It's All Fun at the Carnival
"Let's Get Our Faces Painted!"
Dave looked over at Karkat out of nowhere with a sudden realization. "You know, Gamzee's birthday—"
"WIGGLING day," came Karkat's interruption.
"—fucking whatever, is tomorrow, and John hasn't said anything about it."
"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK," Terezi shouted, making them both jump. "NOW you brought it up! You've JINXED us all, Dave, thanks a LOT!" Dave and Karkat stared at her.
"…..I thought you were totally game for another party," Dave said.
Terezi grinned. "I am. I'm just fucking with you." She ducked when Karkat threw a pillow at her head, scurrying out of the room.
"Great, just FUCKING great!" Karkat griped, grinding his teeth. "Knowing Egbert, he's probably gonna get us all up pretty soon to fucking PLAN for this shit!" He flopped back on the couch. "….I…really cant take another party, guys…..I really fucking cant…."
Dave snorted, shaking his head. "Hey, maybe he'll incorporate a piñata this year. That'll be fun."
"The FUCK is a piñata?!"
"It's a paper animal stuffed with candy that you try to hit open with a stick while blindfolded."
"…..okay now you're just making this shit up as you go along."
"No, he's actually not," Rose said, walking over and sitting down with a cup of coffee. "It's actually pretty fun. Especially the bloodbath that comes after you crack it open and you have to fight to get the best candy." Her smile went particularly dark, making Dave and Karkat shudder. "Good times."
"…Don't worry, Karkat, there's LITERALLY no bloodbath. Just a bunch of stupid greedy kids shoving each other to get more candy than anyone else." He papped his moirail's shoulder, noticing an interesting twitch above the troll's eye. "But hey, worst-case scenario, we'll just play Truth or Dare again, and—"
"NO! NO MORE FUCKING TRUTH, AND DEFINITELY NOT FUCKING DARE!" Karkat shrieked, already getting war flashbacks. "NO MORE TWISTER, NO MORE CARDS, NO MORE POT BROWNIES—"
Dave was too busy trying to shooshpap Karkat into a calm state to notice John come running in. He DID notice when Rose dropped her coffee cup on the floor and splashed on his cape. "ROSE, what the hell—"
"HEY GUYS, LOOK!" John said, rushing up, looking jubilant. Karkat looked up and was almost sent into another panic attack.
John fucking Egbert's face was done in Subjugglator makeup. John….fucking Egbert's face…..was done in SUBJUGGLATOR makeup. JOHN FUCKING EGBERT'S FACE WAS—
"Gamzee painted my face for me!" he said, sounding like a little kid at the fairground. "Isn't it cool? He said it makes me 'one of him now', whatever THAT means, but I think it's really neat that he'd do this for me!" He looked around at everyone for approval.
Dave kind of scrunched his face, not liking the look at ALL. Rose just stared. Karkat resisted the urge to jump up and shake some sense into John's stupid, stupid head.
"Aw, c'mon guys, I think it's neat!" John pouted, crossing his arms. "Gamzee's sharing stuff with me, that's got to count for SOMETHING!"
More silence.
"GUUUUUUUH, fine, be that way. I'm going back to his respiteblock, he's got some stuff he'd like me to read. Later!" He waved, heading off.
Karkat was turning an interesting shade of green-red, and Dave had to shake him to remind him to breathe. "WHAT THE FUCK!? IS EGBERT REALLY THAT FUCKING STUPID!? WHAT THE FUCK!?"
"Ease up, Karkat, I'm sure he's really being that stupid. ….Am kinda worried about whatever shit the juggalo wants him to read, though."
"PROBABLY some Subjugglator initiation fuckery!" Karkat shouted. "Did it NOT cross Egbert's TINY FUCKING BRAIN to ASK what that face shit is all about!?"
"…..I'm going to go with no," Rose said, shakily cleaning up her mess. "We'll have a talk with him later…probably about setting some…boundaries."
"More like a fifteen-foot high metal fucking fortress wall," Karkat grumbled.
In the hallway, John and Gamzee were almost falling down giggling and laughing so hard. "I THINK KARKAT STOPPED BREATHING!" John wheezed, wiping his eyes gingerly. "Oh…oh man, it was the greatest…!" He sat up straight, grinning. "PLEASE tell me you have more ideas for tomorrow!"
Gamzee grinned, ruffling his moirail's hair. "Oh, I got PLENTY of motherfuckin' ideas to make jokers outta the motherfuckin' ignorants, brother. We'll fill up th' motherfuckin' Prankster's Gambit to the motherfuckin' TOP!"
"Do tell, PLEASE!" John said, heading back to Gamzee's respiteblock. "And make it good, we only have one shot to traumatize everyone with all the fun for your birthday!"
Everyone was getting a little bit wary when they found the transportalizer for the rec room had become disabled, and it was an unfortunate Jade who was given the task of shifting through Space to see what was going on.
Jade slipped up to the rec room, looking around when she saw that it was being decorated in what could only be described as 'gothic circus'. It was honestly creeping her out. She peeked around a few things, pausing when she heard giggling coming from the other end of the room.
She scooted over, peeking around a cloth, sighing when she saw that it was John and Gamzee, who were fixing up something on one of Kanaya's mannequins.
"This is going to be just PERFECT!" John was saying, almost bouncing with excitement. "I cant wait to see the look in their—EEP!"
Gamzee growled when he saw Jade, but didn't react beyond that. She never really gave him any reason to not like her.
"….guys, what's going on?" she asked. "What IS all this? I mean, yeah, it's Gamzee's birthday, but…"
John groaned, sitting back with a pout. "Busted," he muttered. "Busted by my own Ectobiological sister! SO lame!"
Jane decided to give John a break, sitting down. "….tell me what's up, and we'll see if you're busted or not," she said.
About five minutes of explanation followed by another three of Jade laughing too hard to breathe, another player was added to Team Joker.
"Okay, what do you want me to do?" Jade asked, her green eyes sparkling with mischief.
An hour and a half later, there was STILL no sign of Jade, and everyone was starting to get ancy.
"…I'm telling you, something WRONG is going on up in there," Dirk said, chewing on his lip.
"Well, we need someone else to go in and pop back up," Vriska said. "I vote Jake."
"Go bugger yourself."
"Ooooooooh, what a mouth you have on you, Jake…"
"BOTH OF YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Karkat snapped, his nerves almost shot. He was about to suggest something when the light on the transportalizer blinked on, signaling it was functional again. "….it's back online."
"...so who's going?" Everyone debated among themselves when Rose shoved everyone aside.
"You're all such wimps, and more than half of you are God Tier! Honestly…" She stepped onto the transportalizer and was zapped up to the rec room. "Everyone can be such babieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…."
She broke off when she saw what was going on up here, and even by HER standards, this was high on the creep factor.
Now, she considered herself something of a connoisseur of the dark, but something she never told ANYONE was that she had a SLIGHT fear of carnivals. Bad experience in the third grade. Weird clowns. Stuff MAY have been set on fire.
"…h…hello…?" FUCK, she DIDN'T just stutter…!
"HI ROSE!"
Rose shrieked, jumping right off the transportalizer. "FFFFFFFUCK, JOHN, DON'T DO THAT!" she shouted, trying to save face. "What the actual fuck is…" She broke off when she looked up at him.
John was grinning at her, again wearing that damn makeup, but his God Tier outfit was gone and replaced with a black long-sleeved shirt and a set of black pants with purple polka-dots that look like they came from Gamzee's own wardrobe. The overall effect was very discerning.
"It's Gamzee's birthday party!" John said. "We talked it over, and he decided he wanted a 'Dark Carnival' theme. You're the first one to show up! Are the others coming?"
"….uh…..uhm….well—" She was spared having to answer when the transportalizer brought up everyone else in a tight group, everyone looking ready for a prospective fight. Everyone's expression then ranged from confusion to terror.
"Oh great, you're all here in time for Gamzee's birthday party!" John threw his arms out as a showing of welcome. "Welcome to the Dark Carnival, everyone!"
"…oh, FUCK THIS—"
"No, don't go, Karkat, it's a party!" John slung his arm around Karkat, grinning almost manically. "Besides, it's Gamzee's birthday, and you wouldn't want to make him SAD, would you?"
It took every ounce of self-control for Karkat to not whimper. He wouldn't do it. He'd die with dignity, gogdamn it.
"Now, let's all prepare up and have some fun!" John said, heading over to a small stall-like area that had a mirror and several small cases of SOMETHING on a table.
"….PREPARE?" Dirk said, arching a brow. "Prepare HOW?" He tensed when John grabbed his hands and sat him down on a chair.
"You can go first!" John chirped, picking up one of the cases and unscrewing the lid, showing it was filled with white paint, taking up a paint brush. "Face painting for EVERYONE! Non-negotiable, per request of the birthday boy!"
"…this is how I die," Dave said, his eye twitching. "I'm going to fucking die, and in literally one of my worst nightmares." He could only stare as John started up on his alternate-bro's face white and then traced out with dark grey shapes that vaguely resembled the Rage Aspect's sign.
Karkat took the distraction to go for the transportalizer, only to find that it was disabled again. "….fuck me sideways."
John finished up with Dirk, looking around with a smile. "Who's next?" he called.
"….John, where's Jade?" Rose asked, glancing around. John shrugged, pulling up Jane.
"No idea, she's not here with you guys, so who knows? Alright, off with the glasses, Jane, I cant paint with them on…"
Most put up no real fight with the face paint thing, mostly for curiosity's sake, having figured Jade must have chickened out. Dave was almost catatonic while John painted his face, and Vriska had vehemently refused.
"You must be absolutely JOKING if you think I'm putting THAT shit on," she said. John's ever-present smile vanished into a serious scowl that made his unique face paint look that much more disturbing.
"It's Gamzee's special day, Vriska," he said, his voice going about an octave lower, sounding incredibly threatening for speaking so calmly. "And if Gamzee gets upset, anyone who MAKES him upset will deserve NONE of my help. So take off your glasses, let me put the paint on, and we can make this day happy. Or you WONT be happy."
…..to be perfectly honest, Vriska was way too freaked out to protest anymore. That was just plain frightening.
John's happy face returned as he finished her up. "Karkat! Your turn!"
"Fuck you!"
"Kaaaaaarkaaaaaaat….."
"NO!" Karkat remained sitting in the corner, facing the wall. He crossed his arms, intent on being a child about this if he had to, almost jumping a mile when he felt a familiar, strong hand on his shoulder.
"Aw, c'mon, Karbro," came the low, knives-in-your-gut voice of Gamzee. "Don't be a motherfuckin' buzzkill. Join in th' motherfuckin' fun."
Dignity gone. Karkat whimpered, not able to resist when Gamzee practically picked him up and plopped him down on the makeup chair, where John was waiting with the paint. Karkat glanced over at Gamzee, his eyes widening.
Gamzee was wearing a sleeveless purple shirt with black stripes, black pants with purple polka-dots, and black fingerless armbands that came up to his elbows, and an all-new face paint design that was more jagged around the eye and mouth area. Perfect Subjugglator garb. He tapped his lips with a finger, showing his nails had also been painted black.
"Nicely done, Johnbro. You really captured th' motherfuckin' ESSENCE of what th' day is aaaaaaaall about."
"Glad you approve," John said, sitting back. "There! Everyone here, accounted for, and ready for the Dark Carnival party!"
Karkat whimpered again.