So, I did find the courage to watch and it was less horrible then I had in mind (and you really don't want to go there). But perhaps that's the sugar rush talking because I had prepared an amount of comfort food that would put Kensi to shame :)

Anyway, thanks for the reviews, the following and the favourites.
This is part two and I truly hope you'll like it !


She's running and there is a moment of total craziness about. It's realizing she's been doing this for the last 15 years of her life. She has spend those years running and most of the time running from something. But now she's running towards something and even her feet doesn't seem to be able to catch up. She's not focusing on anything, on possible targets lurking inside corners or hidden rooms. She only has eyes for one thing or one person. She even runs past Sam without offering him a second glance. She does register Callen stopping by his partner, but she doesn't stop, doesn't acknowledge him because she can see the one she's after.

He's slumped in the chair, his head hanging down. Sitting still, but she can see the soft movement of his chest as he breaths. And despite the situation, the despite the utter despair she felt and still feels if she sees his condition she can't help but smile. He's still with her, he's still alive and that's all she needs for the moment, to know he's there. The rest they'll deal with later.

He seems to sense someone around him as she moves to untie him. For an instance she can see he expected, feared it to be someone else, but as realization sets in a little smiles comes through and she smiles back. Especially when he uses his favorite nickname for her. Fern, how much she hated that name and the fact he had come up with it. But now she doesn't care, he can call her that every moment of the day if it means he's alive.

She startles awake and it takes a few moments to realize where she is and what is happening. Another thunderstorm, another moment she's sitting next to a silent Deeks. But now it's a different silence. He's been out of it since the moment she got him out and into an ambulance. He's been under since they arrived here and the doctors took care of him. She tries to look past the injuries, not wanting to know what caused them, what he needed to endure. But she has seen the equipment and beside that seen enough of the world to know what happened.

She forces herself to be calm by telling her he's there, he's still breathing while others have found themselves on the wrong side of a gun. He didn't cave, despite what they did to them, what the rest of the world did to him and he didn't cave. It makes her incredibly proud of him. They figured he was the weakest one, while she knows better, the entire team knows better. Well except for Sam, but she's sure even the ex Seal has come to his side.

He stirs a little and she leans closer to the bed, to make sure he can see her if he should wake up. She doesn't care how long she needs to sit here, she's going to stick to her partner, planning to never leave him out of her sight.

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It's been two weeks since he's been admitted to hospital and nothing had been said between the two partners. Well that's actually a lie, a lot had been said but not about the subject he wants to talk about and she seems to ignore as much as possible. And while his heart screams to say something, to somehow brings the conversation to that point he doesn't. He knows her too well to press the matter, he wants her around, so he does what he's been doing for 3 years now. He shuts up about his emotions and let her have her way.

She's aware of his silence and she's also aware of the cause of this prolonged silence. She knows what he wants to talk about, wants to discuss and knowing him wants to repeat. But she can't. It sounds pathetic and it probably is, but she feels far more vulnerable if she were to acknowledge what happened, if she talked about it.

It's stupid and she wants to be able to change it, wants to be able to talk about her feelings, about her emotions without feeling trapped like a deer in the headlights. But everything she's been through, everything she had to survive is coming down on her and makes her unable to move. She knows the longer this continues, the more she's hurting him. Far more then what he had to go through days ago but she can't. She can be badass and though when needed to, but emotions and feelings scare the shit out of her.

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He's going home today. When the doctors informed them he would be able to go home in a few days she had been preparing like mad. He is gonna stay with her for awhile, until he got fully back on his feet and being able to really take care of himself. She knows it's going to be a battle, that it is a contradiction to what's she feeling and refusing to talk about, but she'll not leave her partner alone to deal with this. He's coming home with her, and that's the end of it.

'You'll be coming home with me' she says as she fiddles with the wheelchair and waits for him to finally get in the damn chair.

' Excuse me?' he asks.

'Deeks, you'll need some help to get around, so you're going to come home with me.' The tone she uses is like she's talking to a four year old and it does nothing to ease the anger that has been growing inside of him. He's respecting her wishes, at least tries to but it's getting harder and harder everyday and he's feeling like he'll explode one of these days.

'On one condition.' He says, hoping she doesn't catch his tone just yet.

'Yeah?'

'We don't pretend nothing happened.'

It gets the suspected reaction as her head snaps upwards and she stares at her. He knows he's putting her on the spot and hates himself for it. But he can't take it anymore, the looks, the tone she uses with him. It drives him crazy and he has this sudden need to know.
He needs to know what he means to her, what her plans for the future are and if he can play a role in them.

He knows he cannot make her love him, can't force her into sharing his feelings. But at least he'll know, he'll know if it's worth to keep investing in this relationship. He knows that a negative answer will shatter his world, but he has to risk it just so he knows where he stands. He also knows that a negative answer will see him writing some letters and then disappear. It will be hard, probably the hardest thing he'll ever have to do, but he'll survive it. He's done it before, left everything behind and started a new life. He knows what to do and how to do. Doing so will reinforce her believe that everyone leaves her in the end and while he wants nothing more than to cure her of that, he also needs to think about himself, about what he wants and needs.

Her first though is anger, how dare he put her on the spot like this. She's suddenly extremely aware of her surroundings and counts her blessing they are alone.

Her first idea of a reaction is to say no, it's to shut him out hard and let him deal with it alone. Yet she dismisses that pretty much straight away. She won't see him anymore if she does that, he'll leave her to not return and it'll be on her. He'll leave her and it will be because he's left no other choice and she's not sure she'll be able to forgive herself.

And somehow she knows he won't leave if she does say yes. He won't leave her because that not his character. Unless she makes him, he'll stay. Hell the guy has been tortured and he still returned to her in one piece, keeping his promise to her. It had been close but he was alive when she got to him and he's on his way back to normal now, back to being her annoying partner.

She's not sure about a lot, but she is about her feelings towards him. In the past days, the more she wants to black it out, refuses to talk about, the more it lodges inside her brain. She's in love with her partner. Truly, madly, deeply, the whole 'let's write a cheesy ballad' kind of a in love. And perhaps he needs to knows, perhaps she needs him to lead her on this way and see where they'll end up. Somehow she's sure it's to happiness and happily ever after. And she wants that, needs that, craves that. And so perhaps she needs to take that step and bite the bullet.

So she looks up, right into his eyes and opens her mouth


For the record, I hate cliffhangers and 'to be continued ...'

Don't mind leaving you hanging though :)

Anway, won't make you wait almost 4 months. Like I said, final chapter coming up and already written. So you'll know what to do :)