A/N: Chapter one! We find out what was in that folder.

The story's title is taken from the lyrics of "The Remedy (I Won't Worry)" by Jason Mraz. I own neither the song nor any of the characters from Naruto.

I do own Sashimoto Ayame, however. She is my OC. As is Hiko-sensei, who is very much based off "Seijuro Hiko" from "Rurouni Kenshin."

Once more, this is AU!

Chapter One: Collateral

March 27

Genma reported to the missions desk a week later, precisely at two-o'-clock sharp on Thursday afternoon. It was quite a feat, considering he was on crutches. He was not used to crutches. Slings, stitches, braces...but not crutches. It made him somewhat exasperated, and not a little annoyed. He had discovered it was quite impossible to carry much of anything while crutch-encumbered, and was very annoyed by that. So he was doubly encumbered by the small back-pack slung over his shoulder. The backpack contained the folder he had been given a week ago, as well as a few drugs and a bottle of water.

The Hokage smiled up at Genma serenely. "Ah. You accepted. Wonderful."

"Wait just one minute. You're putting me--ME! As the teacher of Genin team?" Genma demanded. "I only just made Tokubetsu Jounin a year ago. Why me?"

Steepling his fingers, the Hokage sighed--mostly for the benefit of those watching the showdown between the shinobi on crutches and the Sandaime. "There are very few shinobi left in Konoha. You know that. We're still cleaning up the village from what happened two years ago. If I allowed it, the Council would rush all the students currently in the Academy to graduate."

"That's suicide," Genma blurted, appalled at the idea.

"I realize that. Which is why it's not happening. Instead, I am dividing what little strength I have very carefully. Most of the injured Jounin and Tokubetsu Jounin, such as yourself, are being assigned to mentor Genin teams while they recover. Normally, we do this based on experience and personality. But we just don't have that luxury." The Hokage sighed again. "Are my reasons valid?"

Genma blinked, then nodded. "Hai. Wakatta." He bit his lip. "Sumanisen, Hokage-sama."

"Daijoubu. Now, you might want to get to the Academy. You'll be meeting your Genin team there at three, I believe." Genma whipped his head around to see the clock on the wall. He had thirty minutes--but the Academy was halfway across town. A ninja on crutches was not a fast ninja. Muttering a muted curse, Genma hobbled out as fast as he could get.

Genma managed to arrive with five minutes to spare. He met a group coming out--a Jounin by the name of Miroku, who had broken both his arms just last week and had both casts in slings. The three kids trailing behind him looked bewildered and quite young. Genma and Miroku nodded to each other as they passed.

It was cool inside the building. Genma crutched along the halls. He was nearly run down by a figure turning the first corner.

"Whoa! Oh, I'm sorry!" With a flashing step sideways, the young man avoided the impending accident. "Oh, you're a Jounin? You're heading towards class AEC-8, next hall down. Hiko-sensei is standing outside the door. You can't miss him." The young man smiled brightly, and took off again.

Genma shook his head. He replaced the three senbon back up his sleeve, and set off again. He had very nearly poked the bustling young man full of holes. Genma disliked being startled. Especially when he knew he was in no condition to fight. Genma frowned, and made his way to the correct hall.

"Hiko-sensei" was indeed hard to miss. Hiko was a man that towered above Genma's five-foot-eleven-inches, with a muscled frame that was quite impressive. Hiko looked Genma over with a critical eye. "And you are?"

"Shiranui." Genma hobbled closer. "Team...Thirteen, I think?"

Hiko nodded. "And good luck. You'll need it." He opened the door and poked his head in. "Gekkou! Sashimoto! Umino!"

Genma winced. The bellow was impressive in volume. It nearly hid the eager running of three sets of feet. The children filed out, and three pairs of eyes fixed on Genma. Genma stared back. None of the brats stood higher than his elbows. The girl had red hair, and the two boys had brown and black hair.

"Aw, man, they gave us a broken Jounin!" the little brown-haired boy complained.

"Oi," Genma snapped.

"Umino! Behave," Hiko growled.

The boy winced, then grinned. It made the scar across his face crinkle up. Genma did not like that grin. It was unrepentant and promised mischief. The black-haired boy leaned away from his companion, obviously expecting some trouble. The girl actually stepped aside. With a wicked cackle of laughter, the brown-haired boy took off down the hall, nearly knocking Genma off his crutches. Before Genma could recover, a warning cry came from one of the other children before they, too, took off down the hall. Genma discovered why when the stink-bomb went off.

The three children were sitting under the tree outside when Genma finally limped out of the Academy. The girl was viciously scolding the brown-haired boy. The black-haired boy was watching the doors. As soon as Genma hobbled out, the boy hopped to his feet and trotted over. He stopped in front of Genma and bowed. Genma stared down at the boy's unruly curls.

"Sumanisen, sensei. Iruka is very rude, but please don't hold that against him." The boy stood upright and smiled shyly. "I'm Gekkou Hayate."

"Call me Genma." Genma frowned over at the girl and Iruka. "That brat needs to learn some manners."

He hobbled over to the other two, trailing Hayate. The girl broke off her scolding and jumped upright. "Oh! Sir! Sumanisen. I'm Sashimoto Ayame. And that--" she jabbed a finger down expressively, "--is Umino Iruka."

"Sou da na." Genma stared at them all for a moment, pulling up his best poker face. "You can call me Genma-sensei. And consider yourselves lucky I don't fail you on the spot. Pranking your Jounin mentor will not endear you to them."

"Oh, it wasn't you," Iruka chirped, turning a sunny smile up at Genma. "You were collateral. Gomen. I just wanted to get Hiko-sensei one more time. So he'd remember me, of course." Iruka bounced to his feet and swept a generous bow to Genma. "I am Umino Iruka, prankster and ninja extraordinaire, at your service, Genma-sensei."

Genma blinked, and fought against the urge to smile. Iruka was not what he seemed at first blush. Well, neither was Genma himself, he thought wryly. He looked down at the three Genin. Despite Iruka's flourish and apparent confidence, all three were looking at him a little nervously. He supposed they would be. He had read the files on them, but he knew files--no matter how detailed--were no substitute for the real person. He looked around. The tree seemed lonesome enough for a first meeting place. Genma hobbled over to the dangling swing, and carefully got off his accursed crutches. Once down, with his injured leg propped out, he looked at the children, who were semi-circled in front of him.

"You know my name. I know yours. But that's it. So...I'll start. I'm Genma, I like tea, I'm good with senbon, and I don't like spinach." Genma reached into a pocket and worked one of his poisoned senbon loose of its case. He promptly stuck it in his mouth, rolling the metal between his teeth. "And I'm on crutches. Your turn, little lady."

The girl blinked, and blushed. "I'm Ayame. Um, I like sweets. I'm good at remembering things. Um...I don't know what I don't like. Maybe boys who are rude." She jabbed Iruka in the ribs. Iruka feigned mortal injury and fell to the ground. She ignored him.

Genma noted that she had bright green eyes to go with her auburn hair. She was also dressed fairly conservatively--sandals, leggings, short skirt, T-shirt--in complementing shades of leafy green. She had the usual weapons pouch at her right hip, and a shuriken holster on her right thigh. Her hitai-ate was just barely holding her short, curly red hair away from her face.

"Very good. Next, prankster."

Iruka jumped to his feet, waving his hands in protest. "I told you, I'm Iruka! And I'm a good ninja! I like pranking people and I don't like serious people. And I'm a super-good ninja already, only I can't use any of my super-good jutsu 'cause the Hokage says not to." Iruka sat back down on the grass.

Genma blinked. The papers had not mentioned restrictions on Iruka, and certainly none the level of the Hokage's influence. Iruka was brown-skinned, not tanned, and the distinct, high-cheek-boned cast of his face was not similar to Konoha's general trend of facial features. Iruka's eyes glinted dark, dark, dark blue in the sunlight, but the colour was not what made Genma give him a stern stare. It was the look that suddenly matched his grin, a glint of something predatory, bloody and not quite sane. Genma knew ANBU with that look. He had never seen it on a child. Then it was gone: just a flicker, and it was back to a mischievous smile.

Iruka's eyes were blue, he had a wicked scar from cheek to cheek, his nose was a little dented under the scar, and he had a ready smile. His shorts and T-shirt were scruffy, but he was an orphan living on his own. He had a shuriken holster strapped to his right thigh, and a weapons pouch on either hip. His brown hair was pulled sharply back into a bristly ponytail, and his hitai-ate was tied properly across his forehead.

Genma gave him one last look before turning to the quiet little Hayate. "And you."

"I'm Hayate. I like bees. I know kenjutsu. And I don't like wasps." Hayate smiled a very little smile.

"Kenjutsu, eh? You'll have to show me." Genma looked the boy over. Hayate wore sandals, jeans with the knees going out, and a black T-shirt. The boy's eyes were a dark brown, and his hair was black. It curled around his hitai-ate and into his face. He wore no weapons pouch on his hip, but he did have a shuriken holster on his left thigh. Hayate was rather unremarkable, polite and quiet. Genma would have to keep an eye on him. It was always the quiet ones that did you in.

"Well, now I know about you." Genma grinned around his senbon. The poison on it tasted faintly of cinnamon-spice and blood mingled. "Meet me tomorrow at training ground three, at ten o' clock sharp. I'll test your abilities, so bring plenty of kunai. Dismissed."

Hayate and Ayame bowed to him as they said their farewells. They left quietly. Iruka just stood there, frowning. Genma frowned back. They stared for several minutes. Iruka broke the stare first, grinning mischievously.

"Come on. You can come with me. I've got to ask some questions about you, and my dad always said it was rude to talk about people when they weren't there." Iruka nodded. "Unless they were dead. But you're not. So come on."

"I can come with you?" Genma echoed back. "Brat, you need to learn some manners."

"Well, I figure they'll let you in if you're with me," Iruka chirped. "Because most people can't just get in to see the Hokage."

"Nani? They let you in to see the Hokage?"

"Why not?" Iruka asked, as though puzzled. "Hurry up, broken Jounin."

And with that, Iruka turned and marched off, folding his hands behind his head.

Genma followed Iruka up the stairs to the Hokage's tower office with growing amazement. Iruka passed each level of security with no more than a casual wave to the guards. A few greetings were tossed back and forth. It was obvious that Iruka was a well-known visitor here. He was only stopped by the two ANBU standing guard at the Hokage's very door.

"Umino Iruka, here to see Sandaime-sama," Iruka chirped. "Is he in? Or is he at a meeting?"

One of the ANBU tilted his head to the side. "He's in, Umino-kun. But who's that with you?"

"He's Genma-sensei. We're here to talk about my restrictions and special training." Iruka smiled.

The ANBU nodded, and opened the door to let them in.

Bewildered, Genma hobbled after the little brown-haired brat, who was waltzing into the Hokage's office like he owned it. "Sandaime-sama! You gave us a broken Jounin!" Iruka declared. "Oh, good afternoon, too."

The Hokage set down his papers and smiled fondly at Iruka. "Ah. Good afternoon, Iruka, Genma. You have a complaint, Iruka?"

"You gave us a broken Jounin. Why?"

"He's upright and functional," the Hokage said, mildly. "Team Eight's Jounin is still in traction for another week. Be glad Genma's walking, not concussed, and perfectly capable of keeping an eye on you, little rascal."

"Oh." Iruka turned to stare at Genma, then back to the Hokage. "So, we better treat him nice so he don't break again, huh?"

The Hokage chuckled. "If you do, you won't get another."

With a gusty sigh, Iruka turned back to Genma. "Guess I'm stuck with you. Okay. Um, Sandaime-sama, what about my special training?"

"I will inform Genma about your special training. No worries, Iruka." The Hokage nodded to Genma. "Now, do you want to stay for the debriefing, or should you be getting on?"

Iruka hopped from one foot to the other. "Sorry, I've got to go train. Thanks!" And with that, the boy trotted out.

Genma stared after him, and turned back to the Hokage, who smiled. "Please, Genma, have a seat. This might take a while." The Hokage leaned over, rifled through a drawer, and resurfaced at his desk with a thick folder. "Iruka, you see, is quite special."

Genma hobbled over to the chair in front of the Hokage's desk, and awkwardly sat. "So I see. Why?"

"Here." The Hokage withdrew a sheaf of papers from the file and handed it to Genma.

Genma took the papers, and ran a quick eye over them. His mouth dropped open and his senbon clattered into his lap. "What? Kirigakure ninja? But we don't allow immigrants! Do we?" He looked up at the Hokage, puzzled and entirely forgetting his senbon.

"This was a special case. While turning away able-bodied ninja is standard procedure, they were not stopped at the border. The mother went into labor, and so the Chuunin on patrol let them stay at a guard post. Not being Konoha, however, the travelers caught a mild strain of a common virus, and all three--father, mother and newborn--were bundled off to the hospital in Konoha. The woman put up such a fuss that there was really no other way but to allow them to settle here."

The Hokage relit his pipe, which had gone out during his narrative. He puffed on it. "Iruka is allowed to learn the Kiriga jutsu his parents left to him. However, he is not allowed to use it in battle or in training with his team-mates. Of course, there is the possibility that he may one day desert us for Kirigakure. It is unlikely, but still there. If he ever shows sign of deserting, I must ask you to kill him."

"What?" Genma asked feebly, still scanning through the papers. "You...why...well, I suppose that makes sense, but..."

"It does. While he is only twelve, he has been trained in Konoha. He knows many of our secrets." The Hokage sighed. "That boy is a rare thing, you know. He actively knows two separate styles of fighting and using ninjutsu, and he is able to keep them from mixing. If I ever let him do that, he could become a very powerful shinobi."

Genma looked up at the Hokage. "Do you think he would desert?"

"Personally, I doubt it." The Hokage puffed on his pipe. "But there remains a chance. And I must ask you to be prepared for that situation should it occur. You were the best choice for this team as a mentor. Especially given your abilities."

Genma swallowed, and tasted again the cinnamon-spice-blood-taste of the poison that lingered in his mouth. He retrieved his senbon from his lap and replaced it between his teeth. "I see." He looked down at the file. "And his parents...?"

"Why don't you ask Iruka? He'll be pleased to tell you."

Genma took in the Hokage's smile and nodded. "One last question...how is he able to just come up here?"

That smile widened, softened, and the Hokage chuckled. "Suffice it to say that I keep an eye on him. He needs it."

"I understand." Genma smiled a little himself. "Thank you, sir. May I...?"

"Certainly." The Hokage handed over the file, saying as he did, "Please keep this carefully. I don't need to tell you this is delicate information."

Genma nodded and wondered what clearance was needed to see this folder. Probably higher than his level of clearance was usually. Genma shifted around to stash the folder into his tattered back-pack. He also downed a dose of his pills, after looking at the clock set on the corner of the Hokage's desk. He looked up again. The Hokage waved a hand at him, already bent again over the papers on the desk. Genma nodded, gathered himself up, and limped out. He had a lot to think about now.

A/N: The plot thickens. That was a long chapter, sorry.

Genma now has himself a Genin team! I must thank the people at the RPG Fallen Leaves, especially Nezu, who RPs a fantastic Shiranui Genma, and very much inspired me to use this little-known character. Thanks!

And please, go read Samurai101's fic "Burning Deadfall." It's worth it!

Tokubetsu Jounin Special Jounin, a sub-class of the rank, usually a shinobi who has Jounin-level skills in a specific area

Hai Yes

Wakatta I understand, it's clear

Sumanisen I'm sorry, a polite apology

Daijoubu It's fine, I'm fine

-sensei An honorific meaning teacher or superior

Sou da na So? or Is it so?

Gomen A common apology

Nani What

-kun An honorific used most often with boys, or from superior to inferior

Kirigakure Village Hidden in the Mist (I have shortened this to Kiriga for typing purposes.)