Where Are You Love?
Why can't I find you?
by: SamiJane
Disclaimer: Please see Author's bio
Summary: After the Leyton wedding, Brooke Davis and Julian Baker try to figure out what's next in their own lives.
Note to new readers: I started writing this before episode 611, so anything after 610 in OTH world doesn't apply to my story.
A/N: Thank you toddntan, BRUCAS EQUALS LOVE, TeamSophia, Crimson-Kiss17, Maroonieee, and cRiMsOnGoDdEsS01 for your reviews! I know most of you are Brucas fans - I am too - but I have a feeling you may not like the end of this chapter, just a warning. But you'll understand why I had to write it the way that I did. Keep an open mind :)
Also, two more characters appear in this chapter. I had a lot of fun with one in particular. The other character is one I made up. Her name is Sienna and is a friend of Julian and Peyton's from LA. Her time in my story is short for now, but if I decide to bring her back, I'll create a complete background for her.
Read away and enjoy!
Chapter 2: Let Go and Fly Already
Brooke's POV; the reception
I continue to tap my fingers on the mahogany bar in a rhythmic motion. My other hand brings the welcoming chills of a mojito to my lips. I have yet to decide whether or not I should track down Producer Boy, but I figure I should try to enjoy the wedding celebration before I worry about anything else.
Above the rim of my glass, I notice the newlyweds, glistening like a new pair of Jimmy Choos in a display window…ok, so they're hotter than shoes, but glistening stilettos are cooler than glistening chandeliers. A tiny smile creeps up on my face as I notice the joy exuding from my best friend's face. And my heart then sighs at a love long lost. I listen to my heart and begin to down the mojito like a marathon runner craving water.
An arrogant laughter echoes from the other end of the bar. My attention spikes at a voice that hasn't rung in my ears since I was gallivanting around Hollywood two years ago. And once I heard said voice, I bolted out of the VIP lounge, confusing all my friends. That reminds me, I need to call Natalie back.
"Well, well," I hear him exclaim.
"Oh dear god," I mutter with a roll of my eyes and turn to face the not so welcomed acquaintance. Unfortunately for me, Sam, Jamie, and Lily are blocking my escape path with their cute rendition of a three person waltz. If it wasn't for the blue eyed faux-gentleman approaching me, I would laugh at the sight.
"If it isn't the hottest slice of cheerleader pie that I've ever had," he haughtily chimes as I glare at him and set my glass down on the bar.
"And if it isn't the most disgusting slice of pie ever," I respond with sarcastic excitement. We both eye each other up and down, realizing our physical appearances haven't changed that much. I notice his hair is still as big and inflated as his ego. Ugh, I can't believe I know what this guy looks like naked. I can't believe I remember what he looks like naked.
"Stop lying to yourself. You know you still want another slice of Keller," he leans his elbows and back on the bar in a suave, James Dean like manner. To strangers and fans, Chris Keller can pass for a modern day 'Rebel Without a Cause.' But I am not a stranger and I definitely am not a fan.
"As much as I would like a puss infected sore to surface on my face," I counter, my sarcastic smile still in place. I lean on the bar next to him, trying to eye what he's staring at. I ask him what the hell he's doing here since last I recall, nobody around this part of North Carolina has shown an inkling of friendliness to the guy.
"Just came to pass on some Congrats to Goldilocks," he replies nonchalantly. Without looking at me, I'm sure he can sense my eyebrow cocking in curiosity and shock. But before I can utter a "How the hell" type question, Peyton runs towards us with a gleam in her eye.
"Keller! What the hell, man?" she exclaims with glee. She fails to notice the baffled expression on my face.
"The hell yourself, Goldie," he responds just as enthusiastically and pulls her in for a friendly hug.
As the two exchange 'How are you's' and whatnot, my face starts to hurt with the constant change of shock expressions it goes through. I finally get the two long lost friends' attention when I physically pull Peyton away from the fourth "What the hell?" moment of the day.
Along with when and where their sudden camaraderie occurred, I also ask why she didn't bother to tell her best friend when she became "buddy buddy" with the egotistical musician standing next to us. She says that at the time, she came to the conclusion that ultimately, she didn't think it mattered. After all, Chris never mattered to anyone back in high school, why did it matter later on?
"Hey, Chris Keller always matters," Chris defends him self. I ignor the third person reference and push Peyton for answers.
Apparently, Chris signed with Peyton's LA label a few months after Lucas' first disaster of a proposal, and the two hung out a few times at the studio whenever he would record. And hanging out time increased even more so after Peyton and Julian became an item. The thought of passing on this information never crossed her mind, despite our life long friendship.
"Besides," she continues to explain, "It's not like you were sharing a lot of life info either. You were busy with school, your brand, Victoria and - "
"And you were still friends with Lucas," Chris interrupts.
"You, hush," I exclaim with a pointed finger. It is weird enough seeing the two exchange pleasantries with each other, I don't need to watch as they finish each others' sentences.
"Stay." I warn as I slowly pull Peyton away from the pestering gnat that is Chris Keller. "Oh god; he's exactly like a dog. Except with bigger hair," I state when I had pull us far enough away. The guy is actually frozen still, waiting for his next command. But, like any other pre-neutered dog, a pretty girl catches his attention and he disobeys his master.
"Aww come on, he's harmless," Peyton claims with an air of confidence that the guy is indeed just an old friend from yore, "It's just Chris Keller, Brooke." If she wasn't the bride, I would have tried to literally slap some sense into her head. Isn't she the one that was completely against anything Chris Keller back in high school?
"Exactly, Peyton. It's Chris Keller. Obnoxious pig, Chris Keller. The tabloids' favorite bad boy Chris Keller. The initiator of the first Naley earthquake, Chris Keller. The almost deal breaker between me and - " I pause my rambling and shake my head. I don't need to bring up that ugly past on her wedding day. "Ugh, you get my point," I sigh.
"Look, I know he was an ass back then - " Peyton starts in his defense.
"More like major self absorbed jack-ass-hole," I interrupt with crossed arms.
"He's changed over the years," she claims as I respond with a disbelieving face. "Ok, maybe not totally changed, but he's matured like the rest of us," she tries again.
This time I turn her around so that she can watch his pathetic attempts at throwing peanuts into his mouth. He looks like a dog unable to catch his kibble. "Well, sort of," Peyton sighs, still trying to get me to see that Chris Keller has indeed transformed into someone worth hanging out with.
"In case you've forgotten, Peyton, I was in the Hollywood world, too. And from my peripheral vision, the guy still acts like an ass," I try to get her to see my point of view. I mean, I don't think he is a bad guy…he has his moments…he is just…well…ugh he's Chris Keller; how much more of an explanation does someone need?
"You've only hung out with party Chris, and pathetic prom Chris, not studio or homebody Chris," Peyton stats as I continue to observe Chris over her shoulder. The dude is now recovering from dejection and a slap from Millicent. I knew I picked a great assistant.
I force myself to listen to Peyton's reasoning when Chris catches my eye and attempts to exude a Joey Tribiani 'How ya doin?' look. I stifle in laughter when he misses the bar with his elbow and he falls, ass smack down onto the hardwood floor. God, this was too good.
Peyton is silent now, awaiting my decision of whether or not the musician deserves an ounce of friendship from me or the rest of us. "Brooke?" she asks, wondering where my mind has gone. With a heavy sigh, I decide to make her happy. If Peyton doesn't think Chris is so bad anymore, then maybe he isn't.
"You better warn Naley and Lucas before they spot him and kick his ass to the curb. Which is what he deserves, by the way," I say as she hugs me tighter than when I finished her wedding dress.
"Thanks Brooke. I promise he won't do anything. Now go have fun. This is a wedding party, in case you've forgotten," with another hug Peyton runs off to find her husband and in laws.
How can I forget this is a wedding party? I am the maid of honor, dress designer, and co-wedding planner; it's hard not to forget. Besides, I deemed Lucas my first love back in senior year; I have a right to be sentimentally upset. Maybe if I was in love with someone else, I wouldn't be downing drinks over a relationship that ended years ago. Ya ever think of that, Peyton? Ugh.
Geez, stop it, Brooke. Your best friend married your other best friend. You should be happy for them….backspace and delete that…You are happy for them.
Julian's POV; Airport bar
"You're happy for her. You're happy for her," I repeat the phrase in my head like a scratched, broken record. Damn, it's been over a year already; why is this day hurting more than it's supposed to? Brooke is right; I read that stupid ass book. Being the third person in a Lucas – Peyton love triangle does not end well. I knew that.
It didn't hurt so much when I saw them together for the first time. Hell, I didn't even really care that much. But throw on a tux and white gown on them and you might as well pull an Indiana Jones and have Mola Ram pull my heart out of my chest. Man, where the hell is my plane?
"Baker comma Julian," I suddenly hear from behind me. Sienna? No effin way. It can't be Sienna; she is on a European tour. Isn't she? I spin around and I feel my mouth spread into a wide grin when I notice a familiar smirk and playful deep brown eyes staring back at me.
"What are you doing here, Enns?" I ask as I get up to hug my brunette friend from LA. Talk about a stupid question I instantly think.
"If I told you, you'd probably take another swig of that drink," she confirms my thought – she's here for the all important Sawyer-Scott nuptials.
"You're a little late. The momentous occasion ended an hour ago," I inform her as I indeed take another swig of scotch.
"Yeah, I know. I got held up at customs for a few hours," she shrugs, "But, hey, it's the effort that counts, right? Plus, I got her an awesome gift." She grins widely as she pulls out an ostentatiously decorated package from her duffel.
I merely laugh and roll my eyes at her carefree attitude at missing her friend's wedding. A native Cali girl, I have never known Enna to get stressed about anything. Well, maybe once, over a guy. But she's a girl; guy stress is expected.
"I guess I don't have to ask what you're doing here," she motions around us. It's at this instant that I first notice how pathetic I must look drinking by myself at a bar in the middle of a North Carolina airport, sans luggage. She interprets my silence as a 'Yes, don't ask,' answer. But in typical Sienna fashion, she doesn't let the topic go until it's resolved.
"Not to spill alcohol over an open wound, but didn't you leave her?" she reminds me of my crossroad decision that left Peyton heart broken. So heartbroken that after a few months she ventured back to her hometown in hopes of rekindling a high school love.
I sigh and restrain myself from taking another gulp of alcohol. "Yes, I left her; what's your point, Sienna?"
"Just trying to get to the part that leaves you sitting alone at an airport bar," she says with a defensive tone. I guess I should tone down the anger.
"Peyton got married, Enns," I sigh. What more was there to it? "My first love got married to her first love. I think I deserve to feel a little shitty today," it is my turn to be defensive. With a scoff, she shocks me by punching my forearm. "Ow."
"God, will you stop being a girl, already," she complains. Talk about blunt.
"Thanks for the support, Enns," I reply with sarcastic monotone as I take another sip of my Scotch.
"Someone has to set you straight," she insists. She continues to watch me, wondering if I'm ignoring what she's saying. Fortunately for her, I'm not. I ask if she thinks she'll succeed in "setting me straight."
"Baker, you are in the middle of Scott kingdom; producing a movie about the Lucas and Peyton epic romance. What did you think was going to happen?" she asks and steals my beloved drink away from me in the process.
"I was going to make a riveting and dramatic movie about a quaint, but crazy southern town, with a focus on a family more twisted than the psychos on soap operas. And six months later, I go back to LA," I reply.
I look at her; she doesn't believe me. I review my answer in my head. Man, even though it is the honest to goodness truth, I don't even believe me.
"Here's an idea," her tone is very therapist-like now, "Open up the machine to see what went wrong in the first place." Her words instantly transport me back to my first encounter with Peyton. Does Sienna know what she was saying? "And then after that, maybe you can figure out how to move on," she finishes.
"Those are my words," I tell her. Her lips form into a mischievous grin in response to my baffled face. Aww man, Peyton….I hope she didn't tell Enns every detail of our life together.
"Don't you love how things come full circle?" Enns devilishly answers me. "Now, no more small talk; I gotta jet," she stands up and throws her large duffel over her shoulder once again.
"You just got here," I point out even more confused than ever. She traveled for hours all this way just to try to knock some sense into me?
"I know, but technically I'm still on tour. It's not like I anticipated the ten hour delay I would go through. Do me a favor and give Peyton her gift for me, please?" she asks with a child like voice as she kisses my cheek goodbye.
I instantly begin shaking my head vigorously. "No, no, I am not going to - " I start out as she starts to canter happily away, like a mischievous fox. "Enns! No! Enns get back here!" I yell out to her. I don't care who stares, I am not her personal UPS guy. "Just mail it to her or - "
I give up. Damn it, Sienna.
I look back at the bar; the flamboyantly wrapped gift stares back at me. The way it's wrapped, it looks like the damn thing is snickering at me. As if to say, "Ha ha, now you have to go and see the long legged blonde. Sucks for you."
Sienna's repetition of my own words echo in my head, "Open up the machine to see what went wrong in the first place…"
What went wrong in the first place? I thought I knew – Lucas, Lucas and his Unkindness of Ravens. And before I came here to produce the movie, I thought I came to terms with leaving Peyton. I should have just done everything by phone; then I wouldn't have to deal with all this crap. How was I supposed to know that she wasn't in LA anymore? Dude, why didn't I just call first? Why did I come here?
And the answer comes to me like a horribly clichéd, lame, animated light bulb. Closure. My heart needs some damn form of resolution. I came here for effin closure.
Shit.
Brooke's POV; the reception
"So, you wanna know why I'm really here, cheerleader?" Chris' voice interrupts my thoughts for the second time tonight.
"I knew it! You have an ulterior motive; you little conniving - "
"I came to make sure Julian was ok," he utters. Ok, this is now officially the fifth "What the hell?" moment today.
My mind is so shocked by the statement; it forgets to tell my legs to keep standing. Either that or I had one too many glasses of champagne. I feel Chris' strong arms keep me balance and lead me to sit down at a nearby table. Wait; no, don't leave the bar. I like the bar.
After I manage to muster a "What?" from my mouth, Keller sighs, and I sense this is going to be like the tour bus in Honeygrove again. I mean, when the hell does Chris Keller ever open up about anything besides music? Yep, this is like Honeygrove; except this time, he isn't crying. Too bad; I wanted something to laugh at again.
Keller explains how he and Julian met in LA at some coffeehouse acoustic event. They talked about guitars and then about labels, particularly the one that told Julian that his guitar talent wasn't quite up to par. Julian introduced Chris to the label, and after a few weeks, Keller was signed. Later, Chris found out part of it was Peyton's doing. Chris found a girl he liked; Julian had a girl as well (Peyton) and things were good. And then Chris lost his girl and Julian left Peyton. Julian had stayed at Chris' place for a while after and the two are now best buds. Well, close to it. It is Chris Keller.
I remain silent for a few seconds as I ingest all the information. Talk about a small world. I am not quite sure how to respond to any of it.
What am I supposed to say? Wow, that's so cool that you guys are friends? And it's not like I could tell him where Julian is. He could be 50,000 feet in the air for all I know.
"You could just call him, you know," I suggest.
"Yeah…Chris Keller is still recovering from his own phone being thrown at his head by a disappointed groupie," Chris' fingers rub a spot on his forehead that is a tad bit bluer than skin is supposed to be.
I laugh for probably the first time tonight, "Nice to know not everybody has followed Peyton's footsteps onto the 'Chris Keller's not so bad' train."
"Give it a little time, and you'll be begging for a first class seat," Chris smirks. I guess "homebody" Chris has left the building. I don't snap back with something snarky; even though it would be my usual response. Instead, thinking of Julian, I get up from the table and lean into Chris' ear.
"He went to the airport; I think he's leaving for L.A," I tell him. I don't bother with any "I hope you find him" sort of sayings or goodbyes. I just leave. Partly because I know Keller is like an annoying cockroach; he sure will surface again. My hasty departure is mainly because I can not wait to spill this incredible cup – no gallon – of gossip to Haley.
Teacher mom, teacher mom, where are you? As soon as I spot her and Nathan on the dance floor with Jamie, Lily, Peyton and Lucas, I halt in my tracks. Do I want to go in and bust a move with the Scotts by myself? But of course that decision isn't made by me.
"You're family, too, you know," Chris whispers in my ear as he leaves the banquet hall.
Oh god, he has changed. And just as quickly he appeared, he's gone. I wonder if anybody noticed.
And now he eyes me from his little family circle. And with a twinkle in his eye, his gorgeous smile, and a nod of his head, Lucas Scott, the famous author, asks me to join them, using no words. I smile and shake my head. I can never say 'no' to that smile.
As I get closer to the Scott family dance circle, Lucas kisses Peyton's forehead and steps away from the group. We meet halfway just as the DJ decides to switch from fast paced to slow paced. The familiar chords of 'Boston' by Augustana reverberate around us, and for a moment it's just me and him. He holds out his hand, "I believe you still owe the groom a dance, Brooke Davis."
I laugh and accept his hand as he twirls me into the classic waltz position. As we dance slowly to familiar lyrics – "You don't know me and you don't wear my chains" – my mind can't help but flash back to Nathan and Haley's wedding five years ago. I wonder if he even remembers.
"Did you miss me while you were away?" he breaks our silence with a slight smile.
Startled by the question, I laugh nervously. "What are you talking about, Author Boy?"
"Nathan and Haley's wedding, we were alone on the dance floor," he attempts to remind me. I don't need a reminder. I know who he is quoting. It is the question I asked him all those years ago.
I start to wonder why he brought it up, on his wedding day even. And I realize what he means. I am the one that left him when I broke it off. He is asking if I missed all the times we shared together – and all the love and what ifs for our future. Because now, we definitely will never have it.
Well, Lucas, of course we'll never have it. You were the one that made me leave and you were the one that chose Peyton over and over again. Why are you asking me this question? You know what the answer is.
"So...did you miss me?" he asks me again, this time with playful banter in his deep tone.
"Everyday," I answer with a slight smile and rest my head on his shoulder. I will always miss what we could have had. My heart heaves a deep sigh and I remain quiet, not wanting to talk about anything anymore.
We dance silently for the remainder of the song, holding each other the same way we did five years ago. Unlike five years ago, it doesn't end with a passionate kiss. But like last time, it does end with a form of good bye.
"I love you, Brooke Davis," he grins. God, I wish I could know what he is thinking right now.
"I love you too, Lucas Scott," I smile back. I close my eyes when I feel his warm lips on my forehead. And I engrave this moment in my memory because it's the day I finally completely let go of Lucas Scott. Or at least, I hope I do…for everyone's sake.
A/N: And there it is. So, if you haven't figured out already, the purpose of this chapter was for a sense of closure for Brucas and Pulian. But just because Brooke and Julian are looking for complete closure doesn't mean there's no hope for Brucas or Pulian. I will say that Brulian has really grown on me since I even thought about writing this story. But I'm getting ahead of myself. I'm still torn on which way to go for the couples, so I guess you all will have to wait and see.
So, tell me what you think about the chapter or story in general. If you have any ideas don't be afraid to voice them; they always spark inspiration. :)
Oh and I can't wait for tonight's 1940s episode!!