Chapter 2

And so the couple was wed, though Elphaba couldn't remember looking at him at all during the ceremony or the brief reception afterwards. She had only mumbled response to the questions asked of her and given forced half-smiles when congratulated on her unwanted nuptials. The only people she knew there were Nanny, Nessa and her father.

As the music began to fade, Fiyero took her hand. "We're supposed to make our grand exit now."

"Are we supposed to do something special?"

"Just walk out hand-in-hand."

Elphaba nodded, her hand limp in his. "Let's give them their show, then." As the people around them turned and stared, she followed her new husband up the stairs and into the bedroom they would share.

He closed the door behind them and looked at her. It looked as though he wanted to comfort her, and she hoped he wouldn't. She didn't need his comfort.

The tension and the looks in his eyes began to become too much for her and she simply began to undress.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"What do you think?" She replied evenly.

"Right, of course." He began to undress as well.

She stole a glance, simply wondering if the diamonds continued down the rest of his body. They did. Elphaba's hands itched to touch them and she shook her head.

"We can wait a few minutes, if you want." He said gently.

Elphaba pulled the blankets on the bed back and laid down, trying not to shudder thinking about the pain that was to come. She steeled herself, refusing to voice her doubts. "I'm tired. I just want to sleep as soon as I can."

He joined her and began to kiss her mouth, teasing at her lips with his tongue, asking her to open her mouth to him. It surprised her how natural it felt to open for him. She felt one of his hands begin to caress her breast.

"What are you doing?" She pulled away.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, shouldn't we just get this over with?"

He looked at her like she was deranged. "I've been made to understand that this will be easier if your body is, um, ready."

She wanted to tell him she didn't care. Let the pain come. It didn't matter, did it? But she remembered that she wasn't supposed to refuse him, so she simply closed her eyes. His hands were warm and tender and her body seemed to be responsive to him. His kisses were intense and made it hard for her to remember she was trying to disappear inside herself.

When his hands slid between her legs, she almost shot out of the bed. He must've felt her twitch beneath him. "I'm sorry. Did I hurt you?"

Eyes wide, she shook her head. "No. I just… no, you're fine." His hands were doing things to her she didn't understand and she was losing her words as she felt her flesh heat beneath his touch.

"I'm going to be as gentle as I can," he told her a few minutes later.

She didn't look at him, still confused by what her body was going through. "Whatever you want," she replied. Elphaba closed her eyes and clenched her teeth, preparing herself. When he pushed inside her, she squealed a little, but the pain was quick to fade.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I'm so sorry. I don't want to hurt you."

"You're supposed to," she said. And she was silent from then on.

Hours later, she lay facing away from him, unable to sleep. Another presence in her bed was strange to her and her thoughts kept intruding just when she felt peaceful again. She thought of the blood on the sheets, the sheets that had been torn from the bed when they had finished and replaced with new, clean ones. He'd looked so guilty when he'd seen that spot.

And somehow thinking of him warmed her body again and she began to feel uneasy. She had actually liked the lovemaking. When she had adjusted to the intrusion, it started to feel good and she'd buried her face in his chest clutching him close, unable to handle the emotions and the sensations flowing through her. He had to have noticed when she'd thrown her head back towards the end and she felt embarrassed.

The blankets shifted beside her and she was surprised to find that he, too, was still awake. "You're not sleeping, are you?"

"No."

"Are you still hurt?"

"I'm fine," she said shortly.

"I really didn't want to hurt you," he said again. "I wanted to ask how you were feeling, but I thought that wouldn't be proper and I felt silly. I'm so sorry."

His concern for her was touching and she turned to him. "I would have told you that I was fine. You're aware it's supposed to hurt a woman the first time?"

"I know, but I'm also aware that the pain varies depending on certain… behaviors. That's what I was trying to do."

"I was prepared for the pain, Fiyero. Thank you for your consideration."

"Did it feel okay?"

Elphaba didn't want to be having this conversation. "I'm fine. It was fine. Please, I am tired."

"Elphaba, we should at least try to be friends."

She found herself laughing. "Friends? Are you serious? You can't do what just happened in this bed and be friends. I'm your wife, not your friend." She realized she wasn't laughing anymore and a tear burned down her cheek. "Oh, I can't do this." She wiped at her face.

"Don't…" He pulled her against him and she didn't have the strength to fight him. "I'm sorry." Fiyero sounded completely bewildered. She couldn't blame him. His hands brushed through her hair. "I don't understand. How are we supposed to care for one another if we aren't friends?"

"This is backwards." She pulled herself up and away from him gently. "This whole marriage is backwards. Don't you understand that? People don't do this. They learn to love each other and then they get married. Our parents just didn't bother with that part."

"I know. I'm just trying to make the best of this." His voice was soft. "I'm sorry it had to be this way, Elphaba."

"It's not your fault." She had heard the guilt in his voice and she didn't like it. At least he wasn't a terrible person, right? He was polite, a little naive, but kind. It was almost endearing on him, too.

"But I'm still sorry." He took her hand.

She squeezed his hand back. "Don't be."

"I just, I want us to be close. I want this marriage to work."

"I understand that, Fiyero. I don't think I'd mind it, but I don't know how." Why was she telling him these things? Marriage had already had more of an effect on her than she had thought it would.

"I'd really like to try, though."

"You are foolish," she told him.

He looked hurt and asked, "May I kiss you again?"

"You didn't ask before, why are you asking now?"

"You needed me to, before."

Her face flushed. He just meant that she'd wanted him to get it over with, right? "You don't need to feel obligated to do this, Fiyero."

"It's just a kiss. And I'd like to."

"If you really want to," she said quietly.

"I do." He kissed her gently. "Elphaba, I'm sorry. I know this is strange, but maybe we can figure this out. At least let me try to be good to you."

She nodded. "I can try."