I can't imagine myself writing in this everyday- not enough happens here.
We had a meeting yesterday, which is why I had to go. The same thing happened that happens every time we have a meeting, we argued. It's like everyone's emotions build up and pressure is added, and it compacts until no one can hold it in anymore.
Everyone had a collective argument, with Luna walking out because no one was listening to her, the adults trying to keep us all calm, and Ron practically blowing his top. What started as one big argument turned into lots of little ones, with Ginny screaming at Harry, Seamus trying to hit Dean, Penelope and Ron…
All that Draco did was put the bag of food he'd brought over onto the counter, and waited in the doorway for me to inevitably walk out. I feel like I should write our conversation down, seeing as I have no one to tell.
I stormed out at the sight of a third argument breaking out, and Draco caught my arm.
"Alright Granger?" He raised his eyebrow, smirking at me.
"Clearly not." I wasn't in a good mood…
I walked past him and up the stairs, and soon heard his footsteps following behind me.
"Any news?" I sat down on my bed; he sat on the chair in front.
"No… I just came to bring food. I know meeting days are stressful."
"Stressful? Understatement of the century Draco."
"I'm surprised you don't enjoy the fact everyone opens their mouths."
"I would, if it was friendly conversation. It isn't, it never is."
"It is with me."
"No, we're not-" I cut myself off, realizing the error of my words.
"We're not what Hermione? We're not friends?"
I was confused. I'd never thought of us as friends, just two people trying to get on for the sake of a war. I stayed silent.
"Oh, that's fine. We're not friends, yet I'm the only one who ever talks to you. We're not friends, yet you're the only person who knows what I've lost to this war. We're not friends, yet I'm the only person who sees you cry, who knows your thoughts. Sorry, how could I have been so stupid? Of course we're not-" This speech is practically engrained into my head, this whole conversation is…
"STOP! Stop it now Draco. I'm sorry, It's hard for me to get my head around all of this."
"Get your head around what? The fact you're the only one I care about?" "Shit." He shook his head, getting up. "I'm sorry, too far… I'll go."
"No it's okay, stay-"
"I'll go." He stepped out of my bedroom door.
What was that supposed to mean? I'm the only one he cares about? That's news to me. I didn't think anyone cared about anything except the end of this war. He doesn't care about me; it just slipped out of his mouth, surely.
Damn it, I wish I had someone to talk to about all of this. The only person willing to talk anymore is Luna, and as much as I love her, what help could she be? I need Ginny right now, but Ginny is too busy worrying. She has to worry for her family, and for Harry. If my boyfriend was the chosen one, I'd be just as anxious as her, but I just miss her.
I miss everyone, and I hate to admit it, but I do. I miss them, I miss Ron, I miss who he was and who we were, and I wish that I could love him how he loves me, but I don't. I miss Harry, I want him to be the same happy, hot-headed boy he used to be, not this man with the world on his shoulders. I miss everyone, and I want them back. I want this to be over, for good.
Who knows when I'll write next, I doubt I'll be seeing Draco for a while so I won't have much to write about. I think I'll try and talk to Luna before I go mad.
Later-
Luna tells me he's in love with me. I knew she'd be no help. At least I got to talk to someone about it though.
Review? :)