2. Is this wrong?

"It's easy: you score if you manage to put the paper ball in the ice bucket."

There had been no uneasiness since they got in the room. Jess was chattier and more relaxed than Rory had ever seen him, and so they had simply enjoyed each other's conversation and jokes, like any two old friends. Rory attributed Jess coolness to the fact that there was no longer the looming shadow of them for him, and so she had gone with the flow and simply appreciated his company, even if feeling deeply sad. They had quickly ruled out eating dinner at the lobby restaurant (Jess must have felt, like her, that making an uncomfortable second entrance to a hotel room with someone other than a partner was unnecessary). They had ordered some room service burgers and watched the latest Spider Man reboot, the most pointless revision of the many the 21st century had seen in its short life. Rory had then told Jess everything about the Gilmore Girls series – Gilmour Girls, really: her grandmother had requested that the name was changed to preserve whatever was left of the family's intimacy shortly before passing away –and that had led to a small Rory meltdown about not spending Thanksgiving with her daughter and mom, especially with her grandma's death being so recent. Jess had tried to cheer her up by grabbing a handful of miniature bottles from the minibar and by quickly making up the lamest game in the history of entertainment.

"The last time I threw a ball was in 2001, Jess, and it was so pathetic that the American League called the school and asked that I was relieved of PE, in case I would forever ruin the image of sports."

Jess crumpled a paper towel and threw it, missing the ice bucket by a good two feet. "I never had the ball sense either, so we're even."

"I fail to see the fun in this."

"It's called competition, Rory. Come on, Ivy League kid: I know ambition runs rampant through your veins."

Rory frowned, scrunched another paper towel and threw it while sticking her tongue out sideways. It went in. "I scored! I fucking scored! Eat that!"

Jess laughed wholeheartedly. "I think this is the first time I've heard you swearing."

Rory blushed. "I'll have you know that I can be as foul-mouthed as a sailor, if I put my mind to it."

"You just sounded like a Victorian governess. Admit it: you don't have it in you."

Rory gulped a whisky miniature. "Dickhead."

"Wow! Not bad for a prissy governess."

"Hey, you… douchecanoe!"

Jess snorted and threw another paper ball, failing even more miserably than before. "Fuck!"

Rory took her turn, scoring again. "I'm actually great at this!"

"Yeah, and I'm rubbish. You were right, it's no fun."

"Hey, you can't change the game now that I'm winning."

"There's just no incentive for me."

"I'll tell you what… if you score, I'll answer any question."

Jess smirked. "Really?"

"Yes, but if I do, you'll answer any of mine."

"Deal."

Jess threw the ball straight into the ice bucket.

"You… prick! You've played me like Paul Newman in The Hustler!"

Jess shrugged his shoulders with an evil grin on his face. "I guess the incentive gave me focus."

"OK, well… shoot."

Jess rubbed his chin, and his face lit up suddenly. "You need to be true, or else the game won't be fun."

"I promise."

"Are you sure?"

"I swear on my honor."

"Name one literary guilty pleasure."

"No way!"

"You swore!"

"You could ruin my literary reputation if this information comes out, Mariano!"

"Still waiting."

"OK… Hunger Games."

Jess pfff'ed. "That's a bullshit answer and you know it, it doesn't qualify."

"Why?"

"It's old, and decent. I want to know what's in your private window search right now."

"Wait… you read the Hunger Games?"

"Of course, I'm an editor, I've read everything that has been popular. Still, it doesn't qualify."

"I read them in my Kindle because I was embarrassed, it sure qualifies."

"If you don't give me something that makes you truly guilty I won't play – think about it, you were having a winning streak."

Rory hesitated. She wanted a chance at asking back. "Fine… fan fiction."

Jess laughed, visibly pleased with himself. "Aha! I knew it. On what?"

Rory finished the whisky miniature to hide her embarrassment. "That's another question."

Jess smirked while throwing a ball. He didn't even look at the ice bucket as the paper ball went smoothly. "Which fandom?"

"No!"

Jess put on a mock stern face. "Rory."

Rory felt her cheeks burn. "Fine… Buffy."

Jess roared. "Please tell me it's smut."

"Fuck off."

"What's your ship?"

"No way in hell."

"Is it Spike? Or are you a star-crossed lovers Angel shipper? Man, this is the best game ever. And to think I had you for a Pride and Prejudice sort of girl!" Rory's sudden flush must have been a dead giveaway. "That, too? I knew it! Oh, you're really bad at this game."

"Hey, don't judge me: shit is real, Jess – romance is dead for me! I need to fantasize about things that are as far away as possible from constantly picking up toys from the floor. Both the 19th century and human-vampire intercourse seem far enough."

Jess took a sip from a miniature vodka. "It's really hard, isn't it?"

Rory's face softened. "It's a handful. But worth it."

"I'm so glad you feel that way."

"What do you mean?"

Jess avoided her stare and opened another miniature. "I'm just proud of you. For being a great mom. Not that I ever doubted it, but I'm still proud. I can see you're in a great place… now."

"Well… yeah, I am. You know it was tough when I found out, I mean – we were more… in contact then. But I figured everything out eventually." Rory remembered with a pang of pain how she had indeed, and how she had come to terms with the fact that she loved Jess when it was already too late. She put those thoughts aside. "Perhaps there's something in parenthood, like a sense that kicks in and gives you tunnel vision, and then there's no room for bullshit anymore."

"Well, it doesn't kick in for some people." There was a bitterness in Jess' voice that worried Rory. "But you're your mom's daughter, after all, so it makes sense that you have the supermom gene."

"Well… thanks." Rory felt really self-conscious, so she tried to shift the focus. "Have you and Angela considered it?"

Jess' face grew somber. He finished the miniature in one gulp. "Yes."

"So?"

"It's hard for me."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to intrude."

"We're playing score and ask, I thought that was the point."

"I didn't score."

Jess stood silent for a while. "I don't mind you asking me anything, score or not."

Rory's heart broke at that. "Yeah... me neither."

Jess looked at Rory seriously, and she suddenly didn't feel like riding the snow storm with Jess was such a good idea. "I'm fucking scared, Rory."

"It's a huge thing."

"What if I don't have the superfather gene? I mean… I clearly don't, judging by my predecessors. If I think about my childhood, about the pain and the insecurity and the drama, and then I think I could be the cause of that, responsible for it, I freeze. I couldn't, Ror. I couldn't stand it."

Rory placed her hand on Jess' shoulder. "I know you'd be the best dad. So if that's all you worry about, you shouldn't. You're not your parents. You wouldn't be that person."

"Ror…" Jess looked at Rory and placed his hand on top of hers. "But I have been. I hurt you so much. I don't think I've ever really forgiven myself for it – and I couldn't hurt someone else again."

Rory froze. There it was – history. There was no escaping it. "I… I hurt you too. There's no need to dwell on it."

"I deserved it for being an asshole first, so it doesn't count."

"It does, to me. I've… never really forgiven myself either. Whenever I think about… stuff I've done wrong, hurting you comes a close second to hurting myself."

Jess hand slowly moved from the top of Rory's to caress her cheek. "Good girl –as long as you don't hurt yourself, nobody else will be able to. It makes me really happy to know that you take well care of yourself now."

A single tear fell from Rory's face. "I don't want to feel guilty about this. Is this wrong?"

Jess winced. "It's not going to be, so don't worry."

"I'd hate to be that person with you. When I had Anna, I swore that I would never disappoint myself again, and I haven't."

"And you won't, I won't let it happen. Come here." Jess pulled Rory to her shoulder and hugged her. "It was just nice to think that we could talk the night through, but I guess we won't."

Rory buried her face in Jess' neck and breathed deeply, taking all of the comforting Jess' smell in she could for the last time, and then broke the hug. "It is what it is, right?"

Jess caressed Rory's hair. "Sleep, Rory. I'll be gone before you wake up."

Rory thought about declining, about leaving right there and then and sleeping in the lobby, but she didn't. She knew Jess would stay true to his word and go back to Angela as a faithful husband, and probably start a family. She settled on sleeping beside the man she had lost five years ago. She was, as always in the ebb and flow of their relationship, so close to the love of her life, and yet so far.