"Holy ****!" I said. "Aliens!"

There was a huge alien ship in the sky, descending into the skyline. It looked like a big, black sunhat but it was definitely a spaceship!

"Why do you have to swear so much?" Asked the boy.

"Cause it's the way I ******* talk!" I shouted. "Have a problem with that?! Huh?!" I froze, looked up at the cricketer, then back at the boy. "You aren't even fazed by this. WHY THE **** AREN'T YOU FAZED BY THIS?!"

"It's complicated." He huffed. "You'd never understand it."

"Try me." I said.

"Your town is being invaded by an alien race, far more sophisticated than you can comprehend." The boy puffed up.

"No ****!" I said, exaggerating surprise. "Really?"

"I WASN'T FINISHED!" He shouted angrily.

"You just have a low opinion of people, don't you?" I asked. "Or is your sense of superiority compensating for something?"

"WHAT?!"

"Stop it both of you!" Ordered the cricketer. "Now, what's your name?"

"Emma." I said, glaring at the boy.

"Hello. This is Adric, and I'm the Doctor."

"Doctor who?"

"Just the Doctor." Said the man, smiling.

"HOW CAN YOU SMILE AT A TIME LIKE THIS?!" I screeched at him.

"Er..." The Doctor rubbed the back of his head.

"We actually deal with this a lot." Said Adric.

"So ET messed with your head, enlarging your ego and ****?" I asked.

"No!"

"What's going on this time?" Asked a new person. I turned around to see two women approaching. One was wearing some sort of purplish, velvety pants suit, and the other was wearing a white shirt and a purple skirt, and shivering in the cold.

"Aliens wanna borrow a cup of sugar." I said, jerking a thumb towards the ship. "WHAT THE ******* H*** IS GOING ON?!"

"Your town is being invaded by... Teraph, it looks like." Said the Doctor. "Emma, meet Tegan and Nyssa."

"You're with these weirdos?" I asked.

"Er..." Said the gal in the maroon, while the woman in the skrit nodded, rolling her eyes.

"Unfortunately." She said. "I'm Tegan. Nice to meet you Emma." She held out her hand and I shook it.

"Likewise." I said. Just then, one of the sunha- ships, shot out a bolt of light. I yelped and dove to the ground, peering up to see... a hologram of what looked like an alien, Mars Needs Moms style.

"Are they really that ugly?" Asked Adric, peering down at me with a smirk on his face.

"Shut up." I said, getting back up to watch the show.

"People of Aspen Stand, Idaho, America, Earth, Sol." It said. "You are harboring a fugitive, guilty of wiping out the population of the Teraph Colony of Yellow Star, Tenai, Kelph. We are giving you one Earth hour for you to turn him over. If not, then we will come down and exact judgement upon you. Do not attempt to escape. Surrender Al-Rash-Uy-Gal." They flashed the mug shots of another Teraph, then returned to the shot of the first alien. "That is all."

The hologram flickered off. There were three seconds of absolute silence, then the town erupted in panic, everybody running everywhere.

"That's nice." I said, half smiling at the spot where the hologram had been. "Judgement. Fun."

"Not really." Said the Doctor. "The Teraph penalty for harboring a fugitive is about five Terran years of heavy labor. Working in ore mines and such."

"I was being-"

"Sarcastic. I know." Said the Doctor. I shot him a death glare, then sighed and buried my face in my hands.

"And I thought high school was ****** up." I muttered. "What's going to happen to us now?"

"Nothing." Said the Doctor. "We'll give them their fugitive, and no harm will be done."

"Huh?" I looked up at him.

"Of course we are." Said Tegan, shaking her head. "We can't get a moment's peace."

"Meaning..." I said.

"We're time travelers." Said the Doctor.

"********." Said I. "Time travelers? What, did you sling-shot around the sun like Star Trek?"

"No!" Said Adric. "That would be hugely impractical! We came here through the time vortex!"

"I'm walking, I'm walking away." I said, backing away from them, then turning around and jogging off.

"Wait!" Said the Doctor, coming after me.

"Listen, as nice as you seem, why don't you check yourself into the clinic?" I asked, ignoring him. "Then they can call the local happy home and you can talk with Ben Franklin or whoever."

"What would Ben be doing in this time zone?" Asked the Doctor. I sighed and turned around.

"Sorry to burst your bubble, but you and your friends are nuts." I said, twirling my finger in the air by my head. "I can buy aliens after a convict, but time travel is impossible! Even as a stereotypical high school outcast, I can tell you that the power needed would be so much, that you'd practically need a hundred Earths to peek at the next election and come back! But you're telling me that you and your friends do it as a hobby? You might as well wear a T-shirt that says 'I'm bonkers!'" I continued walking, pushing my way though the panicking people.

"As crazy as someone who'd run away to the other side of the country, and walk from Baltimore to New York, just so she could get away from it all?"

I froze, then spun around, pulling out some bear spray. "What the **** do you mean by that?!" I hissed.

"My species has exceptional hearing." He said nonchalantly.

"Your SPECIES?!" I asked, mouth hanging open. He nodded and I closed my eyes and shook my head. "I-I need a shrink." I said as the rest of the group caught up to us.

"Doctor." Said Nyssa. "We need to start." He nodded.

"Are you going to help us, or not?" He asked. I thought for a bit, then nodded.

"I must be as crazy as you." I said. "But let's do this."

Bloody: And so it begins!

Emma: About time you got this up.

Bloody: Sorry, writer's block, plus an amazing demand for A Town Called Tardis.

Emma: Excuses, excuses. Hey, where's that annoying Pillow Pet?

Bloody: It's her day off. She's in Vegas.

Emma: That'll attract some stares.

Bloody: In Vegas?!

Emma: True...