To my lovely readers:
I still don't own anything you recognize in this story(AKA Shawn & Gus; Wicked, anything other than the non-Psych characters.) Thanks to my best buddy for letting me make her a character. You'll be in next chapter, I promise. If you wanna reveal your identity, feel free. I might not update in a while due to school, so don't think I spontaneously combusted or anything. I AM gonna get crackalackin' right now, though.
Gus was Gus-lecturing Shawn and expressing his concern over... something. Shawn wasn't really paying attention. He was imagining all the possible scenarios that would inspire a teenager to go to psychic detectives for help. Sadly, he did not realize he was murmuring each one under his breath.
"... monkeys raging in and taking over..."
Gus scowled. "Shawn, were you listening at all?"
Shawn considered lying- he could guess what he was being lectured about- but that would be too sane. "Of course, Gussykins!" he began in his best offended voice. "You were obviously lecturing me about something-or-other and expressing concern over a thing."
Gus's scowl deepened. "Shawn, I was talking about our case. And those sprinklers you installed, but mainly our case."
"Oh, yeah..." Shawn gazed out the window. " That Lily girl seemed pretty nice. Ophelia was a meany-head, though. And I do wish we had gotten to that duel..."
"Yeah, well, 'that Lily girl' probably gives cookies to underprivileged children in her spare time."
Shawn considered that. "No, she'd be giving them cake. She probably goes around giving normal people cookies; she wouldn't want to feel Scrooge-y."
"But Shawn," Gus began, changing the subject, "Why didn't you even try to get any substantialdetails about the case? We could have gone interviewing witnesses and productive things, and I could be getting a new briefcase for my presentation tomorrow by now!"
"Well, she was about to cry, and, sadly, you are unable to function in the face of tears. Especially young tears."
"You aren't either! Where were you when that guy with the split personality was crying? Roshambo-ing me! And you weren't exactly about to switch places with me when I lost!"
Shawn looked out the window. A sign said ''Speed Limit: 15 MPH''. They were probably only a block away. "Well, obviously," Shawn replied easily. "Who wouldn't be happy for beating his Roshambo-ing fiend of a best friend?" Shawn always liked to wrap up all arguments before he got out of the car so Gus wouldn't drive away without him. It was a long walk back to Psych HQ, and he'd learned to give up hitch-hiking after the 'llama stalker incident' during his short stint in
Brazil.
"I am a Roshambo fiend, aren't I?" Gus was obviously feeling very flatterable today. He pulled into the parking lot. Lily ran up, but tripped halfway to the Psychmobile.
"Stupid shoes..." she murmured. She was just about the only person in the world who wouldn't sound angry saying that. Ophelia was slowly walking behind her, obviously not to eager to meet up with the Psych office's representatives. Gus pulled into the nearest parking lot and Shawn shot out while the car was still running, which made Gus once again question why fate even let them meet each, and ran to Lily and Ophelia.
"So, what happened? I'm sensing... calamity... and the loss of cast members... and cake... but the spirits are being stingy information withholders, and..." Then Shawn saw Lily's dress. Gus did at the same moment.
Gus raised an eyebrow. "No offense, but... that dress looks like a storehouse that made chiffon, sequins, satin, and cotton candy exploded."
"More like threw up..." Ophelia and Shawn murmured at the same time. They once again gave each other a stare of pure hatred.
Lily blushed pinker than her dress. "Well, pink's not really my thing, so I had to borrow the dress from the last Glinda. Her feet are bigger than mine, though, and we don''t have time to get shoes, so I have to live with these." She shrugged. "Better than being too small."
Ophelia was dressed in a long robe of gold and deep green. "Wait!" Shawn said, "the spirits are trying to tell me something... You're the villain, and you're the part right behind Lily!"
"No way..." Ophelia replied dryly. "You could''ve gone on the website for Wicked and figured that out without the help of your little spirits."
"So... Lily, what's going on here that you needed our help in?" Gus could sense the tension between Shawn and Ophelia building between the two like a typhoon, and he didn't want to go to jail or clean the blood from the pavement after the duel.
Lily looked completely relieved. "Oh, well, um,..." Se took a deep breath. "Well, I just moved here last year so I don't know if this happens all the time but I don't think so- the first Elphaba took a dive down the stairs where she shouldn't have even been at the time because it was ten and we needed her there and now she has amnesia and then the girl who was Glinda was elevated to Elpaba and she and the Glinda who used to be Madame Morrible both got huge shocks from there microphones AND the next Elphaba was found turning purple because she ingested strawberries, which everyone knows she's deathly allergic to, and the new Glinda quit because she thought someone was out to get the lead parts, no matter who they were, and I must say I quite agree, so will you please help us?" She stopped to breathe. "And I'm sorry for the huge run-on sentence," she added.
"Lily," Ophelia began, "You're the only person on Earth who cares about spoken grammar. Lighten up." Gus looked highly affronted at that.
"Okay, first, you know what, Ophelia? You're looking at the most gralammical person in the world right here." Ophelia snickered, Lily was a little confused, and Gus was embarrassed to be seen within twelve miles of Shawn. "And Lily, of course we'll help you out. As soon as I figure out what you said."
Lily blushed. "I wrote it down..." she murmured, rooting through a large paper bag. Gus could see the outline of what was in the bag before Shawn could have a 'vision', amazingly, and brought it up.
"Is that a blender?" Gus asked.
"Mayyyyyybe..." Lily and Ophelia said mysteriously at the same time. Lily pulled a large, ten-page document out of her bag. The first sentence, Shawn saw, was, "I'm sorry this document is so long."
Good thing I have a photographic memory.
She handed it to Shawn just as the door opened and the director-who Shawn saw was 'Mr. Taser' according to his ID, yelled out at Lily.
"GLINDA! Get in here! We need you to embrace your character!"
"Well, Glinda's just mean!" Lily yelled back. "I'm sorry!" She ran back inside after sending an apologizing glance to Shawn and Gus, tripping on the way. "Stupid feet..." she was heard to murmur by Gus. Ophelia laughed a little and walked over behind her. Shawn was too preoccupied by something he saw through the open door to notice any of that.
Well, more like someone.
Shawn slapped Gus on the shoulder. "Gus," he asked quietly, "Can you think of any plausible reason why Lassie would be in a high school auditorium?"
"Gun safety lesson? Although he'd probably end up shooting the first kid to act like a hoodlum... why?"
"Because he's right over there with Jules."
Gus glanced angrily at Shawn at Shawn. "Great. Now if we go in, he'll know we have a case and be competing with us to solve it because he hates your guts."
"You think I don't realize that? Well, other then the Lassie-hating-me-part. He's like my idol, or like the father figure I never had." Shawn thought for a little, then smiled. "I have an idea," he announced.
"What?" Gus asked. "Convince him it's teenage paranoia?"
""Well, I was gonna say we ditch the case and go out for some delicious ice cream, but that sounds way more fun, though slightly less delicious."