Five Years
Chapter Two
Disclaimer: I do not own anything mentioned in the following fanfiction, except for the character of Penelope Richmond. She is of my own design.
"This is a joke, right?"
"James, please, just listen—"
"Just please tell me this is a joke. How do I have a son and not know about it?" he shouted, raising his voice and his body as he rose from the couch, his face painted with confusion, anger and disbelief all at the same time. She'd never seen him look this angry before and at the same time so confused. She watched him look back at the photo still in his hand, his hands shaking slightly.
"James. I promise I'll explain everything but I just need you to be quiet or else you'll wake Jake" she said in a hushed tone, standing up and out of her chair as she looked at him warningly, her eyes threatening. Her temperature was beginning to rise now. It was bad enough that she had to deal with him being back but she wouldn't stand for him disrupting her life anymore than he already had.
"Oh, of course I need to be quiet, because I might wake up my son!" he shouted again, his face and tone still a mess of emotion. She rounded around the coffee table separating them and started pushing him towards the door, pushing him all the way through it until she pulled it shut behind him.
"I know this is a lot to process, James—"
"A lot to process? Almost having your ship destroyed by Klingons is a lot to process Penelope, this is...this is..." he said, unable to finish his sentence as she could see by his face that he was at a loss for words. That and he called her Penelope. He never called her Penelope. He shook his head, turning away from her as he paced down the front porch and back again, his eyes on the picture still in his hands.
"How did this happen?" he said in a weak voice to her after a few minutes of heavy silence, looking up with such confusion in his eyes that it practically broke her heart.
"Well, we weren't exactly safe about it James. But then again I don't think either of us anticipated on having sex that night. We went out, celebrated you becoming the youngest Starfleet Captain and next thing you know, we'll rolling around naked in my bed" she explained in hopefully plain enough English that he'd understand. She leant against the door behind her, arms folded loosely over her chest as she watch James do another lap of her porch.
"And you weren't on the pill?" he asked finally, looking at her with the faintest traces of accusation which only made her temperature rise more.
"James, when in our eight year friendship was I ever having sex? You knew what my life was at the Academy, you knew that I never saw anyone, so don't give me this pill bullshit. I wasn't on it because I didn't need it. Which begs the question, where the hell was your condom that night?" she said, accusing him back. She watched him turn mechanically towards her and laugh, his tone robotic and cold.
"Oh come on. You're telling me that not once during your three years at the Academy you never got laid?" he scoffed at her, shaking his head again in scepticism.
"No! I didn't! You see, unlike you James, I don't have Captaincy in my blood. Things didn't come to me as naturally as they did to you. So I had to work damn hard at everything I did, and that didn't leave much time for relationships let alone sex" she exclaimed, throwing her hands up and grunting in frustration, running a hand through her wavy hair in an attempt to calm herself down.
"But before that, were you having sex. Before the Academy?" he demanded, standing closely in front of her now.
"Before the Academy, yeah. I was nineteen when I got recruited, you were twenty two. We were both having sex back then. But the difference is that I stopped needing birth control after I stopped having sex for over six months. You, however, never stopped having sex which begs the question again James, where was the condom" she said, laying it all out again for him in plain English.
She watched him silence in frustration, doing another few laps as his eyes locked themselves back on the photo, Penelope visualizing the way his brain must have been processing this new development. She knew the way he thought, the by product of being someone's best friend for three years, so she pretty much understood everything he was feeling.
Confusion as he tried to recall the beer and tequila fuzzy memories of that night five years ago.
Anger at her for not telling him sooner.
Disbelief at the fact that he had a son.
Guilt for never having been here for her.
Anxiety at the fact that he was now a father.
Worry for what she was going to expect of him.
And a very small part of him, or so she wanted to believe, was inexplicably thrilled by the fact that he now had someone to carry on his name. But that maybe just have been what she'd want him to feel.
"Look, we can sit here and play the blame game or we can just suck it up, realize that we both took part in the production of Jake and move on" she said eventually, tired from the late night and all this drama. She watched as he sat down on the porch veranda, picture still in his hands, eyes still trained on it.
"What's his full name?" he asked slowly, not bringing his eyes up to look at her. The cool night time California air produced a slight breeze, washing over them faintly and tickling her wind chime, producing a quiet harmonic sound.
"Jacob George Kirk"
He looked up now.
"You named him after my father?" he asked, both quietly and incredulously. His features had softened considerably, gazing at her now with such emotion that even she was slightly overwhelmed with it. She'd forgotten how big of a heart James had whenever he got around to showing it.
She nodded once, a faint smile coming to her lips as it drew out one on his.
"My dad wasn't really around much and I knew how much you looked up to your old man" she explained, moving over to her swinging porch bench as she sat down slowly. Another silence set in as she watched him look back down to the picture for what seemed like the infinite time, his expression still one full of emotion.
His next question was the one she'd been preparing herself for for the past five years.
"Why didn't you tell me, Pen?" he asked quietly, looking back up again.
She sucked in a breath and readied herself, knowing that this question would make or break their future as friends.
"Because I knew you'd come back. I knew that if you found out I was pregnant you'd relieve yourself as Captain of the Enterprise and I never wanted that for you. The Enterprise was and is your dream James. What kind of person, what kind of mother would I be if I asked you to step away from all that?" she asked, giving the answer she'd painstakingly put together after all the years alone.
"The kind who was pregnant with my child! What—wasn't it hard doing all of this on your own?" he exclaimed, standing up now and beginning to pace again.
"Hell yes! I went through nine months of pregnancy, twenty hours of labour, and the past four years all on my own. Raising him on my own was the hardest thing I've ever had to do James, but I wouldn't change a thing" she replied, giving him a wise look that he just ignored, still too worked up over everything to even notice.
"Why not? If you'd told me about him when you were pregnant I would have come back and helped you. You shouldn't have to have done this all on your own" he said to her bitterly, showing some of the guilt she knew he'd been feeling.
"James, you know me. I would have never asked you to come back and help. I know what being Captain means to you. The fact that you, for even a second, think that I would have asked you to step away from that hurts me, a lot" she said to him, conveying her feelings through her eyes so he knew exactly how she felt. She knew that they hadn't seen each other in a while but she knew he knew her better than that.
Ever since they'd met, the very first day of Orientation at the Academy eight years ago, they'd always had this psychic ability to convey things with their eyes, more than normal people could. They could have entire conversations just by looking at each other, a feat that has apparently worn off during the past five years.
"Pen, I didn't mean it that way. I just meant that...God, you shouldn't have had to raise him on your own"
"Maybe not. But neither of us planned for this, James. You were half a galaxy away when I found out. Not exactly the best circumstance to try and get a hold of your baby's child" she pointed out, once again looking at him expectantly. She knew the argument was won so she leant back, seeing in his face the first stages of acceptance.
"We have a son" he said in a low voice, looking up from the picture and at her with soft eyes.
"Yeah, we do" she noted, giving him a smile and a nod.
"What's he like?" he asked quietly after a few more seconds, his voice delicate. She could tell he was hesitant about asking this question, and she was hesitant answering it.
"He's a great kid. Smart, funny, caring, a little arrogant with some things but I think he takes after his father that way" she joked, withdrawing the first chuckle from him since the conversation started.
"What did you tell him about me? You know, when he started asking where his dad was and stuff?"
"I told him the truth. That his father is very, very brave man who's out there exploring the universe. I told him that the reason his dad was never home because he's too busy keeping us safe from the evil aliens" she said, withdrawing another chuckle. He set the picture down on the table beside him and then leant against the railing, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Does he know who I am?" he asked next.
"He's seen pictures of you. But does he know that you're Captain Kirk? No. But I'm sure that day is coming. There's only so long you can go with a name like Kirk and those blue eyes before someone puts two and two together" she reasoned, shrugging her shoulders once.
"How come you gave him my last name?"
"Because he's your child, just as much as he is mine. Besides, don't you remember that conversation we had during our first term at the Academy? You told me that if you were ever going to have a family you'd want a boy. Just one. We might not be a family but I figured this was the closest you were ever going to get with your job" she noted, once again shrugging her shoulders.
"You're probably right about that" he muttered, looking back down at his feet and then up.
"What am I suppose to do, Penny? I mean, this changes everything. I have a son now..." he started, once again getting up and pacing.
"You're going to have a relaxing two weeks here on Earth and then you're going to get back on the Enterprise and keep doing what you're doing, James. I didn't ask anything of you then and I'm not going to now" she said, rising from the bench and walking back towards the door, leaning back on it.
"I don't know if I can do that, Penny. I don't know if I can just leave after finding out about him. I saw how much my mom struggled to raise me by herself and I don't want that for you. And then there's the whole absent father thing. I grew up without a Dad and I do not want that for our son. Look how I turned out" he said, stopping in his tracks as he put his hands on his hips for a short while before starting to pace again
"What, you mean the youngest Starfleet Captain out there on one of the best ships the Federation has? Because if that's what children raised in single mom households become, you can leave now" she teased, taking more enjoyment in the situation than she should have. He threw her a dangerous look and she backed off, taking secret enjoyment by the fact that he'd just said 'our' son.
"That's just a job. I'm talking about me Pen. Life growing up would have been a lot easier if I'd had a dad around to kick my ass whenever it got out of line" he noted, stopping his pacing one again as he bent his head down and rubbed his eyes tiredly, his heading given a gentle shake.
"Look. Why don't you take a few days and process this, okay? There's no point in trying to figure all this out in one night at two in the morning" she said, going over and putting a gentle hand on his shoulder, keeping it there as he turned around to face her. She watched him look up from his feet and at her, nodding his head once before turning to go without even a word of good bye.
"Hey James?" she called after a few seconds, smiling at his retreating form as he turned to look at her.
"I'm really glad to see you" she said as he gave her a gentle smile in return, turning to head to bed as she tried to kill the butterflies in her stomach that just his smile still managed to arouse after five years of being gone.
((Author's Note: So I got some really awesome response from the first chapter so I've decided to write another and see where it takes me. As some of you mentioned, this isn't the most original story line but I do have a lot of ideas that I'd like to see develop. Anyways, let me know your thoughts on this and we'll see where that takes me =] Please review, and thanks in advance))