A.N. - Before I actually get into my real a.n., I think I owe you guys an explanation for all my typeos, no disclaimer, and no A.N. in the 1st chapter. Well this is only my 2nd fanfic actually, so what I did for my first one is go to the little 'edit' part and add in my a.n. and do one last spell check. Buttt it would not let me edit anything, so yeah.

I know this is somewhat of a late update, however my school's girls basketball team actually made it to this district tournament held once a year, so that basically killed any hopes of be getting this done in one week, as I planned. Because, well, it basically took up most of my weekends. But since I'm on off season now, I hope I'll be able to get more done. (At least before track and field -.-) I had a bit of trouble writing this chapter actually.. I had a few ideas on how I wanted to continue from where I left off, and this ( I hope ) was the best one. Please enjoy and review. Thanks :)

DISCLAIMER: I do not own FMA, or any affiliated works/ characters.

Chapter 2: What A Joke

The young man sitting across from Grumman looked as if he were about to do one of two things- vomit, or faint.

However, he did neither.

Instead, he laughed.

Not, hysterically, but quietly under his breath, as if he was just told a joke in class, and did not want others to hear.

As his chuckles grew in volume, Grumman began to worry for Selim's sanity.

"Okay,okay.." he said in between giggles, "you got me, heheh, really sir."

Grumman only wished this was a joke. He wished that he could genuinly join in on his laughter. He didn't want to tell him that his life was in danger nor did he want Selim to have to grasp the full gravity of his current situation. So, instead of dragging Selim any deeper into his new found pool of problems and sorrow to come, he let him resurface back to his world of normality.

Little did he know, that would be the mistake that created an even deeper mess. Nor did he know that it would be the mistake that cost him his life.

All he wanted has for him to be safe. So, instead of explaining the full gravity of the situation, he plastered on a fake grin and said, "Yes, I've really out done myself, now haven't I?"

Quickly gathering up the accursed documents that laid before them, he quickly add, "I got you good, didn't I? Now just wait until April Fools!"

'God, he had me going there for a moment.. Pft, me.. a homunculus.. That's entirely imposi-'

Selim, however, was unable to finish his thought, for he was interrupted by the icy and matter-of-factly voice of Führer Grumman. "But then again," he started "nothing's impossible. Never forget that."

"Well, some things must be, right?" Selim asked meekly.

"Nothing is impossible." Grumman answered in his same serious tone. However, two seconds later, another warm (and fake) smile was plastered on his face, as if to contradict his last statement.

Selim opened his mouth to speak, but the whatever words we was going to say died on his tongue by an interrupting knock on the door. From the corners of his eyes, Selim could see how the führer's body stiffened and how his eyes flashed. "They're here already?" Grumman accidentally thought aloud.

Not wanting to making the already awkward atmosphere any worse, Selim decided it would be best if he didn't comment nor ask questions upon what Grumman just said.

"Son, do me a favor and open up those blinds behind me, hm?" Grumman asked.

"Of course, sir."

As Selim reopened the blinds, one by one, he noticed that the führer started to feverishly scribble on a piece of paper and put it into a bight green envelope with the words 'Happy Birthday' on it.

Selim also noticed that he quickly folded a few pieces of the paper from inside the (no so fake) Homunculus File, and stuffed them in there as well.

'Strange.. I guess'

As knocks on the door started to grow in volume, Grumman put the rest of the folder in his desk, locked it, and raised his voice to say "Yes, just one minute!" He, then, hurried to open the door, as if he waited any longer the person outside would break the door down. 'He must be someone realllyy important. I wonder if its an Xingnese official.'

It genuinely surprised Selim that the guest wasn't some international military personnel. At first glance, he didn't come off to be all that impressive. Seemingly average height and weight, brown hair, blue eyes.. nothing real special there. The man just looked like your average officer. 'Well okay, he's a general.' Selim could tell by the stars on the man's uniform. 'But, he's just a general, and well, Führer King Grumman's.. well he's the freaking führer!' The man, however ordinary looking he was, had balls. Selim had to admit that much. He couldn't think of anyone else who had ever banged on the door of the führer's office. But there was something else about him.. something that didn't sit right with Selim and made him feel like squirming about in his seat back at the table away from Grumman's desk.

"I'm sorry Führer King Grumman, sir, however we need to talk, now." said the general as he hastily entered the room and completely ignoring Selim. "A file has gone missing. And a rather important one at that." he continued in a deep voice while seating himself across from Grumman's desk. "Yes.." Grumman mumbled. "So I've heard." "Good, then I can skip the briefing and get straight to th-"

However the general did not finish his statement, because he finally noticed the presence of Selim Bradley in the room. When gaze shifted toward the young man, Selim stiffened.

Although the smile on the man's face was somewhat warm, and his demeanor seemed lax, there was something indeed strange about the way he was looking at him. 'No, its not the way he's looking at me... It's his eyes..'

The general's eyes, as noted by Selim, were an icy blue. An icy blue that did not defrost while gazing at the young man. They were cold enough to totally extinguish any warmth from his smile. The eyes seemed to be frosted not only with ice, but with some sort of deep emotion as well.

'As a homunculus' Selim imagined Grumman stating to him, 'there will be people that wouldn't want you around.'

'Why wouldn't they want me around?'

'Well isn't it obvious.. it's because they hate you.'

'...Hate me? I've never met this man in my life! How can he hate me?'

'As a homunculus..' Selim heard someone in his mind in a voice that did not belong to him. Or wasn't completely his. It sounded like himself, but it had an eerie and ominous under tone to it, 'there's plenty of people who would hate you. Don't ya think?'

It may have been just a voice, it may have been just his imagination, however it was surely enough to scare the crap out of Selim.

'Who the hell just said that?' Selim thought to himself. He felt silly soon after when he had no reply. 'Good god, I'm going crazy.. I just yelled at myself.'

'No,' the voice replied, 'you yelled at me. And as for my name, hmm, well I'm known by many, however I guess I usually go by just Pr-'

However, the voice was interrupted by a question from the unnamed general, no matter how fortunate or unfortunate that may have been.

Selim, unable to process anything, barley manged to croak out a questioning, "What, what was your name?" He had to know.

"Oh, I suppose you must not have heard, I am General Peyton E. Marshall."

'Why is this guy telling me his name?' Selim thought to himself. 'Oh yeah, I think I just asked, just not him."

"Um, hello General Marshall, I'm Selim Bradley." Selim muttered under his breath.

"Selim, my boy, why don't you excuse the two of us. I don't want to bore you with all the boring old men work, so why don't you go out, for a bit, hm?" the Führer chimed.

"I guess.." Selim mumbled.

"Some fresh air would be good for you."

"I suppose so.."

"And maybe you could find yourself a girlfriend!"

"Alrig- HEY!"

Grumman laughed as he watched the young man's face turn into a deep crimson color. Selim on the other hand, who was not as impressed with the joke, tried to hastily avoid further embarrassment by rushing out of his seat and heading for the door.

"Just one minute young man." called Grumman in one of his tones that he used for subjects of only the up most importance. It was enough to make Selim to stop dead in his tracks.

The führer walked over to the door where Selim was standing, and about ready to exit, and handed him a card. 'It's the card that he had on his desk, I think..'

"For me?" Selim questioned

"Of course, son. It does have your name on it." Grumman stated back.

Puzzled, Grumman gestured to a confused Selim to turn the green envelope over. It read 'Happy Birthday Selim'.

"Um.."

"Ah, not to worry no thanks are necessary. I'm only sorry I couldn't give it to you sooner." Grumman said back with noticeable sadness from his voice. 'I'm so sorry, Selim.'

"Ah-hem." came the impatient general who still sat at the desk. "Führer King Grumman, may I remind you that this is very important."

"Yes. I'm sorry to keep you waiting." lied Grumman.

Stunned and confused, Selim started making his may down the hall. He didn't even know where was going. He couldn't really process anything at the moment. All he could recall was Grumman turning back to him, reminding him to go out and get a girlfriend, apologizing about the tardiness of his letter once more, and practically shoving him out the door and hastily closing it shut. The last few moment he spent in Grumman's office were just a blur to Selim because he only had one thing on his mind.

'Why did he give me this letter? My birthday is seven months away.'

'Hm, what do you think, Selim?', came the mystery voice in his head again, 'I know you're not that stupid, because that would be an insult to me.'

"It's you!" cried Selim aloud, scaring a pass officer.

'I guess you really are that stupid. Say it in your head, dumb ass, you don't want people thinking you're crazy, now do you?'

Ignoring the insult and cutting straight to the point, Selim decided to ask what he needed to know. 'Who the hell are you?'

'My, my, you're being rather direct' the voice taunted. 'The answer is really quite simple, really. In fact,the topic of my identity is being spoken of right now.'

'Um.. what?'

'You're asking the wrong question. You should be asking where, not what.'

Annoyed, but still looking for an answer, Selim decided to still continue his conversation with the voice. 'Okay.. where.'

'In that führer's of yours office.'

A.N.- So now we have a certain sarcastic mystery voice reeking of mayhem and arrogance. Sheeit is bout to go down (hopefully). Please read and review, and I hoped you enjoyed :) Until next chapter,

-Avatardd