This piece belongs to me, all the characters, with the exception of the reporter, Ken Clarke, belong to Marvel. Even though Marvel doesn't do a good job taking care of them. Poor Guthries. The National Inquisitor belongs to me, and Ken Clarke belongs to me. He'll come into play again. This Guthrie Family's universe belongs to me. It's called Universe 719. Expect more.

Ken Clarke's name was inspired by Clark Kent, who belongs to DC Comics.

The National Inquisitor is an amalgalm of The National Enquisitor and The Inquisitor. Those two papers belong to people that are not me.

Please don't repost this story without permission.

I know the story doesn't exactly read like a real article, particularly in the quotes, but I wanted the characters to have a little more flavour than one would experience in a real Newspaper Article.