AD Oneshots
Summary: A series of oneshots about Arrested Development. In the first one, Gob attempts to explain a food product. Warnings: Language, sexual content, drug use, incest, slash, randomness and stuff that makes no sense.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything!
XxX
Chapter 2: Gob's Blasphemous Prayer
It was Thanksgiving at the model home. The whole family had gathered for dinner, and since Bland, I mean Anne, was there the family decided that maybe they should say grace to keep her from getting all annoying and religious, "His girlfriend is going to be there, and you know how Egg gets about stuff like this," Michael had said, "It's just a few words to keep her from getting more annoying than usual"
"I'll do it if I get to say the prayer" Gob had said. Michael knew he would regret agreeing to it, but at that time he was willing to do anything to keep annoyance to a minimum. Now here they all were at the dinner table. Gob was about to speak and Michael was filled with anxiety.
"Hey, Anne, my uncle Gob is going to say grace" George Michael said to Anne.
"Wow. That's unexpected, considering what a sinful bastard he is" was all she had to say.
Then Gob spoke, disreguarding Anne's comment. Nobody was prepared for this, especially not Michael. Gob began with, "Our brother, who art in the Bluth Company building, Michael be thy name. Thy sanity come, thy will be done in LA as it is in the OC"
"Please don't call it that..." was all Michael could say, "What is he doing?" he thought.
"Give us this day our daily lecture, and forgive us our screw ups, as we forgive those who screw up against us, and lead us not into being ourselves, but deliver us from insanity," he then proceeded with his version of the sign of the cross, first point at Michael and saying, "In the name of the emo," then at Lindsay, "The slut," then at Tobias, "And the closet gay. Oh come on!"
There was a moment of silence before Anne's shrill screech of, "That's blasphemy!" broke it, and everybody's ears.
"Yeah, well you're ugly" was all Gob had to say.
"Have you completely lost your mind?" Michael asked, "What are you, drunk?"
"Why yes I am," Gob said, leaning back in his chair, "Merry Thanksgiving, you (bleep)ers"
Michael knew he would regret it, and he did. If Gob wasn't going to hell for all the things he'd already done, this sacrelige sure would have done it.
XxX
There's number two. Sorry it took so long. Had a bit of writers block.