My first time observing flight was in a raptor. I got to suit up like the Viper pilots, but they wouldn't let me near anything. I was observing. I was told the next time I'd get to fly, and I couldn't contain my excitement.
We sat in the briefing room, me and the six others who had passed the written exam. We were nervous – you could feel it in the air and hear it in the jittery talk. Starbuck walked in, and in my attempt to please her, I jumped to my feet and shouted "Officer on deck!" She paused, turning slightly to see who had announced her. I stood, frozen at attention while a few remaining stragglers rose slowly to their feet. I could feel her eyes boring into me, but I forced myself to stare straight ahead – she knew it was me.
"Good afternoon," she paused, "nuggets." She waited. "The correct response is 'Good afternoon Lieutenant,' nuggets, or has it been that long since Basic Training that you've all forgotten how to address a superior officer?" She looked at each of us; my face burned. "So," she paced across the small raised platform at the front of the room, "we'll try this again. Good afternoon nuggets."
"Good afternoon sir" or "good afternoon Lieutenant" was the mumbled response. I had every intention of speaking loud and clearly, but I quickly lost confidence with the others. Her eyes blazed and I felt I'd let her down. "Let's try this one more time. I say 'good afternoon' then you respond. This is not rocket science people this is greeting protocol! Now, good afternoon Cadets."
"Good afternoon sir!" Our voices echoed in the room. "Better. I'm Lieutenant Thrace, my call-sign is Starbuck, but for now you may call me God. I am what stands between you as whole and solid as you are now from being something the knuckle-draggers hose out of the cockpit. You will do what I tell you, when I tell you, not just because it's a good idea, but because it will keep you from being a puddle in your cockpit."
She continued to talk about the Viper itself and its specifications, but I stopped listening. I couldn't help it. She moved her hands expressively as she spoke and it was her hands that I followed. Those fingers had fraked me a few nights before, making me see sparks. Those fingers, warm and rough, had held me after my climax, gently rubbing the skin between my breasts while I rested. Granted she had kicked me out moments later to a surprised Captain Adama, but they still fascinated me. I watched her hands as they slammed onto the podium. I looked up to find her glaring at me. "Cadet Davis, are you with us?"
"Yes sir!" I tried to muster some confidence in my response.
"Then, pray tell, what have I been talking about?" I racked my brain trying to figure out what she'd said. "Viper specs?" I volunteered.
"What about them Cadet?" She sounded bored. I tried to look at the notes on my neighbor's desk, but he quickly covered them when he realized what I was doing. "Well?"
"I don't know, sir," I replied deflating like a balloon.
"Cadet, may I remind you that you were part of a very small group that passed the written exam and showed the cahones and flair necessary to become a pilot." She stepped off the platform, and walked towards me. "On your feet Cadet!" I scrambled to my feet, clasping my now sweaty palms behind my back. "Now I see I was wrong about you." She leaned closer to me and I glanced sideways at her. She looked so smug, she almost leered. "I expect my nuggets to behave as such, but I will not accept disobedience or cheek!" Quietly she said, "I thought you told me you'd do anything it took to be a pilot, and yet you've failed on your very first day." My face burned and I looked down. It would have been better if she'd just yelled at me. "Dismissed Cadet." Head still down, my eyes began to sting with the onset of tears. Forcing myself not to cry here, I gathered my few items and left the briefing room, feeling everyone's eyes staring at my back. As I reached the hatch, Lieutenant Thrace continued her lecture. I opened and closed the hatch as quietly as I could. I'd failed my first lesson as a pilot and I'd failed Lieutenant Thrace. The latter stung more.
I went back to work in the hanger deck, filing papers, when I heard my name called over the wireless. "Cadet Davis please report to the briefing room. Cadet Davis to the briefing room." A few people looked at me as I left, but most people paid me no heed as I walked out. As I approached the room that I'd been kicked out of hours before, I noticed that the hatch was open. I slowed, gathering myself for whatever lay inside the room. Shoulders back and head held high I gently pushed the hatch open. "Close the hatch" I heard Lieutenant Thrace say before I saw her. I did. Her voice echoing in the room sent shivers up my spine. "Lock it." Mystified, I did so without hesitation. I walked into the room finding Lt. Thrace sitting in the first row reading a file.
"Stand before me Cadet." I did so, hands clasped behind my back, eyes forward. I glanced at the file she was reading – it was mine. She sat back in the chair and looked up at me. She smirked; she'd seen me look at the file. "It says here you were an average student, Cadet. Why was that? Didn't you think to work harder?" Harder? I'd worked my ass off to get the grades I did. Okay maybe I could have pulled a few more all-nighters, but I'd done my best. As if reading my mind she said, "Your best wasn't good enough, Cadet. Not to be part of my Viper squad anyway, and yet, by some miracle, you passed the written exam." She stood up. Only a few inches taller, she towered over me, looking me in the eye, though I kept staring at that imaginary point somewhere above her eyebrows. "Did you cheat Cadet? Look off your neighbor's paper like I saw you try to do today? Thought your buddies might help you?" 'We're not buddies' I thought about saying but then realized how dumb that sounded. "I didn't cheat, sir," but I knew I'd taken too long to answer. Her smirk widened. "Then how'd you pass that, wanting this so badly, and yet fail today's lesson?" I looked down, "I wasn't paying attention," I said, unable to admit the real thing that had caught my eye. "I noticed, though your little display when I walked in was appreciated all be it a clear move to suck up. Your classmates noticed too – probably why Johnson was so reluctant to let you look at his notes." She smiled, actually smiled at me and said, "Just make sure you pay attention to everything next time."
"Next time? Sir?"
"Yes Cadet, next time" she sounded annoyed. "I'm giving you a second chance. Don't frak up this time or you'll find yourself farther down in the pecking order than you are now – yes that's possible."
"Thank you sir!" I tried to keep my voice level, but I was delighted that there might still be a place for me among the elite pilots. My elation must have shown because she said, "Don't expect any special treatment from me, just because I've fraked you. That frak meant nothing to me, but it did prove that you're good at taking orders. Perhaps you'd like to meet me later this evening to show me what a good student you can be?" While I was crushed that the frak meant nothing to her, even though I already knew that, here was my chance to make everything up to her. I had promised to be good and this was my last chance to do so.
"Yes sir, I'll be there. Where – "
"I'll find you. Dismissed." I saluted and quickly walked towards the hatch. When I tried to open it, I found it was stuck and I panicked. "It's locked, Cadet. Remember?" Shit, it was indeed locked because I had locked it. Dammit what a fool I looked, just as I was patching things up. I unlocked the hatch and heard Lt. Thrace mutter "I've got a lot of work ahead of me." I leaned against the just closed hatch and breathed, possibly for the first time since I was summoned to the briefing room. She said she'd find me. I couldn't wait.