Okay, this is based five years after the first chapter. Same month, same day, different year.
Oh, and before I forget, I'm looking for a beta. (Someone who has beta'd before, or someone who knows how the whole process works 'cause I've never been a beta nor had a beta so I'm clueless ;) Details of what I'm looking for in a beta are on my profile.
Warning: This chapter has a little bit more of the pairings from 'Voices' (All slash, save for the tiniest mentioning of MikaelaXMiles.)All slash haters run. By the way, since it's five years in the future, I'm going to have it where Sam and Bee have bonded. But don't assume in any other side-stories that they are bonded unless I specifically say so.
Edit: Sorry, didn't notice that everything was underlined. ; Stupid FanFiction keeps underlining everything and I keep forgetting to check.
Thoughts
Sparkplug talking in Sam's head.
"Talking."
:Com. Link.:
--
Sam yawned, rolled over, and nearly fell of the berth. Only a certain yellow scout's arm around his waist kept his face from becoming personally acquainted with the floor… Again.
"I love you dearly and all that 'Bee." Sam stated dryly. "But we're either getting a bigger damned bed, or I'm sleeping somewhere else."
Bumblebee chuckled. "We call them 'berths' or 'charging pads', Sam." He chirped, his voice far too cheerful.
"First of all, don't patronize me, you bastard. Second of all, how the hell are you so fraggin' cheerful this early in the morning? Third of all, I don't give a fraggin' damn what the frag you call them, we need a bigger one!"
Bumblebee blinked and, damn him, he seemed amused. "In order, I wouldn't dare patronize you Sammy, I think it's in my programming to always be cheerful, and you've got a point. It's gotten quite annoying to make sure your aft doesn't fall off the berth every morning."
Sam frowned and flipped over the larger mech, using his legs to push his bondmate off the bed. Bumblebee landed on the floor with a satisfying 'thud'.
"Ow…"
"Get a damned bigger berth." Sam said simply before standing up and walking out the door. Before he could get all the way out, Bumblebee leaped up, grabbed his arm, and pulled him back into the room.
"Are you nuts?! Don't you remember what day it is?"
"Wha-" Sam started. He groaned as realization hit him. "Damn it."
"Exactly."
"Don't we get any leniency for being the ones who did it first?"
Bumblebee snorted. "Only if we agree to join their group." The statement came out more of a question, 'Bee's big blue optics staring down at him.
Sam sighed dramatically. "Oh fine. We can do it this year." He said, clearly ignoring his bondmate's triumphant smile. 'Bee had been asking to join the little pranking group for the past five years and he had said no each time. And since he didn't join, 'Bee didn't join. He suddenly leaned over, lightly kissing the bigger mech.
Bumblebee blinked then grinned before tugging on his arm. "Come on, we have to go meet them before they start or we'll be one of their victims."
--
Sideswipe, Sunstreaker, and Jazz looked up, startled, when the door to their 'secret' hide-out (A rarely used storage room) opened.
Jazz relaxed and grinned at the newcomers. "I was wondering if you two were going to join this year."
"Of course we were. It's not like we could've joined the last few years, and it's about time we got to prank again."
This remark roused more than one confused look. "What do you mean?"
Sam would have rolled his eyes -optics, he reminded himself- were he able to. "If we had joined the last few years than we would have been one of the suspects that were immediately rounded up. This way we get to prank and we aren't as likely to die when Ratchet starts chasing all the trouble-makers."
Jazz's grinned broadened. "It seems our little Sammy has finally learned the first rule of the pranking community. When in doubt, blame your buddy."
Sideswipe pretended to wipe away a tear and he sniffed dramatically. "I'm so proud."
Sam's lips went thin in suppressed amusement at his friend's antics. "So how we doing it this year?"
Dramatics suddenly gone as if they were never there, the five huddled around a hand-drawn plan, all business. It was almost as if they were planning to break into a Decepticon base and, if you thought about the reactions of the Ark members last year, it was just as deadly.
As Sam listened to the plan, he came to a realization. They all were going to die. Might as well die having fun.Sparkplug thought dryly.
--
It was two minutes into the plan and he already regretted joining. Their plan included him climbing through the air vents to get to his location. Bastards.Sparkplug thought bitterly, but both knew in the end it all be worth it. As he went down the seemingly endless tunnel, his mind drifted back to conversation about the plan for cameras.
--
Sam looked at the five tiny cameras Sideswipe was holding in his hand. "What the frag are these for?"
"Our sixth member. He'll help us in more… subtle ways as long as we make sure to get records of the prank."
He rose an optic ridge. "Who is this elusive sixth member?"
Sideswiped smirked and leaned forward, whispering the name of someone he would never had suspected. "Are you serious? I can't imagine him having a secret love of pranks."
"Let's just say after years of dealing with us, he's learned to appreciate the subtle art of the prank."
"Right… just one question. When have you, subtle, and prank ever gone together? Yeah, you and prank go together just fine, but where does this subtlety you allegedly possess come into play?"
Sideswipe opened his mouth to protest, closed it, opened it again, closed it once more, then finally said. "Shut up. We just need to plant the fraggin' cameras or he'll stop helping us in the future. And believe me, it makes thing a whole lot easier, and fun, if he's on our side."
"O…kay…"
"Just trust me. Oh, and whatever you do, do NOT tell anyone who he is. That'll ruin present and future pranks."
Sam, waved his hand dismissively. "Yeah, yeah, I get it. So, how are we supposed to do this?"
"Simple, we each plant a camera and a bomb. And yes, the sixth member will plant one too."
"Right, now why do we keep referring to him as 'sixth member' instead of by name?"
"Red Alert has cameras everywhere, we don't want to risk it."
"Alright. Now, where am I supposed to plant my camera and bomb?"
Sideswipe pointed to six black bold X's, the whole thing reminding him a bit too much of the situation that inspired the pranking spree.
"This one is yours."
Sam's optics widened when he realized where exactly that was. "Oh no no no no! You have to be kidding me! Do you want me to die?"
"Sam, you're the smallest. It'll be the easiest for you to sneak into Ratchet's lair."
"Why not send Bumblebee? Ratchet actually likes him."
"'Cause 'Bee is sneaking into Red Alert's lair. You wanna go there?"
"Death by crazy SD is better than death by evil CMO of doom!"
"Too bad. You're going."
"…I hate you…"
Sideswipe smirked. "I know."
--
Oh slag, oh slag, oh slag, oh slag. Sam repeated in his head. This was it. He was in Ratchet's med-bay. No one went into Ratchet's med-bay without his permission unless they were bleeding from their main energon lines.
Hey, don't worry. You're with an All-Spark.Sparkplug said cheerily. I'm sure I can buy you at least two whole seconds to get away.
That's reassuring. Sam replied sarcastically. And why the frag don't you have your holoform out? You could be helping me, you know.
I just had it out for five whole days! I need a break.
Sam froze as he heard something. Oh damn, please don't let that be Ratchet.
It's not. Come on, have some faith in me. Don't you think I'd tell you if I sensed Ratchet coming?
No. You'd think it was funny that I got caught.
True…
Sam decidedly ignored the annoying entity inside his mind, solely focusing on planting the camera, setting the bomb, and getting the frag out of here. He dragged a stool to the corner of the room to help him actually reach the spot he needed. Even with the help of the stool, he could barely reach.
Camera, check. He thought, jumping back to the floor. He dragged the stool across the room, making sure it was exactly where he found it. Next came the hard(er) part. Messing with Ratchet's wrench. He glared at the offending object, looking at it as if would magically jump up and hit his head.
Maybe the evil medic of doom is actually the evil witch doctor of doom! Maybe he cursed it to smack people when he's not in the room! Or-
You're not helping.
But-
Shut. Up.
He carefully picked up the tool, taping the paint bomb on the bottom before just as carefully putting it back down.
OH SHIT! RATCHET'S COMING! RUN FOR IT!
DAMN IT!
Sam bolted, grabbing the stool to help him reach the air vent, not caring that Ratchet would probably notice. The metal grate closed over the opening with a faint snick.Did he see us?
I don't think so…
He watched with bated breath as Ratchet walked into the room, knowing Sparkplug was watching through his optics. Just as he thought that they -Whether you like it or not, you're involved too, Sparky, Which means you'll also get in trouble. Damn it!- were in the clear, Ratchet froze, glaring at the stool.
"What the frag…" He started reaching for wrench, ready to throw it at whoever had dared to enter his med-bay. But as soon as he picked it up…
Sam snickered at Ratchet's outraged cry as the medic suddenly found himself (and the med-bay and everything in it) a nice bright pink. And yellow. And green. And orange, red, blue, purple, and just about every other color you can think of. It seems the twins had saved the awesomest -Which was totally a word despite Prowl's insistence that it wasn't- paint bomb for the medic.
Before he could stop it, another chuckle escaped, alerting the medic. Ratchet glared at the grate. "Primus have fraggin' mercy on your fraggin' spark, whoever the frag is up there, because when I get my fraggin' hands on you, you'll just be a pile of fraggin' scrap!"
Seems we caught him in a good mood.
A very good mood. Only five 'Frag's'. New record. It's usually at least fifteen. Luckily, Sam already had his escape route planned, slipping down into a hallway right in front of the med-bay. Less than a second later, Ratchet came barreling through the door, smashing right into him. "Ow…"
"Frag it kid, get out of my way." Ratchet immediately stood up, peering around. "Have you seen anyone else around here?"
"Nope, no on- Jeez Ratch! What the hell happened to you!" Sam exclaimed, exuding innocence.
Ratchet cast a quick glare at him before continuing looking around. "Some stupid aft fragger thought it would be funny to put a paint bomb in my med-bay. You have any idea who did that, Sam?" Ratchet asked, his voice taking a decidedly menacing tone to it.
"Me? Why, I'm as innocent as the day I was born. Or sparked, whatever you guys call it."
"We call it sparked, but for you it could be either way. Your first life, you were born the human way. Your second life was closer to our way, but not exactly. And it's not you that I'm worried about. It's those fraggin' twins that are so troublesome. And since you, 'Bee, and Sparkplug are always with them, I figured they might have told you something."
"They never tell us anything about their pranks." Which was true. The twins never did tell them anything about their pranks… unless they decided to join in on the prank, but that was beside the point.
A suspicious glare his way, but that was the extent of the medic's ire toward him. The irritable mech ran off without another word, undoubtedly to tell Prime the twins were on another pranking spree. Which made him wonder, why was Ratchet so surprised? They had been doing this every year for the past five years… He decided not to scrutinize it too deeply. He opened up a private link the twins created, a six-way going to all the members. :Ratchet is done. I'll retrieve the camera before anyone finds it. How are things going on you end?:
:All good, Sammy.: Sideswipe replied. :They should explode in 3...2...1...:
Immediately, two screams of outrage. :Awesomeness.: Sam said.
:According to Prowler, that's not a word.:
:It's not, but fake words are more fun.:
:I agree with you there.: Bumblebee said.
:Surprise, surprise. The lovebirds agreeing on something.:
Although Sunstreaker would have sounded harsh to someone who had just met him, those who know him knew he was just teasing. Sam decided now was a good time to change the subject. :Jazz, 'Bee, sixth guy I'm not allowed to name 'cause Sides is too paranoid. When are yours going to blow up?:
:Once we plant them: Mysterious number six said dryly. (A/N Don't worry, you'll eventually find out who he is. ;P)
:You haven't planted them yet?: Sunstreaker asked, incredulous.
:Don't give me that crap. You slaggin' twins had it easy. 'Jack and Blue, for Primus sake! Frag, considering who Sam had, I'm surprised he's done so early.: Jazz said.
:He has a point. I mean, 'Bee has the most paranoid person I've ever met, Jazz has the most trigger happy-est person I've ever met, and the other guy has the biggest person I've ever met. Not exactly easy.: Sam said.
Jazz laughed at the descriptions. :Exactly.. Alrighty, all set. 3...2...1...:
Another outraged cry that set off a wave of laughing from all six members.
:Awesomeness.:
:Still not a word.:
:Don't give a damn.:
:321GO!: Bumblebee said in a rush. Another shriek, another laugh.
:Only one more to go…:
--
The still normal colored Optimus Prime looked at the group of multi-colored Autobots, each demanding for him to fix this now. He rubbed at his 'temples', a trait he had picked up from the humans. Undoubtedly the twins and Jazz, as it was every year, but considering the time between the explosions, they probably had finally corrupted the two youngest members of their team. The paint they were using was more than likely the same paint they had used on Starscream years ago. Can't wash it off and can't paint over it.
"Wheeljack. Do you have any more of the solvent to dissolve that paint?"
"No. And it'll take me at least a week for it to be done if I start this very second."
Ratchet pushed his long-time friend in the direction of his lab. "Then get started. I do NOT want to stay these-these fraggin' colors any longer than I have too."
The usually polite inventor glared at him before making his way to his lab.
Optimus sighed. "I'll go round up the twins…"
Prowl put a gentle hand on his leader's back. "I'll help you." He hid his smirk as the discreet bomb stuck. "But I'll go that way." He said and immediately walked down the opposite hallway. He let his smirk show at the undignified roar of Optimus Prime as the paint bomb exploded. Hopefully he was still close enough to have hit the others.
:All done.:
:Cool. Meet us back at our base.: Sideswipe said.
:Which, as it turns out, is only a crappy, rarely-used storage room…: Sam muttered.
:Shut up!:
--
Prowl walked into the 'crappy, rarely-used storage room' and looked at his teammates. "I must admit, this was an… interesting day. Though, considering how fragged off everyone was, I suggest all of you go on a 'road trip' for a few days. I don't care what you do, but you can't be on the Ark for the next week or so or you'll all end up dying."
Sparkplug materialized right beside Sam. "I agree with him. I'm young, by All-Spark standards, and I'm not ready to die."
Sunstreaker looked at him. "You're the bloody fraggin' All-Spark. Why are you afraid of Hatchet?"
Sparkplug sent a wry look his way. "Have you met Ratchet? Primus himself would be terrified of him."
The twins looked at each other, feeling a new level of fear about Ratchet. Sure, they were terrified of him, but he was scary and threw stuff at them. But having an All-Spark afraid of him… "Frag it."
"Exactly. Now, let's go."
"Too late." Red Alert said from the doorway, everyone save for Wheeljack and Ratchet (Thank you Primus) behind him.
--
Sam and Bumblebee struggled desperately in Ironhide's grip. He grumbled and shifted. "Stop moving, frag it."
"Stop moving? Stop moving?! I will not stop moving! You're about to tell Ratchet that I was the one that painted him! I've only lived for twenty-three years! That's young by human standards! I'm not ready to die!"
"Yeah, and I'm only a thousand and twenty-three years old! Young by our standards! I'm not ready to die either!"
Ironhide paused, looking thoughtful. "You know Prime, maybe they got a point. I mean, sure I wouldn't hesitate handing over those two to Ratchet," He said, gesturing to the twins. "But these are our last younglings. Do we really want them to die so early?"
"Hmm… Alright, you two can go the brig without seeing Ratchet. I believe that I'd miss you if you died too soon."
The two sighed in relief and immediately stopped struggling as Ironhide carried them to the brig, afraid that he might change his mind and drag them back to Ratchet.
--
Sideswipe grinned as he was pushed into the overly-large cell where all his 'prankster buddies' were. "Well, congratulations Sam, Prowl for finally being sent to the brig. This is you're first time here, isn't it?"
The two nodded.
"Ahh, well, don't fret. I have a way to get us out of here." Sideswipe suddenly bent down on his knees. Sunstreaker jumped onto his back, pushing a tile on the ceiling up.
"Come on, let's go." The yellow twin said, pulling himself through the hole.
Although Sunstreaker was easily able to get through the hole with help only from his brother, the three shortest mechs in the entire Ark needed a little bit more help. (A.K.A. Prowl sitting on Sideswipe to help them up.) After that, it was fairly easy for them to escape.
"Great, more air vents…" Sam sighed. He stopped as he heard voices. He looked down, through the metal grating, and saw their victims, now perfectly normal. What the hell happened to their paint?
"Turns out I did have a bit of extra solvent." Wheeljack said cheerily.
That explains it. :Sideswipe.: He said to the mech right behind him, via com. link, not wanting to risk being overheard. :Do you happen to have any more paint bombs?:
:Nope, just a paint grenade.:
:Why do you ha- Never mind. I need it.:
:Why?:
:Because it turns out Wheeljack had extra solvent. Their all normal colored again.:
:Well that won't do. Here.: Sideswipe arm appeared beside him, grenade in hand. Sam smirked and dropped it in the middle of their unsuspecting victims.
"What the fr-"
BOOM!
:Run guys, run!:
They immediately sped up and was out of the Ark in less than a minute.
"So… how about that road trip?"
--
Okay, not exactly how I wanted to ended it (At first I planned it so Prowl wasn't caught) It's not as good as the first chapter, but… meh. I might add more, but for now I'll just mark it as finished. Tell me how you like it. And as usual, tell me if you see any mistakes.