A/N – Thanks for the feedback on the last chapter, please keep reviewing. I hope you stick with the story as I have a lot planned for it! Also to those that asked, I will also be updating IDAU too (when I get the chance!)
Alex let out a small sigh as he instinctively put his hand up to run it anxiously through his hair, trying desperately to find the right words to tell her. He couldn't. Instead he just looked at her, his eyes full of emotion, as she looked right back at him, her face full of concern and confusion.
"You're hurt, what happened?" Izzie eventually blurted out breaking the silence.
"It's nothing, I fell," Alex said quickly. That was the second lie he told her!
"You, fell," she repeated slowly, raising her eyebrows a little. He scowled slightly, knowing damn well she wouldn't buy that for a second, she was a doctor after all. Plus, she was pretty much the only person he'd ever met that had always had the ability to call him out on all his bull shit so expertly. That was part of the reason he'd always let his guard down around her, she knew exactly how to handle him.
"You need treatment," she said slightly more forcefully taking a step towards him, as he immediately took a step back.
"I'm okay," he snapped defensively, wishing he had attempted to at least try and patch himself up a little before he had raced down here.
"No offence, Alex. But you don't look okay," Izzie replied, her eyes widening.
"Look, I said I was okay, alright," he said raising his voice, causing a few people to stop what they were doing and look over at them, as a fresh look of shock crossed Izzie's face at his harsh reaction.
Realizing what he had done Alex took a deep breath, he knew he needed to compose himself and keep his cool, he had no right to yell at her, not now. He moved a little closer to her and a lot more calmly, he said, "I just….I just need to talk to you about something, okay, It's important. So, you got time to grab a coffee or something now?"
"Okay, yeah, sure," she replied slowly and seriously, nodding her head as her blond hair fell over her brow slightly and she swept in back, not moving her big expressive brown eyes away from his dark ones, and Alex breathed a silent sigh of relief that she wasn't quizzing him anymore about his injuries, for now at least anyway. Although he knew she wouldn't just drop it all together, this was Izzie after all.
"We can go to my office, it will be quiet there. Just give me a sec," she went on to say as he nodded his head in response and watched whilst she quickly walked over to the same young doctor she had passed her patient chart over to moments before. After a quick conversation she turned and walked back over to Alex gesturing for him to follow her.
"It's just down here," she said as her heels cluttered nosily across the sterile white hospital floor and still in a kind of daze Alex walked along beside her.
"So, you came all the way down from Seattle?" she said.
"Yep," he replied awkwardly.
"That's some way, Alex," she said curiously, as he just remained silent, walking tensely along the unfamiliar hospital corridors.
She was just about to open her mouth to say something else when another young doctor presumably an intern, walked straight up to them, interrupting her. The girl was short and mousey and she chewed on her lower lip as she said nervously, "Er..Dr Stevens, I've got the lab results back on Mrs Harris," passing a piece of paper she was clutching in her hand directly over to Izzie as she shot Alex a shy glance.
They were all silent for a second while Izzie scanned over the page a couple of times, before handing it back to the girl and saying cheerfully, "Okay, well you know what to do, go tell her."
The girl fidgeted a little before saying slowly, "Okay, but what if she's got questions…I don't think I…"
Izzie looked her directly in the eye as she said kindly, "Dr Thomas, despite what you might think, you're an experienced medical professional. How many times did you cover this kind of stuff in med school? You came top of your class, remember? Now go and speak to your patient and explain what her options are, and if she has any questions you can't answer, well you just tell her I'll be along to see her later, okay?"
"Okay," the younger woman said as a reassured smile spread across her face and her attention turned to Alex again as her eyes flitted curiously over him, before she turned and scurried away.
Izzie sure hadn't lost her way with the interns Alex thought as he watched the young girl walk off and he said, teasing a little, "Still got your knack with interns then I see," Izzie had always loved teaching and being so open and positive she really had a way of making them respond well to her. She'd been ridiculed for it by the likes of Yang and Sloan, but it had never put her off, and Alex had admired that. He, himself, had limited patience with interns, unless of course he had wanted to sleep with them. Then he had easily managed to find the time to answer their dumb questions.
In response to his question Izzie just shot him an unimpressed look, before saying a little more playfully, "You know, sometimes the way to get the best out of interns is to treat them with a little respect, like a half decent human being, it really works, you should try it sometime."
"I can be nice to interns," Alex replied smiling a little arrogantly, losing himself in the moment as he saw her catch his eye and smile back and it was as though no time had passed at all as he was hit with the familiar warm feeling he'd always got around her. Before reality set in and he quickly became more serious again, realizing the irony of his last statement was somewhat lost on Izzie as they stopped at the nearest coffee cart. And he watched as seemingly oblivious to his darkening thoughts, she waltzed away from him. Returning moments later with two coffees in her hand, flashing him a bright smile that made him ache all over, as she handed him one and said. "One extra frothy latte, one sugar." He shook his head a little and couldn't help but grin with amazement that she still remembered exactly how he took his coffee. No-one remembered how he took his coffee, not even interns that were trying to impress him. He glanced at her and she grinned some more and said, "Some things never change."
"They certainly don't," Alex replied as he held the plastic cup up to his lips and took a sip. Suddenly hit with an intense feeling of nostalgia and sadness, remembering all the little times she had surprised him with a coffee or one of her muffins or cupcakes to cheer him up when he'd been having a rough day, even when they hadn't been together, even when he'd been being a jerk. It was her way of letting him know she was there, that she cared. After she had gone he had slowly realized, that she was the only one that had ever really cared about him like that. And he wondered how he had gone from the guy who got brought the coffees, to the guy who kept buying the coffees, kept trying to please someone who couldn't be pleased.
…
"Here we go, we won't be disturbed in here," Izzie said as she opened the door to her office and following her inside the first thing Alex noticed was the strong smell of perfume or some kind of scented candles or potpourri, it was exactly how her old room had smelt at Meredith's. It had been a little over powering but he'd kind of liked it all the same, because it reminded him of her.
She gestured for him to sit as she moved to sit behind her desk. Looking around Alex was impressed, her own office, she must be a big deal here. He noticed how tidy and organized everything was, in contrast to the cluttered, muddled mess the office was that he'd shared with Robbins back in Seattle. At first Arizona had given him a hard time about how messy he was, but then she stopped caring, about anything. She was lost, just like he was now. Perhaps, maybe if she hadn't been such a mess, she would have been there for him, noticed what went on, had his back. But as it was she along with Cristina, were the last people to stick by him, despite the mess her own life was in and for that Alex was grateful.
Shaking off thoughts of Seattle and his old mentor Alex watched as Izzie carefully took the lid of her coffee and blew on it, and out of the corner of his eye he caught a silver picture frame to the side of her computer screen and his eyes lingered on it just long enough to see that it was Izzie with her arm around some guy! He suddenly felt a jolt of pain as he noted they looked happy and like they were abroad somewhere, Izzie looked tanned in a bikini top with her hair blowing in the breeze, the guy looked liked the typical smug loser Alex hated, perfect hair, physique, smile. Alex then instinctively glanced down at her hand fiddling with her coffee and he felt a sudden rush of relief as he noted her ring finger was bare, so she wasn't married or even engaged to the loser at least. He then felt mad with himself. He had no right to be jealous. And she had every right to move on. He had. Or at least he'd thought he had! He'd always told himself he'd be glad if Izzie was happy, but he hadn't anticipated just how much it would actually hurt when he found out she was now actually someone else's.
"So, you going to tell me what you're doing here then?" Izzie said, oblivious to what was running through his mind, as she fixed him with an intense stare as he fidgeted a little in front of her.
He cleared his throat and shifted in his seat some more, trying his hardest not to wince with the stabbing pain in his side as he said, "It's complicated, okay…" and he paused, it had felt too good to be around her again, to have someone actually look him in the eye and smile at him warmly, and he wanted to savour that for just a few more seconds before the little looks she gave him faded away and she just like everyone else hated him.
"You're in trouble aren't you?" She quickly said, not taking her eyes off him.
He didn't have to say anything then, he just looked at her, looked deep in to her eyes and their unspoken connection was more alive than ever. He'd never been very good at expressing himself in words, but when he was with her, his eyes told it all.
"Oh, Alex," she said quietly in almost a whisper. She looked away for a second and pressed her lips together. Before her tone changed a little and she said, "How did you find me?"
"My lawyer found out where you were working," he replied, realizing she was probably wondering why he hadn't just asked Cristina or Meredith for her email, 'well he would have done if they were still speaking to him!'
"Your lawyer," she repeated slowly and suddenly looking as though a light bulb was going off in her head she grinned, and her face softened as she looked down at the desk and started to laugh a little, shaking her head as she repeated knowingly, "Your lawyer."
Alex's face darkened, unable to hide the deep scowl forming as he looked on at her laughing. So this was all just a joke to her then, he thought, as he said gruffly, "Something funny?"
"I'm sorry, that was really inappropriate, I shouldn't laugh," she said as she looked back up at him. "It's just, I get it. You don't have to say anything else. I know exactly why you're here."
"You do?" Alex said a little confused, surely she couldn't have figured it out.
"Yes, Alex. You're being sued, right? You have a law suit filed against you?" She said quickly.
"Iz, listen it's complicated…" he said stopping her mid flow.
"Oh, Alex. I know it's easy for me to say this, but honestly it's not complicated."
"What?" He said screwing his face up a little as he sensed a fresh trickle of blood escaping from his nose.
"Here," she said as she handed him a tissue and went on to say "Listen, all the best surgeons have law suits filed against them at some point, I mean it hasn't happened to me yet, but when it does I'll be ready for it…."
"Iz," Alex said again, dabbing his nose as he desperately tried to interrupt her, to explain that she really didn't know what the hell she was talking about.
"No, Alex, listen. I mean I know there are exceptions, but getting sued usually means you're willing to take the risks, to do whatever it takes to get the very best results for your patients, even if that means breaking protocol, even if it means occasionally, very occasionally screwing up. Just look at Shepherd, look at how many law suits were filed against him and the man's a freakin genius."
"Iz," Alex said again a little wearily as she continued to ignore him as she said. "So, am I right in thinking this is the first time this has happened to you? You're out of your depth, so you're doing what you always do when you have a problem, rather than face up to it, you run away from it."
"Izzie," he said again, this time louder and with enough force to make her stop talking and look at him a little startled. She still knew exactly how to push all his buttons, how to make him so mad. 'Dumb bitch', she didn't have a clue, and she sure know a thing or two about running away from stuff, he thought angrily as he felt his fists screw up in to tight balls, trying his hardest to stop himself from yelling right in to her face. But, he knew he had no right to do that now. She wasn't his wife any more, he couldn't treat her like his verbal punch bag. Plus, he wasn't that same angry screwed up guy he'd been when she known him before, ironically he'd changed and grown up, become a man, he'd had to! He had to be the strong one now.
"Look, it's not that simple, okay," he eventually said a little more gently as he noticed her eyes still looking startled and taken aback at his out burst, before she said, "Alex, it is that simple, you get a good lawyer, you settle it. It's not the end of the world, it's not as though you've lost your medical license." And she sat back a little, seemingly unfazed again as she picked up her coffee to sip it.
"No, I guess not," he said his face reddening. That was the third lie he told her!
"What I'm still confused about though, Alex, is why you came here?" She said as a puzzled look crossed her face.
"I need to ask you a favour," he replied, as looking straight at him, she simply said, "Go on."
Alex didn't say anything for a moment as he had a flash back to the reason that he was here. His smarmy lawyer Sam Campbell, had just posted his bail, and he was sat opposite him in some dingy little coffee house. Grinning like an idiot as he said "So, Karev, when were you planning on telling me that you're married?" Alex had instantly flinched as he scowled and said gruffly, "Leave her out of it". That was one conversation he really didn't want to have…Unfazed his lawyer had simply responded with, "What, are you mad? This my friend is your best shot out of this god damn freakin mess you're in, your wife…..your hot wife, I might add", and still grinning he had pulled a piece of paper out of his brief case and said, "Dr Isobel Stevens, attending surgeon at Stanford Clinic, San Jose. Won a gruelling battle with cancer and has now set up a charity to help other survivors of advanced cancers like her, it's all here…" he'd said as he'd waved the paper in front of Alex. "She's even written a book about it, you should check out her webpage and blog. Because you need to contact her and fast, you need to get her in your corner, she's your wife." Alex's scowl had deepened as he'd said with further irritation, "Ex-wife, we're divorced, I haven't spoken to her in years…..it didn't end well," Grimacing as he tried not to picture their parting conversation.
"All the better. If we can get the ex-wife that divorced you, that is the one person with a real legitimate reason to hate your guts, to stand up in front of a jury and state what a decent person you really are, we're laughing. How you cared for her during her darkest times, nursed her back to full health and then did everything you could for her. That 'my friend' is your best shot." Taking in his lawyers words, Alex had looked down at the table and shaken his head, it wasn't going to happen, he wasn't going to let her see him like this, not in a million years. Campbell had held his hands up then as he said, "Listen, Karev, I appreciate this is difficult for you, and honestly pal, the only place you need to be going right now is a hospital, get that face sorted out. So, I am willing to take a little trip down to Sunny California and go and speak to her for you, use my natural charm and boyish good looks to sweet talk her a little. Do a little damage control and so forth. It will be tough, but I…" Alex had then just snatched the paper out of his slimy lawyers hand and with defeat in his voice, he had simply said weakly,"I'll do it." The next thing he knew, he was in his car and driving away from Seattle as quickly as he possibly could.
"Alex, Alex," Izzie repeated snapping him back in to reality, forcing him to focus on the here and now. He shifted again in his chair, wincing with the pain that sitting for long periods of time gave him, as he said awkwardly, "My lawyer wants you to stand up in court and give a character reference for me. You know, say that I'm not a bad guy and stuff…he thinks you're my best shot." He sighed, realizing sooner or later he would have to tell her the whole truth, but for now he could still just let her go on thinking he was being sued by an angry patient.
"Your lawyer wants me to," she said as her eyes reflected a touch of hurt. Causing Alex to suddenly realize how cold and unfeeling that had sounded, just like a business deal, a favour from an old co-worker, and he felt like an ass. But he'd never been good with handling his emotions, so he did what he always did around her when he felt guilty, he lost his cool, as he snapped defensively. "So, will you do it then or not?"
Her eyes widened and matching his defensive tone she snapped, "What, will I stand up in court and say what a great guy you are? Say how awesome you are with your patients, how you really care about their well being, even if that means missing out on cool surgeries. Even if that means dropping your tough guy act…." She paused and her voice shook a little with emotion as she went on to say, "And will I say what a loving, attentive husband you were, how you really stepped up for me when I needed you. How you took care of me when I was sick and stopped at nothing to make sure I was ok, always putting my needs before your own.."
"Alright, alright, you made your point, I should have known you'd react like this," he said moodily, realizing at that moment, that it had been a huge mistake to come here. How could he ever have expected anything different, after the way things had ended between them?
But to his surprise, her brow wrinkled a little with confusion as deadly seriously she said softly with passion, "Why wouldn't I say those things, Alex? When they're the truth." Changing the game completely, and his deep brown eyes flooded with emotion as he caught hers straight on. They didn't need to say anything further, as they both realised, they were still there. The feelings they had always had for each other, they were still there and they always would be.
Izzie looked away and bit her lower lip as she said, "But I still don't get why you came all this way to ask me? I mean why not ask someone you work with every day? Meredith or Bailey?"
Alex felt his jaw clench, as a bead of seat broke on his forehead and a wave of nausea and dizziness hit him as he thought back to his last conversation with Meredith. She had come to the door, her eyes all apologetic and teary and he had known. She was a mother and wife she had responsibilities now and she had to put her family first. He didn't like it, but he understood it. He didn't particularly care about any of the others, Avery, Hunt, Bailey..but Meredith, that all but killed him when he realized he had lost her. Apart from Izzie, she had been the one person in his life that had truly accepted him and loved him for who he was.
Izzie was still looking at him expectantly and his sadness turned to anger as he gripped the side of the chair, the pain in his side excruciating as he tried to stand up, his palms clammy as he pushed himself in to a standing position. He just needed some air, he was at breaking point as he looked at her and said angrily for the last time, "Look, will you do it or not? Or am I just wasting my time here?" Holding on to the side of the chair, poised to walk out.
"I'll do it….. On one condition. You let me take a look at those injuries first. You're badly hurt, Alex. You need help," she said forcefully.
Alex opened his mouth to protest one last time, and then, it all went black.