Pretending the Past
Part 2

She held her breath as she stepped into the suite, trying to suppress the shudder that came with every breath. A hand absently reached up to swipe at her eyes, coming away wet with salty tears. Her stomach quivered with nerves, wondering and half hoping that he saw the goodbye in the hallway and things would be resolved.

But alas, it wasn't so. When he spotted her, a grin broke out on his face and his features lit up with joy. Her heart clenched tightly and she couldn't hold back one last sob. Five years of thinking her husband was as good as dead, and now he awoke and she couldn't find it in her to feel anything but misery.

"Hermione." The word was a whisper on his breath that didn't hide his relief, his happiness. He struggled to sit up, probably looking to take her in his embrace and calm her down, but it was a futile effort. After five years of being stationary, his muscles had deteriorated to the point where he could only twitch. She turned her head in shame as relief flooded through her, relief that she wouldn't have to feel his embrace just yet.

"I thought I had lost you forever," she said quietly. She sat down on the grey plastic chair beside his bed and fiddled with the hem of her skirt, keeping her eyes from locking onto his, half afraid she'd find anger and hurt in the blue orbs.

"I'm back though," he said, and she could hear the smile in his voice. "Hey, don't cry, Hermione." She closed her eyes to hold back the tears, yet they squeezed through, fat and heavy, every drop a testimony of how cruel a person she was to simply give up on this man who loved her so much.

"I'm…shocked," she murmured. A silence descended upon the room, only the ticking of various medical instruments gave any sort of noise. She could feel his eyes upon her, yet she stayed focused on her hands, unable to raise her eyes to his. As much as she treasured the quiet times with Blaise, the silence felt too uncomfortable with a man she'd left behind.

"Molly and Arthur are doing well. I expect they'll be here as soon as they can. Bill and Fleur have a son, and Charlie hasn't settled down yet. Percy moved to the United States. I'm afraid we don't hear much of him anymore." She knew without looking that he undoubtedly had a scowl across his face. "Ginny and Harry broke it off. Ginny fell for an Italian wizard and Harry is with Draco." This time she did take a glance at him, even though she was already certain that his eyes bugged out of his head and his mouth would be open in a silent scream. She was right, of course, and felt the urge to beat him over the head and see that being with a Slytherin was not consorting with the enemy. A deep breath later, she was composed and once again staring at her hands, her brow slightly furrowed.

"What about you?" he asked.

The words stilled Hermione's heart and hands. She became rigid, her mouth clenching shut as she struggled to find something to say. She did not want to lie to him; he deserved the truth. Yet she didn't want to hurt him, and the truth surely would.

He misread her reaction, much to her relief, and blathered apologies. They did nothing to make her feel better, only making her seem crueler. It was she who should be apologizing for giving up on him, for moving on, for falling in love with a new man.

Stupidly, she chanced a glance at him. Her cruel heart froze in her chest and took her breath along with it. It was akin to looking at a ghost, one that would haunt her forever about her injustice to him. Her wide-eyed expression confused him, for one side of his face scrunched up in puzzlement. It was all so familiar, yet something she'd never expected to see again. She didn't even know if she wanted to see it again.

She stood abruptly, the plastic chair falling over with a clang. His face changed to alarm, his body struggling futilely to rise. She pulled her gaze from his and tore out of the room, breathing hard and ignoring his shouts as they echoed down the stark white hallway.

She couldn't handle this. She wanted Blaise. She wanted the man she loved with all her heart, not the man she had labeled as gone forever.