"You're doing what, Elise?" Sena looks at me like I've just suggested the stupidest idea in the world, and I begin to second-guess my decision to tell her about my plans.

Still, it's only fair for her to know that a strange man is going to be staying at my place for a couple days, maybe a week. It's her house after all, and even though we're friends, she's my legal landlord.

I sigh.

"I know it sounds crazy after the way he showed up yesterday. But he really just needs a place to stay for a little while, and I could never forgive myself if I let him go."

I didn't mention the injury to her; best not to rouse her suspicions.

She stares at me critically for a while, then crosses her arms, turning away.

"Let me guess, this is Shield-related." Her tone is somewhere between resignation and fatigue, and it reminds me of the way my mother used to deal with my minor rebellions.

I haven't told Sena anything about my time at Shield. I thought the less anyone knew, the better. It's too complicated to explain to anyone, anyway. What am I supposed to say? Oh, Hydra kidnapped captain America 's best friend, kept him frozen for half a decade, wiped his memory and used him as an assassin all while staying under Shield's radar.

Hell, maybe they'd believe me. Stranger things have happened since the sky split open and dropped thousands of aliens on New York City.

But anyway, Bucky's secret isn't mine to tell.

"Yeah, let's just say he's a good guy and we were both stuck in the same mess. He helped me out back then, so I owe him a favour." I opt for a less complicated explanation.

"Are you sure he's safe? He looks a little... Unstable." Sena rubs her temples.

Okay, so he did look a tiny bit feral in his unshaved, long-haired state, and seeing his face contorted in stifled pain probably only magnified the wild killer look.

I make a mental note to suggest he cleans himself up a bit before he leaves on his own again.

"He just hasn't had time to shave or get a haircut in a while. For some more than others, it was hard to cope with the fall of shield." I explain, and Sena mulls over my answer. She finally seems convinced.

"Alright, Elise. I'm sure you know this guy better than I do." She shrugs, returning to the painting she was working on.

Ha, know him better than you? Barely.

"Thanks, Sena." I've got one foot in the hall when she calls my name.

"If you feel like you're in trouble, or if you ever want advice, you can talk to me." She adjusts her glasses, leaving a blue smudge on the bridge of her nose.

"I appreciate it." I smile, "And you've got paint on your face."

With that matter settled, I take my leave and head back to my apartment. I left about half an hour ago to see Sena, and I haven't seen Bucky yet this morning. He has use of my guest room/office space, so I assume he slept in.

As I'm locking the door behind me, I hear the distinctive sound of something shattering.

My breath catches for a moment, and I hear her words echo in my mind. Is he safe?

Maybe… maybe Sena was right. Maybe I made that decision too rashly, maybe I should have waited before promising that he could stay here. I was so overwhelmed, seeing him wounded like that… the decision seemed like a no-brainer at the time.

It's hard to ignore the ghosts of the past as they repeat all the warnings I ignored during my time at shield. Warnings about the nature of the project, about Rumlow…

I step cautiously into the kitchen doorway and the source of the sound becomes clear.

He freezes at the sound of my arrival, his blue eyes flickering up to meet mine, his figure crouching beside the pieces of a shattered dish. Much to my relief, I see that he's taken the initiative to cut his hair and shave—just a slight 5 o'clock shadow remains.

"Sorry, I… I thought I'd wash the dishes for you." A slight mixture of shame and embarrassment colours his face as he gathers the sharp fragments.

"Nah, don't worry about it. All my plates are cheap anyway." I pick up the trash can beside the door and cross the floor to help him gather the pieces. I'm so pleased that he wanted to do something for me that it momentarily washes away my concerns about safety. Elise, you're an idiot. A trusting, naïve idiot.

"You should be resting. You shouldn't move around too much until your cut heals a bit." I steal a glance at his face, but the neutral expression has returned, and I can't read him.

"I shouldn't stay here." He replies.

I frown, but I don't respond right away. Thanks to Sena I'd already had doubts, but hearing him say those words makes me question my decision even more. I didn't even think about his feelings. He's been a caged bird under Hydra for so long, I don't want to make him feel like he's my prisoner, even if I have far better intentions than Hydra.

I feel a slight sting in my right palm, and open my hand to reveal a fragment of the plate I'd been holding on to. Its jagged edge has left a slight cut, and blood is beginning to seep out along the line.

"I'll stay, if that's what you want." He adds. Maybe I looked troubled by his words, or maybe he regretted sounding ungrateful. I'm not sure what it was.

"I don't want to force you to stay." I shake my head, "I absolutely don't want that. You're free now. I'm just worried you'll run into someone like that and hurt yourself."

He frowns, his gaze flickering away.

"Free, huh?" He says the words softly, "It feels the same."

I wait for him to elaborate, but he doesn't, not right away. He seems kind of frozen in thought, and when I reach out to pick up a fragment near his hand, he suddenly startles, instinctively moving away.

"Sorry, I… I need to step out." He stands, heading for the backyard door.

I want to ask if he'll be back, but he's already gone by the time I open my mouth. An uneasy silence fills the house. I'm worried about his wound, but he hasn't taken his things with him, so he can't be going far at least.

I clean up the remainder of the broken plate and then tend to cut on my palm.

An hour passes, and then another. I don't know why I'm watching the clock so closely; he's not my son. He's a capable, grown man, and a skilled assassin at that. He can handle himself…Unless he opened his wound again and is lying in an alley somewhere, bleeding to death.

No, Elise. I don't need a new source of worry in my life, and he doesn't need a babysitter.

It takes a long time before I finally gather the courage to make the call.

"What, Elise is actually calling me? Are you ill? Or are you inviting me to your wedding?" Dr. Nikolav's cheerful voice is enough to put a smile on my face.

"What wedding? This is the first I'm hearing of it." I humour him with a joking reply. He gives a hearty laugh.

"Well, what's the special occasion then? And please tell me you're planning to drop by the lab sometime this century. I haven't seen you in a year! Not since… " He trails off, his voice taking on a sober tone.

"Yeah… Not since the downfall of Shield. Actually, this is kind of about that." I sigh, not knowing where to even begin the story.

"What happened? Are you alright?" He sounds alarmed, and I shake my head furiously for a moment before I remember that I'm on the phone and he can't see the action.

"I'm fine, I promise. Do you remember James Barnes, the assassin I introduced you to when you came to my house?" I bite my lip, wondering how he's going to react to this ridiculous story I'm about to tell.

"The Winter Soldier, right? What happened to him?"

"Well… he kinda showed up at my house with a stab wound. Apparently Hydra has been sending people after me, and he's been dealing with them. I didn't know until yesterday." I pause to let him absorb the revelation.

"Is he still working for Hydra?"

"I don't think so. I don't think he'd go back to an organization that kept him prisoner like that." I reply, but how would I know? I only assumed he didn't work for them anymore. He said he was keeping Hydra's people away. Is he still involved with them somehow?

Then there are those strange words… It feels the same, he said. How can freedom feel the same as being a mind-controlled weapon?

Unless he's still serving someone.

"Elise?"

I snap out of my spiral of thoughts.

"Sorry, Dr. Nikolav. I tuned out," I apologize, "I honestly don't know much. He's very distant. He's not even here right now, he stepped out a few hours ago even though I told him he shouldn't aggravate his wound."

Dr. Nikolav sighs on the other end of the line, and it's a tired, defeated sigh. All at once, I feel like it's not Bucky, but me who is being a burden. First Sena, then Dr. Nikolav… it feels like everyone is a disappointed, weary parent that I'm causing trouble for.

"Do you trust him?" There it is again, that damn word.

"I don't really trust anyone anymore, Dr. Nikolav." I reply honestly. To my surprise, he laughs.

"That's a good answer! Sounds like something from a Hollywood movie." I'm surprised he can joke about such a serious topic. Then again, it's Dr. Nikolav; I shouldn't be surprised.

"Really though, what did you think of him? I never asked you at the time." I frown, glancing at the clock again. Damn it, I really need to kill this habit.

"He was pretty easy to read, if you ask me. He was like an innocent kid, locked up in the body of an assassin. Very distant, but I think there's a good heart under the armour. Not like your ex-boyfriend… he was just scary." I can hear his smile through the phone, and the reference to Rumlow isn't lost on me. He's trying to help me get over him in his own humour-driven way.

"I think the boy just needs to be rehabilitated into society." He continues, "Is there a way you can get him out of the house? Why don't you bring him to visit the lab?"

"Are you sure you're okay with that? I mean, having an assassin just hanging about in your lab?" I joke. I don't even know if Bucky would be down for a random, recreational day trip. I don't think he considers me a friend, really. Just someone he owes a debt to.

"I have 2 grant proposals to write and I could use the distraction. And so could you, I think." He replies. Well, he's not wrong.

"I'll see what he says. No promises!" I warn, "Thanks, Dr. Nikolav."

"Always a pleasure, Elise! I look forward to your visit." He replies, then hangs up.

I glance at my phone and frown as I catch sight of the time again.

There won't be a visit if he doesn't come back.