real clear we honor the village and you crap on it when you don't use your katana in the office."
"Lizard! When was the last time you did a desk slice?" said Bear talking to Lizard who was across the room.
"…September last year" Lizard replied confidently after thoughtful consideration.
"Be a man do this please…"
"Come on pull it out and cut it up!" encouraged Bear
"Yeah come on cut it up!"
"Don't think just go do it!"
"Alright here we go." Said Lee with a smile thinking he was going to be popular with the others after this.
"Do it yes"
Lee pulls out his katana and slices his desk up which caused the part of the ceiling it was connected to, fall to the floor exposing the women's shower room.
"Oh man he actually did it" said Bear to Fish and Lizard as they were laughing so hard at Lee's expense.
"Oh shit what's going on here!" yelled Naruto as he sprinted in while staring at a soaked Lee incredulously, during which everyone else already had their katana out poised to take action.
"Hey Naruto! Hey Naruto I just did my first desk slice!" Lee said elatedly forgetting how soaked he really was.
"It's a real thing right?" Lee said now wondering what is going on.
"A DESK SLICE!? NO that's not real!" Naruto yelled at Lee while Neji just shook his head while everyone else withdrew their blades.
"They were so convincing in their argument. They swung me." Lee replied not fully grasping the seriousness of what he just did.
Now looking at the hole in the ceiling, ANBU captain Lion then looks back at a dejected Rock Lee sitting down with his blade in the holster.
"Lee I'm going to need your katana"
"Yes sir." He said sadly.
"Captain you really want to disarm this guy take away all the weight equipment he has." Naruto said while Lee handed over his weapon to the captain.
"Alright I'm going to give you this." Lion said while holding a blunt wooden katana.
"This is a dummy katana; they use this for ceremony." he continued while handing over the blade (if you could even call it that).
"You get this back (holding up the katana) when I feel you know how to handle it." Lion said while both Naruto and Lee just sighed in frustration.
"Listen guys I'm working two jobs; here and I have another job as a manager at Bed, Bath and Beyond in the village, ok. I am doing that just to put a kid through the academy so he can explore his love of waffle crisps and become a DJ. Now the last thing I need is a katana report in the unit so I am going to ask you guys 'come on now really?' just think about it, just be smart" Lion finished, then walks away leaving Lee holding onto the wooden katana.
Flashback End
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"Anyways now back to the task on hand your first mission will be to investigate a believed drug operation deep in the land of Fire" Lion then took out four folders with the same information and handed to each of them.
"They are disguising themselves as a cattle farm in a valley plateau about a three days sprint from the village."
"Sir not to be rude but this seem to be the type of job a genin team could do." Naruto butted in.
"Not so fast, flip to the next page." Lion stated
"What is that sir?" Lee said worriedly
"That is why a genin or even a chunin team cannot be assigned to this mission and was handed to us directly from the Hokage herself."
"Those gentlemen are chakra sensing rods that are used to sense and alert any use of chakra in the fields encompassed in them." Lion said while holding up a picture of a slim metal rod with blue lining staked into the ground
"But wouldn't those rods bring suspicion to their operation?" Shino asked
"They did but when asked by the local police they stated they were for protection from rogue ninja who can easily take their cows away much faster than regular bandits therefore getting them off the hook so to speak from local law enforcement."
"Well how come they hired the village for the job then?"
"A concerned mayor of the town nearby came to us because there have been rising reports of drug usage in his town and the police just can't seem to keep up so rather than hiring a regular squad to help enforce the law…"
"They want us to get rid of the source." Finished Neji
"Right so your mission is to successfully infiltrate the farm, collect evidence of their drug production and capture the criminals then proceed to hand them over to local law enforcement."
"But sir why not just get rid of them"
"Because dead men tell no tales meaning we won't know if there is more to this than just a bunch of guys getting together and selling drugs and not a higher man on the ladder."
"How are we supposed to get past the chakra rods captain?" Naruto asked
"I am positive you guys will figure it out. Now you leave in four hours grab whatever you need and meet at the exit three of the bunker when you are done."
"Alright then let's get to work. OK everyone hands in!" Naruto exclaimed. Lee quickly put his hand on top of Naruto's hand while Neji just walked off to get ready and the Shino who was standing right there fell apart into a horde of bugs signifying he left as soon as the Captain dismissed them.
"Alright go team!" Naruto yelled out while he and Lee had their hands in the air
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4 Hours Later
Naruto and his team were waiting for the final sendoff for his team from the captain by exit three when Naruto decided to break the silence.
"Look guys I know that I'm nervous about this since it's very important to not just me but also all of you guys but I want you all to know something."
"What?" said Neji whom was looking out the window seeming lost.
"That no matter what happens on the mission we watch each other's backs and that we give it our all" he said getting nods from the other guys.
"Well you look ready for your first mission together since entering the program." Said Lion seeming to phase into existence from nowhere.
"Alright get there, fulfill the parameters of your mission and return promptly. It should take just over a week and a half to do this mission."
"Lee, Shino, Neji let's go" Naruto said firmly
"Good Luck." Lion said leaving with a smile behind his mask
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Three Days Later
Finally reaching the location they are all crouch on the ridge overlooking the seemingly empty plateau except for the herd of cows, the barn, and the humble two story ranch house overlooking the entire field. While they were observing they noticed that the field seemed to always be full of people doing mundane tasks but in actuality they were sentries protecting the area and on the lookout for anything suspicious judging by the weapons they were carrying. Naruto then turned to Neji to ask him to look for the rods when he noticed he was distracted.
"Neji what's wrong?" he asked with genuine worry
"Well it's um…it's nothing"
"Seriously tell us if this will affect you to perform this mission or not"
"No of course not…but (sigh) fine I will tell you what is wrong. Looking at this field brings my back to my childhood."
"Alright that's fine as long as you get back on track."
"I was a young boy."
"Neji its fine shut up."
"I think I was only 7 or 8 at the time."
"Neji!"
"Naruto we have to let Neji vent or else this mission will not be able to start." Lee said knowing how long winded he was.
"(sigh) fine keep going Neji."
"Thank you well…
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Flash-back 10 Years Ago
A young Neji Hyuga was shoe-less, wearing jeans, a cowboy hat and had a piece of straw hanging out of his mouth as his stared at the cattle.
One day I will become the greatest rancher in the Leaf Village surpassing the Nara clan and their dumb deer. You see Neji as a young boy had aspirations to become a wrangler before becoming a ninja but as fate would have it today was the day that would all change.
"Neji! Neji where are you?" His father had been worried for him since he was supposed to start his taijutsu lessons and yet he was nowhere to be found.
"Neji there you are. What are you wearing? What happen to the Hyuga robes I gave you?"
"Tou-san I have decided to become a cattle rancher since that is my dream and I feel here is where I am one with the universe."
Hizashi meanwhile was dumbfounded with every word his son spoke.
Where did I go wrong and furthermore where in the world did he learn about all this stuff!
"NO! I mean (cough) Neji you have responsibilities you have to fulfill for the clan so you cannot become a rancher."
"But tou-san!"
"Absolutely not come on we have to begin your lessons."
Dragging away a teary eyed Neji, Hizashi stormed off heading back to the Hyuga compound trying to figure out what lead his son to do this. Neji, however could not look at another farm without crying which creating his obsession of fate until Naruto broke him out of it.
Flash-back End
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There was not a dry eye on that ridge as Naruto, Lee, and even Shino were crying by the end of his story wondering how Neji was able to go on with his life.
"(Sniff) Neji we are so sorry for not caring before. I had no idea what you went through all that in your childhood." Naruto was able to say between his sobs.
"It is fine now just being here brought bad memories that's all hold on." Neji then activated his byakugan, and wiped a tear away from his eyes, to find the rods around the plateau hidden in the tall grass.
"Alright there are exactly 16 rods located around the field surrounding the house, barn, and cattle."
"Shino can your bugs get them out of the ground so we can just go in and surprise them."
"I had already have tried that but the rods have a built in electric defense so none of the cattle will be able to ruin them."
"Damn, alright time for plan B since they are too far apart to let Lee sprint around and get them in time before they catch on and destroy the evidence. Luckily I was prepared for this situation."
"Since we can't henge or else the rods will go off I have brought these" Naruto then pulled out four sets of cow costumes.
"You cannot be serious there is no way anyone of us will wear this…" Neji could not finish his sentence since both Lee and Naruto were already in their suits and were practicing their grazing technique.
"No Lee you have to let it hang out of your mouth for a while then slowly chew on it."
"Ahh yes I see it now. Yosh! I shall be the most youthful cow ever and make Guy-sensei proud!" Lee replied now with a fire in his eyes as he began to quickly eat the grass around him
"Absolutly Not!" Neji yelled at both getting their attention
"You are doing it all wrong you need to always on all four and…" while Neji was lecturing them on how to be a proper cow Shino was having his own thoughts about this mission
Why did I end up doing this it is illogical to be a cow, I would rather be a bug and be done with this.
After a half an hour of getting their grazing technique down all four were in there cow outfits ready to go into the plateau and begin their mission.
"Alright now that night has fallen, we should move out and get into positon now. Alright communicate over the radios to get in front of the rods and use the rubber gloves hidden away in the udder to safely remove the rods. My shadow clones will get the rest of them around the field and remove them all at the same time leading them all outside. From there we will knock them out and look for evidence of a drug lord running the operation."
"Alright any questions?"
"Nice plan but how are we going to prove that they are the one's producing the drugs" Lee brought up
"We have that covered as Neji was getting the coordinates for the rods he found a large manufacturing line under the house while they hold the product in the barn and will most likely have the information we are after."
"Alright any more questions? None good we will go active at dawn."
"Let's Moooove out!" Lee yelled out hoping everyone got the joke. They did but before he could get a high five they had already left to sneak into the plateau leaving him hanging until he also decided to go.
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As the sun was rising everyone was confirming their positions next to the rods. Luckily finding the rods was easier than expected since the rods naturally light up blue to detect chakra and with Neji's coordinates all the squad mates and shadow clones made it and were ready to pull them at the same time and begin their assault, however they now had to confirm their location before acting.
"Yosh this is Slim Jim here in position to youthfully remoove this rod."
"Lee stop this nonsense we are being serious here." Neji replied sternly
"Yeah Lee stop prodding Neji we have to hoof it out of here if it all goes south." Naruto replied while snickering
"Naruto, Lee I believe you have milked this enough please don't udder another pun." Shino decided to jump in since it was clearly logical to have fun with Neji
"Guys get serious everyone in position?"
"Yosh Slim Jim confirmed."
"Ramen Lover confirmed believe it!"
"Yes Bug's Life confirmed."
"(sigh) Sour Milk confirmed." Neji said tiredly wondering why he allowed himself to be called that meanwhile Lee and Naruto were dying in their cow suits.
"Alright remember as soon we remove the rods wait until they leave to go check on the rods. Ready? Go!"
At that time all the rods were removed at once eliminating the alarm from activating over the field but the one inside of the house went off as a fail-safe sending all the bandits out into the fields. Once they came out the squad jumped them and disabled them all only leaving the leader left. Now standing over him were four teens in cow costumes celebrating their first success.
"Yosh that was kind of boring they were not a challenge."
"Yeah I agree with Lee these guys sucked."
"Naruto not all missions are going to be as easy as this was. We still have to find out the leader and go report to the local authorities."
"Fine I will send a shadow clone to go and confirm both capture and payment."
"Good Naruto lets go and investigate."
The squad then went inside the house and found the secret entrance to the drug manufacturing line and were now looking for any connections to a bigger producer. Now rummaging through the office Naruto was looking around for a private safe and found it behind the leader's painting of the plateau they were on.
"Guys come into the office I think I found something!"
"Is this the private safe?" Lee asked
"I'm pretty sure but since it is so small I don't believe we should use an explosive tag to open it up. Alright Shino go to work."
Shino understood what he meant and started sending his bugs to start eating through the safe lock. He finished a few minutes later and the safe swung open revealing a folder containing the illegal business's accounts and transactions. As the squad was looking through they found a connection to a Cloud Village official going by the name Shiki Houraisan. He seemed to be the one behind other drug production "farms" all in the land of Fire making a large lucrative salary on the side.
"You guys see what I am seeing?" Naruto asked in disbelief
"Yes, as of right now we need to prevent the local law officials from making a public arrest or else this will spread to the other "farms" and make Shiki go into hiding." Shino deduced from the information
"Right now we need to also act quickly and present this to the captain before the trail gets any colder." Neji stated with a firm tone
"Alright first let's collect all the information we can grab here, talk with the police force, and get out of here and back to the village quickly." Naruto then made a handsign and created shadow clones to help strip the place for any more information on Shiki. Within an hour they got everything they could from both the house and the barn they could use to track down Shiki Houraisan; afterwards Naruto talked with the police force explaining the severity of the situation and told them to keep these arrests from the public until they were told to release the information to the press of their town.
"We are done here move out." Naruto said and they all started the three day trip back to the village.
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Three Days Later
Looking up from the folder with the intelligence gained from his rookie trainee team; Lion looked at the tired faces of the team after their multi-day travel back. Thinking this assignment should be handed over to a more experienced team since this would be above their current level.
Then again they were the best team to have come out of the program and they handled the situation well even though the use of the cow costumes was…creative. Alright fine we shall see how they do with a real mission.
"Good job out there, now do not interrupt me until I have finished." Lion got nods from the entire squad so he continued.
"After a review of your performance I have decided to promote you all for the remainder of this mission so you will be able to follow this lead out of the Fire Country. However that promotion is only to grant you the approval to take missions outside the country and operate in foreign territories." After his short speech Naruto and his team could not believe it they were going to be able to track this guy down and get promoted! What could have been better after only one mission!
"Now that the excitement has passed you have to figure out how you will approach this mission within a few days and then immediately head out before the news of the drug raid reaches Shiki Houraisan's ears and 'goes on vacation for a while' and this all blows over."
"Yes Sir!" replied all with their pride showing from being praised by their captain
"Now before you guys get a big head over this I still have the pictures you collected from the raid which includes all of you guys in the cow costumes and I am sure a certain blonde Hokage would love to have her hands on them."
Baa-chan would never stop making fun of me and if Ero-Sensei gets a hold of those pictures... Naruto started to sweat profusely as did the others since it would be embarrassing for anyone to see those pictures.
"No captain we will defiantly keep our pride in check" Naruto spoke up for his team
"Ok then well then Team Gamma will rest for a couple days and then report for strategy planning the next day."
"Yes Sir!"
"You are dismissed."
After their dismissal the team was ready to go to soak in the bathhouse and then go home.
"This is awesome guys we already being promoted and now we get to go catch a big fish."
"Yosh this will definitely show our flames of youth!"
"Yes indeed logically this is our time to prove Team Gamma."
"Neji you ok? You have been quite awfully quiet."
"It's nothing just think about where I want to go eat."
"Let's get some ramen!"
"No I was thinking about getting sushi."
Naruto then suddenly stop moving and thought about the mission and the information they found about Shiki when he suddenly remembered a key piece of information about him.
"Naruto. Naruto! What did you just think of" Lee said when he noticed Naruto's big smile
"So do any of you guys know how to make sushi?"
"Yeah it is pretty easy some raw fish, rice, and some seaweed; roll it up and it that's it." replied Neji wondering where he was going with this.
"I think I know our way into the Cloud Village and how to get close to Shiki Houraisan…"
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And that's that sorry but no omake here. Thanks for reading along and I hoped you liked it.
-Sage
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Sage's AMV Corner!
Alright let's get down to it.
IT
Awesome so without further ado here are my top AMVs for the chapter.
The Good: [Shippuden AMV] World so Cold by konradsob123
- This AMV is in one word: Cinematic. This was so well crafted I literally applauded at the end of it like I did at the end of the third High School Musical. But seriously props to konradsob123 for this AMV. From the music to the editing I give it two thumbs up.
The Bad: Tsunade- Drop it Low by Rye Icon
- One Tsunade never dropped it low so massive points lost but seriously the tribute was awful because of the bad editing, the music was just a poor choice, and it tried too hard to either be bad or funny I honestly can not tell.
The Funny: Akatsuki – Womanizer by sahiar1
- From the moment I loaded the page I knew I had a great choice for this chapter's AMV. The editing is good to where it makes it funny but it does not clutter up the video and if you are looking up material about the oversexualization of anime characters look no further because there is no way you could not stand against the injustice of having Kisame as a sex symbol unless…you are into that.