Thanks Jakaynne, this chapter is dedicated to you. (You found the fastest way to my heart: complimenting my writing style) - Sam
Song of the Lark, I really appreciate you pointing out my tenses issue (it's always been a weak spot of mine). I went back and fix the prologue and promises to be stricter about editing it in the future. -Sam
I will be more mindful with the editing as well – Bananas
Disclaimer: We do not own Big Hero 6.
Who am I, Tetris?
Darkness… and beep.
Honestly, Tadashi prefers hell... Or is this hell? He wonders if he is doomed to this reality for the rest of eternity. He hazily ponders this thought before all his thoughts fade away.
It's a weird kind of state of consciousness Tadashi's in. He feels himself go in and out but he can't estimate how many times it's been. It's just happening. He just existing. The cycle keeps going until, eventually, it doesn't.
Still. Tadashi can't move.
But this kind of paralysis is different than before. He can somewhat feel things again but, unlike the smoldering heat of hell, it's more like a wrinkled sheet (200 thread count at most) on mostly the left side of his body. And he can also hear things now too. Of course there is that steady beeping, but also something that sounds like muffled voices?
What the hell is going on? Of course Tadashi first instinct is to open his eyes and yet, it's of no surprise when he can't.
Next, with all his might, Tadashi attempts to move his fingers, no luck. His toes, no luck. He even tries wiggling his tongue at one point which is a biggest mistake of his known life because now, he is all too aware of how dry his throat is. His tongue just sitting there like a freakin cactus in the middle of the Sahara. He is in desperate need water. Damnit this is uncomfortable! He thinks, now mentally screaming.
Eventually, after around ten minutes, he gives up on moving and put all attention on something useful, the voices. One voice, he assumes to be female, is talking fast, too fast to comprehend really. The other, he could barely make out because it's so low, he guesses male. He has the strange thought of whether or not if he could take them down… but why would I be in danger?
He thinks back to all he can remember. There was a possible fire, he was hurt, and now there's people talking and constant beeping… If he is hurt, someone must have taken him to the hospital. The beeping… my heart rate, Tadashi thinks in sudden realization, feeling a little stupid for not thinking of this earlier.
Tadashi analyzes the fact that he is attached to a Holter monitor, which are only used if someone is in a critical state of health. Ruling out the fire as nothing more than a figment of his imagination he thinks that maybe he had a heart attack and they needed to use a defibrillator, but that wouldn't explain why he can't move... He concludes that being in a coma is way more plausible.
Tadashi continues to self diagnose himself, if there was a fire, I may have received blunt force trauma to my head, I wonder where I was hit. Which hemisphere of the brain? Which lobe… I sure hope Broca's area is okay. But getting that kind of head fracture is highly unlikely if there wasn't a fire because only 11% of people get it that way… He needs more information.
He focuses back on the voices and listens harder. Within a twenty minute span, he is only able to pick up on the words 'life', something about numbers, 'boobies' or 'bodies' (he assumes the latter), and'G6'.
Eventually, he gives up. His thoughts drift back to medical diagnoses and then to physic before a voice more audible breaks through. Someone is now either in his room or at least very close.
"Honestly," she starts at a fast pace, "it is his money, the man may do as he pleases... Oh, not so good, I have groceries in the car, my parking spot always gets an unnecessary amount of sun and they are probably going to go bad because of yet another lost cause," She took a quick sharp intake of air, "and I left my keys at home, so I'm going to have to take the stairs to maintenances and-… We can not, that is against protocol but thanks for the offer. So that was my day, how was yours?.. You really thinks she cute, huh?" The woman snots out a laugh, " well alright Jeff, I will talk to you later... Okay, have a nice evening."
He hears her come closer and start walking around the room, humming to herself as she picks up things and puts them down. Tadashi decides to use this time to get to work.
She does this for about five minutes (shuffling around) before she places something down and gets closer, she clicks on what he assumes to be a flashlight and leans into Tadashi face before suddenly jumping back when she sees his eyes are wide open.
Tadashi watches her as she practically dives out of his field of vision and then slowly creeps back in. It's almost comical really.
The woman has long auburn hair and small tilted upward eyes that compliments her thick eyebrows. She looks at him in conflict as the pair of brown eyes meet once again. She raises the flashlight up again before deciding against it.
They stare at one another for a few moments before she says,"Hello."
He blinks in response.
Her eyebrows arch in sudden realization, "Of course you can not talk, my apologies… umm well, I am doctor Merit and I have been your primary physician for the past four months. You were hurt pretty bad and put into a coma. I assume you have just woken today and, with the massive amount of Oxycontin you are on, it is of no surprise you can not move." She leaves from his sight and he now looks up onto a dirty ceiling, the paper is ripping off and... is that blood? How on earth did it get all the way up-
"I am going to lower the dosage but do not thank me yet," she says as she fiddling around with something before peeking her head back into his peripheral, looking him up and down as she takes off her gloves. "You should be able to move by tomorrow and we will have much to discuss then so try and get some rest?" She leaves his vision frame yet again before jumping back in. This woman is quite energetic with her movements, fast talking, and slightly wild expressions yet, despite that she spoke eloquently and articulately. One might not notice if they are not paying attention, which is all Tadashi can do at the moment. A weird mixture... misleading, he notes. "Well, looks like now I can get off early. Thank you for saving my dinner," she says with a wink, before she completely disappears and her footsteps getting progressively farther and farther away.
…
…
…?
What the fuck? He thinks to himself, I just got out of a alleged coma after four months and she speaks to me for no more then five minutes and then leaves? What kind of places is this? Someone's need to fire doctor Merit.
Tadashi blinks furiously in anger but that stops as it exhausts him.
He is awake, he can see, and it all feels... real. And now, he has to wait till tomorrow to find out any more information about his situation. He knows all he possibly can now. So he is left alone with nothing but silences and his thoughts about all he doesn't know.
He feels the panic coming on.
He wishes he could have told her to stay so he could ask her if she knows his name, if he was in a fire, who he is and who he was…
But as quickly as she come, she is gone, torturing him with the one thing he was avoiding thinking about since he regained consciousness: the dreadful realization that he doesn't know shit about himself, yet he knew the fucking technical term for a heart monitor.
He knows. There is no doubt. He has amnesia.
Who was he before he found himself in this shitty situation: immobile and lost?
And he guesses that's the main thing about having amnesia, no one ever knows what kind they're going to get. How it's going to affect them. Here he is thinking logically, remembering all this useless shit about the world yet he can't remember what really counts. The person he was or the people he once loved.
If it wasn't for that stupid dream, would he be feeling this way now? Would he think someone is out there who actually cares about him? Would he be experiencing this turmoil of being completely alone but also feeling like he isn't? Is he missing out on something? Someone?
And what makes this whole situation suck ten times more, is that he couldn't even scream about due to being doped up with God knows what.
But what would he even scream about? His flashback or memory can really just be nothing more than a stupid dream and his feeling about leaving someone important behind or even the man that he called professor could have been an evil demon of the mind trying to deceive him.
Oh look I can remember Descartes philosophy theory from the 17th century but no one I know personally, he mentally streams.
He feels himself spiraling but he can't bring himself to care. He thinks now that maybe it is just a dream and that the reason he can't remember anyone is because he never had anyone care about him in the first place and that he really is alone in this world. Now going psychoanalytical on himself and thinks that maybe he is just trying to suppress his loneliness by simulating crazy false emotions and he's in the hospital because he was some lonely medical intuitive who survived a suicide attempt. Maybe he is. It made sense! He seems to recall a lot of medical information. Maybe he couldn't save any of his patients and was a failure and tried to hurt himself and failed at that too! He thoughts are turning into a comical horror and he is all too aware.
Who am I, Tetris?
He experiences metacognition and yet he allows his thoughts to drive him to insanity. It's going to be a long night.
As'/N:...Well that escalated quickly… but we all know what it's like to feel alone, but to completely lose all personal connection to other people? It get's deep man. But lol, don't worry, this is primarily a romantic story. We have to give you the foundation first and it'll pick up soon so, stay tuned for more :) GogoXTadashi forever!
Aww, we care Tadashi-Bananas
No we don't. Let him go insane- Sam