Wrong Turn

by bjxmas

7.13 The Slice Girls tag - A collection of Dean Soliloquies. An internal dialogue from this most fascinating and troubled man. So much going on in there. Angst and insight. Drabbles.

2. Numb

Chapter Two – Numb

Cas.

Bobby.

Emma.

So much loss.

So lost...

Don't know what I feel.

Don't feel much anymore.

Maybe I've felt for too long.

Buried too much.

I'm numb to it now.

What am I supposed to feel?

What am I supposed to do?

Sam begs me to not die.

That's all I'm doing.

Trying to survive.

Lisa said I was white-knuckling it.

I am.

Don't know how to change.

Frank says to fake it.

My attempts aren't working.

I do my job.

What else do they want?

Everything else is empty space trying to fill me.

Numb to it all.

The End

bjxmas

February 2012

All standard disclaimers apply.

Jensen makes everything Dean is feeling so palpable, including how shell-shocked and numb he is to it all. Even in the quiet moments, when there isn't much going on physically, you can see the pain on Dean's face. That face-off with Emma was perfectly modulated, the weariness, the concern, the suspicion, the acceptance and the resignation to how it was all going to end. The emotion always resonates when Jensen is acting, whether it is a heartfelt crying scene or more subtle, captured by a simple look or move.

Thanks for reading, comments are most welcome.

Take care, B.J.