Chapter 2: The Sounds of Settling

I collapsed in the middle of my apartment and wiped my forehead with the back of my hand, having just closed and taped up the final box. The last six weeks had been the longest weeks of my life. Upon returning to Phoenix, I had soon been informed that I would be relocating to Seattle. It hadn't even been one of the cities that I had pitched. I'd still been pushing heavily for Portland. However, the fact that I had managed to sign the biggest contract that the Newton Corporation had ever negotiated with a Seattle company was an important factor. It was an eight figure account and had the potential to be long-term, so Mr. Newton felt that it would be the most beneficial for his new offices to be located in the same city.

The following weeks had been spent working with my replacement, reading resumes and conducting phone interviews for my new assistant in Seattle, apartment hunting, and doing everything I could to keep Mike's hands off of me. Seriously, the guy had decided that we should now be an item since we were moving up to Seattle together to open the new office.

Mike Newton, with his grabby hands, acted more like he still belonged to a college fraternity instead of the Vice-President of West Coast Operations for an up and coming software firm. Of course, he got the job because his daddy owned the company. Mike was mostly just a cocky bastard who liked to think of himself as God's gift to women. It was this same confidence (well, I called it arrogance) that helped him to be so good at customer relations, though the computer-geek side was his specialty. He was truly a mathematical savant, but he had no ambition for anything unless it had to do with video games… or sex. Even though, with the right ambition, he had the potential to be the next Bill Gates.

Mike had dated over two-thirds of the women in our office in Arizona. And those that he hadn't dated consisted of the ones who were either married or lesbians. Well, and me, of course. I was neither married nor was I a lesbian, and yet I had still managed to keep Mike's hands out from underneath my skirt. Really, we managed to have a relatively good working relationship, and I think it was because I was able to consistently turn him down.

Lucky me, this meant that it was going to be my job to babysit him while we were setting up shop in a new city. Actually, I wouldn't have been surprised to learn that my perpetual non-relationship with Mike was the real reason why I was being assigned the job in Seattle.

The song from my cell phone pulled me from my thoughts, and I grabbed out the phone from my pocket.

"Bella!" the voice exclaimed so loudly I had to pull the phone away from my ear.

"Hi, Mom."

"So, are you all packed and ready to go?"

"Yeah. I guess," I said as I slowly sat up. "The movers are supposed to be here in another hour or so."

"I can't believe that my baby is finally moving away. Although I really wish that you were moving closer to your dear old mom, but I think that this will be good for you and Charlie."

I groaned. "Mom, you make it sound like I'm going off to college." I was twenty-eight years old; it wasn't like I was an eighteen-year-old kid who'd just graduated from high school and was going out in the great big world all by herself for the first time. But my mom was right; since she and I had moved to Phoenix when I had been ten, I'd not left. Not even when my mom had spent most of my junior and senior year in high school splitting her time between traveling with her new husband and being a "parental figure" so that my high school had someone to contact in case of an emergency. In truth, I'd always been the parent in my relationship with my mother.

Renee laughed. "I just think that it's high time that you do something with your life rather than work all of the time, honey."

"I know, I know," I said, trying to placate her, though I knew I wasn't fooling her. My mother may be very childlike, but she was extremely perceptive. I'd avoided part of her earlier statement, and now it was only a matter of time before she brought it up again. "How is Brett?" I asked, trying to distract her.

"Wonderful. Growing. She's very excited about getting to start school in September. And she misses her big sister, you know."

I smiled. Brett was my half-sister. She was an adorably sweet little girl that I'd only seen five times in her life. I highly doubted that she missed me; she hardly knew me. Seeing my mom with Brett and her husband Phil had always been bittersweet for me. They seemed like a happy, loving little family. And somewhere between raising me and having Brett, my mother had found her nurturing side.

"—I just couldn't believe it!" Renee was saying when I realized that I had tuned her out.

"Oh. Yeah, Mom. I can't believe that either," I said in an attempt to cover.

There was a pause, and I almost wondered if I'd said the wrong thing.

"Honey, are you feeling okay? You haven't sounded like yourself the last few times that I've called."

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just stressed. You know, packing, trying to find a place to live sight unseen, dealing with work…. It'll settle soon."

"Are you sure that's it? I just can't shake the feeling that something is going on with you."

As if on cue, I yawned. "Excuse me. Yes, Mom, I'm sure. I'm just really tired. It's the stress, and once I get moved, I'll be able to fall back into sync with my circadian rhythm."

Renee chuckled lightly. "So, have you called Charlie to let him know that you're moving yet?"

I ran my fingers through my hair; I knew she'd get back to the subject of my dad. "No. I haven't. I thought that I'd wait until after I got settled."

Mom sighed. "Bella, you should call him before you move. I'm sure that he'd come up and help you get settled."

"That's what the moving company is for. I don't need Charlie to come in and pretend to be my dad for half of a day just to ease his guilty conscience."

"You know it's not like that, Bella. He wanted to—"

"I know," I said, cutting her off. "I didn't mean it like that. I'm just cranky, and my temper is running on a very short fuse right now. I just don't need to add to my stress. Once I get moved and things even out again, I'll give Charlie a call. I promise. But right now, I don't want to add anything else to my plate. Okay?"

"Okay, Bella. Okay."

Our conversation didn't last much longer. My mom wished me a safe trip and asked me to call her once I got moved into my new apartment, and I complied. Before hanging up the phone, she again made me promise that I would call Charlie as soon as I could. I humored her, knowing that I would be putting off that chore until the last possible minute.

~X~

Leaning my elbows on my desk, I began massaging my temples and taking slow, deep breaths.

In through the nose, out through the mouth.

I'd been in Seattle for two weeks and all hopes of things settling into a manageable routine were slowly swirling their way down the drain. The exhaustion from before had worsened to the point that I was now physically ill. I hardly ever got sick. But here I sat, fighting down the nausea that had been plaguing me at the mere thought of work lately.

Giving up with the massage, I gently laid my head down on the cool, hard surface of my desk and took another breath while I maneuvered the trashcan from underneath my desk. Blindly, I reached towards my desk phone and felt my way to the intercom button.

"I need you, please."

My assistant didn't even respond, and only seconds later, I heard my office door open. "Ms. Swan? Are you still feeling sick?"

"Yeah," I mumbled to the desk without even bothering to lift my head. I jumped slightly when I felt something cold on the back of my neck, before I took another deep breath and relaxed as I almost instantly felt better. It wouldn't last, I knew that, but the momentary relief was welcome.

"I can cancel your three o'clock appointment," Angela said while I slowly lifted my head from the desk. "God, Ms. Swan, you look like hell."

"Thanks," I said with a grimace. "I feel like I've been run over by a truck. I can't kick this damn bug."

"You're working too hard."

"It's not like I have a choice. This office just opened." I glanced at the clock. "Has Mike called yet today?"

She shook her head, and I felt the need to close my eyes; just watching the slightest movement made my stomach queasy.

"Would you like me to make you an appointment for this afternoon?"

I opened my eyes slowly and looked at her. "I thought that you just said that you would cancel my three o'clock."

"I meant would you like me to schedule a doctor's appointment for you in place of your three o'clock?"

"Oh." I glanced down at my desk, full of papers and memos that needed to be dealt with by the end of the day. I sighed. "No. Thanks, Angela."

"Ms. Swan, I really think that you should be seen. You've been really sick for the last week or so, and instead of getting better, it only seems to be getting worse."

Angela was wrong about one thing. This had been going on for longer than a week, but it had been minor at first, only being an issue when my stress was at its peak. Either my minor illness had grown into a major one or my stress was exponentially higher. I was betting on the latter. All a doctor's appointment would net me was an order that I relax and take it easy for a few days and possibly a prescription for some Xanax. I couldn't afford to do either of those things right now, though an anti-anxiety medication that helped me forget about everything for a few hours did sound like bliss, but there were far too many things that needed my attention. Besides, sleep wasn't my problem; if anything I was sleeping far more than normal.

I looked into my assistant's eyes, as she wrung her hands. She was worried, and I started to feel a touch guilty for being the cause of any additional stress for her. "How about I promise that if I'm not any better by the end of the week that I'll go in and see a doctor?" I had no intention of following through. Not that it mattered. I was certain that by Friday I'd be fine.

~X~

Most of the day had been spent in meetings and out of the office. By two o'clock on Friday afternoon, I returned to the office, and after a quick glance to ensure that there weren't any clients milling about, I removed my shoes. The only person I saw was Monique, our receptionist, and Angela. Not even Mike's assistant, Jessica, was at her desk.

"Good afternoon, Ms. Swan."

"Hi, Angela." I smiled weakly at her as I walked past her desk and into my office with my shoes in my hands.

She glanced at my shoes and then smirked as she raised an eyebrow in question. "Long day?"

"And it's not even over yet," I grumbled as I walked to my desk, unceremoniously dropping my cursed shoes on the floor before collapsing in my chair. Angela stood in front of me and handed me a stack of messages.

I barely looked at them before I asked her, "Is there anything that has to be dealt with immediately?"

"Just Mr. Newton. He wants an update on the MacIntyre account."

I nodded. I'd been planning on calling the Phoenix office this afternoon anyway. "Has Mike returned from Portland yet?"

"Yes, he's in his office typing up his report."

I caught Angela rolling her eyes. Even after only working with us for going on three weeks, Angela knew that Mike didn't type up anything if he could help it. It explained Jessica's absence. Knowing his track record, it made me wonder how much work was actually being done in that office; until I reminded myself that I really didn't want to know the answer to that question.

"Anything else?"

Angela looked nervous for a moment as she tucked a strand of her light brown hair behind her ear. "You have a doctor's appointment this afternoon."

I groaned. "I feel fine, Angela."

She shook her head. "No, you don't. I caught you taking a nap in here this morning. You have dark bags underneath your eyes. You face is pasty white. You're hardly eating."

With a sigh, I sat back in my chair. I'd hoped that my efforts to conceal how miserable I'd been over the past few days would have spared me from the doctor's appointment that I'd promised Angela during a moment of weakness on Wednesday afternoon. "All I need is a good night's sleep. Then I'll be back to normal."

Angela stood up taller; she obviously wasn't going to back down. "You've been sleeping and don't try to tell me that you haven't been. I've called you three times this last week in the evenings, and each time you've been sound asleep and in bed before eight."

"And how do you know that those few minutes of sleep that you've interrupted this week haven't been the only sleep that I've managed to get?"

Her eyes narrowed. "Have they?"

I'd meant to stay strong. I'd intended on holding my ground. But in the end, I knew that I was a terrible liar. "Fine." I sighed in defeat.

Angela nodded. "Good."

"Where am I going?"

She handed me a piece of paper with an address and simple directions. "You're seeing Dr. Cullen at 4:30."

~X~

Despite everything, I still tried to get out of the appointment. First by dragging out my 2:30 meeting to last as long as it possibly could, then when that didn't help me, I'd even risked entering Mike's office to try to convince him that we needed to have a meeting about his projects for the next week. I was very grateful that I hadn't walked-in on anything incriminating. It seemed that Jessica really was transcribing notes for Mike's report.

When my attempts at avoidance fell through, I decided to simply suck it up and go. The office was located directly off-campus from the hospital less than half-dozen blocks from my office. I noticed the words on the door, however, and was concerned about what exactly Angela had made me an appointment for.

Dr. Carlisle Cullen, MD, PhD

Immunology & Virology

"Can I help you?" asked the young woman at the reception desk when I entered the office.

"Uh, yeah. Isabella Swan. I have an appointment at 4:30 with Dr. Cullen."

"Of course." With a smile, she handed me a clipboard with instructions to fill out the paperwork and to return when I was finished with it.

After filling out everything that I could remember of my medical history, excluding all of my frequent trips to the emergency room for my clumsy little mishaps, I returned the papers to the receptionist.

"Thank you. The nurse will be right out with you."

"Um. My assistant made my appointment for me, and I'm not sure that she sent me to the—"

"Dr. Cullen's nurse will be out in a moment, and you can talk with her," she answered shortly, effectively cutting me off.

I sat down, though now I was almost sure that this entire trip was going to be a huge waste of my time.

I stared at the window, not even pretending to immerse myself in a magazine, while the time passed. Eventually, the door near the receptionist's desk opened. "Isabella Swan," a blonde woman called.

Standing up, I walked to the door and followed her through.

The nurse introduced herself as she led me back down the hallway. "I'm Kate."

Once in the exam room, she began taking vital signs, and I broached the subject that I tried to bring up to the receptionist. "I'm not sure if I'm at the right place. My assistant made my appointment. I'm new to Seattle, and I'm just feeling a little bit under the weather. I don't think I need an Immunologist."

Kate smiled and glanced at my chart. "Your assistant is Angela Webber?"

I nodded.

"You're in the right place. She called a few days ago and spoke directly with Dr. Cullen. He has a few patients that he's had since his days working in family practice. Don't worry; you're not here because your assistant believes that you've contracted something overly serious."

I breathed out a sigh of relief.

"Okay, so, tell me what is going on with you." And with that the interrogation began.

Before Kate left, she sent me off to the bathroom to give a urine sample, and when I got back to the room, she drew blood. I had to squeeze my eyes shut and not breathe while slowly counting backwards from one hundred in an attempt to distract myself. Passing out right now would not help my current "I am fine" case.

"What are you testing for?" I asked once she'd removed the tourniquet and placed a band-aid on my arm.

"Just some standard tests. This is just going to save some time for Dr. Cullen. For example, we'll check your red blood cell count, your platelets, and iron levels. See if we can't get a clue as to why you're so tired and have felt so crappy for so long."

"Okay."

Kate smiled as she walked out the door, and I sighed as the waiting game began again.

It wasn't long after, though, when a knock on the door interrupted my wandering thoughts again.

"Ms. Swan."

I looked up at the doctor. With blond hair, hazel-green eyes, and stout, chiseled features, he reminded me of someone who my old college roommate would term as "swoon worthy".

"Bella, please," I corrected, holding out my hand.

He grinned, and I noted that when he smiled his skin crinkled around his eyes. They were the only sign of his age apparent on his face.

"Carlisle Cullen," he said.

I nodded.

He began looking through the notes that Kate had made on my chart and the papers about medical history that I'd filled out for him earlier.

"For previous hospital visits you merely listed 'frequent' and 'nothing serious.' Would you care to explain?"

"I'm accident prone. Sprained ankles, broken fingers, stitched up forehead, you know… nothing major."

He grinned lightly, appearing amused as he kept reading. "Last menstrual period?" he asked.

I'd left that blank because I hadn't wanted to make any more of it than was warranted. I knew where that line of questioning would lead me, and I was never regular. "Um… the first or second week of May, I think."

His eyes flicked up to the calendar on the wall. I knew what he was thinking and thought it was best to head off that direction of thought. "I only average about seven cycles a year. Besides, isn't it normal for a woman to skip a couple of periods when she's under a lot of stress?"

"It can be," Dr. Cullen allowed.

I let my tense muscles to relax slightly at the thought that the subject was dropped. Truly, it was nothing that I wanted to contemplate.

"However, we can't rule it out. You don't have any medications listed here. What are you doing for birth control?"

I hated having this conversation with people. Especially strangers. Especially hot strangers that I wasn't going to go to bed with. I didn't care if this man was a doctor, discussing my menstrual cycles and birth control methods with someone I didn't know was embarrassing. I took a deep breath. "Mostly abstinence."

"Mostly?"

"And condoms."

I cursed under my breath as I felt my cheeks flame, and I fought to quickly control it. I'm an adult for Christ's sake!

Dr. Cullen was trying not to look at me as I fought to keep myself under control, and realizing this, I felt my cheeks cool quickly. "I'm sorry, Bella, but I would be remiss if I didn't ask this question."

"Okay."

"Has there been anytime in the last three or four months that you've had the need to use condoms?"

I shook my head. It was an automatic response, and then I glanced at the calendar again. It was the last week of July. My eyes shot between both the calendar and the doctor several times as the pieces that had been staring me in the face for the last several weeks finally fell into place with an audible click.

"Oh, God," I whispered as I wrapped my arms around myself. "Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God."

"It's okay, Bella," I heard Dr. Cullen say, though the words sounded almost muffled and in the background. "I will be right back."

I heard the door open, and I jumped off of the table and flipped the calendar back and began counting. I didn't need to know my last menstrual period. All I needed was the date that I had stayed in Seattle back in May.

The door opened again, while I stood, staring at the calendar.

"Ms. Swan? Bella?"

I turned around.

"I had Kate run a test on the urine sample you left, and it confirms that you are pregnant."

And that did it. The emotion that I had been trying to tamp down, and the moisture in my eyes that I had been fighting to control, broke through the flood gates. I sat myself down in the chair next to the wall and allowed the tears to fall.

I heard Dr. Cullen as he pulled a stool forward, and he sat down in front of me. He grabbed a box of tissues from the counter and handed them to me. Then I felt his hand grip my knee. "This wasn't planned."

I snorted. "No. Definitely not." I pulled out a tissue and began wiping my cheeks, then my eyes, and finally my nose. "I feel so stupid."

"Why is that?"

Grabbing another tissue, I sniffed. "How could I not notice this? How did I manage to ignore it? Now I've wasted your time, completely freaked out my assistant, and caused myself far more grief than necessary."

He smiled softly. "As you've already expressed, you've been under a lot of stress. And really, all of the symptoms that you've been complaining of could have been related to moving and acclimating to a new job. And I'm quite certain that your stress-level has exacerbated your pregnancy symptoms."

"Oh," I muttered, unable to think of anything else to say before I blew my nose.

"Do you know what you are going to do?"

I shook my head. I hadn't a clue.

"I know that you're new here. Do you have any friends or family that you can lean on?"

I shook my head again and laughed harshly. Mike didn't count; I just couldn't picture him being thoughtful and caring. My dad was nearby, but it was still a several hour's drive just to see him, not to mention that he and I had a relationship equivalent of that of distant cousins. Then there was Angela, who I'd known a grand total of twenty-five days. "My assistant."

"Angela is a very good person. If you let her in, she'll take good care of you."

"I've known her for three weeks." I groaned. "I can't believe this."

"Is the father involved?" Dr. Cullen asked next.

I was beginning to wonder if he was working off of a mental list. Did he often deal with newly-pregnant single women?

"No… I… don't…" I let my voice trail off as I rest my head back against the wall and closed my eyes for a moment. How do I say that I have no idea where to find him or really anything about him?

I felt Dr. Cullen squeeze my knee before letting go. "Whatever you decide to do, it is completely your decision." He sighed, and I opened my eyes and looked at him.

"I have to think about it."

"Of course. Kate is collecting some literature for you that will hopefully help you with your decision. She'll give you a referral and help you set-up an appointment for whatever you need."

Dr. Cullen stood from his stool and began to turn towards the door. "I know that I have no right to say this to you, but… If you decide to keep it, I would suggest that you contact the father and let him know."

"I don't think that—"

"I'm sorry, Miss Swan. I'm not trying to tell you what to do. I am just speaking from personal experience that even if you don't think that he'd want to know, he might surprise you, and it would be nice if you had someone else to help you."

He turned back towards the door, but just before he touched the doorknob, there was a knock and the door opened from the other side.

Kate walked in with a stack of papers. "Dr. Cullen, your son is here. I sent him to your office."

"Thank you, Kate. Bella, take care of yourself and call me if I can do anything else for you."

He closed the door behind him as he walked out.

"Okay, Bella," Kate said as she sat down in the seat that the doctor had just vacated. "I have information sheets here for you."

"Can I just take them and go home?" I asked. "I don't want to take up any more of your time."

Kate nodded. "You can, but you're not wasting my time. I'll answer questions, listen to you vent, or just sit here while you try to process everything that's just been thrown at you. Whatever you need."

The tears began to well-up in my eyes again as I listened to what she said. It seemed that Dr. Cullen and his nurse both knew that I was alone, and they weren't going to abandon me to deal with this life-changing information by myself.

And so I sat with Kate as she told me my options, answered my questions, and dried my tears, only stopping when she left the room to go tell Dr. Cullen that she was leaving for the night, before joining me for dinner to continue our discussion.