A Tale by the Sisters Hameron - Book 2
Chapter 2: Honeymoon
Cameron scowled at House quickly as he fidgeted in his seat, secretly smirking at the t-shirt he was sporting under his leather jacket. It had a large image of Cameron's face across the chest, emblazoned below with the phrase 'I'm hitting that and it's totally hot'. She had pretended to be annoyed, of course, but in reality she couldn't agree more.
He fidgeted again and she turned and frowned at him.
"If you're going to insist on wearing that thing everywhere, the least you can do is sit still for ten minutes. Especially since you insisted on no photos," she seethed.
"But I don't want to sit still," he whined.
"What are you? Eight?" Cameron hissed out of the side of her mouth, all the while forcing a smile.
"I don't know, could an eight year old do this?" He contorted his face into the most hideous expression, tongue stuck out and eyes crossed. She tried to remain stern, but she couldn't. She laughed.
"You're incorrigible," she sighed.
"Among other things," he muttered. House began tapping his cane between his feet. Just when Cameron was about to snap, a voice pre-empted her outburst.
"Princess, it's finished."
"Finally!" House shouted and practically leapt from his seat.
The frightened caricaturist cowered when House snatched the drawing from him roughly. Cameron smiled at him reassuringly and then crutched over to look at the drawing with House.
She snorted. House did not look amused. He handed it to her and limped off toward the boardwalk. She looked again at the drawing and smiled. The twinkling eyes and impish grin were perfectly rendered. But that was not what was causing her to snort in such an un-princess like fashion. No, the snort was definitely caused by the horns, devil's tail and pitchfork inspired cane the House in the picture held.
She paid the caricaturist and placed the rolled up picture into the pack she wore on her back. She crutched over the boardwalk and stood beside her husband. Cameron slid her right hand into his left and smiled when he clasped his long fingers over her delicate ones.
They made their way slowly down the boardwalk, taking in the salt air and ocean breeze of Atlantic City. Sun and sand for Cameron, gambling and buffets for House; close enough to drive but far enough away to avoid work for a week. It was perfect.
They strolled lazily down the boardwalk, hands entwined. Lazily, until House saw something of interest and picked up the pace. Cameron stumbled along behind him as best she could, but finally he released her hand and struck off on his own. Cameron tried to be annoyed, but when she finally saw where House was headed she couldn't help but smirk.
She headed inside to make the arrangements and came back out to find House already straddling one of the tiny mopeds. They had the motorcycle, of course, but with the sidecar attached to convey their luggage, it was hardly practical for idly driving around the crowded beach and casino areas. The smaller moped would be perfect for them, and eliminate their unspoken need to stick to the sights near their hotel.
Cameron was smiling widely until she noticed a young, blonde woman sidle up beside House and run a hand lightly across his shoulders and down one arm. House looked up and revealed only mild surprise the gentle touch hadn't come from Cameron. She watched with irritation as House gave the nubile blonde an appreciative look. When the blonde flashed him a tooth-paste commercial white smile, Cameron crutched over and delivered a violent blow to the interloper's firm, tanned leg. The blonde yelped and limped off. House shrugged. Cameron glared for a moment until House looked appropriately contrite before climbing onto the moped behind him to enjoy the remainder of their honeymoon.
oOoOo
"Oh, it's good to be home," House sighed as he and his new bride dismounted the motorcycle in front of CRIPPLED.
"Mm,hmm," Cameron agreed, reluctant to disentangle her arms from around House's waist. He reached behind him to unhook his cane and her crutch from the newly designed holder, brushing her thigh with his fingertips. She sighed against his neck, causing a ripple of goose bumps to erupt on his skin.
Abandoning their luggage, House and Cameron stumbled into CRIPPLED as best two …well, two cripples could while trying to walk and remove each other's clothing at the same time. Luckily they hadn't gotten very far, or very naked, when a horrific wailing interrupted them.
Love me tender,
love me true,
all my dreams fulfilled.
For my darlin' I love you,
and I always will.
"What is that noise?" Cameron asked, covering her ears in pain.
"Wilson," House growled.
At that auspicious moment, Wilson stepped out of the elevator leading to the sleeping areas of CRIPPLED and spotted the rapidly-losing-their-happy couple. He broke off his singing and launched himself at them.
"House! Cameron! Welcome back! It's good to see you. Did you have a wonderful time? Do you have pictures? Here, let me get your luggage," he brushed past House & Cameron to get their bags from the motorcycle's sidecar.
"Wilson, what are you doing here?" House demanded as Wilson loaded himself down with suitcases.
"Oh, I was just looking in on the lab for you," Wilson answered, avoiding eye contact as he walked back past House and into the lab. House and Cameron followed.
"You wouldn't have happened to do any paperwork while you were here? Maybe filled out a few quarterly reports?" House asked hopefully.
"No, but I did manage to find your desk under the mountain of papers. You might actually find the information you need to finish a report now," Wilson said as he lined their suitcases up by size against the wall.
"Uh, huh," House said, observing Wilson's fussing with interested amusement.
"And I cleaned the fridge out and caught up your laundry," Wilson continued, nudging each suitcase with the tip of his polished loafers so that they all touched the wall evenly.
"Right," House drawled, knowing exactly where this was leading and waiting for Cameron to fall into the trap. Any second now, he though, three, two …
"Wilson, shouldn't you be back at PPTH with Dr. Cuddy?" Cameron asked. House rolled his eyes. He could set his watch by these two, they were so predictable. "I'm sure she must need help getting acclimated. Taking over after Lord Vogler's …. sudden departure."
"Oh, yeah, that, well…She's actually taken on the job quite easily. It's almost like she was born to be an administrator. She loves the job so much, in fact, that I hardly ever get to see her. And when she is home, well it's a lot of stress, I'm sure she doesn't mean to be so moody, but…" Wilson let his voice trail off, and House knew what was coming next. "So, anyway, I thought maybe I could stay here for a few days."
"Oh," Cameron blurted. "Oh." She looked to House, but as usual when it came to matters of tact and gently considering someone else's feelings, he was no help. "Well, Wilson, you know we're always happy to see you, but …"
"There are certain things that we'd prefer to have some privacy about," House said, casting a lusty gaze in Cameron's direction that went clear over Wilson's head.
"Sure, I mean you'd have your days together at home anyway, I mean while I was at the hospital, and I really could just stay in my room," Wilson babbled.
"Allison and I just came back from our honeymoon. You remember those don't you?" House said pointedly.
"Yes, three honeymoons were more than enough for them to be burned into my memory, House, thanks," Wilson snarked.
"Then you remember what the honeymoon phase of the relationship was mostly about," House continued, since Wilson was obviously not getting the point.
"You mean besides the overpriced hotels and ridiculous trinkets and the dozens upon dozens of pictures smiling in front of some statue or building you can't remember the name of when you get home?" Wilson asked.
"Sex, Wilson. The honeymoon phase is about sex. We're going to be having sex. A lot. All the time. Every night. For hours," House said. Cameron blushed from the tips of her toes to the roots of her hair. Wilson stood in open-mouthed horror. "She's a screamer."
"Okay, I'll just be going then," Wilson choked out and practically ran to the door.
"House!" Cameron chastised when the door had slammed shut in Wilson's wake.
"What?" House asked, hooking his cane on the nearest doorknob. "He's gone isn't he? And now I can get busy proving myself right."
"About what?" Cameron asked, already succumbing to his will as he advanced on her.
"That you're a screamer," House murmured as he brushed his lips against her ear. Cameron's eyes slid closed and House opened his mouth to whisper something dirty to her …
"Wilson!" he shouted directly into her ear. Cameron screamed and jumped back, tripping over her own crutch and falling gracelessly to the floor.
"I know, I know, endless shagging," Wilson said as he stepped through the door fully. "But ….oh my god, she's on the floor already! What do you want me to tell the guys outside?"
"What guys?" Cameron asked as she righted herself.
Wilson opened the door to reveal a dozen sharply dressed soldiers, each with a silver sword held against his shoulder glinting in the mid-afternoon sun. House paled beneath his stubble.
The soldier wearing the most medals on his chest sheathed his sword and withdrew an official looking document from within the deep reaches of his dress coat.
"Dr. Gregory House, M.D.
Lord General John House and Lady Blythe House request the honor of your presence at a reception to celebrate your recent nuptials, at which time we will be pleased to make the acquaintance of your bride.
Cordially,
Lord General John House, Military Advisor to King Bertram of Cape Wooster, and Lady Blythe House"
"Lord and Lady House?" Cameron questioned.
"Mom and Dad," House growled.
"Oops," Wilson squeaked.
As the group of soldiers marched off back into the distance from whence they came, House rounded on Wilson.
"And how, exactly, did my parents find out about my wedding and have time to plan a reception?" House demanded, poking Wilson in the chest with his cane at various intervals to emphasize his displeasure.
"Oh, well, Blythe called to check in on you because she hadn't heard from you in a while, and I happened to answer the phone and well, you know you can't lie to her …she asked me if you'd been up to anything new and …what could I say?" Wilson stammered.
"You could have avoided having to say anything by not answering my phone!" House shouted.
"You weren't planning on telling your parents you got married?" Cameron asked quietly.
"No, actually, I wasn't," House answered, limping back toward the door.
"Wait a minute," Cameron said, grabbing his cane on its backswing and yanking him toward her. "You weren't going to tell your parents about me?"
"Allison, it's nothing to do with you," House said softly. "I just, my parents and I don't exactly …trust me, it's a bad idea."
"Well I want to meet my in-laws," Cameron said, jutting out her jaw in defiance.
"They're not your anything, they're my parents," House argued.
Wilson watched back and forth, vacillating between concerned and amused at the couple's first real fight.
"They're my in-laws, that makes them part of my family," Cameron insisted.
"And who said we were all going to be a family?" House demanded.
"Um, you did, when you married me," Cameron shouted.
"Well there's some fine print for you," House grumbled. "Look we're not going."
"I say we are going," Cameron snarled.
"I'd love to see Blythe again," Wilson interjected.
"We're not going, and that's final," House asserted.
... by jellybean30